Ninty 182

"You need to believe in luck to explain the success of people you don't like" - sorry, again I can't remember who said it

With the thread about god in the general section I thought I'd post this, a good-ol' talkin' blues bout religion Black Cross This is the story of Hezekiah Jones... Hezekiah Jones lived in a place... in Arkansas. He never had too much, except he had some land, An' he had a couple of hogs and things like that. He never had much money But he spent what he did make as fast as he made it, So it never really mattered that he had much money. But in a cupboard there, He kept in the cupboard... he kept in the cupboard books, He called the books his "rainy season." The white folks around the county there talked about Hezekiah... They... said, "Well... old Hezekiah, he's harmless enough, but the way I see it he better put down them goddam books, Readin' ain't no good, for an ignorant nigger." One day the white man's preacher came around Knockin' on doors, knockin' on all the doors in the county, He knocked on Hezekiah's door. He says, "Hezekiah, you believe in the Lord?" Hezekiah says, "Well, I don't know, I never really SEEN the Lord, I can't say, yes, I do..." He says, "Hezekiah, you believe in the Church?" Hezekiah says, "Well, the Church is divided, ain't they, And... they can't make up their minds. I'm just like them, I can't make up mine either." He says, "Hezekiah, you believe that if a man is good Heaven is his last reward?" Hezekiah says, "I'm good... good as my neighbor." "You don't believe in nothin'," said the white man's preacher, You don't believe in nothin'!" "Oh yes, I do," says Hezekiah, "I believe that a man should be indebted to his neighbor Not for the reward of Heaven or fear of hellfire." "But you don't understand," said the white man's preacher, "There's a lot of good ways for a man to be wicked..." Then they hung Hezekiah high as a pigeon. White folks around there said, "Well... he had it comin' 'Cause the son-of-a-bitch never had no religion!" Written by Joseph S. Newman, popularized by Lord Buckley (This is the Bob Dylan Version from the Gaslight Tapes)

"Threre is no problem so bad that moaning about it won't make it worse" (not sure who said it)

Little Yellow Spider Little yellow spider, laughing at the snow Ah, maybe that spider knows something that I don't know 'Cause I'm goddamn cold Little white monkey, staring at the sand Well, maybe that monkey figured out something I couldn't understand Who knows? Well, I came upon a dancing crab, and I stopped to watch it shake I said, "Dance for me just one more time Before you hibernate and you come out a crab cake" Hey there, little snapping turtle, snapping at a shell Ah, there's mysteries inside, I know But what they are I just can't tell for sure And hey ya, little baby crow, you're looking kinda mean I think I outta spit before you start letting off your steam For sure And hey there, little sexy pig, you made it with a man And now you've got a little kid with hooves instead of hands And oh, all the animals All the animals And hey there, little mockingbird, they sing about you in songs Ah, where you been? Have you broke a wing? I haven't heard you in so long And hey there, little albatross, swimming in the air Ah c'mon, you know I can't fly And I, I think we really outta play fair And hey there, Mr. happy squid, you move so psychadelically You hypnotize with your magic dance all the animals in the sea For sure And oh, all the animals All the animals And hey there, Mr. morning sun, what kind of creature are you? I can't stare, but I know you're there Goddamn, how I wish I knew And hey there, Mrs. lovely moon, you're lonely and you're blue It's kinda strange, the way you change But then again, we all do too Devendra Banhart

Keenan & Kel - "My parents don't know anything about true love, they're married"

St. James Infirmary I went down to St. James Infirmary. I saw my baby there. Lying on a long white table, So sweet, so cold, so fair. I went up to see the doctor. 'She's very low,' he said. I went back to see my baby And great god she was lying there dead. I went down to Old Joe's Bar-room. Down on the corner by the square. They were serving drinks as usual. And the usual crowd was there. On my left stood Joe MacKennedy. His eyes were blood-shot red. He turned to the crowd around him And these are the words that he said: Let her go, let her go, God bless her. Wherever she may be. She may search this wide world over But she'll never find another man like me. When I die please bury me In a high top stetson hat. Put a gold piece on my watch chain. So the boys will know I died standing pat. Get six gamblers to carry my coffin. Six chorus girls to sing my song. Put a jazz band on my tailgate To raise hell as we roll along. This is the end of my story. So let's have another round of booze. And if any one should ask you just tell them I've got the St. James Infirmary Blues. Traditional

