Posted December 8, 2011 (edited) BATTLE OF THE GAME/QUIZ SHOWS. Legends have given us a wealth of inventive programmes which the nation has fallen in love with. But times are growing, many shows become dated, are remixed without notice and with disastrous results... The TV Channels convened. The room was massive but only a few lights illuminated key areas. It began with a random squabble over a new idea for a game show which involved piranhas and chronic diarrhoea, with a few questions thrown in for fun. For charity. “This is horseshit!” said the ITV chairman. “Fuck your formula!” replied the chairlady of Five. “Hey, both of you, shut it!” snapped the chairman of Channel 4. The leaders of BBC and Sky were busy making tea and talking about clams. After tea was served everyone calmed down and sat at the table in the middle of the room. “Alright” started the head of BBC, “Who brought us here?” “You should know why you’re here.” Spoke a woman from the shadows. She stepped forward and revealed herself to stop the leaders squinting into the darkness, it looked silly. She was dressed in a simple red suit, rather classy looking. “Your quiz and game shows, or whatever you want to call them have become stale. We need to shake things up. We’re going to pit them against each other and see which comes out strongest. Kill the host and the show will inevitably follow.” “Bullshit!” said the BBC, “Kill any host and I’ll get Graham Norton to rehost it in a flash” “Oh?” said the woman in red, she pointed to the wall behind them. The leaders turned around and were horrified by the scene that was suddenly lit up. Graham Norton was strapped to a guillotine. “Please...” he begged “I won’t do Eurovision anymore!” “Too late.” Said the woman. The blade fell and Norton was no more. BBC stood up and was about to open his mouth but the woman in red held up a hand. “Please don’t mention Bruce Forsyth, I really don’t want to kill him. I really loved Play Your Cards Right.” BBC sank back into his chair. “Now, I hope we see the futility of naming potential hosts. I’ve got them all lined up. Say a name, Dale Winton? Keith Chegwin? They’re here. Go on, mention Ant and Dec. I dare you” Eyes moved to ITV who put his head in his hands and started sobbing. The woman in red continued: “This isn’t a show you’re ruining for celebrities and for charity. This is good old fashioned fun for all the family. With murder. Gotta give it an edge” she winked at everyone. Silence followed. “What happens when the host dies?” asked Five. “Simple! You never make the show again. Ever.” Outrage broke out. “C’maahn don’t bullshit me!” “What if we did everything backwards?” “If Big Break was changed from snooker to pool would that be OK?” The woman in red just sat and waited for the complaints to die down. “Here’s a forfeit for you. If the show does not die with the host. You die instead.” There was no sound except the inaudible sound of cogs turning in the leaders’ heads... They could easily make a different show right? Losing Bargain Hunt wasn’t worth risking my life anyway, Wannacott was a twat... Better milk a few repeats of Midsomer Murders to stretch out the idea monkeys to think of something vaguely fresh... That diarrhoea idea is starting to sound very lucrative... “Capital! I consider your silence an acceptance. Inform your hosts. Many of them will die.” RULES Dead hosts tell no tales. One post for vented aggravation is allowed after being lynched/murdered) Days – roughly 48 hours. Will be extended if max discussion is happening. Can be cut shorter if there is minimal activity, but you will be warned if this is likely to happen. Or when majority is reached. Nights – 24 hours, depening on how much sleep I've had. But I'll keep myself on schedule. No talking outside games unless permitted No talking during the commercial breaks Standard mafia shizzle, no post editing/play nice etc. Direct PM quoting is allowed, but not encouraged. Your vote will automatically be considered No Lynch until you inform me otherwise. @Diaego @mr\-paul @Dazz @jayseven @Rummy @Tales The Lady in Red has called it. BEGIN. Part One. Votes in before the commercial break. Edited December 8, 2011 by EEVILMURRAY Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 8, 2011 Ok then, welcome everybody! My channel will have the best coverage of this game show so don't even bother with these others. Everything you need is right here. Vote: No lynch Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 8, 2011 So this is basically Battle Royale, except with show hosts? Vote: No Lynch Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 8, 2011 Vote: No Lynch Let's get started Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 8, 2011 Vote: heroicjanitor for his claim that he has a channel, not a show. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 8, 2011 Jayseven, is that your final answer? Vote: No Lynch After we come back from these commercials. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 8, 2011 BREAKING NEWS. TALES HAS JOINED THE SCHEDULLINGS. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 8, 2011 Vote: heroicjanitor for his claim that he has a channel, not a show. Not that any viewers heard you say this with ratings like those, but we will reply anyway. Most competing shows are on different channels. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 9, 2011 That's a very generous offer Mr Banker but: Vote: No Deal Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 9, 2011 Vote: Bring on the wall (by "wall" I mean the "wall of night". Or something.) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 9, 2011 Ey chook, if it can't be A B or C, it'll be no lynch Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 9, 2011 Looks pretty epic, roll on Vote:No lynch. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 9, 2011 We'll be right back after these messages. COMMERCIAL BREAK ONE. SEND IN YOUR TARGETS. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 10, 2011 BREAK ONE IS OVER Many investigations were conducted during the break. One man sat there doing nothing. Another sat around with his RC toys and twiddled his thumbs. One man was going to give wrong answer man some money, but decided he didn’t want to give him that and threw it at the man with the RC toys. One man decided it was best to protect himself and hide within his protected glass construct. A man with two orbs opened one to borrow something; afterwards he was set upon by a gray haired man and given strict instructions. After the gray haired man had left, someone had sex with the man with the orbs. A red haired woman saw two men approaching one another; she quickly put a wall between them both, when the wall disappeared one of them had changed. The one who hadn’t changed enhanced the new man. Bradley Walsh was about to receive some information before a glass wall sprung in front of him, he turned left to go around but found another wall. Right, another. Behind, another. Just when he thought he may, just may actually be safe during the break one of the walls shattered and a man with a podium in his hand stood before him. “I know you... you’re in that game... thingy... you know... the numbers thingy!” The man with the podium laughed before beating him to death. He smashed another wall on his way out. Afterwards he wondered why he bothered doing any of it at all. CUBE IS DEAD. HE WAS BRADLEY WALSH OF ODD ONE IN. HE WAS ABLE TO SEE WHAT POWERS PEOPLE USED AND WHAT POWERS WERE USED ON THEM. The woman in red walked over to Bradley Walsh as he lay there dying. “Oh dear...” she said. “H-help me...” screamed Walsh. “Nah, Peter Andre and that other smug twat piss me off.” And with that she walked away. Bradley’s last words were “I’ve... I’ve failed...” “No” said the woman, “There is another.” PART TWO BEGINS. Watchable: @mr\-paul @Dazz @jayseven @Rummy @Tales Cancelled: @Cube Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 10, 2011 Aaaaand we're back. Ladies and Gentlemen from the audience, I will need your assistance, here, these references fly past me, and I gained no useful info. Let the game begin! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 11, 2011 Yvonne... see target wave catchphrase silence? I can't really make out anything from the write-up besides that someone obviously protected themselves. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 11, 2011 I targeted something something something. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 11, 2011 oh of course it's I not see lol. Think I've got it now. I target(ed) (h)and (got) catchphrase silenced? So you have to talk with pictures for a day? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 11, 2011 So the person you targeted did it to you as a defence or do you think they targeted you? quote and tick where applicable Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
