Is it quiet in here? Or is it just me?

[jayseven]

Ain't life grand for the overthinker?

 

Beating yourself up over what others might be thinking, or what they aren't doing. Tired of treating others how you want to be treated... yet nobody is treating you that way? That unfateful philosophy isn't a karma wheel; it doesn't guarentee you anything. Issues of trust and faith? Past events reaching out of the depths and blinding you with the what-ifs? I don't know, man. Just rambling.

 

I have a meandering depression that worms up from my bones sometimes. Batting the feeling of wasting life versus life meaning nothing, anyway. Feeling like I've been dealt a bad hand, and whenever I play a disability card it doesn't seem to trump anything at all. No true control on the world.

 

Anyway - as such I don't get involved in social interactions much. I don't post on facebook walls much at all, or email people, or PM or whatever. As such, I imagine everyone sees me, sees that I don't interact with them, and just assume that they must be delegated to a lower rung of friendship, so they don't interact with me. The people I'd say were my closest friends, I've barely spoken to - and I have to acknowledge that can be a factor in them not talking to me.

 

So, because I'm a perennial slacker, I have the ability to rationalise the actions of others, and thus I can cope with what you seem to think is a lack of caring.

 

I have one friend who some sheffielders on here know (Jonno) who is a tad autistic, and as such he has a lot of socially inadequate 'moments'. I had the patience with him that others didn't, and he appreciated that, but through the years he's increasingly become more and more bipolar (pill munching doesn't help), and his constant "hey, how are you?" prelude to telling me he was depressed again was, frankly, extremely draining after a while. He never listened to the advice I gave, instead found the whole heartpouring cathartic. His mismatch understanding of what is, essentially, a scale that needs to be balanced with effort by both parties, is explainable by his cognitive inabilities -- but still... dude. It gets tiring. So the friendship 'evolved' into silence. The time where he kept trying to make out with me wasn't especially helpful, either.

 

Idofeelbad.jpg

 

willgetintouchagain.zip

 

 

I don't care if you don't, I don't care if you don't, I don't care if you don't care. We don't care.

 

As such, anyway.

[nightwolf]

I keep deleting my posts, it's taken me about five attempts, it's not really worth the rambling - because it's been said and done before and these days, I'm much better than I was.

 

So, in short, I do hope you'll be ok Falcon, it's a tough situation, because there's no quick-fix or pearls of wisdom I can give here.

 

It's always a little difficult writing messages like this, which is why I believe social networking/irl people do not engage when someone is down, because it's so hard to offer the right support, people are different from each other in what they want or need.

 

Perhaps we spend too much of our time assuming. Assumptions are certainly a very dangerous thing when it comes to friendships.

[Rummy]

Tbh I think this thread itself is a big contributer to the recent splurge of activity, rather than it being a summer slump. Will be interesting to see if things continue like this as the year goes on.

 

(also, i have read all but the above three posts properly, and feel it neccessary to point it out given it's somewhat about NOT reading posts, but I'm at work without time to compose a properly decent reply/keep a good track on a larger post)

[Diageo]

I've also read all above posts, including jayseven's spoilered autistic friend shenanigans.

 

I would try to give advice but I know I can't. I've never been depressed, I've found keeping the friendships of the people I like are incredibly easy. I have a large enough group of friends constituting of a group from college and a group from the area I grew up. I have disengaged with some friends I used to have but that is because I chose to, as we didn't get along as easily as I do with most of my friends, and our interactions felt forced.

 

I tend to be an optimistic and laid back person who is content most of the time because nothing catastrophically bad ever happens to me, and things that others get annoyed or stressed by, I tend to be able to shrug off, or make the most of it.

[Charlie]

(also, i have read all but the above three posts properly, and feel it neccessary to point it out given it's somewhat about NOT reading posts, but I'm at work without time to compose a properly decent reply/keep a good track on a larger post)

 

I actually find the opposite is true for me these days. When I'm at work I might post a few times throughout the day, especially over lunch, but in the evening and weekends I rarely go on NE.

[Jonnas]

I'm afraid I'm like Diageo with this one. I keep in touch with a small amount of good friends, and I have little trouble talking to them, so I'm unsure of how to help Falcon in this situation.

 

Though whenever there's an issue, I try to talk with someone I know who'll be discreet about it. Simply talking to someone about it helps to alleviate the conscience, even if they don't know how else to help you (though it needs to be someone with a decent understanding of the problem, of course), and if the issue is lack of initiative from others, then we're the ones who need to take it.

