Charlie

Is growing up as you expected it to be?

Recommended Posts

A lot of people have been on these forums pretty much our entire life. I personally signed up back in 2002-2003 which is one hell of a long time and I obviously changed from a young teenager back then to a 26 year old guy now.

 

Has anything about growing up surprised you? What's different than you expected?

 

For me, the biggest surprise was the lack of free time. When I was at school there was so much time for everything and I actually had too much free time. These days it's rare that I have one night in by myself a week with nothing on. Although I do count gym nights with nothing else still a 'free night'. I would love to have more spare time but I don't see where it will come from.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Back when I got my first full time job, it really threw me for a loop. I made a thread on here way back when I started this job because I was freaking out at the idea of basically losing all my free time. Now, I've become used to it, but it does really suck. There are lots of things I want to do in an evening but I'm usually physically and mentally drained by work and just veg out with a game. I think my biggest issue is spending too much time regretting decisions and not enough time chasing my future plans. I've got some decent dreams which could turn my life around, I just have to pull my finger out and do it.

 

Also, if I could tell my younger, amidst-education self any one thing, it would be: to make way more friends and connections whilst it's really easy to do so. Socialising is a concept that's very difficult to recapture if you opt out early on.

 

So to answer the question: growing up isn't what I thought it would be, I can see ways to change that, just gotta do it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't feel like I've grown up at all, I just keep getting more stuff to be responsible for and keep balanced...

 

I miss working part-time, drawing comics and playing Halo 2 all day. :(

Edited by Guy
Editing for the sake of editing.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Growing up is not as i expected it. Back in school, i had all this free time after 3:30pm. Perfect for socializing with friends, hanging out and all that. And all that holiday was great.

 

In the job i had before this one, that hit hard with how little free time i had. Worked 10am until 7pm, getting home around 9pm and having 2, maybe 3 hours of an evening. And i couldn't exactly live for the weekend either, it was a job which rota'd weekends into working. Days off were in the week, and i couldn't do anything as all my mates were working. In that time, many of them settled down, and even though i still talk to them, it's not the same as it was. I understand that, it just makes me sad sometimes.

 

Now, the job i have (it's the same company, just a different department) is much better. Yes it's 9-5:30pm, but i get close to 6 hours free time an evening to do with what i like, and i get to live for the weekends again. Even though i get 20 or so days holiday a year, i earn flexi which adds to that. I can get upto 3 days extra a month on top of the annual allowance.

 

Growing up, it sucks as you learn the hard way that staying in can be "fun" (just like your parents have done for years). But the free time i get, i try and make the most of it. I've earned this job with it's benefits, and i like it. It is scary thinking i had too much free time in school, but i made the most of it and make the most of the time i have off now. But with that comes the responsibilities of growing up, something i've adapted into life (hard at first, but it's normal). And when i've been out of work, it shocked me how much free time i had.

Edited by Jimbob

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I expected to be more successful (not too much, not in a big headed way), but pushing 30 and working only 25 hours a week is simply depressing. Still living with Mummy which is alright I guess. Can't wait to see how much money I'm left with each month after I move out and dem bills come rollin'.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I love being an adult and there's no way I could go back to being a kid now.

 

Being a teenager...no thanks, Jeff. Dat exam stress, dat worry about "what will you do when you grow up?!", dat learning to drive stress, dat feel being broke as fuck and no real way to make money and no sense of freedom.

 

Yes, you don't get a lot of free time. But, earning money is great and you get a true sense of worth when you know that you bought these things for yourself or that you accomplished something. I'm lucky doing a job that I love, too. When you have your own place, you can have whoever you want around and can go out til lord knows what time. Growing up has turned out to be better than expected for me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I love being an adult and there's no way I could go back to being a kid now.

 

Being a teenager...no thanks, Jeff. Dat exam stress, dat worry about "what will you do when you grow up?!", dat learning to drive stress, dat feel being broke as fuck and no real way to make money and no sense of freedom.

 

Yes, you don't get a lot of free time. But, earning money is great and you get a true sense of worth when you know that you bought these things for yourself or that you accomplished something. I'm lucky doing a job that I love, too. When you have your own place, you can have whoever you want around and can go out til lord knows what time. Growing up has turned out to be better than expected for me.

 

Definitely agree with the first bit. A lot of people spout the whole "Oh I'd love to be a kid again" when what they really mean is "I'd love to do the things I did as a teenager, but with an adult mindset".

