Julius

I can't be having a France v England final, I just can't. Immovable object v Object which simply refuses to move

England is a high school student who can't find the drive to do their homework until the morning of

How do we keep getting away with this? Revamps the left and the goal comes from the right. Just saying.

Welp.

Takes us 15 passes to get from one side of the pitch to the other – horizontally, not vertically. It has been fine so far, but fine doesn't win matches. Really reminding me of Spain after they dropped off around a decade ago with having loads of possession but lacking that directness which scores goals...you know, the way you win a match?

I was honestly thinking more just in terms of the quality of the competition. These quarters have been pretty naff to be honest, and with a good few players missing the semis through suspension already, I can't see them being the step up that they really ought to be. As for England - Gareth will still find a way to not start Trent

Kicked the ball out in all of 6 seconds Anyways, just looking at the lineups and thinking back to yesterday, these accumulated yellows should really be getting wiped after the Round of 16. Mental how many starting XI players are going to be/risk missing the semis.

Other than a potential shape change, Konsa in for the suspended Guéhi is the only change to the starting XI compared to last time out against Slovakia. And so the fun begins

Right, today's the day. To get us all in the mood...

Pepe will deserve to be in the Team of the Tournament based on how the competition has gone so far. He's been immense.

THEY STILL HAVEN'T SCORED WITH A FRENCH PLAYER FROM OPEN PLAY AND THEY'RE IN THE SEMIS

Poor João, but you just knew with his run-up what was about to happen. Can't help but think Ronaldo screwed his team a bit by seemingly choosing for them to go second. Some great pens on display though, Mendes in particular to blast it top right was wonderful.

Longest feeling round of extra time I've ever witnessed. Swear it said 28 minutes elapsed, I look away and look back, and we're back down to 24. WHY. Don't care who goes through at this point, because I'll want Spain to smash them regardless.

Mbappé off is strange, especially with pens coming up, though he's got a broken nose so it's a weird one. He's clearly been in a lot of pain in the matches he's been wearing the mask and picking up knocks to the face. Also, I know he was brilliant at them at the World Cup in 2022, but he missed the deciding pen for France at Euro 2020/21 in the R16 if I'm remembering right. So I do wonder if there's a little bit of that at play Weird for someone at his level to seemingly ask to come off with 15 to go to pens. Really weird.

There were chances at least, but good lord, extra time AGAIN?! Not going to be in the mood for tomorrow's England match at this rate Anywho...needed to pass the time, so Ronaldo when Portugal get a free kick: Ronaldo to his teammates when they don't find him: Ronaldo to every Portuguese person in a 20 mile radius when there's a chance at a free kick: That would mean the referees and UEFA acknowledging that they made mistakes. (I totally agree though)

Ran out of insults in English to use to describe the scum that is Anthony Taylor and Michael Oliver, so decided to look up some insults in other languages. Obviously, German, to keep it topical. Think my favourite is bananenbieger – Someone who’s engaged in a pointless task, who can’t concentrate, or has no direction in life can be called a bananenbieger, or “banana bender.” Seems very accurate for these refs

Right? Having Ronaldo come on with 30+ left strikes fear into the opposition, he can be fresh both physically and mentally (as we saw isn't so much the case after his emotional outcry last time out), much more likely to score if they were to do that too I think. But it's Martinez. He's a tinkerer, but there's a reason he won nothing of substance with Belgium. Also, really harsh yellow for Palhinha. Referring today has been all over the place. And those refs? Anthony Taylor and Michael Oliver, of course

Yes, commentators, we know he's Sérgio Conceição's son. Because you've told us EVERY. FREAKING. TIME. he's walked onto the pitch this tournament

Just been thinking, Martinez probably should've been trying to utilise Ronaldo like an impact sub similar to how Nagelsmann had been using Füllkrug. Promise him he'll come on around the 60th minute to help define the final scoreline, think it'd have more of a mental impact for his team and against the opponents, too

Proper end-to-end now. Great chance for France there. Hope this continues on for the next 25+ to close this game out

Portugal really going for it now, some great attempts from them and excellent saves by Maignan. Shocked Ronaldo and Portugal wasn't shouting for a pen, I don't think it was one but a case could certainly be made. Much more of one than that Mendes dive earlier.

I did, great trailer Though we've almost had as many trailers for that game as we have Own Goals at this edition of the Euros!

Both teams look fully capable of scoring, the game has been flowing well in that it's going from left to right and back again...but they just kind of refuse to. Not quite the place or time I was expecting the players' strike to start to be totally honest Checked on this, because, well, not a great match so far and what else is there to do, really? Can confirm they both missed a pen on Russia. Messi vs Iceland @ World Cup 2018 Ronaldo vs Iran @ World Cup 2018 Great, now I need to find another rabbit hole to fill my time with during this second half...

So, 2018? I swear they both missed one at the World Cup in Russia, I'll check on the break