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Xpert 11 Season 23: The highlight of the Summer


Haden

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There's an old joke. Uh, two elderly

Xpert players are watching the change report

and one of 'em says: "Boy, the

players in my team are really terrible."

The other one says, "Yeah, I know, and

I have such a small squad." Well, that's

essentially how I feel about Xpert. Full

of loneliness and misery and suffering

and unhappiness, and the season is all over much

too quickly.

 

The-the other important

joke for me is one that's, uh, usually

attributed to Oddy, but I think

it appears originally in Season 1's tactics and

its relation to the unconscious. And it

goes like this-I'm paraphrasing: Uh ...

"I would never wanna belong to any team

that would have someone like me for a

manager." That's the key joke of my Xpert

life in terms of my relationships with

teams. Tsch, you know, lately the

strangest things have been going

through my mind, 'cause I have managed for 5 years

tsch, and I guess I'm going through a

life crisis or something, I don't know.

I, uh ... and I'm not worried about aging.

I'm not one o' those characters, you know.

Although playing 4-3-3 slightly to much, that's

about the worst you can say about me. I,

uh, I think I'm gonna get better as I get

older, you know? I think I'm gonna be the-

the Italian manger type, you know, as

opposed to say the, uh, Dalgleish type manager

, you know? 'Less I'm

neither o' those two. Unless I'm one o'

those guys with saliva dribbling out of

his mouth who PRs his life thoughts like Charlie

with a shopping bag screaming about

socialism.

 

(Sighing)

Haden United and I parted ways and I-I still can't

get my mind around that. You know, I-I

keep sifting the pieces of the relationship

through my mind and-and examining my career

and tryin' to figure out where did the

screw-up come, you know, and a year ago we

were... winning a league. You know, and-and-and

... And it's funny, I'm not-I'm not a

morose type. I'm not a depressive character.

I-I-I, uh,

(Laughing)

you know, I was a reasonably happy manager

I guess. I was brought up in Leatherhead

during the Falklands

 

MOTHER

(To the doctor)

He's been depressed. All off a sudden,

he can't do any tactics.

 

DOCTOR

(Nodding)

Why are you depressed, Haden.

 

MOTHER

(Nudging Haden)

Tell Dr. Oddy.

(Young Haden sits, his head down. His

mother answers for him)

It's something he read.

 

DOCTOR

(Puffing on his cigarette and

nodding)

Something he read, huh?

 

Haden

(His head still down)

Other teams are expanding.

 

DOCTOR

Other teams are expanding?

 

HADEN

(Looking up at the doctor)

Well, Xpert 11 is everything, and if

other teams are expanding, someday it will break apart

and that would be the end of everything!

 

Disgusted, his mother looks at him.

 

MOTHER

(shouting)

What is that your business?

(she turns back to the doctor)

He stopped doing his homework.

 

HADEN

What's the point?

 

MOTHER

(Excited, gesturing with her hands)

What has the Xpert 11 got to do with it?

You're here in Leatherhead! Leatherhead is not

expanding!

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@Zell do something useful for once and beat Dragpoo

 

DragPOO? You don't stay in the middle league (finishing fourth, by the way) by being POO. You're cruisin' for a brusin' sunshine. ;)

 

Anyway, should be an excellent game. I'm making numerous changes to my squad, so I expect to get beaten in this game.

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Well, if anyone wants a 36-6 midfielder he's yours' I can't sack him and want to free some space.

 

Ok guys and gals, here are the two recorded features of the Round 1 and 2 draws. Unedited, and none of the dancing from earlier.

 

 

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I was thinking of gettting VIP again. I should get around to that.

 

Can't let you have him Peeps, that'd be like letting RvP go to Man United!

 

He's worth a cool 2.3m and is named after my best player for Essex Elites, although I stupidly selected midfielder and not defender which he was.

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I've sold Oscar Loeben, my Captain. 33 years old, 7 skill. The guy was suffering massively for 2 seasons with injuries and I've been struggling to get him to 10DV. Thought it would be better to let him move on, considering two of my defenders moved to 7 and 8 skill. Time to focus on getting them up rather than worrying about Oscar lagging behind.

 

A bit worried about 5 defenders being enough for this season. 6 seems a bit too much at times.

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I usually stick to having 1 player plus than the maximum you can have in a position - (i.e. 2 in goal, 6 in defence, 6 in midfield and four up front). You can have 4 up front, but that is ridiculous if you ever want to win.

 

Hmm, the problem I have is that my defence are young and I'm trying to get them as many games as possible, to improve their DV. Also, I did find myself playing 3 at the back at times last season and the season before that. So, having 6 defenders meant that there were 3 which weren't getting game time.

 

I found it quite a struggle to settle on a defence with 6. I don't really want to bring anybody in, purely because it would ruin my plan for developing these guys.

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I had the best defence in the league last season, I have none of these pathetic worries :p

 

Lol...

 

You still conceded more than you scored and lost 7 games. :heh:

 

I'm going to be brave and go for it. If needs be, I'll bring somebody in after a few games as an emergency defender.

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I had the best defence in the league last season, I have none of these pathetic worries :p

 

Also: Sorry Peepsy, someone made a bid on Brammar! If they hadn't I probably would have gotten VIP and sold him to you :)

 

After what Tales said, I evaluated the 17-4s on the transfer list until I found one that was training cone and good at headers... so I think I'm the bidder lol

 

His name and appearance was changed :o

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