Posted March 26, 2008 So folks, my thread the other time was quite interesting and enlightening. It died after a while but I am still feeling woes amongst the congregation. Come winge, moan and advice seek. (**DISCLAIMER**I'll do my best just don't sue me **DISCLAIMER** ) My gem for the day, inspired by another convo. There are lots of single people here who hate it, like really hate it. Most people find it inexplicable why they feel like that but bare this in mind: life is full of so much and relationships are only a small part. If you define yourself by the search for a relationship then you will be empty of all else and have nothing to offer someone that you may meet. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 26, 2008 any life lessons when you are too picky when it comes to the opposite half? oo and when you literally get pick out in a club and you find it hard to take the plunge beyond a quick dance :S Agony jamba helps! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 26, 2008 Excellent, another vessel for my ill-formed yet oddly convincing advice. /Bowser-laugh Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 26, 2008 Excellent, another vessel for my ill-formed yet oddly convincing advice. /Bowser-laugh Come on then! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 26, 2008 Depends a little I'd guess. In most cases though it's fine to be picky, most people just get worried about it because they think that they will reject their "one chance". Which is crap. On the other hand, if you are being picky out of fear (risking breaking your heart or the chance of being locked in a relationship with the wrong person is scary stuff!) then that's different. You need to really look into what it is that your being picky about. Either way, you just need to have the confidence to know that you are going to be ok, no matter what. Woman (or man) or not. Some people may confuse being picky about looks as being shallow. This is often not true at all. If you don't find a woman attractive that's neither her or your fault. Are you thinking this because people keep on telling you that girls you reject are "perfect for you" and that kind of stuff? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 26, 2008 Hilariously I think it is part fear of rejection and part not wanting to be the imposing man whores that you get around. Whenever I look at people who literally just get with the first thing that falls into their fat arms, makes me pity them. Maybe a pity which I wouldnt like to impose on myself, if that should happen. So I dont tend to be that adventurous when it comes to "pulling". and in answer to the latter question posed. Its a mostly and squarely 50:50 both! Ive had friends which have siad "she said she was totally into you" "thought you were cute" etc and sometimes there are some which are abosultely stunning but regardless in whatever situation whether i think they are nice or not. It is pretty much the same outcome. and I wouldnt put it down to fear of relationships caus i have had many in the past and its has been fine. Its since uni... *strokes chin* -------------- Hum Aimless a very thought provoking post I get what you are trying to say. In the situation I am more questioning the "capacity" to put myself out there rather than the "motive" of putting myself out there. (hopefully that makes sense). I mean there was no situation where I can say I forced msyelf into a situation because they arent right because there has been times where I thought "shes nice" but I just end up taking a nice cold shower instead :S If you are being 'picky' then that would suggest you are pushing for a possible relationship. That is very intriguing I have never consciously thought that I wanted one but it I cant out right deny your suggestion.. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 26, 2008 Erm, okay, I'll see what I have in stock... If you are being 'picky' then that would suggest you are pushing for a possible relationship. As an addendum to Jamba's initial post, I would go so far as to say that actively looking for love is pointless¹. It is much like trying to force an idea: inspiration comes and goes as it pleases, and trying to grab it by the tail will only lead to frustration. As for being selective in general... well, I don't see it as a bad thing. People take their time weighing up jobs, holidays or DVDs, so why should selecting someone to share your life with be any different? There's the extreme of being shallow, but as Jamba says if you don't find someone attractive then that's just the way it is. I should mention, though, that if all you're after is 'a bit of fun' then... well, I'm not the person to consult. I'm not condemning that path, but it goes against my personal values. As such I'd make a poor advisor. ¹Note that I'm not writing off the ability of, say, dating websites or the like. They could be classed as artificial, but some people will find happiness that way as they essentially fasttrack natural social conditions. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 26, 2008 Hum Aimless a very thought provoking post I get what you are trying to say. In the situation I am more questioning the "capacity" to put myself out there rather than the "motive" of putting myself out there. (hopefully that makes sense). I mean there was no situation where I can say I forced msyelf into a situation because they arent right because there has been times where I thought "shes nice" but I just end up taking a nice cold shower instead :S I know what you mean here, been there lots. Sounds like you know what you want but you're impatient. Nobody has met the standard (which sounds like you respect yourself enough to impose that) and your trying to put it out there to check if the reason why Miss Right hasn't shown up is something to do with you. Believe me, its not you. She's just stuck in traffic right now Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 26, 2008 All sounds like a sweet bitter pill to swallow XD What would you guys see; as a way of tackling or defusing such a dilema? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 26, 2008 Go have fun. Sleeping with people that you know you aren't going to be with can seem cheap but a one off can be fun and refreshing. It's a bit of a gamble but it'll keep you out of/ get you into trouble. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 26, 2008 It isn't a dilemma, it's a matter of time. I'd suggest simply trying not to get hung up on it. As Jamba said in his opening post, “If you define yourself by the search for a relationship then you will be empty of all else and have nothing to offer someone that you may meet.†All you can do is place yourself in situations where you're likely to cross paths. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 27, 2008 Go have fun. Sleeping with people that you know you aren't going to be with can seem cheap but a one off can be fun and refreshing. It's a bit of a gamble but it'll keep you out of/ get you into trouble. Remember to use protection. Yes casual sex is fun but do you really want to be stuck with an unwanted kid from an unwanted partner? And STI/STDs are common. You don't want one of them. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 27, 2008 Remember to use protection. Yes casual sex is fun but do you really want to be stuck with an unwanted kid from an unwanted partner? And STI/STDs are common. You don't want one of them. Lol I thikn if anyone gets one send it along caris' way. haha Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 27, 2008 I have a rash on my penis, and i don't know what to do. What do you think? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 27, 2008 I have a rash on my penis, and i don't know what to do. What do you think? Savlon. If it persists then go to the doctor. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
