Haden

Wow you look like Beck.

Audio Made of Win 1-2 Noodle FC Veteran and newly promoted Noodle faced a tough first fixture away to mid table finishers Made of Win. After 20 minutes the contest was 1-1 but Noodle showed his tactical knowledge and Noodle FC began to dominate possession. Eventually the pressure was to much and the breakthrough came at 85 minutes, Noodle's star midfielder Ferraz shot in the winner from a corner. Giving Noodle a great start to the season. Party at Richters 4-1 Edd Kirby Athletic Events did not turn out as good for Edd Kirby Athletic another promoted team who faced Party at Richters away. Party chose a 3-4-3 formation showing intent to score plenty of goals and they delivered. Holding on to the ball and creating 16 chances Party were supreme and Edd could only hold out for so long. Party's captian Eaves was excellent setting up 3 of Party's 4 goals. Edd's captain Whitbread on the other hand suffered a serious injury and the team missed his presence. Along with this injury 3 yellow cards were issued but the players calmed down before events got to ugly and Party at Richters moved to the top of the league. Silverdale FC 1-2 Tin Can Club Silverdale are the last of the clubs to have been promoted to play and were in fact the champions of Division 1 last season. Tin Can Club after narrowly avoiding relegation last season were keen to notch up a victory. The game was an entertaining affair with chances on either side and both teams playing a well balanced 4-4-2. However Carlehom showed his worth and shot a great goal to round off a fince performance and give Tin Can Club an important away win. Madog United 1-3 Happenstance FC Happenstance FC the first ever NE champs have been a club on the decline in recent seasons. However the manager seems to have started a new era with a positive attitude with a great victory against Madog United. The game wasn't all smooth sailing though, the match was a tempestuous one with 4 yellow cards 2 injuries as well as a penalty for Madog United. Through all of this carnage Happenstance FC emerged as the stronger team. Madog simply lacked any punch playing 4-5-1 with their sole striker Naranjo isolated time and time again. Madogs midfield also failed to perform despite the numbers with Wimbeldon producing a particularly bad display. Happenstance will be happy with the win and bookies are already backing them to win the title. Analysis Most Important Result: Made of Win 1-2 Noodle FC, a great victory for newly promoted Noodle away victories will be crucial for the clubs campaign and with the other two promoted clubs slipping the victory is doubly important. Turned on the Style Award: Party at Richters, 16 chances shows a driving creative spirit that was missing from the club in previous seasons, a terrifying display of attacking football. Player of the Day: Party at Richters C Eaves, was an inspiration to his team creating 3 chances and helping the team dominate possession. Audio Mcoys Sons 1-1 Battlestar Odwinica The most interesting match in Division 1 was surely this one. Mcoys Sons widely seen as one of the best teams in the league faced off against new team Battlestar Odwinica headed by none other than multiple championship winner Oddy. Both teams tried different tactics Mcoy choosing 4-3-3 and going after Oddy while Oddy chose 4-4-2 and attempted to dominate possession. In the end both tactics canceled each other out, Oddy had 56% of possession but Mcoys attacking play looked more threating. A 1-1 draw was a fair result for two teams that surely have a bright future. Jaffa Munchers 6-0 The Adorable Vikings Sadly Division 1 suffers from managers who don't turn up. This was such a game Jaffa Munchers facing no tactics or organization ran riot over the Vikings creating 10 chances and almost every single player contributed to or scored a goal. The Vikings were abysmal giving one of the worst performances seen in Xpert history, they desperately need a manager or their old one to come back. Mike Strikes FC 0-5 DuD Baggies Sadly Mike Strikes is yet another team with a manager that did not turn up. Dud Baggies enjoyed a devastating victory in the absence of any strategies being set for Mike Strikes. Mike Strikes players tried to make up for their lack of a manager by fouling Baggies players lightly injuring Standen and earning themselves 3 yellow cards in the process. Baggies player Shelton was an inspiration and scored the first hat-trick of the season, overall a great victory for the Baggies against a desperate Mike Strikes. Tellyns Heroes 0-3 Complete Domstercool Complete Domstercool has long been regarded as one of the strangest teams in Xpert. The team has 10 midfielders and seems to disregard normal pratices of management. They have been to the heights of the Premier League and to the depths of Division 1. However they scored a great victory against fellow veteran Tellyn today using their key strength their epically large midfield, by playing 4-5-1 and creating 12 chances and converting 3. Whether this strategy will work against better teams only time will tell. Analysis Most Important Result: Mcoys Sons 1-1 Battlestar Odwinica, these two teams seem favourites to do well this season and this match was crucial to see which one would have an advantage in that race as it stands we still don't know Turned on the Style Award: Jaffa Munchers, having nearly every player score or assist a goal is quite some feat a really stylish style of total football from Jaffa Munchers Player of the Day: M Shelton from Duds Baggies, first hat-trick of the season in any league a great day for Shelton! Thats it fol... Wait I forgot we have our first interview with none other than the legend himself Mr Odwin! Why the shock retirement from your old club? I did what I set out to do. Winning the league five seasons on the trot shows that my team was the best of the best and there was nowhere else to take it. I was just going to get better and better because I was winning and getting the prize money to invest in new players and lots of training. It was a vicious cycle of win and I wanted a new challenge. Who do you see as your rivals in the league? Mcoys Sons and Complete Domstercool. Mcoy seems to be hungry for promotion and knows how to work the game. Complete Domstercool has 10 midfielders - that's mental. How can you compete against someone that's mental? I'll never know what he's going to do. Promotion in one season? It's not our goal. We want some strong developing this season, maybe a double jump or two in the change report. I've brought in a lot of new talent and I want the boys to learn how to play together, get their hearts, that sort of thing. Next season we'll go for promotion big style, but it may happen this time anyway. A nice bit of insight there from Mr Odwin. Remember if you want to be interviewed about any subject (relating to xpert of course!) PM me and you will be featured on this hallowed show! Thats a wrap see you on Friday for another round of the NE Xpert report.

