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Coolness Bears

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  4. Posted · Edited by Coolness Bears

    I here some people going mental in the middle of supermarket and shout:

     

    "YOU CAN'T JUST TOUCH OTHER PEOPLE'S FOOD!"

     

    and proceed to mash his mums food on the conveyor belt whilst going Bellllllelglellgelghhhh really loudly.

     

    ...or maybe that's me. :p

     

    Yes @MagnusDon't worry, I've taken my meds. :heh:

  15. Posted

    I'm really utterly terrified of even minor changes, like even a road diversion if I've never been down that route before. I used to have extremely angry temper tantrums as a teen for no reason.

     

    Minor changes are horrible, like how do you explain to your supervisor that you don't like the fact that she is wearing a different shirt that you aren't used to (white with black swans) and that you will feel odd around her for the rest of the day because of it?

     

    As for the phone I don't go near it, I have to get my mum to make the call for me. It will take me weeks to send an E-mail before I have enough courage to send it. My mobile is always on silent as the ringing noise terrifies me.

     

    I really don't like talking about this though as I feel like I'm indulging in it as there are others with much worse problems than me but it's still a struggle.

     

    This which is why for my first year at university I didn't seek any help I didn't want to have it as an "excuse" as I've seen people use these things as an excuse when it's just laziness. I felt that it was cheating but when I finally did get help at University my tutor she explained to me that it's not cheating its helping me to get back to the "normal" level so I'm on the same plain as everyone else work wise. She was fantastic help and I wish I had gone to her sooner, I would've done much better as a result.

     

    One of the most embarrassing things is being unable to tie your own shoelace and have your own nephew come up to you for you to tie his and having to say that you can't.

     

     

     

    :)

  17. Posted

    One of the standard tests used for autism (of which aspergers is a high-functioning form) is the autism-spectrum quotient, which you can take here. As it says in the link, the average score for non-autistic people is 16.4, and autistic people tend to score 32 or higher - I tend to get around 30, so I'm pretty borderline. Some members of my family are more clearly autistic though.

     

    Well on that test which I have done numerous times I usually score 35-38. Just took it again and it was 38. :smile:

     

    In regards to the thread, I find it really difficult to find the words that I want to say even now typing this.

     

    I dislike large social situations and it gets worse as I tend to avoid them more regularly. As I said recently I skipped to birthday invites so that I wouldn't have to interact with people as that scares me no end.

     

    It took me a whole week in my head to gather up enough courage to ask for a day off at work as I was anxious about what my boss might say. (no) I fear being rejected on a small scale so never ask people whether they want to do something with me as I will become extremely hurt/sensitive if they say no.

     

    Exhaustion is something I face on a daily basis after work, going out for a day, even just going to the shops. The fact that I was around or near people frightens me and I often come home mentally and physically drained and have to be left by myself. This evening I took a nap once I got in as I needed to escape for awhile.

     

    Sometimes I catch myself fixating on certain things like at the moment I refuse to drink out of any other mug than my Harry Potter one as otherwise I will become unsettled. (plus you have to leave the teabag in for exactly 5 minutes) Not sure what that has to do with anything but wanted to write it down.

     

    The thing is no one really sees this as I'm laid back and happy it's just I don't feel at peace until I'm alone again into the safety of my room.

     

    :)

     

    PS: I'm off travelling for 4 months soon and I'm unsure how I will cope. I strongly dislike the outside. :p

  18. Posted

    Weirdly I just wrote this quickly earlier:

     

    I have done nothing of merit on this day, I burnt the rice. I left it on for too long as I was too absorbed in an episode of a tv show I was watching on my laptop and didn’t hear the buzzer for the cooker through my headphones. It wasn’t anything particularly gripping just over the top violence and gruesome gore. Not exactly high art but sometimes you just want to see limbs get shred and blood spilt. Every time I watch something like that I always begin to feel useless as if I have failed everyone who knew me and has yet the dissatisfaction to meet me. I’m not just talking about acquaintances but anyone who I pass on the streets. I feel they must be doing more important things with their time at least more important than sitting in their underwear all afternoon staring aimlessly at some form of screen then I start thinking that they are probably not doing more important things and just like me they are at home staring blankly at a screen. Even if they are doing something more important what defines that as being better than what I’m doing and why does that make their existence any more important than mine? just because they are out there in the world. The only difference between me and them is they aren't worried they are wasting they are life and are unaware that they are caught in a mindless stupor not progressing and for that moment in time obsolete.I have decided tomorrow I will go outside (yet another day off) and get out of this rut. It’s not like my attitude or aura as a person will change because of this but at least I can be melancholic in a new setting. All these thoughts will be whirring around my head now, no sleep for me this evening.

     

    Which is vaguely on topic. Aside from the spending time on videogames/TV argument. The idea was to explore why some activities are deemed more acceptable as something to occupy us than others and why are some frowned upon like i'm wasting my existence.

     

    I have the same problem when people as me what job I want.

     

    "But you have to get a proper job"

     

    What is a "proper" job?

     

    "Yes but you won't get paid as much."

     

    ...but doing this I may be more fulfilled as a human and feel complete before I exeunt stage right.

     

    :D

  19. Posted

    Today was an insignificant day in the grand scheme of things, I spent all day in my Pyjama's and watched films.

     

    A day that most others would forget but there are elements of this day that will remain with me either knowingly or unknowingly. It was the subtlety and the nuances of everyone around me being at peace, everyone was enjoying the fact that they were alive and grateful for their existence or at least that's the atmosphere I was receiving.

     

    :smile:

  20. Posted

    I have so many ideas and concepts whirring about my head every day. I pursue all of my ideas it could be just a name or a concept and I develop it from there to see whether there is anyway weight behind it. Some of these don't see the light of day others get turned into poetry and a few get the ideas combined together to see if that works.

     

    Currently I have my main idea which is at 40,000 words but that has been put on hiatus for something of a smaller scale I'm working on which I started in June which is 15,000 words at the moment and fully planned out.

     

    :)

  22. Posted

    I'm the same, I don't really go out to clubs or bars. If I do go out it's usually to the cinema which isn't exactly the best place to be sociable!

     

    I do think sometimes maybe it's just me being too picky, even though i'd be a bit of a hypocrite as i'm not exactly perfect (looking) myself. I also have very little self esteem so it's hard for me to talk to people when I know in the end i'm just going to get let down.

     

    What dating sites would anyone recommend? Preferably free. Or if anyone on here just wants to chat feel free to send me a message :p

     

    I am the same as well! :)

     

    I do not really go to clubs or bars. I have tried ,complete with amusing untoward dances, but my limbs do not allow me the dexterity I require and so I'll leave that area for other people to conquer.

     

    My preferred setting is the cinema which fortunately I work in one, so free tickets. :D But it definitely isn't the best place to be sociable. It's usually a place of solace between me and the screen.

     

    My self-esteem is pretty low and I also have social anxiety on top of that and for those reasons I find it hard to talk to new people or even recently I was invited to two separate birthday events that I declined as I was too nervous about the interactions between people there. I know it's "silly" but I still can't help it.

     

    I'm always up for a chat though. :grin:

  24. Posted

    Carry on the same but with the comfort of knowing when I'll die. I'd probably write more and quicker to get something out there so there is a sense of me left in this world, along with all the other junk I'd be leaving behind. Everyones scent lingers. :smile:

     

    I might buy a watch that counts down how long I have left.

  25. Posted

    I have watched every episode. And quite a few are very dark. The Jiggler can be downright terrifying.

     

    My favorite by far is Thank You, which is just so damn adorable and for the most part doesn't even feature Finn and Jake. Also Fionna and Cake....which is actually genderswap fan art by an actual Adventure Time artist made into an entire Genderswap episode.

     

    BTW, check iTunes, I know at least the first couple seasons were on it before.

     

    Edit: Coolness, have you checked out Frisky Dingo or Archer? You should,

     

    I keep meaning to watch Archer but so far I have been cba. :) It has Bob's voice actor from Bob's burgers from it.

     

    I shall also check out Frisky Dingo, thanks for the rec.

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