Posted September 5, 2006 (edited) Deleteded. Edited February 3, 2014 by MoogleViper Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 5, 2006 I'm not to keen on "like a fish through a lake" it does not seem right to me. Also i think the arrow noise is a bit wrong. Since Edward dosn't know the arrow is coming you could have something like Unseen whispers approached, drawing closer untill *hits shield* (can't think of a good onomatopeia), I looked up the faint moonlight showed a barrage of arrows coming towards me. I tried my best to block them but... Is this for English? or just a story your doing in your spare time? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 5, 2006 I'm not to keen on "like a fish through a lake" it does not seem right to me. Also i think the arrow noise is a bit wrong. Since Edward dosn't know the arrow is coming you could have something likeUnseen whispers approached, drawing closer untill *hits shield* (can't think of a good onomatopeia), I looked up the faint moonlight showed a barrage of arrows coming towards me. I tried my best to block them but... Is this for English? or just a story your doing in your spare time? Just in my spare time. And I'm not to keen on the arrow noises. But I couldn't think of anything else. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 5, 2006 THWIP is good for an arrow, FZZT sounds kinda like a taser. Sorry but I'm way too tired for any better comments than that. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
