Posted March 14, 2006 So I think I've got appendicitis. I'm seeing the doctor in the morning but until then I'd like to know if I could possibly perform an appendectomy myself... Can anybody help me out? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 14, 2006 Call Blackfox, I'm sure he'll do it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 14, 2006 Drink a whole bottle of Grants and look up how to do it on the internet. Take the sharpest thing you can find and cut away dude. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 14, 2006 Both these options are enticing to me. I'm glad I am recieving such good sensible advice. I shall consider these two methods while I squirm in pain a bit. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 14, 2006 if you think you have apendicitus yu should get help asap, as if it explodes you are screwed. so if you really are worried get the doctor/ambulance to come round. ring up nhs direct (assumign you are in the UK) and they should be able to give you a fairly accurate idea of if you have it or not. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 14, 2006 Oh you were serious? Sorry man but the title of the thread is misleading. If its so bad you can barely move, call a doc. If its bearable then take a pill of some sort or have a little tipple to numb it. Not enough to get wasted, the last thing you want is to be drunk and have your insides explode. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 14, 2006 Yes. Of course you can perform an appendectomy yourself. Take a knife and make a nice big slit in your stomach. Reach into the opening and pull out various organs until you find one that looks a little like an appendix. Cut this away and then (if she is around) call your mother to help stitch you back up. Most mum's are a whizz with a needle and thread! Alternatively, stop asking stupid questions and get yourself to a doctor asap. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 14, 2006 Randomly thrust a knife into your lower torso, should hit the right spot sooner or later. Might wanna rub some Dettol around the wounds when you're done. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 14, 2006 Tell me where you live, then get a bottle of chloroform and a rag. Pour some of the chloroform in a rag and take a deap breath. And when you wake (if you wake up that is) the only thing worry-ing is where are your stuff is! Buuut still if you thing you have appendicitis you should see a doctor... if it explodes, well then your screwed Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 14, 2006 Don't worry everyone, doctor says I'm fine, I just pulled a muscle or something. He reckoned i'd done it doing sit ups, but I don't do those knowingly. So, bit of a mystery really. Maybe I'm some sort of sleep-exerciser. Still hurts though. PS: the thread title was meant to be a bit jokey, I expected everyone to come back with the 'drug yourself silly and go nuts with a knife' suggestions. So no hard feelings. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 14, 2006 Hmm, this is wierd. My brother was sent to hospital with suspected appendicitis (turned out it wasn't though) and my abdomen has been playing up all last night and this morning... (come on MSN) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