 

Personally I didn't enjoy my teenage years. They weren't particularly horrible or anything like that, I just didn't find them fun at the time. Looking back and seeing all the free time, time spent with friends, massive amounts of gamin etc. seems nice, but you don't really enjoy it at the time. You don't really have the right outlook on life.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Personally I didn't enjoy my teenage years.

 

Was it me?!

 

But no, growing up sucks. Back at school/uni I just couldn't wait to leave. I thought that joining the "real world" and not being tied to an academic calendar would be a great feeling - no exams woohoo! Unfortunately I never really considered that work would feel like more of a bind than exams. In fact that's probably what's most different than i expected, I never anticipated work to be this dull.

 

Saying that, I do get up to a lot more fun stuff outside of work these days than i did when i had all that free time when i was younger. That's not to say I didn't enjoy my teens, I was lucky enough to realise how much i enjoyed the free time/lifestyle at sixth form, so I look back at that with fond (if not slightly rose tinted) memories.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Was it me?!

 

Oh man, this is awkward. I didn't think you came round these parts any more.

 

Not really. You were probably the one thing that made me smile all those years, that kept me going. A shining beacon in a dense fog. A candle of hope on a dark night. I miss you. I love you.

 

 

I did actually enjoy sixth form. School was finally somewhat challenging, and very few dick heads around.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

giphy.gif

 

By and large I don't mind it and I guess it's not too dissimilar to what I expected. Only thing is not expecting to be in a job I dislike for so long, but I'm looking to change that and work on my own stuff!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Definitely agree with the first bit. A lot of people spout the whole "Oh I'd love to be a kid again" when what they really mean is "I'd love to do the things I did as a teenager, but with an adult mindset".

 

Personally I didn't enjoy my teenage years. They weren't particularly horrible or anything like that, I just didn't find them fun at the time. Looking back and seeing all the free time, time spent with friends, massive amounts of gamin etc. seems nice, but you don't really enjoy it at the time. You don't really have the right outlook on life.

 

I do feel quite sorry for a lot of teenagers these days. They're constantly being told that they have no future, there's a lack of jobs, that they will probably never own a house, that their exam results are shit and the previous generation did it better. It's quite negative. I don't think I'd like to be a teenager growing up now. Or even someone younger than that. The world has changed a lot.

 

I try not to let nostalgia cloud my vision. I enjoyed growing up, but there were also bits that I didn't enjoy. I think I actually prefer my life and who I am now rather than the one I was when growing up.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I haven't been on the forums as long as most of you, having lurked then joined when the Wii was coming, so I was already just gone 19 and growing up when I got here - and sometimes I'm not sure how much has changed. As I think we all did, I expected to have more by now/feel more grown up - but then I think about it I've been earning a full-time wage for the last 5ish years and owe a lot of money for a house, have a car etc so in some ways I'm doing the grown-up thing; I just feel like I would have felt a lot different I guess.

 

One downside to the above is as Shorty mentions - less time. I'm tired a lot. I work part time Mon-Fri and then usually top up with a Sunday and recently evenings too. That gives me mostly just Saturdays and evenings free and I end up feeling like there's just never much time to get everything done and everyone seen. Compound it with the fact some of my friends are in the same situations(working 9-5, living independently) and it's even harder to get us all together. Given that I work locally and most in London a quick drink after work tends to not happen - people go home and sit down, and then it's too much effort to bother going out again. It's nice having people round on a whim(though I had a similar freedom at home, albeit somewhat less so) but even that can be exhausting just in that it's your house and hosting and tidying and providing etcetc.

 

tl;dr On the whole - being grown up's pretty good, it's just pretty bloody tiring too. I don't even know how I'd have a family or kids if this tires me out as is.

 

There are lots of things I want to do in an evening but I'm usually physically and mentally drained by work and just veg out with a game. I think my biggest issue is spending too much time regretting decisions and not enough time chasing my future plans. I've got some decent dreams which could turn my life around, I just have to pull my finger out and do it.

 

Also, if I could tell my younger, amidst-education self any one thing, it would be: to make way more friends and connections whilst it's really easy to do so. Socialising is a concept that's very difficult to recapture if you opt out early on.

 

So to answer the question: growing up isn't what I thought it would be, I can see ways to change that, just gotta do it.

 

I must admit one positive to good online on consoles(ie my PS4) - I can veg out with a game AND get a bit of social in too. It isn't quite the same as seeing people, but it does get/give that fix.

