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mollytristan

If you won the Texas lottery, what would you do?

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Why specificly the Texas lottery?

 

Would I do something different if it were the New York lottery? And something different still if I'd won the Euromillions Lottery?

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It seems to me that this 'mollytristan' may have in fact already won the Texas lottery, and is so utterly befuddled by the event, that it has caused them to ask a European Nintendo forum what to do with the winnings.

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Why specificly the Texas lottery?

 

Would I do something different if it were the New York lottery? And something different still if I'd won the Euromillions Lottery?

 

For starters, you wouldn't give over half of it to the tax man.

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Well, firstly i'd let the bloke who keeps asking for my help in transferring money from one account to another. I'm sure he'll need some of that. Then, i'd consider investing some in the purchase of tickets for the Illinois, Washington and North Carolina Lotteries. Then i'd buy an advert that explains a new "game" i've "invented" and post it in an EU Nintendo forum, like this one.

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I would combine it with my riches from the my friend who's a prince in Nigeria. Then I would Be Rich! Yay!

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If I won the Texas Lottery

(If I won the Texas Lottery)

Well, I'd buy Peeps a whore

(I would buy him a whore)

And if I won the Texas Lottery

(If I won the Texas Lottery)

Buy him condoms for his whore

Maybe a nice ribbed one or spermicidal

And if I won the Texas Lottery

(If I won the Texas Lottery)

Well, I'd buy Ine a K-car

So she could get that designer job

And if I won the Texas Lottery

I'd buy N-EEEEEEEEEEEEE

 

If I won the Texas Lottery

I'd build a tree fort in ReZ's yard

If I won the Texas Lottery

He could help 'cause it would make him hard

If I won the Texas Lottery

Maybe we could put a little tiny cage in there somewhere

 

(We could just go up there and hang out

Like, open the cage and stuff

And there'd be kids laid out for us... with little pre-wrapped sausages and things

Mmmm

They have pre-wrapped sausages, but you still go to jail if you unwrap them

Well, can you blame 'em?

Uh, yeah!)

 

If I won the Texas Lottery

(If I won the Texas Lottery)

Well, I'd stage the biggest mafia

(But not a real mafia, 'cause that's cruel)

And if I won the Texas Lottery

(If I won the Texas Lottery)

I'd buy you an exotic pet

Yep! Like a llama or maybe Diageo

And if I won the Texas Lottery

(If I won the Texas Lottery)

Well, I'd buy you Rokhed's remains

Oooh, all them crazy elephant bones (if you know what I mean)

And if I won the Texas Lottery

I'd buy N-EEEEEEEEEEEEE

 

If I won the Texas Lottery

I wouldn't have to post anymore

If I won the Texas Lottery

No, I'd pay an Indian 'cause it costs more

If I won the Texas Lottery

I wouldn't have to pretend to care about you guys

 

(But I would care

Of course I would, I'd just pretend not to

And buy really expensive jokes

That's right, all the fanciest jok- Comedy Rainbow!

Mmm)

 

If I won the Texas Lottery

(If I won the Texas Lottery)

Well, I'd stage the biggest meet

(But not a real meet 'cause that's cruel)

And if I won the Texas Lottery

(If I won the Texas Lottery)

Well, I'd buy you some art

A Hamish or a framed Goafer

And if I won the Texas Lottery

(If I won the Texas Lottery)

Well, I'd buy you a website

Haven't you always wanted a place where you could read European Nintendo news?!

And if I won the Texas Lottery

I'd buy N-EEEEEEEEEEEEE

 

If I won the Texas Lottery

(If I won the Texas Lottery)

If I won the Texas Lottery

(If I won the Texas Lottery)

If I won the Texas Looooootteeeeeery

I'd be rich

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I would combine it with my riches from the my friend who's a prince in Nigeria. Then I would Be Rich! Yay!

 

Hey, don't be so distrustful of Nigerian businessmen. Some are good to their word.

 

 

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Yep, as is the UK Lotto. Not assessed for income tax, either.

 

And apparently not considered on social welfare payments in the UK either.

 

I read a story the other week of an elderly couple in the UK (originally from Ireland too) who won the Euromillions but are still collecting UK social welfare (or is it pension?) payments.

