Coming Out

[Diageo]

So one of the people who goes to this voluntary organisation I am part of told me a funny story. He's gay and his family doesn't know. One day he decides to try douching, and he's not the smartest individual, and does it with hot water. So he gets blistering (literally) pains in his bowels and has to ask him mother to take him to the hospital. And that's how his mother found out he was gay.

 

So I was thinking that since there's a large portion of non-heterosexuals in this forum, you can tell us your story, or a funny story from one of your friends.

[bob]

I wasn't aware douching was purely a homosexual pasttime....although maybe i'm not that sure of what it is exactly...

[Hamishmash]

Well I actually animated my Coming Out story and put it online yesterday... (and it's worthy of a plug I think!)

 

 

That was how I came out to my friend (and yeah, I literally did try to tell him on a roller coaster). And he's still my best friend so he was cool with it.

 

I didn't tell my Mum till a while later and by that time I actually had a boyfriend, who was 5 years older than me and lived on the other side of the road. So I had to tell her ALL of that. She was fiiiiiiiine with it... more worried for my sake in regards to homophobia than being homophobic to me and now she's met my boyfriend she likes him so much more than my brother's girlfriends. But initially she was just very, very, very shocked because I don't think up until then I'd given any really telling signs. I told her in a letter I left on her bed with a photo of me and my boyfriend holding hands looking happy.

 

My dad was cool with it, he said "You're old enough and ugly enough to do whatever the hell you want, long as you're happy, I'm happy."

 

My grandma was told a year after that and she was actually cool with it. She did say though "But he's so good looking!" Hmm. I guess that's a compliment.

[Cube]

I have no idea what douching means in this context and I'm not sure I want to find out...

[Coolness Bears]

He gave himself a hot water enema?

 

Oh I gettttttt it cleaning out the butthole so the other guy doesn't get crap on his dick?

 

Is that it?

 

lulz.

[Dog-amoto]

I always wondered, did many of you lose friends because of it as well?

 

Bit of a shitty way to lose a friend, but I suppose it's better not to have friends like that.

[jayseven]

I had a friend who was forever really shit with timekeeping. He'd always be a minute late, which was problematic for when we neede to catch a bus at a precise time.

 

He eventually texted me and a few other mate to say "I'm sorry but I'm gay and I hope it doesn't affect our friendship."

 

I simply replied "ok cool, so when's the bus?"

 

Perhaps he was expecting more from he situation...

[Fierce_LiNk]

One of my good mates spoke to me on MSN when I was at Uni and said "Things are a bit different for me...I like men now."

 

I laughed. No uneasiness at all, no awkwardness. It's a shame in some friendship circles where it does become an issue or a big deal.

 

I have two close lesbian friends and I can't remember exactly how they came out. I think they just came into school holding hands and that was their way of showing that they were lesbians (the constant kissing and flirting gave it away, too). No official declaration.

 

Homophobia is one of these things that I don't think I'll ever really understand.

[Cube]

Homophobia is one of these things that I don't think I'll ever really understand.

 

Homophobia is a bit of a strange word. People aren't afraid of them (like spiders). They're just douches.

[Fierce_LiNk]

Homophobia is a bit of a strange word. People aren't afraid of them (like spiders). They're just douches.

 

I saw a meme/internet funny picture saying the same thing. I think it's split, actually. Some people seem to have a general fear of homosexuals, like they find them a threat. Not in the same way you'd run away from a spider. More of an internal or psychological fear...or something.

 

The rest of them do seem to be arseholes.

[Dog-amoto]

I wouldn't suggest coming out on Facebook.

 

Everyone would just assume you'd been fraped.

[Diageo]

Why would anyone come out on Facebook. Also, you're right there Coolness Bears.

[Magnus]

I thought this thread would be about Diego coming out to us, and I was like, "this is Paj all over again!"

[EddieColeslaw]

A friend once came out to me by saying "I think I'm gay, are you ok with that?" and I was like yes, duh.

[Dannyboy-the-Dane]

Homophobia is a bit of a strange word. People aren't afraid of them (like spiders). They're just douches.

 

See, I disagree with that. Well, most of them are arseholes as a consequence, but it seems to a lot of homophobes are, if not scared per se, then at least uncomfortable with homosexuality because it goes against their narrow understanding of the world. The fear of the unknown and all that, or in this case more like fear of what you don't understand.

[Mokong]

A friend once came out to me by saying "I think I'm gay, are you ok with that?" and I was like yes, duh.

 

You should have said "ask me again when you're sure"

 

Here in Ireland I actually don't have any friends from school who are gay or had to "come out", only gay friends I have were already out before I met them.

 

With the exception of one youtube friend (who I have also met IRL) who came out a few years back and I of course had no issues

[ReZourceman]

I am not gay. But I do not mind if you are gay.