I'm different to the second in that I've always been quite social - but I've met people similarly who didn't have a big social connection to then make friends off of. In some ways it's a difficult loop where you essentially need to be social to then get social - but you need that in to start it off! It was definitely more easy making connections etc when younger; but there's still hope now too! I do get intrigued by the fact I'm still managing to meet new people from time to time.

 

One downside though - I'm almost hooked. Someone I knew once called me a social junkie after she was like the 5th person I was seeing in the same day and I laughed it off at the time - but I've found I've gotten into a terrible habit of needing the socialising and I strangely do get bothered quite quickly if I don't have it. The greatest thing I could lose tomorrow isn't my house or money or job, but the connections to other people that I have. There's people I don't see as much these days as I used to and it gets to me sometimes - there's no good reason for it, we've just all grown up a bit too much to find the time.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Oh man, this is awkward. I didn't think you came round these parts any more.

 

Not really. You were probably the one thing that made me smile all those years, that kept me going. A shining beacon in a dense fog. A candle of hope on a dark night. I miss you. I love you.

 

Oh wow, i didn't even spot the "i love you" until quoting this message. I'm rusty! Have i been away that long?! But yeah, I lurk, stick my nose in every now and again.

 

I do feel quite sorry for a lot of teenagers these days. They're constantly being told that they have no future, there's a lack of jobs, that they will probably never own a house, that their exam results are shit and the previous generation did it better. It's quite negative. I don't think I'd like to be a teenager growing up now. Or even someone younger than that. The world has changed a lot.

 

As a teacher (i hope i've got that right), what's the biggest difference/change that you've see between growing up now and say 10/15 years ago (or whenever you grew up)?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I miss... playing Halo 2 all day. :(

 

Me too! Get an Xbox One and we can own some noobs together again.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Me too! Get an Xbox One and we can own some noobs together again.

 

I have one dude. Master Chief Collection is a bit of a lost cause... but 5 is out soon. A few of the others also have Xbones now to my knowledge.

 

Might be time to get the old gang back together!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I have one dude. Master Chief Collection is a bit of a lost cause... but 5 is out soon. A few of the others also have Xbones now to my knowledge.

 

Might be time to get the old gang back together!

 

Yeah after posting I realised that you did have one - we're still friends on XBL.

 

I agree re. MCC. As I said in the Halo 5 thread yesterday, you either play amazing people or terrible people and neither is much fun.

 

Hopefully Halo 5 will be a nice change up to the series and get it the community back into it. Definitely keen for getting the old gang together again, although as I was saying as the point of this thread, we might struggle to find a time!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't really feel that different now. I think partially because I was never a particularly immature child. Immaturity is something I learned to do, I'm much better at it now.

 

I do a job that I had intended to do whether I consciously realised it or not (my current role isn't perfect but it's pretty great and I plan to upgrade down the line and I'm at a great place to 'further my career' [Vomit]). I wrote the first draft of a book, which was always a dream but I actually did it (I'm now at the stage of 'Now what?' because I never thought about what I would do at this stage – it could ultimately come to nothing but I wrote it for myself so the most important bit is done). I don't own property because fuck London, but I should be left enough to get a place (or even be left a house maybe) so that's just a matter of time, I guess.

 

If I could change one thing it'd be to imbue myself with all the gym knowledge I currently have and start gyming when I was in my teens.

 

As for free time, I never really had any. I was always busy doing something. In fact I say I have as much now as I use to except the school holidays don't exist for me any more. Although, like Shorty, in the evening I usually feel exhausted. And sometimes that carries over to the weekend.

 

The worst thing about being an adult is often other adults. I find some just incredibly boring, having kids is a death sentence for being interesting; I'm utterly selfish, I never want children and I don't want to know yours exist.

 

People who moan annoy me, too. God, moaning. Jesus, STFU. Occasionally, yeah, go for it. But if you're moaning more than a couple times a month and for reasons not to do with coitus, YOU ARE A MOANER. I avoid the moaners of the world, they are white noise to me.

 

So, in conclusion, being an adult is pretty much what I expected except other adults are often disappointing. There are some gems out there, though.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If I recall correctly, I don't think I ever expected to grow up. You take on responsibilities when you need to, but other than that I don't think there's much more to it. Even though my peer group and I are from the '70s, I still don't really see them as grown-ups. As much as I respect their achievements, I can't help but see them as youngsters, even though many of them are balding and their beards are turning white. Some of the men too.

