Jump to content
NEurope
Sign in to follow this  
EEVILMURRAY

Adverts That Blow - Secondary Remix

Recommended Posts

The Jamster adverts are evil, they're always on and so f***ing anoying! The voice-overs are so cheesy and fake. No I don't want your stupid ringtones Jamster, now sod off! What kinda name is Jamster anyway!! :mad:

 

...and don't get me started on the God damn' frog!!! :mad::mad:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Picture, with the over the top acting.

 

"You know, it's realy easy to talk to those people at Picture...You can actualy have...an adult...conver...sation...." *At this point the man burst out crying of his love for Picture."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Those new Pc World ones, where they show a woman talking to a employee of PC World, and they enjoy a hilarious joke together before they are crushed beneath my large foot as i stamp down their prices.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The Rimmel ads with Kate Moss giving the impression that nail varnish will give you the ability to crack glass. Tart.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Those adverts for yoghurt where the woman comes in saying she feels 'unaturally bloated' and then her friend gives her these 'new' yoghurts which should sort the problem out pronto. All she really needs is a good fart. She then proceeds to steal the yoghurts, adding theft to her list of criminal activities.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

YES! I've been meaning to mention that. In both adverts the women have resorted to theft in order to get that product.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
YES! I've been meaning to mention that. In both adverts the women have resorted to theft in order to get that product.

 

Thus proving how expensive the product must be in the first place.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"I'm taking a break" *slap*

 

One advert which shows no signs of stopping is a clean and clear advert. One girl points to where a spot (On the night before the party!!!) is meant to be [but has one of the most clearest faces ever] and promptly washes.

 

Then look what they're wearing, that's right. It's been on our TVs since the 80's, maybe longer.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"Try these new Activia yoghurts, with Bifidus Digestivum, that well known cholesterol reducing subtance we just made up!"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yknow what always bugged me? Those spot cream/cold sore adverts where the actors were always complaining, even though they had flawless skin.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That insurance company advert, with the smug motherfucker who walks across the tightrope?

 

*Puts sledgehammer through TV*

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've got three adverts, which while watching the last 2 hours of TV have blown enough for me to mention them now.

 

The Wine Gums advert: Some arsehole takes some form of shortcut under a bridge which the way could hold any number of dangers, from the walkway being so slippery since the water is so high or a gang of chavs waiting in ambush. Imagine my surprise when a Troll pops up from the most likely calm shallow barge friendly waters and demands diamonds [in what could be described as the voice of a large gay man] or "feel his wrath" which based on the voice could be deducted to be several new arseholes being torn.

 

The man, obviously predicted something of this manner and had popped into his local newsagent for a bag of wine gums offers the Troll those instead, under the premise that they are infact rubies and emeralds (skipping the other colours such as black, yellow, orange etc) the lying bastard. His voice is that of the small gay man, with an expression to match [but looks horribly dubbed]. Now the troll most likely knows the man is lying but plays dumb just for the wine gums [because they're the shit] and promptly drops the bloke in the canal for being a lying prick. Troll chews wine gums with a face of sexual pleasure which only rivals Glitter's were he to walk into a nursery.

 

The Walt Disney advert: "I'm too excited!" One thing which always annoyed me about this advert was when the girl says "Mum says it's just magical" (Lying whore) and opens her eyes while the little boy has some form of fit. Back of my hand to him.

 

Mother enters the room, telling them in no uncertain terms to get to bed, now when I was young it was do as you were told, or be punished. Not in TV land apparently. The "But mum!" "We're too excited!" excuse comes into play. Disobedient little shit, that warrants an introduction to the business side of my shoe, with a threat of the holiday being cancelled.

 

After we see some screens of the holiday, which is great, or was when I went, may have gone downhill. Anyways we cut to the night later. Mum has presumably sorted the kids out in an appropriate manner [iE not having to ask twice (Dragon kick)] and returned to her [i assume] husband in bed. She asks if he is asleep and he replies that he can't because he's too excited, and rightly so, he's no doubt put no end of hours overtime down at the office to pay for this holiday, as has his wife. The kids chime with "We heard that", as if it excuses their disobedience. Holiday cancelled fuckers.

 

Comet: Apparently Comet staff are trained by riding around on a moped and locating street names [No less than three, or more] and checking them off his list. Our little man finds his last street [Plasma Row I think] and crosses it off, and drives back to Comet's training school and hands his clipboard to the inspector standing outside doing fuck all.

 

He takes one look at this mans clipboard and slams a passed stamp on it. He doesn't check, the little bugger could've hid round the corner for half and hour and ticked them anyway. It's this kind of shoddy trainees we walk into and demand some expertise when we need a new cooker/TV etc.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

all comet workers should have to read every gadget site, games forum, and stuff mag before even being consider to work in a shop that sells anything with a plug.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Sign in to follow this  

×