severance

[Yvonne]

So I just now severed contact with a long term friend/ex who (short version) turned creepy and needy and has always been emotionally manipulative in the extreme and at my expense.

 

Has anyone else any experience with this? Good? Bad? Funny?

Edited August 25, 2011 by Yvonne

[jayseven]

Never anything massively immediate or, clearly, memorable.

 

I'm quite an understanding person, and it takes a fair bit for a friend to truly piss me off. If it does happen I'll 'snap' and be quite different and they'll know that they've surely done something wrong. But then also I tend to plaster over differences, and allow others a lot of character leeway. I find it's easier to process someone else's actions and explain them in my own head than it is to get them to understand how they are affecting me.

[Nintendohnut]

Totally severed all contact with my ex. Just a genuinely horrible person. She tried to contact me through MSN a year or two later but I told her I just didn't want to know her. I would gain nothing from her, so I have no need to talk to her - or at least that's how I see it.

 

As for other people, I don't ever tend to remove myself from people. I try to be nice to most people in case I am ever stuck with them for a long period of time/need them to do something for me This is another reason why I didn't mind cutting my ex from my life completely - I didn't need her for anything and she would have only made me unhappy when I spoke to her, so I figured I might as well get rid of her.

[Yvonne]

Yeah it's not nice to have to do, especially if they're tangled with mutual friends etc, but sometimes its gotta be done. Hopefully I won't have to do it any more :S

[Grazza]

We all have arguments, but the main reason I'd break contact is if they tried to hurt my feelings. It doesn't matter what we were arguing about, if they actually wanted to upset me, that means they are a nasty person and I won't have anything to do with them.

 

Either that or if I otherwise discovered they had very unpleasant values, such as cruelty etc. That's the one thing I can't stand - cruelty.

[jayseven]

If I were in your position, Yvonne, I'd maybe wonder why mutual friends have remained mutual. For me, it'd have to be something fairly major to sever ties -- and surely something major would include others in some way. Otherwise I'd get paranoid that it's just me, or something.

[Dan_Dare]

I did something similar a couple of years back. One of my long term friends was...well, in hindsight, a total cock pretty much as long as I'd known him. He was just staggeringly incompetent with people. Totally emotionally stunted and had no tact or naunce in his relationships. I'd had a kind of adversarial friendship with him for a while as he basically systematically isolated himself from every one of his former friends (my friends!). After a while, he became increasingly difficult to tolerate and, finally, he made a crack about my disability in front of a bunch of people I'd only recently met at university. I just decided enough was enough and cut all ties with him instantly. He just wasn't worth my time.

[EEVILMURRAY]

If I were in your position, Yvonne, I'd maybe wonder why mutual friends have remained mutual.

You mean to make these mutual friends decide? That'd just create more problems.

[ReZourceman]

I have a general rule of avoiding anyone I "do wrong by".

 

 

 

 

And when I say "do wrong by"......obviously....like....rape.

[jayseven]

I did something similar a couple of years back. One of my long term friends was...well, in hindsight, a total cock pretty much as long as I'd known him. He was just staggeringly incompetent with people. Totally emotionally stunted and had no tact or naunce in his relationships. I'd had a kind of adversarial friendship with him for a while as he basically systematically isolated himself from every one of his former friends (my friends!). After a while, he became increasingly difficult to tolerate and, finally, he made a crack about my disability in front of a bunch of people I'd only recently met at university. I just decided enough was enough and cut all ties with him instantly. He just wasn't worth my time.

I think I know who! He left a bad impression the first time I met. I ignored him wholely the 2nd (and last, I think?). Douche!

You mean to make these mutual friends decide? That'd just create more problems.

 

I mean; if they don't see a problem with the person in question that you do, then is there really a problem?

 

As opposed to divorcing the friend group too! Picking sides isn't what I mean. But i guess it's what I said :P

[Rummy]

I'm sorry Yvonne, please, you can't shut me out! I'll change, I promise. Give me one more try, think about all the good times! We had some real good times, didn't we? Honestly, I'm different now, I promise, I'm different! Just for you!

 

(can't give much constructive to the thread right now, though you have intrigued me :p)

 

I have a general rule of avoiding anyone I "do wrong by".

 

 

 

 

And when I say "do wrong by"......obviously....like....rape.

 

LAIZ!

[EEVILMURRAY]

(can't give much constructive to the thread right now, though you have intrigued me :p)

When a girl tries to break it off with Rummy:

 

 

You don't break up with Rummy. Rummy breaks up with you.

[Coolness Bears]

If I don't like you then I cut you out before you have the chance. :p BRUTAL GUY.

 

Otherwise freinds 4 Lief.

 

Plus once I tried to get rid of all my friends.

 

forever alone.

 

:p

[The Bard]

If I don't like you then I cut you out before you have the chance.

 

If I don't like you, I'll probably just cut you.

[EEVILMURRAY]

 

If I don't like you, I'll probably just cut you.

CRAAAAAAWLIING IIIN MY SKEEEEEEEEEEN.

[Raining_again]

THESE WOUNDS THEY WILL NOT HEAAAALLLL

 

 

 

...

 

 

sorry what was this thread about?

[jayseven]

This thread is now about Linkin Park.

 

(recently listened to Hybrid Theory and tbf still love it :P)

[Iun]

My ex went all psycho when I thought everything was cool. It's probably because I told her I was going to marry my new girlfriend.

 

Maybe shouldn't have done that while I was still dating the ex, but hey.

 

Actually, joking aside, this girl went mental: she called me fifty times in one day, then when blocked her number she started using her friends' number. So I called her friend and asked her to please stop letting her use her phone. She agreed this was not normal behavior.

 

Then the ex sends me text messages and phone calls threatening the students at my school. And that was when...

 

 

...I changed my goddamn phone number, told her stop acting like a little bitch and go fuck a horse.

[jayseven]

Wait I thought you had a wife/fiancé?

[Magnus]

Everyone always seems to date crazy people. Or there's something in the act of breaking up with someone that makes people crazy. They're probably telling their online friends about their crazy exes who refuse to talk to them even though they've tried calling them fifty times a day, and then their exes had the nerve to tell their friends - leave their friends out of this! - that they shouldn't lend them their cellphones.

 

 

I once left an online community after nearly seven years, but I guess that's not really the same thing as cutting all ties with someone in real life. I used to have nightmares about posting on the forums again.

 

I was once the severee when an online friend of several years suddenly blocked me from reading his blog, and then a few weeks later blocked me on MSN as well. When I emailed him about it, he said that he didn't like talking to me anymore. It was very upsetting at the time, but when I was thinking about it the other day after seeing this thread, I realized that we've been ex-friends longer than we were friends. Kind of put the whole thing into perspective.

[Iun]

Wait I thought you had a wife/fiancé?

 

Now I do, yes. But this was 2008 - before I married her. The crazy ex was before the slightly less crazy, but can't be trusted with more than 10p in her wallet wife.

[Yvonne]

Ah the thread has grown. I dig

 

Jay - it's a very recent thing, so I dunno if news has propagated much. I know with one or two people it will make things awkward but mostly her group is more satellite.

 

I TRIED SO HARD AND GOT SO FAR AND IN THE END IT DOESNT EVEN MAAAATTERRR

 

oh man you guys have reminded me of the linkin park game. I will explain the rules later. They're very simple.

 

Yeah Rummy I dunno how much you know about it but we could take it to PM, I don't want to name names.

[Dan_Dare]

I think I know who! He left a bad impression the first time I met. I ignored him wholely the 2nd (and last, I think?). Douche!

 

 

Yeah. You know. Exactly my point..

[ReZourceman]

I am basically in love with Iun.

[MoogleViper]

I am basically in love with Iun.

 

Back of the line mister.