 

To put a slightly different slant on it, I feel society is different to how I expected. Even though I was never cripplingly shy as a teenager, I was still a shrinking violet when it came to new experiences. There were certain experiences that I was sure, such was my delusion, would be absolutely brilliant if I could ever pluck up the courage to do them. I romanticised certain things and places, if you like. When I did muster the courage to do them, I found most of them disappointing and much different to how I'd imagined them. I'm not saying people should never have new experiences, just that I have far less illusions than I used to. Wherever you go, you're still you and people are still people.

 

That's not to say that I don't enjoy life, just that the only important things to me now are health, family and enough money for food on the table and a roof over my head. Even if you aim high, sometimes the little things are the best.

 

In 1993, my greatest pleasures were weight training, playing Streets of Rage 2 and consuming chocolate and Coke. In 2015, my greatest pleasures are weight training, playing 3D Streets of Rage 2 and consuming chocolate and Coke...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Definitely agree with the first bit. A lot of people spout the whole "Oh I'd love to be a kid again" when what they really mean is "I'd love to do the things I did as a teenager, but with an adult mindset".

Yep, getting my mack on with the ladies with my perfected Viper technique would've been most rewarding. For them.

 

I do feel quite sorry for a lot of teenagers these days. They're constantly being told that they have no future, there's a lack of jobs, that they will probably never own a house

I don't see many teens wanting a house. I'm seeing even less adult peeps wanting a house now. Some are telling me they'll never get a house and would rather spend money renting a place. When I mention that we're planning to get a mortgage because we'll be putting the same money in but will be getting back when we sell the house, their response is that they have the freedom to move out whenever they like. True, but not a dynamite rebuttal.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Yep, getting my mack on with the ladies with my perfected Viper technique would've been most rewarding. For them.

 

I didn't know you'd named a technique after me?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

People who moan annoy me, too. God, moaning. Jesus, STFU. Occasionally, yeah, go for it. But if you're moaning more than a couple times a month and for reasons not to do with coitus, YOU ARE A MOANER. I avoid the moaners of the world, they are white noise to me.

 

What annoys me about people who moan (I hope this doesn't sound like I'm moaning myself) is that they often have the attitude that the world is out to get them. Everything always goes against them, the world owes them something. Oh, and moaning but then not doing anything about it. What's the point in moaning but not wanting to fix the problem?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm not really sure what I expected to be honest. At least, once I realized I probably wasn't going to be a WWE wrestler or F1 world champion.

 

During my A-levels and degree I just kind of showed up and went with the flow of where things took me, I didn't do anything with a long term plan or end goal in mind, it all just sort of happened. I don't think at the time I had much or any expectation of what 'real life' was going to be. Through a series of fortunate events I landed a good job not long out of uni and things have gone on from that.

 

For me, the key thing is that we have one life and you're the only one who can make things happen for it. I see way too many of my old school friends who just assume something they want will end up happening in the end yet do nothing to make it come. 10 years out of uni and they're still in the same place they were when we finished, just waiting for something to happen. Well, you live like that and you'll look back with massive amounts of regret in my opinion.

 

I guess as a kid all decisions are made for you, and you just go from point to point passing arbitrary goals as you go. As an adult you make the rules and are the master of your own happiness, so you better be damn sure you know where you want to go and that you can rely on yourself to get there. You have to take risks, face setbacks and put yourself out there to be hurt if you want to move forward. That's not really needed when you're a kid, someone will sort everything out for you, but as an adult you need to sort your own shit out. Unfortunately too many people realize that too late I think.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Back when I got my first full time job, it really threw me for a loop. I made a thread on here way back when I started this job because I was freaking out at the idea of basically losing all my free time. Now, I've become used to it, but it does really suck. There are lots of things I want to do in an evening but I'm usually physically and mentally drained by work and just veg out with a game. I think my biggest issue is spending too much time regretting decisions and not enough time chasing my future plans. I've got some decent dreams which could turn my life around, I just have to pull my finger out and do it.

 

Also, if I could tell my younger, amidst-education self any one thing, it would be: to make way more friends and connections whilst it's really easy to do so. Socialising is a concept that's very difficult to recapture if you opt out early on.

 

So to answer the question: growing up isn't what I thought it would be, I can see ways to change that, just gotta do it.

 

 

QFT without a doubt.

 

 

Also, staying up late is really not as fun as it used to be........:zzz:

 

I always thought the idea of having a job and rent/mortgage to pay would be so scary but its really not. Everything is a blur of meh

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites