Cube
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There's something oddly satisfying about in depth videos about tiny aspects of video games, like the blue dog in Majora's Mask
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Doraemon 3: Nobita’s Town SOS!
- JP release: 28th July 2000
- NA release: N/A
- PAL release: N/A
- Developer: Epoch
- Publisher: Epoch
- N64 Magazine Score: 54%
The third of the Doraemon games on N64, this goes back to being more of a Mario style platformer, only with absolutely no platforming challenge. There are plenty of jumps to make, but not a single one that you’ll struggle with in any way, not even in the big platforming “challenges” at the end of each world. The game is more about unlocking objects and using them in certain locations.
The unlock method is rather strange, though. All of the weapons and items are already in your inventory, just covered in goop. To unlock them, you collect spray cans that respawn whenever you re-enter an area, so that part of it is extremely trivial. The problem it causes, is that there are a lot of potential items to use with no indication of where you can even use objects. There’s some vague hints in the text, but it just means that trial and error is a very time consuming option.
The game overall is just quite boring. Enemies are very easy to shoot down, and even bosses are just a case of avoiding attacks while shooting as much as possible, so the entire game is just casually walking through levels, having to use very random items in very random locations. There are also multiple villages with some nice little areas, but once again, it’s just using items in odd ways. There’s not much to this one.
Fine
QuoteTehnically, Doraemon 3 is a pretty shameful affair. Attempts at digusising the horrendous pop-up have failed, and the textures are strikingly similar to Mario’s, only much worse. Your characters, although cute to look at, handle like wounded pigs, particularly when they get near water. Add to this a wobbly camera – a sure sign of a sloppy 3D platformer – and you get an unpleasant blend indeed.
Alan Maddrell, N64 Magazine #46
Remake or remaster?
Only in a comprehensive Doraemon game collection.
Official ways to get the game.
There’s no official way to get Doraemon 3
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Just started playing it and it's adorable.
I do have a few small niggles so far, the controls feel awkward (but I find that's a general Switch issue, I'm constantly hitting incorrect buttons) and I wish you could assign multiple echoes at once.
The graphics are also lovely, but the bloom at the entrance to areas is a bit overboard, you can barely see Zelda.
I do like the echo idea already, and it's nice to play a Zelda game in a different way.
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Carnivalé: Cenzo’s Adventure
- JP release: N/A
- NA release: N/A
- PAL release: N/A
- Developer: Terraglyph
- Publisher: Vatical
- N64 Magazine Score: N/A
The N64 didn’t get a lot of movie tie-in games, so it’s quite bizarre that this exists. The film (which you probably haven’t heard of) was directed by Deane Taylor, the art director for A Nightmare Before Christmas. It was about a group of children that end up in a mysterious haunted fairground, and get warned by a mysterious girl (played by Helena Bonham Carter) that if they don’t leave, they’ll be trapped and stuck as children for ever.
It got a limited release in Europe where it performed poorly, and the North American release was cancelled. The film has had extremely limited video releases, and the director isn’t bothered by it being mostly erased from existence. I did manage to find an English version (with a cropped image) and watched a few snippets, the characters sounded annoying.
The film tanking was, of course, bad news for the developers of the game (who were also making a Scooby Doo game for N64), as it meant the game getting cancelled. The game focused on one of the main kids – Cenzo (voiced by Hugh Laurie in the film), who is at least more of an interesting design than the other characters. You walk around the theme park (where the tents just look randomly placed) in order to collect coins to pay for attractions, getting a few weapons, and getting access to new areas. There’s not much platforming, though, it’s just walking around.
The main bulk of the game seems to be a kart racer. The controls are floaty and imprecise, and the weapons feel ineffective. The tracks are quite long, and largely flat and boring, even the more complicated ones. They are themed around different attractions – dodgems, a boat ride, a plane ride, a haunted house, and crocodiles. While your “kart” changes based on this, they don’t feel any different.