[EddieColeslaw]

Depression is weird, getting over it is so dependent on the sufferer - meds, love, friends, travelling, doing what you want, getting a job...it depends on what one's neuroses are. And sometimes it just refuses to go away. I want everyone I know to be happy but I can't really do anything about it. People always say "talk to someone about it, blabla" but I hate letting people know when I'm down so that wouldn't help me at all. Everyone fights it their own way. Read up on it and try everything, just know that you want to get better and you'll come across solutions in your own time. Meanwhile, take care of yourself.

 

Diageo, aren't you studying Psychology? Expected you to spout some textbook description :p

[Dannyboy-the-Dane]

I have read all the posts, but like others I'm afraid I don't have all that much to contribute. My philosophy is bottomless optimism coupled with a mind geared towards problem-solving; if I'm sad, I sit down and try to figure out exactly what's bothering me, why it's bothering me, and what I can do to solve it. There's a good deal of truth to the old saying: "If you can do something about it, why worry? If you can't do anything about it, why worry?"

 

Obviously this is all very simplified, and obviously I have had low periods that were tough to get out of, but time and time again my best tools have proven to be positivity - focusing on the positive - and rationality - trying to figure out a solution.

[Ville]

People always say "talk to someone about it, blabla" but I hate letting people know when I'm down so that wouldn't help me at all.

 

Yeah, I'm pretty much like that as well. If I really am depressed, then I'll just distance myself from other people so I can work it out in peace.

[Diageo]

Depression is weird, getting over it is so dependent on the sufferer - meds, love, friends, travelling, doing what you want, getting a job...it depends on what one's neuroses are. And sometimes it just refuses to go away. I want everyone I know to be happy but I can't really do anything about it. People always say "talk to someone about it, blabla" but I hate letting people know when I'm down so that wouldn't help me at all. Everyone fights it their own way. Read up on it and try everything, just know that you want to get better and you'll come across solutions in your own time. Meanwhile, take care of yourself.

 

Diageo, aren't you studying Psychology? Expected you to spout some textbook description :p

 

Ah, mental health problems are boring. And if you're able to post in this thread you're probably not suffering from depression, which is most times crippling, but dysthymia.

[jayseven]

Dysthymia is a type of depression. What you're saying is people here don't have severe or major depression.

 

Apathy is supposed to be "I nothing you" but most times it is received as "I actively do not care;" there's semantics involved but there's also the way emotions and perceptions work. Floating through life saying "my intentions are pure, therefore I can do no harm. Anyone who is upset by this has to deal with it themselves" doesn't really recognise the fact that you cause ripples, you leave a wake.

 

I did forget how 'blunt' you weres. I must try and remember that's simply because you state your opinions, and omit the bit where you also clarify that you are indeed just stating your opinion.

 

What is the purpose of you studying psychology? Do you have a goal?

[Diageo]

Sorry, I was referring to clinical depression. We only learn about depression in the clinical sense so I forgot to specify it as such.

 

Yes, I am known to be blunt, I don't know what I did in this thread to specifically call out that description but OK.

 

I guess my goal is to learn about psychology and then get a job out of it, probably in research. I like the more scientific areas so I'll probably be going into behaviourism, evolutionary psychology, neuropsychology, biological psychology and such. I don't have a set goal like I want to understand people so that I may do this, I just like to learn interesting things. Why?

[MoogleViper]

Just as a counter point. I've been skipping over any posts that are more than 3 sentences long.

[Rummy]

Ah, mental health problems are boring. And if you're able to post in this thread you're probably not suffering from depression, which is most times crippling, but dysthymia.

 

Personally, I'd disagree, and also point out that dysthymia still falls into the category of depression :P jay already did.

 

Ain't life grand for the overthinker?

 

Beating yourself up over what others might be thinking' date=' or what they [i']aren't[/i] doing. Tired of treating others how you want to be treated... yet nobody is treating you that way? That unfateful philosophy isn't a karma wheel; it doesn't guarentee you anything. Issues of trust and faith? Past events reaching out of the depths and blinding you with the what-ifs? I don't know, man. Just rambling.

 

Real Injury Lawyers...for you!

 

I actually find the opposite is true for me these days. When I'm at work I might post a few times throughout the day, especially over lunch, but in the evening and weekends I rarely go on NE.

 

I'd be on more, but I'm unfortunately positioned facing a wall with essentially the door behind me and a lot of foot traffic into the office for the printer next to me, meaning it's very obvious/easy to see when I'm on N-E, and given you're coming into the room just to grab something, I think my positioning makes me the 'thing you glance at' when walking into the room, half the time with me unawares.

