Chris the great Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 Title: She's done it again! action adventure in which britney spears has a secret double life as a governmet assassin, sort of like hannah montana but without the fact you wanna do her. britney must track down menbers of al quida, all the way up to the big cheese him self, osama bin laden! as she tracks down each of the generals, she takes them on in over the top action climaxing in a brutal finnisher and quips "oops i did it again!" before begining the whole song and dance routine. empire calls it "the child neglect film of the decade!" nuts magazine gives it two muffs the great washing macine mystery
Konfucius Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 the great washing macine mystery In 1941 in the small german city of Grammer a series of abductions occurs. The local police chief Rainer Unsinn and his deputy Hans Imgriff are assigned to the case. In a race against time they have to solve the case because every night more and more people disappear. One night a young man covered in blood breaks down before the police office. A large "h" is carved into his chest. Before they can question him, he dies of his injuries. The two officers continue their investigation and eventually find out that all victims are connected. Everyone worked in the advertising departement at a local washing machine company. When they investigate the workplace, they find lots of advertisements that say "Waschmascine" - missing the h in "maschine". Rainer Unsinn immediately concludes that this must be the work of the Grammar Nazis, though afraid, it remains Hans Imgriff's duty to confront them and rescue all the people. He sits all night in front of a sheet of paper, writing something, starting all over again lots of times. But finally he created a sentence so complex Grammer Nazis would have endless discussion about whether it's right or not. Hans puts it in their mailbox the next morning and while they stand in their front yard argueing with one another he sneaks into the house and into the cellar, where he finds all the victims. Once all of them are out he proceeds to arrest the Grammar Nazis. I know it's awful and I apologize but I don't want to delete everything I came up with. Actually, I'll make this the next title: I know it's awful and I apologize but I don't want to delete everything I came up with.
weeyellowbloke Posted July 11, 2009 Posted July 11, 2009 Mike Bellview is an aspiring author with an extremely stubborn personality. Halfway through his debut novel he decides to send the manuscript to some publishers to see what the response is. He receives replies such as "My god, this sucks worse then all the film novelisations in the world combined" and "So bad I incinerated it with a blowtorch so it wouldn't pollute anybody elses eyes". However, far from putting Mike off he instead determinedly pushes on with completing his novel with the encouragment of local coffee house owner and love interest Mona. After many "hilarious incidents" Mike completes his work which gets published and critically acclaimed as the worst piece of writing in the history of the english language. "A deeply intellegent story. In being a bloody awful film it cleverly reflects in real-life the problems of its fictional protagonist" The Guardian "Utter shit! 10/10" News of the World Next title: Big Time Sensuality, for all you Bjork fans out there.
MoogleViper Posted July 11, 2009 Posted July 11, 2009 the great washing macine mystery IWhen they investigate the workplace, they find lots of advertisements that say "Waschmascine" - missing the h in "maschine". Rainer Unsinn immediately concludes that this must be the work of the Grammar Nazis[/b] Are those grammar nazis going to kill you as well then?
Konfucius Posted July 11, 2009 Posted July 11, 2009 (edited) Are those grammar nazis going to kill you as well then? As I pointed out in my very first sentence of the story, it takes place in Germany. Therefore it would make very little sense that the ad for the washing machine was in english and "Waschmaschine" is a german word and comes with two "c"s - I actually assumed it would be clear that this word wasn't english. Edited July 11, 2009 by Konfucius
MoogleViper Posted July 12, 2009 Posted July 12, 2009 As I pointed out in my very first sentence of the story, it takes place in Germany. Therefore it would make very little sense that the ad for the washing machine was in english and "Waschmaschine" is a german word and comes with two "c"s - I actually assumed it would be clear that this word wasn't english. I knew it was German, but I didn't realise it was meant to be. I thought you had accidentally mixed German with English. My bad.
Konfucius Posted July 12, 2009 Posted July 12, 2009 I thought you had accidentally mixed German with English. Ich mixen german und englisch? That ist unpossible! :D:D
Konfucius Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 I have no idea what to actually write but I'd like to get this thread going again, so I'll do it anyways. Big Time Sensuality At the dawn of the new age at around 2:59 AM, Hank, the 20 year old son of a local nobleman walks along the docks of the harbour of a random city in a ramdom part of the world. The mist is very thick and it is very dark and his sundial stopped working. That's when he hears Big Ben in the distance behind him and just as he turns around he looks into the eyes of a beautiful girl who was obviously trying to pick his pocket. As he forcefully removes the pocket from her hands he notices how soft they are and immediately falls in love with her. So they kiss. The next day Hanks is really excited and eager to see her again and he tells his father about it. But his father forbids it. That still doesn't stop him and he meets her again at the same spot at the same time but being afraid his father might find out they arange to meet during the day inside Big Ben for some big time sensuality. After several month Hank's father finds out and is determined to kill them both because society expects it. But just as he is about to do it, he sees a tattoo on the girls back which says that she is the rightful owner of some random country in the new world. So she gets shipped off that way and Hank never sees her again. New title: Love in the time of swine flu
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