Dannyboy-the-Dane

Man, I'm sad to hear attendance is low this year. I definitely plan to return with a vengeance next year! It just wasn't feasible for me to come this year, unfortunately.

... That explains why the Cockpit was empty.

Sending you guys a thought as I'm in London for a few days.

Yeah, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to pass this year. I have a bunch of stuff going on these months, so I'm going to be rather spent both time-, money- and energy-wise. Feels bad, man, having to finally skip a year, but I hope to return with a vengeance next year!

Unfortunately, I'm not sure if I can make it work this year. I'll have to figure it out.

Good on you guys for arranging all of this! I'm proud of you! <3 I donated earlier and just ordered a t-shirt with Goafer's brilliant design. (Oh, and I spent all of my daily thanks in this thread. )

Congrats, man!

Yeah, in my experience it's really only as awkward as people make it. I've expressed interest in, asked out and even gone on dates with friends without it going anywhere, and I've never had any awkwardness; for me the awkwardness stems from the uncertainty - how does she feel about me, is there any reciprocal interest, etc. Once I know how she feels, I'm all good; and I never feel like I've been met with awkwardness, either - in fact, in none of the cases has it negatively impacted the friendship to any extent that I've noticed. If anything, I feel like the openness and honesty often diminishes any potential awkwardness. (I have typed the word "awkwardness" far too many times in this paragraph.)

That was amazing. Surgeon Simulator just lends itself so well to let's plays, especially co-op. Please do more!

You keep rationalising why you shouldn't fear non-existence, but that's not my point; my point is that it can be scary on an instinctual level for us creatures who only know and are hardwired to maintain existence. Based on our interaction, I'm starting to think we look at the concept of fear in different ways; your view seems to be a more practical one - is there reason to fear something? - whereas I come from a more emotional perspective - why does something cause fear in people?

But my point isn't that you fear the "feeling" or "state" of not existing when it happens, but that the idea of not existing itself can be scary while you exist, since existing is the only thing you know, and you're hardwired to maintain it. I'm not at all saying you should fear non-existence, but it baffles me a bit that you say you don't even understand that fear.

Now, I don't think that's fair to say; it's a basic human instinct to survive, to maintain existence, so how is it not perfectly understandable that the idea of no longer existing can be scary? Why the need to paint people as narcissistic? The love for others can also be a reason for wanting to stay alive, to spend more time with them. It's not that it's hard to grasp from a purely logical standpoint, but are you really telling me that the idea that your mind will eventually simply cease to exist hasn't poked at some existential part of you at some point? Of course it's irrelevant once we're actually gone; the point is that the idea that we'll eventually be gone can be pretty difficult to ever truly comprehend - not to mention scary - when all we've ever known and ever will know (for obvious reasons) is existence.

I'd say you really should talk to someone about this. You can feel yourself getting worse and not knowing how much longer you can go on, which translates to "I need to seek professional help right now". Do you have a therapist or anything of the like?

Went to my first meeting Friday in a small group for people with issues writing their master's thesis and other big papers, and it was really good! The other attendees were friendly, the psychologist seemed very competent, and I'm already trying out a work plan to slowly ease me into a rhythm without triggering my anxiety too much.

The idea of one's own non-existence is one I think is fundamentally difficult for anyone to grasp - I know it is for me. Of course it's not a nice thought, someday not existing anymore, but at the same time I feel like I'm so far from actually truly understanding it that it's not something I go around thinking about or fearing on a daily basis. I might at some point, but I think I'm still young enough to have that subconscious "My life's gonna go on forever!" feeling where the end is still so far away that you don't even consider it ... though since hitting my twenties I'm becoming more and more aware of my age. Thinking back, I have actually felt the fear of running out of time, but in a very specific area: When I was still a virgin and my self-esteem was a lot lower, I genuinely feared I would never find love, and that brought on feelings of stress and a sense of impending doom - with every passing day I felt like my chances of finding a special someone and spending my life with her were diminishing. I'm so much better now, but it's still a fear that can tug in the back of my mind when I'm at my lowest. On a side note, when I learned about the inevitable heat death of the universe, it made me really uncomfortable - still does a little bit. At least when I die, other people will live on, but at some point ... it just ends. "Everything that has a beginning has an end, Neo." That fucks with me somewhat.