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The Bard

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Posts posted by The Bard

  1. Reckon you'll be staying together or will that be it? And presumably you mean Pakistan right?


    At least you'll have epic goodbye sex. Oh yehhh.


    Yeah, but it's a little different with this one - I've known her since she was three and we've been really close for ages, so even if the relationship stuff fizzles we've still got that to hang back on.


    Don't know where to drop by next on the ethnic pussy sample dish. Might just throw a dart at a map and go marauding :heh:.

  2. @bryanee Have you been through Cognitive Behaviour Therapy? I get the feeling if you're having trouble with invasive, shitty thoughts, that could help a lot.


    Been with my girl for a year and a half and she's leaving to move back to the motherland in approx. three weeks (after her Masters finishes). I feel like this is a recurrent narrative in my life; get with exotic asian chick, they leave, rinse, repeat.

  3. Berserk darts are all you really need for an assassination. Just hit the target from a distance and let his own guards do the rest.


    Yeah but it's hilarious when two guards are having a really emphatic discussion and you berzerk one. Usually the other guard slays his buddy, who he was just talking to about correct technique for beating slaves or whatever, and then goes over to chill in the corner. Makes no fucking sense.

  4. I had a lot of fun with Playstation AllStars when I gave it a swing with Ashley and Daft. The only other game I've played on that list is Joe Danger which is rad. Also heard sportsfriends is a really good party game. So looking like a pretty good month for me. Not sure what Velocity 2X or TxK are about though.

  5. I think they're (Amusement Vision/ the team that make Yakuza) still headed by notorious orange faced goblin Toshihiro Nagoshi. I'm amazed every time I see that guys face in a magazine that he's managed to cultivate a moustache that can only be described as feminine.

  6. Sounds like you did alright. Also it wasn't much of a bender this time, I hadn't eaten anything all day and had about 6 hours of sleep between the last two nights so I was ruined after two or three cans of Scrumpy. Then we bought some Sherry. I was a shambolic mess by the end of the night.


    @Goron_3 That's actually a top idea, the SD card should be here by tomorrow so I'll get on Project M...might actually have decent chops by the time I get to play you guys again.

  7. I felt rougher than a badger's arsehole Saturday morning. Late night kebab was a mistake. Thought I was going to get some sleep on the train but it was completely full and ended up standing all the way to Birmingham.


    Sounds like the worst thing ever man, how the fuck was a Birmingham train full on Saturday at like 7:30? Bet you wouldn't even have needed an excuse to sleep though the cricket though eh?


    Also you left your copy of Brawl here, swing by and pick it up next time you're in town!

  8. Well I just got the 34878-0 Error on my brand new PS4 and I can't start any of my games. Have had to re-initialise the whole fucking hunk of junk which took two hours, and then I remembered that PSN is down so I can't even download any of my games again. Sort it aht Sony!

  9. Dishonored was dope, one of my favourites last gen, but not sure what they're playing at making it free for a weekend. You can easily finish it in that amount of time, and there's no incentive to return, whereas with a grind heavy loot based multiplayer game like Borderlands, I can see the point in giving out a little something to get people hooked.

  10. Lots of interest but I'm intimidated by not knowing anything about MOBAs and the way the Idle Thumbs guys talk about it, it seems that you need to spend ~ 100 hours playing the game before you can even decide whether you like it or not. But that's no reason not to try it, I don't want to be the friend that orders the exact same plate of chicken chow mein every time you eat out.


    tl;dr I'll give it a shot if you show me the ropes.

  11. Like others on here, I was burned by the travesty that was Assassins Creed III. I was reluctant to play this one but many have said this is a return to form and so far I would have to agree.


    I'm only on sequence 3 ( I think ) but i've probably already had more fun on this than on the third game.


    I never played three so I hadn't experienced the ship combat, but I lost my shit the second the game loaded up into that storm. I know being amazed at the water in a game is sort of a cliche but here it was more about the way it affected your ship and the gameplay than how it looked.


    Just bought Freedom Cry, as good an excuse as any to install the game again :D.

  12. I preordered Metro 2033 Redux, already played Last Light on PC and I doubt there'd be any real difference between the original on max settings and the redux version. Tried to go back to 2033 after Last Light though and it was pretty much unplayable, it'll really benefit from the systems and models of the sequel.


    It's great they're coming to PS4, Last Light especially is a really, really beautiful game.

  13. It's just a token way of communicating a level of affection in a text, especially since with that format you don't have much opportunity for nuance. Literally every time I forget to put an x after a message my girlfriend assumes I'm being pissy; there's a difference between "Ok." and "Ok x." The second one is a way of saying that you're not being short, it's just that it's a fucking text and you can't be bothered crafting a sonnet to describe your manner of agreement in the worlds most clumsy method of communication outside of drunken office party charades.

  14. Since when are Empire an authority on anything? The way these lists usually work is the editors each submit a top ten list. The positions on the list are heirarchised by point values which then go towards that game's overall score when everyone's lists are compiled. Basically they're an aggregate of a magazine staff's favourite games which makes them meaningless because they don't look at games as a personal experience nor do they rank them by cultural impact. They're some indeterminate place in between.


    tl;dr lists are wank, we all know what games are going to be on them, so their relative positions are just an excuse for someone somewhere on the internet to flare up in herpes-like righteous indignation.


    Also Brawl was the Phantom Menace of videogames.

  15. Coincidentally, that last trailer was the one to tip me over into the fuck yes take my money category. Creative Assembly actually have an amazing pedigree as well, unlike Gearbox who've never done anything truly great. Colour me sexually aroused.