Charlie Posted January 9, 2011 Share Posted January 9, 2011 My group of friends and I have been 'together' since around 5th year at school and since then we try to go on a Summer holiday together every single year, a few of us live together and we see each other all the time. However, recently one of the group has started acting up a bit. Whether this is a new thing or if it's just the rest of us have started noticing it and talking about it. On holiday June 2009 in Zante this guy would always pick on the 'easy targets' to make fun of at any possible occaision. He would be extremely abrasive and never back down in any slight altercation; on this holiday there were a number of arguments - every single one of them involved him for one reason or another. Now, obviously on a lads holiday on the nights out a lot of the fun is in trying to get with girls. This is the one guy in the group who will never ever get with girls and as he tries harder and harder it just gets worse and worse. It gets to the point where he, when talking to a group of girls, he'll make fun of his mates and try to belittle us to get with the girls. On holiday this year we decided that he must be trying to get rid of the competition, so to speak. He told these girls that one of our group, Steve, had a girlfriend when he was talking and getting on well with this girl. He obviously said he didn't (he doesn't, he was texting someone), he told these girls that I was a slut and just use girls (no comment on the slut part), then the worst part was he told the girls that his dad was important and is a TV presenter (which is true) and that this other guy still lives at home because he can't afford to move out and that his mum works in a supermarket to try and put him down. Unsurprisingly, all these girls thought he was a dick and just left us. Getting rejected by a girl doesn't bother me; obviously its going to happen a lot on a night out on the pull but the manner this happened annoyed all of us. Where's the need to put your mates down and try and look like (what seems to me, the way he did it) the only option left? At the end of the holiday he had the cheek to say that "really surprising there haven't been any arguments or fall outs!". At this point the rest of us just looked at each other in disbelief. There had been a lot of them and EVERY SINGLE ONE was because of him. Since this holiday in June there's been a lot of bitching about him and to be perfectly honest I think it is absolutely, 100% justified. He can't handle his drink, he regularly takes the piss out of his friends (and not in a banterous way, taking things far too far), he'll never back down and admit he's wrong even when given proof, he's a liability on a night out, he's argumentative for no reason. We were away skiing a week or so ago and things started boiling up. Long story short, due to a game we were playing I had to stay up all night without sleeping or had to do some forfeit. This guy said i should just do the forfeit now as I was obviously going to fail. I didn't want to because I hadn't failed it yet (even though I undoubtedly would). This guy went mental, screaming and shouting across the table, I started ignoring him because he wouldn't let up. He then came around the table and tried to shove me off my chair. So, the vast majority of the group have accepted he's a dick and don't want to be friends with him anymore but because he's been part of the group since the start a good 5 or 6 years ago people are finding it hard to not be friends with him. Some people don't see him that much and don't realise this stuff. We're trying to organise a holiday for the Summer and we're under mixed opinions as to what to do. He's away on Erasmus for the year so we don't see him at Uni or anything. Our options are: 1) Tell him we don't want him to come with us (this will have major repurcussions due to us seeing him loads and having loads of other mutual friends etc) 2) Book a holiday and don't tell him (same as above, but possibly worse for going behind his back) 3) Let him come with us (why should we go on holiday with someone who we know is going to be a prick the whole time?) So NE, what is the advice on what to do here? Option 1, 2 or 3? Or an alternative? Sorry for going on a slight tangent but it's good to get an outsiders' perspective on matters! I'm not blowing things out of proportion or anything; the boy is a wanker and a lot of us agree on that. Yeah, we're bitching about him a lot but after all he's done I think it's only right that we should blow off some steam and say it how it is. You can't dress things up and pretend everything is fine when it clearly isn't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ryuk Posted January 9, 2011 Author Share Posted January 9, 2011 hey charlie, it sounds like you guys have done your best to cope with him, I would pick the 1st option, he needs to relise his behavior is not accaptable telling him your going on a holiday and not inviting him will make him relise that.. I have a friend who does exactly what you discribed, I didn't speak to him for a good few months cuz of his attiude.. So book your holiday do NOT tell him where because I bet he'll book himself and try and follow you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beast Posted January 9, 2011 Share Posted January 9, 2011 I know somebody like that and all I can say is that if he's causing you that much upset and stress, do you really want someone like that in your life? Has there been a death in the family or has something happened to him or has he just changed because he's a total douche? If you know for a fact nothing bad has happened and that he's just being like that to cause trouble, I wouldn't speak to him again. It's bad that he goes around bad-mouthing you to strangers, I find that really bad, especially if you hadn't done anything to the guy to attack like that. I wouldn't take him on holiday and I wouldn't tell him where because, as Ryuk said, he may try and follow you and spoil your holiday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MoogleViper Posted January 9, 2011 Share Posted January 9, 2011 I would talk to him first without mentioning the holiday. Explain why people are annoyed with him. And make sure to remember specific examples. If you forget them then he'l just think you're being a dick. Oh and probably not best to tell him on your own, he'll think it's just you being a dick. See how he reacts to this before deciding on what to do about the holiday. Chances are he doesn't realise he's been a dick and will be ok about it after a while. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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