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chairdriver

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Posts posted by chairdriver

  3. Posted

    I love. Such a joke thing.

     

    The first picture feels really un-you - too posed - but the second is everything. I'm going to Marais La Nuit.

     

    COMEONCOME. The Naight! The Naiaiaght!

    I love how it was blatantly all inspired by Hound too. Everything I do in life is with memory of Hound's Broken Home.

  4. Posted

    But it's not a costume.

     

    Exactly, this was my line of thought. Had I won, what would they have been awarding me the prize for? It wasn't a costume, more me channeling the vibe of the theme in what I was wearing. Really, given it was a queer party, that type of clothing should have been the norm -- it was just no one else bothered to dress queerly, so everyone was into it.

     

    Anyway, it wasn't strictly "best costume", it was more a drag queen had surveyed and noted, and then later on in the night had demanded her fave people go up onto the stage.

  6. Posted

    So last night was QueerBop -- a massive party celebrating queerness. The theme was metamorphosis; I decided to go under a personal metamorphosis, into the person I imagine would be singing Lady GaGa's Marry The Night.

     

    AeoWxWJCIAA6lud.jpg

     

    384575_10150949520910603_766150602_21634053_1898134935_n.jpg

     

     

    I got shortlisted for best costume, but lost to a pair of guys dressed in carboard-made Transformers costumes which, incredibly, actually transformed (I was stunned).

  9. Posted

    @chairdriver; you were at the protests. What do you think should be done to fund universities as you're clearly against the proposed system?

     

    Universities need money, they can't go on as they are or they will go bust and have to close down.

     

    What's the alternative to raising the fees? Raising the fees is a fair system, you don't pay back what you borrow until you earn enough.

     

    While I think raising fees is an attack on the working class and social mobility, in that it immediately dissuades people who can't imagine ever having that much money, my primary concern for being at the protests was about funding cuts, and the marketisation of education.

     

    My ideal outcome would be to morph the way we approach economics and the way we structure ourselves socially -- I'm very much a Marxist. It's difficult to tangibly present a battle plan, mostly because I'm not a Marxist theorist -- all I know is that the marketisation of education is a really really bad idea. [And putting on my capitalist hat, funding cuts to universities will actually just make us worse off in the future, because we won't be able to compete with academic development of other countries and our researchers will move abroad where there are better facilities]

     

    My first instinct -- other than revolution -- is to divert some of the billions and billions of £ that's fed into the defence budget into education, such that everyone in this country can attain the standard of education that they deserve.

     

     

    Education leads people out of oppression.

  10. Posted

    Best of luck though :) Have any of the recent student protests/riots had any results? @chairdriver ! You were at one of them, did anything come of it at the end?

     

    I think, while superficially ineffective, they've had far-reaching results:

     

    Lots more people have become politicised. Lots more people have realised that this stuff is important. Politics is a lot BIGGER than Labour vs Tory and parliamentary debate -- politics affects us all. For many these protests were people's first experience of extraparliamentary politics, and for many that was a very valuable thing.

     

    Many of the people at these protests have now experienced the way they are policed, and have begun to think about the role of the Police, and the how power, protest and policing work together. Why should a policeman have any power to pepper-spray an 84 year old woman in the face who was legally within her rights to protest?

  11. Posted

    20,000 student protesters will hopefully be enough to influence the government to reduce our fees, currently standing at just over 2,000. It feels too good to be political & feeling like you're making a difference.

     

    Peaceful protest on this scale does little. Superficially it makes it seem democracy is happening, where actually, power rests in the hands of a very small number of people most of which have no obligation to listen to protestors.

     

    Don't pretend our political system is a perfect debating chamber where all arguments are weighed up equally and the best choice of action is made. It's not. People with more money, more contacts, more influence, more oil have more say.

     

    Of course, you should be going to protests -- everyone who cares should, because having no protest is worse than an ineffectual protest -- but you have to realise that peaceful protest rarely achieves anything.

  14. Posted

    Paj! , ReZ anD I (band name?) all play Heroclix. (Not all together, since I've never actually met ReZ (this needs to be rectified)). It's a really great game, been playing almost 6 years!

     

    And they're releasing a Lord Of The Rings set early next year which is going to be completely compatible with the existing Marvel / DC figures. I'm surprisingly into it.

  16. Posted

    I have tried online dating before.

    I'm gay, and have met a few other guys from a site I go on infrequently.

     

    When I say meet, I don't mean for sex :shakehead - that's not the kinda lad that I am.

     

    The problem I have found is that most of the guys on these sites are literally after just that. A quick shag.

     

    Others are looking for the ideal partner (as we all are I suppose) but though they say they will talk to anyone, half of them will not bother with you if they don't like the look of you.

     

    The problem with the gay world - and also online dating IMO - is that everyone is so fickle.

    You are judged purely on your appearance - and I know there has to be an attraction, but even if you have loads in common with the person viewing your profile, they will click away because you aren't 'fit' enough.

     

    I have recently met with a guy off the site I mentioned above and he was really really nice. He took me to a bar / restaurant place in town for some food and then we went for a walk by the river and through the town - which is lovely at night.

    I stayed at his and we played games and watched a film for the rest of the evening and then I left the next day. It was great.

    We were texting loads, and before we met after a few messages were exchanged we Skyped / FaceTimed for 5 and a half hours! Nothing rude, we just talked that whole time!

    Then when we met there were still no silences or awkward moments.

     

    Anyway a few weeks have passed and things are not the same.

    He came out of a long relationship about 7 months ago and has said he doesn't want to commit to anything - he just wants to enjoy spending time with me.

    I was totally cool with that, but had noticed that he was still frequently using the site we 'met' on. So I asked him if another guy asked him out for a drink would he go. He said yes.

    :confused::(

     

    It really threw me. We had been getting along brilliantly - I hadn't used the site since I messaged him and there were no other lads on my radar - nor was I on anyone elses - and he just came out and said he would happily go and get to know someone else over a drink whilst doing the same with me.

     

    So I then asked him - what if you preferred this other guy after getting to know him - he said that it would mean things weren't working out with me and he would say that "as he likes to be honest".

    But that isn't being honest. The honest thing to say would be he has met someone else who he wants to spend time with. I said that it makes him a liar. A lie to prevent my feelings or not it is a lie. And he is ok with seeing other guys after we have spent 3 nights together as well as having what I thought was a really strong connection.

     

    We last spoke last Saturday (the texting and calling becoming less and less as he has been busy with work) when he text me to see if I was ok.

    I replied with the usual - 'I'm fine, just having a relaxing weekend etc' and then heard nothing all week.

     

    I text him on Friday as it was his birthday - I said I hoped he had a lovely day and he responded with a thank you and that he was out in Manchester for a party. In his text back the first thing he said was 'I've just given you some space this week'. I didn't ask for space? I text back with a simple - enjoy your day - as I wasn't going to ruin his Birthday with any unnecessary questions.

     

    I expected a response from him over the weekend but so far nothing. I think I know that things are 'over' - even though we didn't have a label or anything - but to just let it fizzle to nothing is a bit crap in my opinion. It's hard to take a little bit too as I don't know the reason why. Am I just not good enough - or is there someone better than me? Who knows.

     

    I haven't really spoke about this with anyone - tend not to speak to my sisters or parents about it and writing it all now has made me feel a bit upset / sad. When I have recapped how something started so promisingly and has turned into what it is (what even is it?) it's really tough to take.

     

    I know this may not be the typical post in here, but I'm hoping some of you can relate to it so you can kinda understand where I'm at right now. Don't suppose you need to be gay to have been in a similar situation in the past. Just looking for some guidance I suppose - do I do nothing, or demand to know why everything has suddenly stopped?

     

    Sorry for the length of this - I just had to get it off my chest I suppose.

     

    Sometimes you have to take the knock to the teeth and realise that in a relationship the extent to which one person likes the other will not be equal on both sides of the equation. From what you've said (sorry if I interpret this wrong!) it sounds like your more invested in the relationship than he is.

     

    This happens relatively often, I find. I get excited that I've found a potential significant person in my life, and then it fizzles out and he never texts back. You've got to roll with the disappointment. Things R what they R. Rather than lament the loss and plague him with texts, my instinct would be to just be your hair and look for someone new.

     

    And something I think is important, in the dating world: make an effort to make yourself more attractive/alluring! Go to the gym, take a flattering picture, try to write your profile so that you only give a certain amount of information away (mystique is more alluring than reading someone's life story, and their arbitrary borderline fascist opinions). If you feel that your profile is *good* and is a flattering representation of yourself, you're more likely to be confident and confidence is hot [applicable both to real life and online].

     

    Basically, reach for your potential, I believe in u.

  18. Posted

    I'm going to an event called HalloQueen, where everyone cross-dresses, so I need to think of a female scary outfit (I hate dressing up for Halloween when it's not scary/occult-y).

     

    Might go as my interpretation of the Pagan Mother Goddess.

  24. Posted

    Whatever the origin of the word 'mong', people these days don't use it in that sense. Like when people say something is gay to mean lame.

     

    (Except that using gay to mean lame is unacceptable, really, and anyone who uses it should be made aware that they're a lesser person.)

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