Manning Up

[Falcon_BlizZACK]

@Ashley - I appreciate the long post.

 

On the topic of issues in my life - not at all. I'm in a long term relationship with a very loving woman who would vouch for some of my ideas. I'm more so looking at the issue from the stands because I'm not in the dating scene or have 'baby momma drama' as it's put. But I think its some what naive to think these issues are non-issues.

 

I didn't state women are being treated equally to men - but there are a lot more initiatives in place to support women today, in some areas men are dealt a raw deal. Such as with health and child support. Surely equality should actually mean an equal treatment? The 'superiority' I talk about is more double-standards where women are working and earning a living yet social norms demand that a man still pays for her for example. In that setting, the man is clearly in an inferior position.

 

How do you know 'just a few' men worship women? I'd argue it's widespread and social media proves this with all these "Instagram models" who are just after attention and the droves of men appraising them. It repels me because this sort of behaviour by men validates the notion that your beauty or fake beauty is all that is required to be successful as a women. In turn creating women who only value aesthetics and will go to any length to attain them. Again I'm not on the dating scene so it really doesn't concern me, but when I see my little sister spending hours on make up doing that contouring crap and take selfies at every possible occasion, with a well practiced model pose - it pains my soul.

Edited October 27, 2016 by King_V

[Ashley]

I'm glad you're happy

 

I'm not necessarily saying they're non-issues, but the problem is some men are taking minor issues (and feelings of being suppressed) and pushing back too extremely and there is a danger that if you feed into that the problem goes (I can't really explain this well as my head is foggy).

 

Women get some things better in health and some things worse. We're in a country where abortion is provided by our national health care, but some countries it is illegal. Women, until recently, had to pay tax just to buy tampons, I'd say societally there's still an expectation that women will take birth control (use both kids!) but I've not checked into this so take it with a pinch of salt. You can find examples of how each gender is treated better or worse in terms of health and it is impossible to say who has it best/worst overall because it does depend on your circumstances (a woman who has three kids is likely to have it worse medically do to all that comes with it than a man, but then a man could have problems with his prostate and if you compare him with a nun's health he's worse off). The issue becomes this mentality of "well we have it bad too so pity us!" doesn't help. A society pitted against each other never helps.

 

If a man is in a relationship with a woman and she makes him pay against his wishes there is an issue there deeper than societal expectations. Most people I know in relationships just share money without much thought, I've certainly never come across any relationships where the woman earns but expects the man to pay for everything out of his own pocket (other than in scenarios when that is the arrangement up front agreed by both parties).

 

So men liking women on Instagram and praising their looks is "worshipping them"? it's a complication issue because on the one hand does the woman feel she has to post images of herself to crowd source her self esteem because society has told her the only way she can be valued is to be pretty? If so the woman is getting a raw deal there. Or is she simply aware men can be shallow and looking to capitalise on it? If so is that not somewhat the fault of the men for wanting nothing more than something pretty to look at? And then how do you explain homosexuals who likewise just want to look at attractive women/men? In one instance there's no woman involved, but the desire and activity is still there.

 

We as a society need to ensure our women don't feel that they need to use make up just to feel attractive and the only way to know is through men's adoration (unfortunately due to this message being so frequently peddled its an uphill struggle), but on the other hand we can't tell them what not to do. We can just make sure they are doing it for themselves. And they can and some do. Just like some men spend hours at the gym each day so they can post #fitfam Ultimately I don't see it as an issue with/for one gender, but a bigger issue that has unique facets within each gender.

 

Here's the thing - when my parents divorced, I made it clear that I wanted to be with my father because my mother was an alcoholic, had stolen from us both and was quite violent (wow, that was a painful sentence to type ) but the social worker assigned to the case was insistent that "Mother Knows Best". The result of that was needless court battles and us eventually moving out of the family home one night when mum went crazy attacking us.

 

...rambling, but the fact is, the court system and support system automatically assumes that the mother is the primary caregiver, which is not always the case. Nor is it ideal for the mother to be so in some circumstances.

