Nintendork Posted September 25, 2006 Posted September 25, 2006 And another four of Uwe Boll's critics explode in a supernova of cottage-cheese flab, including Rich 'Lowtax' Kyanka of Something Awful, whom — the BBC reports — "was punched so hard his whole family died." Depressing. But not surprising that a trained boxer could beat the ever loving crap out of a gangly group of atrophied dorks. Perhaps the better contest would have been to see who could direct the best video game movie. Somehow, despite the fact that Uwe is as 'trained' a director as a boxer, I imagine that any one of these sunken-chest amateurs could have outclassed House of the Dead, even while limited to an Ed Wood like budget. You know what, Uwe? I, Florian Eckhardt, challenge you to a fight. Any time, any place. But it's not going to be one of your little sissy matches. It's Dublin street rules, baby. If you're not familiar with them, the fight starts with me swinging a drained pint glass as hard as I can into the side of your face. It ends with me pushing my thumbs through your eyes until I get squidges of brain underneath my fingernails. Although I suspect in your case, upon puncturing your retinas, I'd find my thumbs twiddling in a not-too-surprising vacuum concavity of skull. Florian Eckhardt Uwe Boll has taken a lot of shit, I'm suprised someone didn't end up dead. There are some amusing videos of lowtax running off after just a minute of ownage.
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