Its funny, we had a similar disagreement when we were discussing BotW. I think you ended up winning that argument, because when I pointed out that you can just go and try your luck on the end boss (thus justifying the need to 'level up' in the world first), you said you did, and you beat it.
Now if you did that in Elden Ring you'd really be showing off.
However to give you some credit, I had doubts when I was just out in that first open world section. As you highlight, I was just running about in the open world, riding away from areas I found too hard, and just doing the 'easy' bits. This weakened the experience, along with other doubts that were starting to seed. Where the game really came together for me was that first proper dungeon, the first checkpoint and first 'wall'. I implore you before you give up on this game to ride up to the gates of Stormveil Castle, and try your luck. I won't say anymore, but please come back to us if you do try it and let us know whether your opinion changed.