 

I wonder how different this might be now. I'm not going to pretend its perfect, but we've made some strides since you were a child (lol you're old) so I wonder how less prevalent the idea that "mother knows best" is. Presume there's studies out there but I've got a doctor to go to!

[Falcon_BlizZACK]

I'm glad you're happy

 

I'm not necessarily saying they're non-issues, but the problem is some men are taking minor issues (and feelings of being suppressed) and pushing back too extremely and there is a danger that if you feed into that the problem goes (I can't really explain this well as my head is foggy).

 

 

If you're feeling suppressed in your community, it can't be a minor issue. The very least we can do is create a dialogue about these issues rather than shush them as minor. I don't know the stats but I'd bet men still top the charts on suicides and that male rape, sexual abuse and domestic violence goes under reported, even scoffed at.

 

Neither genders feelings should be undermined if we are truly seeking equality.

[Beast]

Nothing annoys me more than people telling me to "man up". Whether it's from liking or hating something or acting a certain way, it's just fucking annoying. It's depressing to try and be someone you're not. I have one life and nobody is going to please everybody anyway so why waste any effort in trying to conform to the standards of the male stereotype? Screw that shit! Just be yourself. If you're a woman, be a woman. If you're a man, be a man. Just own who you are and be who you are. Be YOUR idea of a woman. Be YOUR idea of a man.

 

I would say that's down more to do with the mother being the primary caregiver (and usually the kids preference) over the father who is interacted less because he's off working to provide.

 

And that arrangement is normally down to the mother having a greater attachment to the lil git she's been fapping about for nine months. Unless she's a real career freak, then you may have the father stepping in.

 

Here's the thing - when my parents divorced, I made it clear that I wanted to be with my father because my mother was an alcoholic, had stolen from us both and was quite violent (wow, that was a painful sentence to type ) but the social worker assigned to the case was insistent that "Mother Knows Best". The result of that was needless court battles and us eventually moving out of the family home one night when mum went crazy attacking us.

 

...rambling, but the fact is, the court system and support system automatically assumes that the mother is the primary caregiver, which is not always the case. Nor is it ideal for the mother to be so in some circumstances.

 

I can relate so very much to this. I didn't have a good mother. She used to ignore me and pretend I didn't exist sometimes, we had arguments, she was angry...we had good times but the bad times heavily outweigh everything.

 

I'm very close to my Dad but the courts still awarded my mother for the exact same reason of "Every child needs a mother" and "Mothers have maternal instincts" and "Mother knows best". What a crock of bollocks! My Dad is amazing and I'd love to be a great father like he is.

 

I'd love nothing more than to be a father. That's always been my dream from a very young age but admittedly, the fact that mothers have these rights and the court favours them with unsatisfactory evidence disgusts me and worries me.

[Cookyman]

You are what you are, and nobody should try and change that except you.

 

You can be as camp as Butlins or as macho as fuck - if you're happy with you, then that's all that matters.

[sumo73]

Men and women in general have some physical and mental differences. One gender is not superior to the other.

 

That said one of my friends transitioned from female to male before I met them and has a girlfriend now as well. I don't see my friend as transgender, I just see my friend as a man.

 

 

 

 

"What is a man? A miserable pile of secrets". - Dracula in Castlevania: Symphony of the Night

Edited November 6, 2016 by sumo73

[Falcon_BlizZACK]

Men and women in general have some physical and mental differences. One gender is not superior to the other.

 

 

Thinking about that sentence a bit more, thats not really true is it? ie a man possesses the natural potential to be noticeably stronger than a woman.

 

Cant one gender be superior at certain things?

[sumo73]

Thinking about that sentence a bit more, thats not really true is it? ie a man possesses the natural potential to be noticeably stronger than a woman.

 

Cant one gender be superior at certain things?

 

I wanted to avoid making a long post so I kept it short. You'll find that in areas where men are superior to women as you say you'll also find areas where women excel so in general my point still stands that one gender is not superior to another.

Edited November 7, 2016 by sumo73

[somme]

Even if men are capable at being physically stronger than women, the strongest woman is mostly likely stronger than 99% of men.

 

In this day and age there are very few things one sex can do than the other can't.