Friends and Mates

[Beast]

So this thread is about friends (yeah, I know the title says it) but there are different kinds of friends. Good friends, bad friends, dramatic friends, bullshitting friends, funny friends, moody friends...etc. What type of friends do you have?

 

I guess I'm having a little gripe and a moan heren so I'm going to put a spoiler tag because this next part is very long:

 

So let me catch you all up to speed: I don't know if you'll remember this but I fell out with a group of my friends quite a few months back? I fell out with most of them in July (specifically Mate 2) because of some bad shit. Well, in December, one of them came into my place of work, apologised and then invited me to go out with the group because it was Christmas and they wanted me there. I was kind of hesitant at first but then thought "Well, he apologised, I guess" so I said I'd go and I'd forgive and forget everything but my one condition was that there'd be no more playground shit. I went out with them anyway and we had a good time and stuff and everything was cool. Everything was cool right up until last week and I feel like I've made a mistake talking to them again and I think it's my fault because, like an idiot, I trusted them again.

 

So I told Mate 1 that I was talking to someone from New York and we liked each other and I wanted his advice on it and I told him to not say anything because I didn't want shit like that broadcasted. He promised me he wouldn't say anything and everything was cool. Then about four days later, Mate 1 and Mate 2 kind of had a heated discussion and then Mate 2 said "When someone tells you something and tells you to keep it to yourself, don't shout it out to everybody". This kind of had me curious and I asked them both what they meant by that. Mate 1 said that Mate 3 told 1 and 2 that I fancied someone on the Xbox (which isn't true). Mate 2 said that I was talking to someone online so I went to Mate 1 and asked if he said anything other than that and he said no.

 

So later on, me and Mate 3 were playing on the Xbox and I can't remember how the conversation came up but he mentioned that I was dating a New Yorker. I said "Wait, what do you mean?" and he said that he was told by Mate 1 that I was dating someone from New York. I just said that we were just friends and nothing more but we really like talking to each other so I thought it was a good opportunity to bring up this Xbox lark and I asked him what that was all about. He said he thought that I liked someone on there because I hang out with them alot. I said "Nah, I'm friends with a set of people I play. They either have kids or they're married and I'm also mates with their husbands. Either way, I'd NEVER go there".

 

So anyway, I've not confronted Mate 1 about lying to me and spreading something in confidence and I don't think I will. So me and Mate 2 was talking the day before and told me what everybody was saying. Mate 2 is many things but he doesn't lie and I know that so I believe him when he tells me this. I set him straight and tell him everything. I said I'm friends with a New Yorker, I don't fancy anybody on the Xbox whatsoever and I'm also interested in a girl who lives nearby.

 

So me and Mate 2 spoke yesterday and for some reason, doesn't believe anything I say so when the "girl who lives nearby" thing was brought up, he called me a bullshitter. I said "Why am I bullshitting? Is it that hard to believe there's actually a girl who likes me?" and he said "No, it's because something happens every time we talk" (which is an exaggeration). I said "It doesn't, I just want to share news with my friends, whether it was something that happened to me or something funny that happened at work". The conversation went on and then we stopped talking about it and I just left the conversation pretty annoyed, really.

 

I feel like I made a mistake in trusting them and I feel like we're back to square one and that we're in the school playground again and, I'm not going to lie, it's depressing, especially when trust was there and then it's broken. Now I just sit here wondering whether it was better I didn't speak to them. Mate 3 isn't that bad as he wasn't that involved in it, he just thought I fancied someone but it's still the fact he never asked me. And yeah, I do realise how immature and school-playground-drama this sounds which is something I don't want at all and something I can't be bothered with which is why I'm wondering how I get out of it, what to do and how to get out of it. I know I can never trust them again so is it worth being their friend still?

 

So sorry to drone on with such Hollyoaks shit, guys, but it's been playing on my mind. We've been friends for seven years and everything was cool right up until last year when everything just went south. Now I don't know what to do. I kind of don't want to talk to them again but then we do have good times. I need some N-E love and advice! How would you guys back out of something like this? Should I back out? I kind of want to...

 

 

On the plus side, I do have another set of friends and they're absolutely fantastic. We all met through the Xbox and they're honestly the nicest set of people I've ever met and we talk every night and it's nice because when I'm not on the Xbox, they phone me up and talk to me and it's a nice feeling that there's a friend out there who wants to talk to you. The trouble is, they live in Liverpool and Chester so we live far from one another. We're planning on meeting very soon so I can't wait when that happens. We were supposed to meet in two weeks' time but I can't get the time off work, which I'm gutted about but hopefully we can meet in the Summer or something.

 

Do any of you guys have any friends like this? Any good friends? Any bad? Any as dramatic as what I've just said (it'll take some beating, hahaha).

Edited March 10, 2013 by Animal

[Jim]

My group of mates is basically the show "the league"... it's tied together by sport and constantly hanging shit on each other.

[Jon]

I was following it until mate 3 was mentioned, then my head exploded.

[Beast]

I was following it until mate 3 was mentioned, then my head exploded.

 

Yeah, I got the same feeling, lmao. I think I'm just literally going to start to back out until there's not a lot of contact anymore...