Imagine Imagine there's no heaven It's easy if you try No hell below us Above us only sky Imagine all the people Living for today... Imagine there's no countries It isn't hard to do Nothing to kill or die for And no religion too Imagine all the people Living life in peace... You may say I'm a dreamer But I'm not the only one I hope someday you'll join us And the world will be as one Imagine no possessions I wonder if you can No need for greed or hunger A brotherhood of man Imagine all the people Sharing all the world... You may say I'm a dreamer But I'm not the only one I hope someday you'll join us And the world will live as one John Lennon

science will clip an angel's wings

Wow, that's creepy, I can't imagine not being able to wake myself up from a dream. That must've been awful; Freddy Kruger style I remember once having a nightmare where some mad man had escaped from Broadmoore, near my home, whilst I was at school. I then ran out to get my bag, which I'd left outside, and then, finding myself locked out of the school in the playground with this mad man coming my way. However it then sort of changed and stopped being a nightmare and turned into me and mum (I know, sounds gay) chasing this guy around town in a go-kart, Crash Bandicoot Racing style (which I'd been playing earlier that day). That was a pretty good dream. Do people here enjoy having dreams / nightmares.? For me I'd rather have a nightmare than to dream nothing. If I don't dream anything I feel as though the time's wasted. I mean I must have played out hundreds of different stories in my dreams and that's kind of how I see it; having a dream is like watching or playing the main charater in a film and a nightmare is just like watching a scary film

I have a History essay which I need some help with. How significant was the contribution of women to Britain's war effort in WW2? If possible I'd appreciate it if someone could post or email me a completed essay, if someone has already done this or one similar. If not, just something to help me out

Karl Pilkington - "All I'm saying is that old people need to be old people. You need oldness. You need to see old people. You need to go "Right, they might have a solution they've been on the earth longer. Quick, we need an answer. How old are yer? - I'm 32 - Well you look 78!" " On identical twins - "You always get a little snidey one." "It's just easier to put stuff off once we've got this calendar, whereas if we didn't have a date you'd have to do everythin' straight away...Say if I was in charge and someone said that buildin' needs knockin' down, it's dangerous, if we didn't have a calendar we'd go, "erm lets do it now then." Whereas 'cos we've got a calendar it's easy to say..."next Wednesday'"

If people want to try and have a listen to the songs that're being posted I recommend going to Deezer.com, it's free & leagal an' everything.

I just wanna say if people want to visually enhance their lyrics then that's up them, but it's a lot of effort and I can't really be bothered. I don't think it makes much difference anyway. This is a religious song (though I'm not religious, y'know, I'm not preaching here) which I just found quite interesting Jesus is Coming Well, we done told you, our God's done warned you, Jesus comin soon. We done told you, our God's done warned you, Jesus comin soon. In the year of 19 and 18, God sent a mighty desease. It killed many a-thousand, on land and on the seas. We done told you, our God's done warned you, Jesus comin soon. We done told you, our God's done warned you, Jesus comin soon. Great desease was mighty and the people were sick everywhere. It was an epidemic, it floated through the air. We done told you, our God's done warned you, Jesus comin soon. We done told you, our God's done warned you, Jesus comin soon. The doctors they got troubled and they didn't know what to do. They gathered themselves together, they called it the Spanishin flu. We done told you, our God's done warned you, Jesus comin soon. We done told you, our God's done warned you, Jesus comin soon. Soldiers died on the battlefield, died in the counts too. Captain said to the lieutenant, "I don't know what to do." We done told you, our God's done warned you, Jesus comin soon. We done told you, our God's done warned you, Jesus comin soon. Well, God is warning the nation, He's a-warnin them every way. To turn away from evil and seek the Lord and pray. We done told you, our God's done warned you, Jesus comin soon. We done told you, our God's done warned you, Jesus comin soon. Well, the nobles said to the people, "You better close your public schools." "Until the events of death has ending, you better close your churches too." We done told you, our God's done warned you, Jesus comin soon. We done told Blind Willie Johnson

Mother's Little Helper What a drag it is getting old "Kids are different today," I hear ev'ry mother say Mother needs something today to calm her down And though she's not really ill There's a little yellow pill An' She goes running for the shelter of a mother's little helper And it helps her on her way, gets her through her busy day "Things are different today," I hear ev'ry mother say Cooking fresh food for a husband's just a drag So she buys an instant cake and she burns her frozen steak And goes running for the shelter of a mother's little helper And two help her on her way, get her through her busy day Doctor please, some more of these Outside the door, she took four more What a drag it is getting old "Men just aren't the same today" I hear ev'ry mother say They just don't appreciate that you get tired They're so hard to satisfy, You can tranquilize your mind So go running for the shelter of a mother's little helper And four help you through the night, help to minimize your plight Doctor please, some more of these Outside the door, she took four more What a drag it is getting old "Life's just much too hard today," I hear ev'ry mother say The pusuit of happiness just seems a bore And if you take more of those, you will get an overdose No more running for the shelter of a mother's little helper They just helped you on your way, through your busy dying day The Rolling Stones

After enjoying the Skins finale I thought I'd post this song which the show ended on Wild World Now that i've lost everything to you You say you wanna start something new And it's breakin' my heart you're leavin' Baby, i'm grievin' But if you wanna leave, take good care Hope you have a lot of nice things to wear But then a lot of nice things turn bad out there Oh, baby, baby, it's a wild world It's hard to get by just upon a smile Oh, baby, baby, it's a wild world I'll always remember you like a child, girl You know i've seen a lot of what the world can do And it's breakin' my heart in two Because i never wanna see you a sad, girl Don't be a bad girl But if you wanna leave, take good care Hope you make a lot of nice friends out there But just remember there's a lot of bad and beware Oh, baby, baby, it's a wild world It's hard to get by just upon a smile Oh, baby, baby, it's a wild world I'll always remember you like a child, girl Baby, i love you But if you wanna leave, take good care Hope you make a lot of nice friends out there But just remember there's a lot of bad and beware Cat Stevens

In response to Foo Fighters who I detest, I thought I'd post this beast of a song, though it is pretty long. It's been compared in the past to Bob Dylan's desolation row, both musically and lyrically so I suggest anyone who's a fan of that to check this out. It's by Phil Ochs on his album 'Tape From California' When In Rome In the fire blue forests, faded and forgotten I crawled through the cotton fields, picking for cotton The overseer sneered, his whipping was rotten With ecstasy. In child-like terror I tore out the tap roots The cards of the lash were calling to follow suit I dashed for the swamps, the hounds in hot pursuit Jealously. All through the night a figure of fright, as I hid my head And they buried their nose in a cut of my cloths, now torn in shreds And they never would leave until they believed that I was dead But I'd never curse their names Oh, who am I to blame I know I'd do the same Endlessly. And all the high-born ladies So lovely and so true, Have been handed to the soldiers When in rome do as the romans do. Frail and afraid in the mists of the morning The snakes and the spiders were sadly performing The bark of the dogs kept up the warning Inside the wood. Sweating and swearing I crawled from the manger The highway appeared to take me from danger Is there anyone here who would pick up a stranger? Oh I wish you could. Then someone replied would you like a ride? "Come in" he said. We drove for a while, he gave me a smile and a piece of bread The hammer was hard in the chrome of the car as I cracked his head Then we took off in a spin Oh I smashed his skull again Oh thank you my good friend, I feel so good. And all the high-born ladies So lovely and so true, Have been handed to the soldiers When in rome do as the romans do. Late in the evening I came to the city I fell to the sidewalks sighing for pity A diamond was dropped from the hands of the pretty To be so kind. Cowards and corpses were busy competing The rhymes of the riots were busy repeating I raced to the corner and sped from the speeding To save my mind. Latches and locks, companies of cops ran from the rain There was silk in the stores for the whims of the whores that shone with shame. I asked for a light from a priest in the night then I fanned the flames. And the traffic all stood still To see if someone had been killed I was glad to leave a thrill So far behind. And all the high-born ladies So lovely and so true, Have been handed to the soldiers When in rome do as the romans do. A monk and his mother were dancing so dandy A topless nun was handing out candy The beautiful bishop broke out the brandy The kiss we crave. They stuttered and stammered, would I feel like staying We fell to our knees, feverishly praying The salt in the salt-peter seemed to be saying "Be brave, be brave." I reached reached for a robe, I preached and I probed And I taught the tune. And the greed for the guilt was played to the hilt As I promised doom I toyed with their fears, until coins and tears filled the room Then I took off down the road Laughing madly like a toad God bless every soulless soul That would be saved. And all the high-born ladies So lovely and so true, Have been handed to the soldiers When in rome do as the romans do. A chorus of children were passing the hours I joined in their fun and gave them my flowers Covered with kisses and showered with showers That they repaid. Taken and trusting, would I be their teacher? She looked so appealing, I wanted to touch her Just out of reach, unable to reach her Their hands were raised. Charmed by the chalk, the lessons were taught, inside the class They studied the rules of the samurai schools, they had to pass The room was adjourned, the lessons were learned, I turned on the gas And I watched them make their pleas They passed the test with ease I gave them their degrees, They made the grade. And all the high-born ladies So lovely and so true, Have been handed to the soldiers When in rome do as the romans do. Feeling my weakness, a coward for company I joined the ranks of the hot and hungry To teach what it means to have love for your country We marched away. We lowered our lives for the lines of a border We danced with the mothers, played with the daughters We followed our fantasies, following orders It was child's play. After the war the bullets were bored so we capped the game With cynical smiles we put them on trial to place the blame Now what kind of beast would love such a feast Have you no shame? So we hung them by the feet Oh, we shot them in the street Oh, the victory was sweet On victory day. And all the high-born ladies So lovely and so true, Have been handed to the soldiers When in rome do as the romans do. The bread and the circuses came to be nearing The saviour or somebody must be appearing Pagans and pageants were all disappearing Inside my head. The stones on the statues were staring and stalling Caesar and cassius were cursing and calling The empire had risen and now it was falling Or so it seemed. The crown and the cross seemed empty and lost in dark despair And luminous lies, death in disguise were everywhere The canvas was cold, the story was old, I said my prayers Then I crowned him on the head Oh, I blessed him as he bled Oh at last, the king is dead God save the queen. And all the high-born ladies So lovely and so true, Have been handed to the soldiers When in rome do as the romans do. Now nothing remained for building or burning The losing of lovers was all I was learning A time for escape and a time for returning had come to me Back through the ashes and back through the embers Back through the roads and the ruins I remembered My hands at my side I sadly surrendered Do as you please. The hero was home, proven and grown, I fell on the floor Mad with romance they started to dance, their star was born I bled like the rain, exploded in pain, then I screamed for more Oh, make me feel sublime Release me from my mind Oh, kill me one more time And set me free. And all the high-born ladies So lovely and so true, Have been handed to the soldiers When in rome do as the romans do. Phil Ochs

The book's out now, what does everyone think of it?

Feel Like A Man When I saw Marlon Brando on the big screen like a hero It made me act and feel like one too For three or four hours I thought no one could touch me Then I skidded back to feelin' like I do I'm lost, crazy lonesome A plane with no place to land And I do what I have to To make me feel like a man Feel like a man When I was 22 years old, my daddy he was 70 I didn't know how a young man's supposed to be A few years after that he breathed his final breath But there's some secret he forgot to whisper to me And I'm lost, crazy lonesome A plane with no place to land And I do what I have to To make me feel like a man Feel like a man And I look in the mirror And I wait for the damn thing to speak Who needs answers One good question would be a relief So I go to all the movies and I memorize my lines And I try to stumble through another day And I'm always looking for the perfect jacket Or a million dollars, or a bullet Is it only me who goes through life this way Lost, crazy lonesome A plane with no place to land And I do anything To make me feel like a man Feel like a man Dan Bern

Life On Mars It's a god-awful small affair, to the girl with the mousy hair, but her mother is yelling 'no', and her father has told her to go, but her friend is nowhere to be seen, as she walks through her sunken dream, to the seat with the clearest view, and she's hooked to the silver screen, but the film is a saddening bore, 'cause she's lived it ten times or more, she could spit in the eyes of fools, as they ask her to focus on... sailors fighting in a dance hall, oh man! look at those cavemen go, it's the freakiest show, take a look at the lawman beating up the wrong guy, oh man! wonder if he'll ever know, he's in the best selling show, is there life on mars? it's on America's tortured brow, mickey mouse has grown up a cow, now the workers have struck for fame, cause lennon's on sale again, see the mice in thier million hordes, but to the ibeza to the norfolk broads, rule britannia is out of bounds, to my mother, my dog and clouds, but the film is a saddening bore, cause I wrote it ten times before, its about to be writ again, as I ask you to focus on... sailors fighting in a dance hall, oh man! look at those cavemen go, it's the freakiest show, take a look at the lawman beating up the wrong guy, oh man! wonder if he'll ever know, he's in the best selling show, is there life on mars? David Bowie