[Happenstance]

Does anyone else think that the "Thanks" button could be a contributing factor to less activity? Ive noticed that sometimes i'll post something, it'll get a thanks but no proper reply so while someone has acknowledged the post you dont really get a chance to start up a conversation through it. I know weve had the Thanks button for quite a while now so its obviously not the main reason but personally im starting to think that it doesnt help the matter.

[Fierce_LiNk]

Does anyone else think that the "Thanks" button could be a contributing factor to less activity? Ive noticed that sometimes i'll post something, it'll get a thanks but no proper reply so while someone has acknowledged the post you dont really get a chance to start up a conversation through it. I know weve had the Thanks button for quite a while now so its obviously not the main reason but personally im starting to think that it doesnt help the matter.

 

What could the reply have been besides a "hahahaha" or something?

Take the funny stuff thread. It's clear people like the videos, but they don't need to give/waste a needless post to express that they like it. Facebook has the same sort of system and it's pretty easy to start up a dialogue that way.

 

Anyway, I think things have perked up a bit. For a while, at least. New blood is needed.

[MoogleViper]

Does anyone else think that the "Thanks" button could be a contributing factor to less activity? Ive noticed that sometimes i'll post something, it'll get a thanks but no proper reply so while someone has acknowledged the post you dont really get a chance to start up a conversation through it. I know weve had the Thanks button for quite a while now so its obviously not the main reason but personally im starting to think that it doesnt help the matter.

 

Is it not a little ironic that two people have thanked this post? Unless they were being intentionally ironic.

[Hero-of-Time]

Does anyone else think that the "Thanks" button could be a contributing factor to less activity? Ive noticed that sometimes i'll post something, it'll get a thanks but no proper reply so while someone has acknowledged the post you dont really get a chance to start up a conversation through it. I know weve had the Thanks button for quite a while now so its obviously not the main reason but personally im starting to think that it doesnt help the matter.

 

@Retro_Link brought this up a while back while we were discussing this very topic behind the scenes.

 

Anyway, I think things have perked up a bit. For a while, at least. New blood is needed.

 

On the general board maybe. New blood is certainly needed for some gaming banter.

[Happenstance]

What could the reply have been besides a "hahahaha" or something?

Take the funny stuff thread. It's clear people like the videos, but they don't need to give/waste a needless post to express that they like it. Facebook has the same sort of system and it's pretty easy to start up a dialogue that way.

 

Anyway, I think things have perked up a bit. For a while, at least. New blood is needed.

 

Well my example at the moment would be from the comics thread. I posted about something I was reading and got a thanks from ReZ and while its nice to get your post acknowledged thats not really why I post.

 

Yes it works well in the Funny thread but that doesnt mean it works well everywhere else.

[Daft]

Is it not a little ironic that two people have thanked this post? Unless they were being intentionally ironic.

 

Bazinga....

[Fierce_LiNk]

Well my example at the moment would be from the comics thread. I posted about something I was reading and got a thanks from ReZ and while its nice to get your post acknowledged thats not really why I post.

 

Yes it works well in the Funny thread but that doesnt mean it works well everywhere else.

 

From my experience, ReZ isn't shy to post. If he really thought he had something interesting to say in reply to your post, he would have said it. I think we can all agree on that one.

 

You can quite easily agree with what somebody is saying without feeling the need to add in a "filler" post saying that you agree. Hence why he "thanked" it.

[MoogleViper]

 

Bazinga....

 

I don't understand this sort of street talk, but I'm just going to go ahead and put a tick in the "intentional" box.

[Happenstance]

From my experience, ReZ isn't shy to post. If he really thought he had something interesting to say in reply to your post, he would have said it. I think we can all agree on that one.

 

You can quite easily agree with what somebody is saying without feeling the need to add in a "filler" post saying that you agree. Hence why he "thanked" it.

 

Ok then, another example from the same thread and same person. I made a post which had 2 or 3 separate points made in it about different comics. ReZ thanked it, I didnt know which thing he was thanking or agreeing with.

[Fierce_LiNk]

Ok then, another example from the same thread and same person. I made a post which had 2 or 3 separate points made in it about different comics. ReZ thanked it, I didnt know which thing he was thanking or agreeing with.

 

Ask him?

[Happenstance]

Ask him?

 

Which means I would have to wait 12 hours or whatever the time is to be able to add a new post to that thread.