 

They bought a house/mansion in Kerry in Ireland but still live in England to collect their payments as they say they worked their lives there and are intitled to it :heh:

 

 

I personally have this odd "fear" that the day I finally win a lotto or Euromillion jackpot (and it will happen, I keep havig dreams and I expect them to be showing me the future:heh:) will also be the first day the government start taxing the winnings like they do in the US.... the way the economy is going it really is only a matter of time

 

Imagine:

 

"wohoo I just won 15million euro"

 

collects cheque.... "hey I thought there was only one winning ticket sold for this jackpot where's the other 7.5million?"

 

Ok 7.5 is still a healthy sum... but still I'd be pissed if the advertised "jackpot" was one ammount, I was the only winner yet the cheque I get is only half what I expected :heh:

Edited by Mokong

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I wouldn't tell anyone I know until I had it all sorted and stuff. Then I'd surprise my parens by paying off their mortgage, buying them a new car, and dramatically increasing their retirement fund.

 

Then I'd set aside £500k for a massive vegas blowout for me and some select friends.

 

Someone else on the internet had a brilliant idea. You send all your friends a cheque with the provision that cashing it precludes them from ever asking you for money again.

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I highly doubt people would give as much money to their friends and family as they claim. you get paid every month, how much of that do you give to your family?

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If I won millions I'd give my mum and dad some money, and my sister. Buy myself a house, and a car, and the rest would go away in savings or whatevers... nice to dream!

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If I won the Texas Lottery

(If I won the Texas Lottery)

Well, I'd buy Peeps a whore

(I would buy him a whore)

And if I won the Texas Lottery

(If I won the Texas Lottery)

Buy him condoms for his whore

Maybe a nice ribbed one or spermicidal

And if I won the Texas Lottery

(If I won the Texas Lottery)

Well, I'd buy Ine a K-car

So she could get that designer job

And if I won the Texas Lottery

I'd buy N-EEEEEEEEEEEEE

 

If I won the Texas Lottery

I'd build a tree fort in ReZ's yard

If I won the Texas Lottery

He could help 'cause it would make him hard

If I won the Texas Lottery

Maybe we could put a little tiny cage in there somewhere

 

(We could just go up there and hang out

Like, open the cage and stuff

And there'd be kids laid out for us... with little pre-wrapped sausages and things

Mmmm

They have pre-wrapped sausages, but you still go to jail if you unwrap them

Well, can you blame 'em?

Uh, yeah!)

 

If I won the Texas Lottery

(If I won the Texas Lottery)

Well, I'd stage the biggest mafia

(But not a real mafia, 'cause that's cruel)

And if I won the Texas Lottery

(If I won the Texas Lottery)

I'd buy you an exotic pet

Yep! Like a llama or maybe Diageo

And if I won the Texas Lottery

(If I won the Texas Lottery)

Well, I'd buy you Rokhed's remains

Oooh, all them crazy elephant bones (if you know what I mean)

And if I won the Texas Lottery

I'd buy N-EEEEEEEEEEEEE

 

If I won the Texas Lottery

I wouldn't have to post anymore

If I won the Texas Lottery

No, I'd pay an Indian 'cause it costs more

If I won the Texas Lottery

I wouldn't have to pretend to care about you guys

 

(But I would care

Of course I would, I'd just pretend not to

And buy really expensive jokes

That's right, all the fanciest jok- Comedy Rainbow!

Mmm)

 

If I won the Texas Lottery

(If I won the Texas Lottery)

Well, I'd stage the biggest meet

(But not a real meet 'cause that's cruel)

And if I won the Texas Lottery

(If I won the Texas Lottery)

Well, I'd buy you some art

A Hamish or a framed Goafer

And if I won the Texas Lottery

(If I won the Texas Lottery)

Well, I'd buy you a website

Haven't you always wanted a place where you could read European Nintendo news?!

And if I won the Texas Lottery

I'd buy N-EEEEEEEEEEEEE

 

If I won the Texas Lottery

(If I won the Texas Lottery)

If I won the Texas Lottery

(If I won the Texas Lottery)

If I won the Texas Looooootteeeeeery

I'd be rich

 

Thanks you for the post.

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Man, the spam bot people things really like this thread for some reason.

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