Daily Planet In the morning we arise and Start the day the same old way As yesterday the day before and All in all its just a day like All the rest so do your best with Chewing gum and it is oh so Repetitious Waiting on the sun Down on go-stop boulevard it Never fails to bring me down The sirens and the accidents and For a laugh there's plastic nancy She's real fancy with her children They'll go far, she Buys them toys to Keep in practice Waiting on the war I feel shivers in my spine When the iceman, yes his ice is melting Won't be there on time Hope he finds a rhyme For his little mind Love

Cops Of The World Come, get out of the way, boys Quick, get out of the way You'd better watch what you say, boys Better watch what you say We've rammed in your harbour and tied to your port And our pistols are hungry and our tempers are short So bring your daughters around to the port cause we're the cops of the world, boys We're the cops of the world We pick and choose as please, boys Pick and choose as please You'd best get down on your knees, boys Best get down on your knees We're hairy and horny and ready to shack We don't care if you're yellow or black Just take off your clothes and lie down on your back cause we're the cops of the world, boys We're the cops of the world Our boots are needing a shine, boys Boots are needing a shine But our coca-cola is fine, boys Coca-cola is fine We've got to protect all our citizens fair So we'll send a battalion for everyone there And maybe we'll leave in a couple of years cause we're the cops of the world, boys We're the cops of the world Dump the reds in a pile, boys Dump the reds in a pile You'd better wipe of that smile, boys Better wipe off that smile We'll spit through the streets of the cities we wreck We'll find you a leader that you can elect Those treaties we signed were a pain in the neck cause we're the cops of the world, boys We're the cops of the world Clean the johns with a rag, boys Clean the johns with a rag If you like you can use your flag, boys If you like you can use your flag We've got too much money were looking for toys And guns will be guns and boys will be boys But we'll gladly pay for all we destroy cause we're the cops of the world, boys We're the cops of the world Please stay off of the grass, boys Please stay off of the grass Here's a kick in the ass, boys Here's a kick in the ass We'll smash down your doors, we don't bother to knock We've done it before, so why all the shock? We're the biggest and toughest kids on the block cause we're the cops of the world, boys We're the cops of the world When we butchered your son, boys When we butchered your son Have a stick of our gum, boys Have a stick of our buble-gum We own half the world, oh say can you see The name for our profits is democracy So, like it or not, you will have to be free cause we're the cops of the world, boys We're the cops of the world Phil Ochs

"If you have intercourse you run the risk of dying and the ramifications of death are final.” — Cyndi Lauper "Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost an important part of your life.” — Brooke Shields “It’s really hard to maintain a one-on-one relationship if the other person is not going to allow me to be with other people.” — Axl Rose “I’d rather be dead than singing Satisfaction when I’m forty-five.” — Mick Jagger “We are going to turn this team around 360 degrees.” — NBA player Jason Kidd “If there is one word to describe Atlantic City, it’s Big Business.” — Donald Trump “He speaks English, Spanish, and he’s bilingual too.” — Don King “Predictions are difficult, especially about the future.” — Yogi Berra I don’t think anybody should write his autobiography until after he’s dead.” — Samuel Goldwyn “I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada.” — Britney Spears “I’ve never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don’t like eating fish. And I know that’s very popular out there in Africa.” — Britney Spears "Is this chicken or is this fish? I know it’s tuna but it says chicken of the sea.” — Jessica Simpson “I’m sounding worse than Jessica Simpson right now. She’s looking like a rock scientist.” — Tara Reid “I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman.” — Arnold Schwarzenegger “You know, one of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terror.” — George W. Bush “Rarely is the question asked, is our children learning?” — George W. Bush Friend: "Jessica, you want some buffalo wings?" Jessica Simpson: "Sorry, I don’t eat buffalo."

There's been a new car designed especially for women: It has a compartment for lipstick, a horn that loudly tuts at men in white vans and indicators that change their mind at the last minute.

Kingdom Of Doom Friday night in the Kingdom of Doom Ravens fly across the moon All in now there's a noise in the sky Following all the rules and not asking why And when the sunset world begins Turning into the night I see everything in black and white and then Drink all day 'cos the country's at war You'll be falling on the palace floor I can't be anymore than I see In the flood get washed away And when the sunset world begins Turning into the night I see everything in black and white and then A love song for the collaboration you And me will never be and then We'll let it flow away The Good, The Bad & The Queen (officially no name I believe)

Got to say I am quite enjoying this thread, so here's my contribution. You've all probably seen it before but funny as hell: