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Ashley

Making 'big' decisions

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So I'm thinking of moving country. Not sure where yet and that is part of what I need to decide, but the pandemic kiboshed my travelling plans (and I'd planned to move after that anyway) and I don't think it's going to happen again anytime soon so figured I may as well give it a crack.

And in order to procrastinate I thought I'd ask how you go about making big decisions such as this kind of thing, home buying, careers, studies etc etc. Are you someone that meticulously studies all the options and weighs them up or do you go with your gut?

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I honestly have no idea, it kind of just....happens. My biggest decision that I made on my own was moving back to Wales from Manchester, as I felt a semi-fresh start (and potentially getting back in touch with friends from school). I was lucky in that it lined up nicely - my boss asked if I could continue working from home, a rental house popped up at the perfect moment, so that was the two more difficult aspects taken care off. 

 

I think I mostly go with my gut. I've never fully studied a choice, there's just a feeling that something is the right choice. 

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I feel like I’ve made a fair few big decisions in my time, and I have a very easy way of evaluating them.

The way I do it is to imagine myself in the future, say 5 or 10 years down the line, and evaluate what I’d think of the good/bad of each option and try to see where the balance lies - it usually comes down to will you regret not trying the “change” part of the decision you’re making vs. will life actually progress if you stay as you are.

For me, this has served me well in every big change I’ve thought about. 

In your situation I’d weigh it up as if I move and the whole thing fucks up what do you do? Probably move back and within a few months be back to where you were before you left, but with the experience of trying it. If you don’t move, what will you think in 10 years time? For me, at least, I’d probably be incrementally better off than I was before but always wondering what might have been - this might be different for you, but it will give you a pretty good indicator of what you want to do.

We really only have so many years to do things like this, if you have the chance, it’s really something special to do. I moved away ten years ago now and I’ve not once regretted it - experiencing new places/people/things as something more than a holiday is honestly life changing. If I were you I would 100% do it.

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Oh yeah I'm definitely going to do it, just figuring out what shape it takes.

Not to beat a drum but if it weren't for Brexit I would probably pick a place, go there and play it by ear a bit. Instead I need to apply for a visa and deal with the practicalities (such as "it can take x months to get a visa then you have 30 days to move"). It will be a case of playing it by ear but I basically see two options; go to a place for a year or so continuing in my current job and then go travelling or go to a place and stick there enough time to get an EU passport back and then that gives me flexibility, although I'd then be 40 which is a daunting thought!

Shame you can't cumulatively build up enough time across the countries because then I'd probably just spend a year and a bit across PIGS. 

My plan for the weekend is to actually probably look at the various visas and start a good old spreadsheet to keep track of the differences. I've had an idle look on my phone in the evenings but obviously that's not ideal. Thankfully many places seem to offer either a digital nomad visa or a self employed visa so I should be reasonably okay finding one, just dealing with the faff (again, fucking Brexit).

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Book a flight and go, and never look back. Sometimes in life you just need to jump off the deep end.

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And then after 90 days...?

I'm not looking to leave right now anyway. I'm thinking of the second half of next year.

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Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, Ashley said:

And then after 90 days...?

I'm not looking to leave right now anyway. I'm thinking of the second half of next year.

You’ll figure it out. The freedom of living without a plan is invigorating.

Practically speaking if you’re in one country and your visa is running out, pick a neighbouring country, go to the their embassy in whatever country you’re in and get a visa. Move on. Always keep enough in your bank for a flight home. If you’re set on not going immediately take the time to do your TEFL course, so you can earn a bit of cash teaching English if you fancy sticking around somewhere for a while.

Edited by LazyBoy

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I do plan on properly travelling again once all this is over, but in the interim I'm looking to just live somewhere else for a while and that's what I'm trying to figure out at the moment. That somewhere else may become one or two somewheres, but at the moment I'm not looking to do a lot of traveling. 

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I'm both, such is my nature.

On the one hand I plan out everything. I got married, got a new management job and bought a house in the last year. The wedding and house were planned to almost the minute, but the job was taken on a complete whim in the space of two weeks. Which was madness at the time! 

On the other hand I've done so many things, lived in random places purely because the opportunity came up and I felt the need to just do it. Which is scary as hell, but its ended up being amazing. 

I always feel some of the best things that have ever happened to me have been the non-planned things, that come out of nowhere and I say yes too. I'm sure you'd do well living abroad Ashley. I agree with others here, if your gut it telling you to go, you'll figure it out as you go, rather than planning super hard before hand. If it doesn't work out, what's the worst that happens? You come home? ./shrug 

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i avoid making big decisions like the PLAGUE... thats probably why i spent 16 years in one (miserable in hindsight) job lol

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Just to be clear I do plan to move, I'm just questioning where to (and to a lesser extent, when). 

I think my problem is I procrastinate on things that don't feel urgent. Case in point; at the start of the year I tried to register for a GP around here online. When I got my vaccination (vac centre) they couldn't find me there so used the old GP. After back and forth with both new and old GPs saying its the other's fault the new one phoned me just as I was heading in the gym to sort it out and I said I couldn't so they said to ring back. That was July and I've now just rung them to find out a) their number has changed and b) I need to go in person. And that's not even a big decision! 

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