Dw lower leagues are incoming Btw heads up guys. I would like to conduct very short interviews with members of the leagues to be put in the next edition of the report. It will be literally like 2 questions I will PM you for your opinions and witty responses. If you are interested PM me! I will stagger the interviews across multiple editions if I get to many.

I am on summer break from school so have an obsence amount of free time. And being the loser I am about xpert thought it would be fun to have MOTD style post summarising what happened for people to glance over quickly. Bit rough at the moment but what are you going to do. Anyway enjoy the first episode of MOTD xpert style! Audio Roostophe Rovers 2-2 Cube FC The strongest team in N Europe met the yo yo team Cube FC at home in the opening match of the season. Things started off well for Roostophe with star player Kurt Monington setting up a well crafted goal. However a shock looked on the cards after Cube FC drew level then after a cooly executed penalty went ahead! Blushes were saved in the 72nd minute but this will not have been the start Villans sqaud of legends would have wanted. Emo Blades 0-1 Essex Elite Emo Blades manager J7 singled out Essex Elite as a team he needed to beat to survive this season on this form survival may be in question. It was the first meeting between the two clubs and was a cagey affair with only 1 chance for either team. However Essex Elite's striker Carpenter struck in the 80 minute to give Essex Elite a crucial win to start the season with and Emo Blades some thinking to do. Secret United 4-0 Rez Rabies Secret United had never beaten Rez Rabies a team that is notoriously hard to score against before this day. However today they earned a superb victory that propelled them to the top of the league. Secret United dominated play with 61% of possession and went after Rez from the get go scoring after 18 minutes, Rafaelinho was particularly devastating scoring twice to show that the Division 1 champion is more than ready for the top league. Dysonism F.C. 5-2 Sixty-Fourthers Dysonism F.C. were lucky to avoid relegation last season escaping on a technicality while Sixty Fourthers had one of their best seasons in the clubs history. This seem to be reflected in the 49th minute as Collins drove in a thunderous goal giving the 64s a 2-1 lead. However Dysonism who have traditionally been one of the best attacking teams in the league scored an incredible 4 goals in ten minutes causing mayhem in 64s bewildered defence. Every one of Dyson's midfielders scored proving the team may be coming back to their best. Analysis Most Important Result: Has to be Essex Elite beating Emo away, this shows that Essex Elite are ready to prove their worth and puts Emo in trouble already. Turned on the Style Award: Obviously Dyson, 4 goals in 10 minutes? Superb. Player of the Day: While Xpert 11 may say differently NE report says Dyson's Patrick Twigg for the creativity he inspired to turn a whole game around, helping assist the 2nd and 4th goal. Thats it folks tune in soon for what is happening in the other leagues!

What do you think of my team? I like to have old classics 28-30 holding players 24-25 and young stars 18-21 in all positions? That sound good?

msn me you wont miss the next one ask Flinky I was hassling that loser a month in advance!

Damn man save some money treat your players to a party. I'm T you are Philly.

This guy! Actually he is more the friend I want.

You should aim for a draw I think you have a better team.

Villans recent policy of sell young buy old has me wondering if I should do the same. He now has the best team in the league but is it a risk to do this? Is this how Oddy grabbed a stranglehold on the league I wonder.

Sadly so I made a post in how is your day but think it may have got lost.

While he may be fine it does absolutely no harm to see your GP, saying you're fine mate won't be much comfort if it is something serious which he could have got sorted.

The fuck that sounds very serious man get it checked asap your GP monday morning. I had a lump once thought it was cancer but was actually harmless and I was fine. It didn't hurt though so dunno what to say about that I'd get it checked asap.

64s double header interesting. Think this will be a tough season for me hopefully I can secure a nice mid table finish.

I was just making you feel better about having to support such a lousy national team.

Soag obviously has a massive or tiny penis judging from the pics haha. I reckon huge those cannons dont do him justice! Here is a pic of me morning after the night before dodging a camera shot.

Me! Godarnit

It is wrong though but as I said I would do the same thing. Actually dunno if this has been asked in the thread yet but is there some sort of contract that you get given with the reasons that you are being given money? I guess its something vague like support. The thing is he does pay his parents rent so thats a good thing I guess if he has the money to buy an ipod he could spend it on buying some shopping for his mum. Still its tough and hes obviously pissed at not having a job as I said I would have been the same.

Its a thread that has brought up issues and debate who cares if someone has a tendency to post certain types of threads. As long as its not a stupid amount per week its better than having everything in one or two general threads.

Wtf kills 270 people. He should die in prison surely... Have strong views on this stuff I am still getting over that everyone related in that Baby P fucked up scenario, including the guy who raped another kid as well as killing that baby aren't doing life.

I've heard of Breathless that seems to be his most famous work I will check it out. I brought this one as I am interested in the 1968 student revolutions in France cause I studied it for my history degree.

No I have heard a lot about him I am in a French film mood after seeing "The man on the Train". What films of his would your recommend

"So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her."

I just realised I pay emergency tax which I hate. So I have basically brought Villan his Ipod in like a month. Screw it I would have still did what he did haha

I pretty much agree with this but I don't trust my own argument so I think both me and the Villan are wrong. Oh what a post-modern nightmare. To lighten the mood here is what I brought with my wage I earn via my job so don't hassle me to! lol