Coolness Bears

I like hoodies.

oh well. :p Wow I have not been here in agggggggges.

How can I refuse an invite? (IN)

My friend is coming tomorrow. (non imaginary) I'mma buy my second Vinyl album probs, deciding on my short list now.

The general book thread is still on the first page. :p http://www.n-europe.com/forum/showthread.php?t=30138&page=6

The movie looks pretty bad but I'm fully in.

The last parts of the episode gave me chills.

I here some people going mental in the middle of supermarket and shout: "YOU CAN'T JUST TOUCH OTHER PEOPLE'S FOOD!" and proceed to mash his mums food on the conveyor belt whilst going Bellllllelglellgelghhhh really loudly. ...or maybe that's me. :p Yes @MagnusDon't worry, I've taken my meds.

The other day in the cinema: Woman: What popcorn do you do? Me: Sweet or Salted. Woman: What's the difference? Boyfriend: are you kidding me?!?

Yes! I am safe from Magnus in one hobby! :p I'm quaking. Why Cars 2?

I'm actually not. Aside from 50 movies in January the rest is casual viewing. Been completing anime series recently.

Just another 198 to go! :p

I always wear a seatbelt even if it's like a short 2 minute journey. In fact everything I do in life is to ensure my own safety. :p I thought this thread was going to be about being unable to converse with the taxi driver.

Brave. My only gripe was that it was to sort and as result everything felt rushed. It was still great though.

I CAN'T STOP CLICKING HIS EYE BBBBBBABALL

jealous. One of my favourite anime.

Unfortunately for you I recognised it instantly as I played it to death as a child. (I remember getting stuck and lost a lot) :p

10: King's quest VII?

Minor changes are horrible, like how do you explain to your supervisor that you don't like the fact that she is wearing a different shirt that you aren't used to (white with black swans) and that you will feel odd around her for the rest of the day because of it? As for the phone I don't go near it, I have to get my mum to make the call for me. It will take me weeks to send an E-mail before I have enough courage to send it. My mobile is always on silent as the ringing noise terrifies me. I really don't like talking about this though as I feel like I'm indulging in it as there are others with much worse problems than me but it's still a struggle. This which is why for my first year at university I didn't seek any help I didn't want to have it as an "excuse" as I've seen people use these things as an excuse when it's just laziness. I felt that it was cheating but when I finally did get help at University my tutor she explained to me that it's not cheating its helping me to get back to the "normal" level so I'm on the same plain as everyone else work wise. She was fantastic help and I wish I had gone to her sooner, I would've done much better as a result. One of the most embarrassing things is being unable to tie your own shoelace and have your own nephew come up to you for you to tie his and having to say that you can't.

My baby. Chinchilla's are so weirdly squished. The whole Chinchillidae family is awesome. : peace:

Well on that test which I have done numerous times I usually score 35-38. Just took it again and it was 38. In regards to the thread, I find it really difficult to find the words that I want to say even now typing this. I dislike large social situations and it gets worse as I tend to avoid them more regularly. As I said recently I skipped to birthday invites so that I wouldn't have to interact with people as that scares me no end. It took me a whole week in my head to gather up enough courage to ask for a day off at work as I was anxious about what my boss might say. (no) I fear being rejected on a small scale so never ask people whether they want to do something with me as I will become extremely hurt/sensitive if they say no. Exhaustion is something I face on a daily basis after work, going out for a day, even just going to the shops. The fact that I was around or near people frightens me and I often come home mentally and physically drained and have to be left by myself. This evening I took a nap once I got in as I needed to escape for awhile. Sometimes I catch myself fixating on certain things like at the moment I refuse to drink out of any other mug than my Harry Potter one as otherwise I will become unsettled. (plus you have to leave the teabag in for exactly 5 minutes) Not sure what that has to do with anything but wanted to write it down. The thing is no one really sees this as I'm laid back and happy it's just I don't feel at peace until I'm alone again into the safety of my room. PS: I'm off travelling for 4 months soon and I'm unsure how I will cope. I strongly dislike the outside. :p

Weirdly I just wrote this quickly earlier: I have done nothing of merit on this day, I burnt the rice. I left it on for too long as I was too absorbed in an episode of a tv show I was watching on my laptop and didn’t hear the buzzer for the cooker through my headphones. It wasn’t anything particularly gripping just over the top violence and gruesome gore. Not exactly high art but sometimes you just want to see limbs get shred and blood spilt. Every time I watch something like that I always begin to feel useless as if I have failed everyone who knew me and has yet the dissatisfaction to meet me. I’m not just talking about acquaintances but anyone who I pass on the streets. I feel they must be doing more important things with their time at least more important than sitting in their underwear all afternoon staring aimlessly at some form of screen then I start thinking that they are probably not doing more important things and just like me they are at home staring blankly at a screen. Even if they are doing something more important what defines that as being better than what I’m doing and why does that make their existence any more important than mine? just because they are out there in the world. The only difference between me and them is they aren't worried they are wasting they are life and are unaware that they are caught in a mindless stupor not progressing and for that moment in time obsolete.I have decided tomorrow I will go outside (yet another day off) and get out of this rut. It’s not like my attitude or aura as a person will change because of this but at least I can be melancholic in a new setting. All these thoughts will be whirring around my head now, no sleep for me this evening. Which is vaguely on topic. Aside from the spending time on videogames/TV argument. The idea was to explore why some activities are deemed more acceptable as something to occupy us than others and why are some frowned upon like i'm wasting my existence. I have the same problem when people as me what job I want. "But you have to get a proper job" What is a "proper" job? "Yes but you won't get paid as much." ...but doing this I may be more fulfilled as a human and feel complete before I exeunt stage right.

Today was an insignificant day in the grand scheme of things, I spent all day in my Pyjama's and watched films. A day that most others would forget but there are elements of this day that will remain with me either knowingly or unknowingly. It was the subtlety and the nuances of everyone around me being at peace, everyone was enjoying the fact that they were alive and grateful for their existence or at least that's the atmosphere I was receiving.

I have so many ideas and concepts whirring about my head every day. I pursue all of my ideas it could be just a name or a concept and I develop it from there to see whether there is anyway weight behind it. Some of these don't see the light of day others get turned into poetry and a few get the ideas combined together to see if that works. Currently I have my main idea which is at 40,000 words but that has been put on hiatus for something of a smaller scale I'm working on which I started in June which is 15,000 words at the moment and fully planned out.

...and this is why my room was always locked. :p