After you’ve beaten the three CPU racers, you then take on a single boss CPU. Beat them, and you can progress through the game. The hub world area is certainly a nice idea (Diddy Kong Racing used one really nicely), but the gameplay of it is just quite boring, and the enemies are more annoying than tough. Still, a kart racer probably would have been enough for the publishers, so they were trying to do something different.
The thing that does seem to be a tad more worrying regarding the game’s development, is that this really does seem to be most of what was planned. The five in this prototype were all of the ones that were going to be in the final game, and it seems the only thing missing was one or two more simple minigames. So while a nice idea, it would still have been extremely bare-bones. This looks and plays like a very early prototype, but seems to be close to being finished.
Worst
QuoteCarnivalés rides seem to play like Mario Kart – with weapons to pick up and employ against your CPU rivals – but the correndous 90° turns on some of the tracks would make for some truly frustrating racing. Hopefull, all will be clear by next month.
N64 Magazine #48
Should it be finished?
From the sounds of it, this prototype almost is finished, even though there isn’t a lot to show for it.
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Watched Vengeance Most Fowl tonight and it was great. Great that it told its own story rather than just relying on references.
And lots of lovely silly jokes like "how long have you been with us now?" "Since 9AM this morning". And did anyone else find the Ant and Dec joke to be far too funny for such a simple joke?
Ollie seemed to enjoy it as well, I like that he called the glove a hat before Feathers put it on.
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Mario Tennis
- JP release: 21st July 2000
- NA release: 28th August 2000
- PAL release: 3rd November 2000
- Developer: Camelot
- Publisher: Nintendo
- N64 Magazine Score: 91%
While this isn’t the first Tennis game bearing Mario’s name, Nintendo like to pretend that Mario’s Tennis on the Virtual Boy never existed (along with every other game on it) . This follows the same formula as Mario Golf – provide a great sports game that just happens to have Mario characters in it, rather than the more random and powerup-fuelled later Mario sports games.
And it really is a great tennis game. The characters have different kinds of swings, and you have a few basic shots. It’s not overly complicated, but it’s something you’ll enjoy playing for hours at a time. The only special moves are just stronger moves that require you to be positioned in advance, and that’s what makes is so great. There are a ton of courts to unlock by playing tournaments, and a good amount of characters, including newcomer Waluigi.
There’s also a few bonus modes, such as a mode where you have to hit the ball through rings and then win the point to score them, one where you have to return a ton of balls shot by piranha plants, and a bonus mode which is more like what you’d expect from Mario Tennis now – a tilting board with items to use. They’re all fun, and provide a great alternative way to play.
Mario Tennis is still incredibly good fun and still a great tennis game. There are some great little touches (such as seeing Lakitu fly away from a player after a close up), and a lot of charm that makes the game enjoyable without going crazy with the core gameplay.
Great
QuoteWhat makes the situation all the more surreal is that Mario Tennis is an absolutely fantastic game. Rather than just update Super Tennis, developers Camelot have created a new style of gameplay that is incredibly easy to pick up and offers experienced players greater shot-making subtlety than anything else available.
Martin Kitts, N64 Magazine #47
Remake or remaster?
A remake of this, combined with the Game Boy Colour’s RPG mode in 3D, would be amazing.
Official ways to get the game.
There is no way to buy a new copy of Mario Tennis, the only official way to play is to rent it via the Nintendo Switch Online + Expansion Pak.
Re-releases
2010: Wii Virtual Console
2015: Wii U Virtual Console
2021: Nintendo Switch Online (Subscription Only)
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The 2024 games that I've played: er.... nothing yet.
New to me games that I've loved: Getter Love: Panda Love Unit, Hey You Pikachu, Beetle Adventure Racing, Quake II 64, Shadow Man, Destruction Derby 64, Glover 2, Rayman 2, NBA Courtside 2, Rocket: Robot on Wheels, Custom Robo, Virtual Pro Wrestling 2, Excitebike 64, ISS 2000, Mario Artist Polygon Studio, Pokémon Puzzle League, Custom Robo V2, Mega Man 64, Dinosaur Planet, Bomberman 64 (Japan), Luigi's Mansion, NHL Hitz 2002, Pro Skater 3, SSX Tricky, Dark Summit, Lost Kingdoms and Ty the Tasmanian Tiger.
