Roostophe Posted January 1, 2008 Author Share Posted January 1, 2008 Yah, you just told us :P We saw! Alright, alright. It's gone. Yikes! You should but the non-bolded narration in between "shall we go in?" and "yes i think we should" and remove the bolded, and describe the way he says it to highlight the humour. Sorry i've not seen this before, and sorry I don't have much time right now to evaluate it so i'll just give you these two points for now, but I will get back to it when i can. In the future could you put a line break between each paragraph? it get's pretty tricky to read it when it seems non-stop like this! I figured you lot were busy with Uni/Work/Broken Arms, so I wasn't actually expecting any responses until later this month... A line-break? May I inquire as to what this is, exactly? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jayseven Posted January 1, 2008 Share Posted January 1, 2008 just insteadof writing.. likethis with a new paragraph.. ^leave a nice lil' gap Can't give it a go-over right now, got like five minutes to be on PC! Arg! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roostophe Posted January 21, 2008 Author Share Posted January 21, 2008 Hoorayzi, I gots over the writer's block that had been bugging me for the last month or so. I couldn't think of any decent ideas for this chapter, but I had new ideas appear for the other chapters. A lot more stuff has been added into the story. So much so, in fact, that this is not Chapter 9, but Chapter 10. There's still some stuff I'd like to change. For instance, the name 'Valheim' (the antagonist). I'm not too keen on this, as it doesn't sound evil enough. It doesn't have the same oomph as a name like 'Voldemort' would have. Annoyingly, I can't think of a decent enough name. Anyway, thar ye are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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