 

Proof that I am not gay;

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Mokong]

I was wondering where my "know your Roots" t-shirt went....

[Beast]

My friend came out to me over a phone call that started with him saying the sentence: "Darren, you've been my best friend for years and I think you're an amazing mate and I hope you still will be my friend when I tell you this...I'm gay!"

My response was "Okay, cool. So what have you been up to then?" and he said "...I just told you I'm gay...". I just replied "Yeah, okay. You like guys, I like girls...what's the big deal?" and there was a little silence on the phone and he said "There isn't one?" and I said "Yup, no issue at all!"

I think he wanted a massive reaction but truth be told, I don't care at all. Not as in "I don't care about your feelings" but as in "I don't care what you are, it's who you are that matters to me". If you're a right cunt, gay, straight or bi, I don't want to know.

I was the first one he came out to and then told everybody else. Everybody pretty much gave him the same reaction I did and he was shocked. I think he thought everybody would disown him but everybody was like "Alright so what are we doing later then?", just completely normal. About two years later, he told me that at the time, he wanted a bigger reaction because it was something that was huge to him but then he realised that the reactions he got were the best reactions anybody could have because it was like nothing changed.

 

I also did the same with my other best mate who turned out to be a lesbian. She told me in person in town and she was on the verge of tears and she said "I like girls" and I said "Okay, cool" and she smiled after. I made her laugh even more when I said "Are you a tits girl or an arse girl" and she actually said she loved huge tits on a girl. One thing that's weird but cool to do is talk about girls to a lesbian. Like she'd actually see a good-looking woman and she'd whisper "She's really hot...and she has a nice arse". Funniest thing to hear!

 

I did have someone who used to be my friend who came out to me and then changed into a nasty person so I didn't bother speaking to him and then started slagging me off on the internet and called me homophobic because, apparently, I stopped talking to him because of his sexuality. I didn't bother replying because I know everybody who knows me know it's not true (which was most people).

 

But yeah, doesn't bother me whether you like the same sex or not, just don't be a dickhead!

[MoogleViper]

Like she'd actually see a good-looking woman and she'd whisper "She's really hot...and she has a nice arse". Funniest thing to hear!

 

A lot of straight girls do this.

[killer kirby]

Funny you say this. Just a couple of months ago I was having dinner with my parents and we were disscussing how everyone has been and then the gay stories came up on who is gay and such, they then looked at me.

 

I knew the day was coming when I had to confess. I told them, with my heart beating at 100 miles an hour.

 

...I told them I was straight, my adopted dads dropped the forks and instantly went into their rooms screaming and crying...it was a bit awkward but yeah...I think they are settling down with the news, they are 100% behind my decision. I really love both my dads and that's my story

[Magnus]

A lot of straight girls do this.

And a lot of straight guys, too.

[nightwolf]

I'm straight but there's lots of people you can tell whether you find them attractive without wanting to sleep with them.

 

My friend at university spent a long time trying to tell me he was gay, I found out due to Facebook and it didn't bother me in the slightest, I think eventually he sat down with me to eat somewhere and told me. Poor guy! I never let him live it down though. :P

 

My sister asked me if I was gay when out at a restaurant for my 19th birthday, oh gosh I howled with laughter, just because of how shocked my parents were by her bluntness, needlessly to say I said I wasn't, but it was funny none the less.

[Aneres11]

I did the whole coming out thing and it wasn't the best experience if truth be told.

 

My mum didn't like it - and still doesn't.

I don't know why - I don't talk about it. I felt the need to say it because I was getting fairly serious with a guy at the time and in my eyes, it had always been known that I was gay by the people who know me properly - but obviously not.

 

My sister was fine with it, but as I say my mum had the whole 'how do you know if you don't go and meet girls' thing. It was a bit upsetting really - and still is, as I honestly thought if anyone would have been ok with it, it would have been my mum. We're really close, so it's kinda difficult.

 

I wanted her to know because as I say, I thought she'd have known and I was starting to go out a bit more on dates with the guy etc. I didn't want to lie to her with where I as going and I always want my parents to know where I am, so why wouldn't I tell them?

 

Anyway, nothing has been said since about me being gay. My mum doesn't like it - and we just don't mention it. I personally hate the fact as if there's anyone I want to be comfortable with it, it's her. But hey, for some reason it's difficult for her.

 

All my mates were cool with it. They try and set me up with other guys haha.

It's great the lots of people are fine with other people being gay these days. I know there are still people who hate it and can't understand and think it's a 'choice' we're making, but it's the same with anything.

 

Eventually when (and if!) I happen to meet someone who means enough to me that I want him to meet my family - the subject will have to be broached again...

But given I am virtually a monk right now, that conversation is on hold...

[Cube]

With regards to parents, you have to remember that our generation is the first where people in general started accepting it. For some people, it's just hard to adjust. It's not really closed-minds but more that they're not used to it.