2024 games that are highest on my list of what I want to play are Echoes of Wisdom, Indiana Jones and the Great Circle, Dragon Age Veilguard and Sonic X Shadow Generations.
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13 minutes ago, martinist said:
It's the 24th and you're getting stuff now?
Like you open one on christmas eve then get the rest the next day? My family doesn't really do that.
We're heading to visit family later today and staying over untill boxing day, and there's five of us going in one car. So we decided to open stuff early so there is less to take. Ollie had had most of his as well (although he prefers my Banjo models, I had to show him the game as he wanted to know more about them).
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Merry Christmas N-Ers! Anyone doing anything fun or got anything good?
I'm off to my girlfriend's family this Christmas (I get on with them better than my own family) so we did our presents early.
I got some more Banjo-Kazooie transformation figures to complete my collection of regular transformations (I know there also adult T-Rex and Dragon Kazooie). Plus an N64 logo transformation.
I also got a Japanese snack box
And Echoes of Wisdom.
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Army Men: Air Combat
- NA release: 18th Julu 2000
- PAL release: N/A
- NA release: N/A
- Developer: The 3DO Company
- Publisher: The 3DO Company
- N64 Magazine Score: 83%
The Army Men games like to use different genres – starting with an RTS, then delving into 3rd person shooters, and now a vehicle shooter – but the green plastic style, lumped with the “living in a giant’s world” concept, keeps the games feeling like they belong together. Air Combat takes on the Desert Strike style of game, but keeps things simple.
But that simplicity is what makes Air Combat a lot of fun. Take the winch as an example: in Desert Strike, you have to carefully line it up to pick up objects. Here, you just lower the winch and it grabs onto anything, allowing you to move objects around with ease. The autoaim is also incredibly generous, although if you don’t pay enough attention, you may find yourself blowing up your own men.
Throughout the game you’ll steal some great looking weapons from the Tan Army – a tank, a UFO, a bear that shoots lasers out of his eyes… Sadly, you don’t get to use any of these (not even the UFO, which would work in a similar way to a helicopter), and it’s something that could have helped add a bit more variety into the game. Even so, it’s still a good laugh.
Fun
QuoteThe series’ trademark sense of humour is thankfully backed up by some decent gameplay. The difficulty curve is such that you’ll easily pick up the controls, but it can soon become so frantic that you’ll run into problems after completing just a couple of the 16 missions.
Alan Maddrell, N64 Magazine #46
Remake or remaster?
A remastered Army Men collection would be great.
Official ways to get the game.
There’s no official way to get Army Men: Air Combat.
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The first version of the PC port of Star Fox 64 is out (it currently does not support Lylat Wars).
So far, it pretty much has the game running authentically with a few minor graphical upgrades: higher resolution, widescreen, not using LOD models, keeping characters heads in their ship during gameplay and things like that. It feels pretty good. It also has various cheats (you can enable expert mode form the word go if you want), a level select and some bug fixes (although you can choose not to use them if you prefer).
Hopefully over time they'll be optional stuff such as adjusting fog/draw distance, texture packs, higher quality audio (the original recordings were recovered at some point, there's a romhack for the 3DS version that uses them), but definitely a good start.
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I was going to spend 2025 playing GameCube games (and if I somehow make it though those, do Zelda games), but this Timmy situation is too concerning.
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StarCraft 64
- NA release: 30th June 2000
- PAL release: 25th May 2001 (AU only)
- NA release: N/A
- Developer: Blizard, Mass Media
- Publisher: Nintendo
- N64 Magazine Score: 78%
StarCraft is a big name in PC RTS games. The previous RTS port to the N64 tried to play to the console’s strength by completely recreating the levels in 3D, but StarCraft 64 takes a different approach, being a more direct port of the original PC game and the Brood War expansion.
For N64 owners at the time, this was a great way to play StarCraft, but it also means that there’s not much reason to try out the N64 version now. The controls are well done, and feel more intuitive than Command & Conquer, with easy access to build menus, and the R button allowing for easy selection of units, but it’s more a case that it works well enough for the N64, rather than a fully tailored experience.
But, while it doesn’t have anything unique about it, it’s not really a negative, as this provides the full StarCraft experience on a cartridge, and StarCraft is one of the all time RTS greats, with a detailed campaign with a gripping story and variation, as the game works well with just a few units or hundreds of units.
Fun
QuoteIt’s laziness, pure and simple. Blizzard could have spent two years cooking up a real-time strategy game specifically for the N64, perhaps one that carefully utilised the unique specialities of the console. Instead, we get Starcraft. A conversion of a PC game, and a two-year olf PC game at that.
Mark Green, N64 Magazine #45
Remake or remaster?
There’s an extremely well done remaster of Starcraft, keeping the core game exactly the same, and updating the graphics to be a cleaner version of the original style.
Official ways to get the game.
There’s no official way to get the N64 specific version of StarCraft 64, but the original PC version is available on Battle.net for free, with the Remastered version also available to buy.
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Mario Artist Communication Kit
- JP release: 29th June 2000
- PAL release: N/A
- NA release: N/A
- Developer: Nintendo
- Publisher: Nintendo
- N64 Magazine Score: N/A
There’s not a lot that can be done with this software now, the main use for this was sharing your Mario Artist creations over Randnet. Without the internet, its main use is as a file management tool, providing a way to move data across the different Mario Artist games (although you could still swap discs for loading files within each game).
It does include a number of files made by Nintendo staff, that can be sent to the various Mario Artist disks to use and modify as you see fit. I am curious how many creations had been uploaded to Randnet before the service was shut down, and all the work lost. It also seemed that you were limited to the spaces across the various game disks themselves, as no blank disks were sold for additional storage.
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Remake or remaster?
There are fans trying to restore Randnet services, called Randnet+, which would be great to see.
Official ways to get the game.
There’s no official way to get Mario Artist Communication Kit.
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Indy Racing 2000
- NA release: 7th June 2000
- PAL release: N/A
- JP release: N/A
- Developer: Paradigm
- Publisher: Infogrames
- N64 Magazine Score: N/A
I don’t know a great deal of Indy Racing, but from what I can figure out, it seems to be a racing event using Formula 1 cars (or one of the lower powered kinds) on short ring tracks. Indy Racing 2000 takes an arcade spin on this, with easy handling and generous collision.
And the generosity with the collisions is quite vital. The races begin with a rolling start, with a great sense of speed. However, it’s absolutely chaotic, with cars slamming into each other and spinning like crazy. This makes for an intense start of the race, which is far more exciting than the end, as the easy handling on the simple tracks means that there isn’t much to do.
But it seems that that section of the game (which consists of “single race” and “championship”) is just one portion of Indy Racing 2000. On the menu is a “Gold Cup” which is nearly dismissed as just a different kind of tournament to the championship. I was pleasantly surprised, then, that this is actually a very significant – and pretty great – separate mode. Almost a different game.
Here you work through different kinds of racing cars, from midget cars to sprint cars to Formula cars. However, the simple ring tracks are gone, and replaced with far more interesting tracks. They’re still nice and wide, but they feature some lovely background landscapes with some fun features like jungles and shipwrecks, and are a ton of fun for racing on.
It’s rather baffling that these tracks aren’t available in the single race option, as it would be nice to pick a track to race on. Still, it’s interesting that the best mode of the game is pushed down as a little bonus. If you like racing games that try to blend serious and arcade elements, this is a good example.
Fun
Remake or remaster?
A simple re-release to make it available in more regions would be fine.
Official ways to get the game.
There’s no official way to get Indy Racing 2000
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I got a Steam Deck in Jan.
It was mainly for my girlfriend, though, and it doesn't track UPlay games (she's mainly been playing Assassin's Creed games). My PC has mainly been used for emulation.
Quake II was for the remaster of the N64 version.
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Riqa
- PAL release: N/A
- NA release: N/A
- JP release: N/A
- Developer: Bits Studios
- Publisher: Bits Studios
- N64 Magazine Score: N/A
Riqa was a game that was shrouded in mystery for quite a while. It was one of Bits Studios three big N64 projects. The other two – Die Hard and Thieves World – both ended up being relaunched into GameCube projects, while Riqa was fully cancelled, with only a few screenshots in magazines to show for it. However, in 2024 a developer uploaded some prototypes onto the internet, so we can finally see what it was like. Now that I’ve played it, it’s a massive shame it was cancelled.
Selecting the first level (which I don’t think was supposed to be the first level), it has one of the three main characters – Riqa – assaulting an enemy base. At first, I kept dying pretty much immediately until I got used to the controls, which feel surprisingly modern. Movement is similar to a 3D platformer (no tank controls), moving in relation to the camera while the c-buttons move the camera. Hold R to lock on and you’ll change into strafe mode, which lets you evade enemy fire. Once I had this down, the game became a lot of fun.
Going into the secret underground base, I was able to test out a few laser types for your blaster, including a cool shot that splits into three and ricochets off the walls multiple times. On top of the regular goons, there were also some little spider robots and some turrets. I opened a few ways with buttons and activated some machinery, but ended up not having anywhere to go. It’s difficult to know if I’m just missing something or it’s just not finished in a prototype, but there was a machine, a busted control panel, and an NPC I couldn’t interact with, so I suspect that had something to do with it.
Level 2 is a very detailed tutorial explaining how the various aspects of the game works, including grabbing ledges, and explaining that holding R to strafe also means that you can’t walk off platforms, with the negative of making your jump shorter. While locked on, you can also use the C-buttons to target special areas (for shooting switches), or line up your next target. We also get snippets of the main story. Your mission is to give a warning to a warlord that an assassin is after him. However, he has already received a message saying that, with the description of Riqa as the assassin, so you have to kill all his men (or, optionally, stun) to let him know the truth.
The area gets attacked, and there seem to be a few side quests in the game, as a prisoner asks you to deliver a letter to their mum, and there are some hidden emblems dotted around the level. There’s supposed to be a boss outside, but he never turns up.
The next level that works has a load of electrical fences, although I had to just jump on top (and get damaged) to get past them. I can’t find much to interact with here, so again, I may be missing something, or that’s all that’s done at this point.
Another level puts you in control of a new character – Kane – although he felt the same as Riqa. This mission involves going down a mine and avoiding sawblade machinery. I got a door opened and couldn’t progress any further – once again, there seemed to be an NPC that may have opened the way.
Kane also had a working boss, a giant mining robot where you had to shoot the tanks on the back of it, although the game crashed when I shot one off. That was it for the latest prototype, but I decided to check out earlier ones.
The earliest prototype is a small square room, and puts you in control of the final character, called Tak’ on the menu (with the apostrophe). You can blow up a statue of yourself, but that’s it. The movement still feels the same, and still fun to move around.
Another prototype loaded empty voids until I got to level 6, where I got a very different kind of level – a village hub world of sorts. There’s no jumping or shooting here, and the NPCs make references to terrorists that you defeated, so it sounds like you liberated them, so they can go about their lives. Some hidden chests contain credits for spending money.
The buildings on the left have a few shops and restaurants, along with an underground area connecting the two, with some teenagers complaining that the place is boring without the terrorists. The buildings on the right contain what seems to be a hotel lobby and a giant lift under construction. The building at the end of the street is a large office for the mayor of the town.
It really does seem like Bits Studios nailed the core mechanics of the game, such as the shooting and movement, which also includes a slide that feels great to use. There are different ammo types, different armours, and secondary weapons such as grenades and tripwires. It all feels surprisingly modern, and I think this could have been something special – it just needed a game around it.
Fun
QuoteWe’re stuck with that single, non-explanatory picture, but – if everything goes according to plan – we should have something tasty for you in N64/42.
N64 Magazine #41
(Things did not go according to plan)
Should it be finished?
I’m curious enough by the design of the characters that I’d like to know more about them, and find out what story the game would have had.
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There's something very....late Arrowverse about that trailer, especially with the costumes/designs of the additional characters.
So Clark is inspired by Frodo and Superman is inspired by Kelvin McCoy. Meanwhile, Luthor is a mix of Shinzon of Remus and Agent 47.
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Belgium doesn't deserve that much credit, it's just an anti-video game law rather than something to protect people - that kind of predatory stuff is still allowed in kids toys (and is quite rampant in it, using all kinds of addictive tactics to increase sales). Any laws regarding loot boxes should apply to the sales method in all mediums, not just video games.
I think the main problem Balatro faces is how it has specific poker hands in it, so it has to tell you how they work. PEGI are being a bit too strict on this, really. For lootboxes, with various governments saying that they're not that big a problem (like the UK), they can't really decide for themselves that they're harmful. They don't need to accept bribes as, unfortunately, the law protects lootboxes in this manner. It's all that PEGI don't want to face a likely pricy lawsuit where they have to prove the harm caused by lootboxes to win.
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PGA European Tour Golf
- PAL release: 29th May 2000
- NA release: 15th June 2000
- JP release: N/A
- Developer: Infogrames
- Publisher: Infogrames
- N64 Magazine Score: 80%
Another Golf game, this one has four courses, and is otherwise very unremarkable. It has a few different ways to swing, with a traditional power bar method or an analogue stick swing like CyberTiger. What I found baffling was that the target line shows the ideal shot, but there’s no indication as to where on the power bar you should aim for. I either massively overshot or undershot on every hit, not figuring out how to accurately aim the ball.
Putting was also even worse for this, sometimes a 25% power shot will send the ball flying off the other side of the green, while a 50% shot will have the ball fall very short. It’s just a rather tedious golf game that doesn’t come close to Mario Golf, which strangely remains the best “serious” golf game on the system.
Poor
QuoteWhile PGA European Tour wouldn’t last five minutes in the PC market, where the only thing people want from their golf games is photo-realism, it has the depth of gameplay underneath its ugliness to make it a viable choice on the N64. We had fun testing it out in the office which is a lot more than we can say for Waialae Country Club and the dysmal, Jap-only Glory of St. Andres. Of course, there’s no way we’d recommend it over Mario Golf, but if you’ve played that to death and you’re looking for a playable alternative, it’s really the only other option.
Martin Kitts, N64 Magazine #38
Remake or remaster?
There are better golf games.
Official ways to get the game.
There’s no official way to get PGA European Tour Golf.
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My attempt at starting up exercise again earlier this year went well.
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I tried my best to like this, but the item management just frustrated me far too much. I understand having limited space for all the stuff related to survival, but for the puzzle items, it causes a lot of extra backtracking (and backtracking is already an issue without this anyway, I hate it when movement isn't enjoyable).
I ended up throwing in the towel.
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International Track & Field 2000
- NA release: 28th May 2000
- JP release: 13th July 2000
- PAL release: 2nd September 2000
- Developer: Konami
- Publisher: Konami
- N64 Magazine Score: 86%
While Mario & Sonic took over for a while, the original Track & Field is probably still the most iconic game themed around Olympic sports. This is quite simply an N64 version of the button-mashing classic, although it has a lovely presentation, with the events looking like a professional sports event being shown on TV. Everything looks pretty good and the transitions are great.
I did, however, find it odd regarding which buttons were chosen to be mashed together – namely C-Left and C-Right rather than two buttons next to each other. It’s quite a distance to move your thumb over for repeatedly mashing, especially against the CPU players. You might think about using two thumbs, but even then you need to awkwardly have your finger on the Z button as well. Even mapping the buttons in a few different ways, I failed at absolutely every task due to how difficult the CPU is, coming last in everything except hammer throw, where I came 10th.
Where this game really would have shone was the multiplayer, as now everyone is on a level playing field, feeling the same exertion and RSI as a result of the button combinations needed. There, mistakes can be laughed at more as well, as the game poorly indicates when you need to stop running to make a throw or jump, and the changing camera angles make it even more difficult to judge.
Fun
QuoteAs a multiplayer laugh-fest, International Track & Field gets the tumbs up. It’s incredbly polished – it looks wonderful, running in hi-res with an expansion pak, and the replays (complete with motion blur) are superb. The defiantly ‘old-skool’ (ahem) gameplay may be the simplest you’ll ever experience, but it just goes to show what a winning formula Konami came up with all those years ago – and they’ve done their legacy proud.
Jes Bickham, N64 Magazine #41
Remake or remaster?
With Mario & Sonic and the latest Tokyo Olympic game, this genre is well covered.
Official ways to get the game.
There’s no official way to get International Track & Field 2000
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Taz Express - All N64 Games
in General Gaming Discussion
Posted
Taz Express
At this point in the N64’s life, more and more third party companies were moving away from the Nintendo 64, some didn’t even think that they could even recoup the cost of printing cartridges, let alone development. This is most likely why Taz Express was cancelled in North America, making it one of the few PAL exclusive N64 games. And it’s absolutely terrible.
The biggest issue with Taz Express is movement. While Taz is known for just spinning on the spot and moving around with ease while spinning, that isn’t the case here. Instead, you start off slow and have to run a significant distance to build up speed. If you steer more than a few degrees, then your momentum will stop and you’ll have to start again, and even moving from one polygon to another (on a flat surface) can stop Taz dead in his tracks. The biggest issue with this is that Taz can only spin once he’s built up enough momentum, which is required to break specific walls (easily identifiable by the stretched textures).
Once you do spin, you lose a lot of control, as Taz wobbles from side to side as you move forward, so you really only want to spin right before hitting a wall. The game makes this an absolute nightmare, and I ended up giving up out of frustration on a part filled with cacti and jump platforms (if you get close to one of these, Taz will decide to walk on them and you’ll be thrown to the start of the section). As the jump platforms teleport between different locations, you have to run without turning much, while also timing it for multiple things at once. You can eat food to spin sooner, but it really doesn’t help much. This game is designed specifically to annoy you.
But I haven’t even talked about the main aim of the game. Taz’s wife, She-Devil, has forced him to get a job. I find it interesting that they went with a character that was last used in the cartoons in 1957, instead of tying it in to the much more recent Taz-Mania cartoon. He ends up having to deliver a solitary crate to its destination, and naturally a lot of things get in the way. While holding a crate, Taz can’t jump and he can’t run, so you must slowly walk, and a lot of the game is about clearing the way forward, returning to the crate and slowly walking to the next section.
To make it more annoying, you can’t just leave the crate anywhere, as many levels have enemies that will attack the crate while it’s unattended. There are some “safe” tiles where you can store the crate, but I’ve still had crates destroyed while there. If it takes a few hits, you’ll lose a life and it will appear at the last safe tile you used, although there are plenty of levels that avoid placing these tiles, so you have to risk leaving the crate unattended. One level also ends with spilling about 30 other crates that you have to pick up, one at a time, until you get the right one. This adds zero challenge, it’s just there to frustrate you.
I found one positive thing about Taz Express: after blasting back to Earth from Mars, Wile E Coyote takes the crate and you have to get it back. Here, the level is a long, mostly straight repeating road, letting you get to a very high speed. Once it gets going, it does a great job at making you feel like Road Runner. I’m not sure if that’s exactly a compliment for a game where you play as Taz, but it was the only fun level.
Once you finally finish the game, there’s a plot twist: the crate was actually a present for Taz, containing a costume. This lets you play through the game again, except there are now tiles to use the costume in a minigame. You’ll have to complete the game five times to see everything, which is rather ridiculous padding that Sonic Heroes would be proud of.
Some terrible games can still be entertaining to play, while Taz Express has terrible mechanics and is also immensely boring. It’s frustrating to play, and possibly the most miserable N64 game, without even taking account how poorly this uses the main character’s abilities.
Worst
Remake or remaster?
No.
Official ways to get the game.
There’s no official way to get Taz Express.