Posted November 23, 2011 Well, the thing is Dazz, I think there are 2 types of people. People who feel there are certain places and certain times for courting other people, and those who believe all’s fair game. You need to be the latter. See a cute girl on the bus? Go sit next to her and make your move. In the supermarket? Do your thing. Basically say hi to every lone girl you see when doing every day things. If you really need a “proper†excuse, go do the usual group activity things. Follow a course.. A language course for example, or take up a sport. Edit: took too long to post. I think that's my problem right there, I don't think all's fair game and I think I should do. I never used to be afraid of rejection because I used to think that it was just part of life and get on with it but now I kind of do fear it for some reason. Just out of nowhere, I didn't want to look like a complete dick and now I fear rejection. Such a weird feeling! You're totally right though, both you and Eddie. I need to just get in there and do it without thinking too much, which is my main problem. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 23, 2011 I know how you feel, I’m not exactly a smooth operator myself. The thing is, you’ll miss a lot of opportunities if you always need a proper excuse to start a conversation. Just say hi, and well just babble. Coherently. If you know what I mean . If you fail miserably, take comfort in the fact you’ll only experience a bit of awkwardness for a minute, then you’ll never have to see her again. Anyway, take a cue from the dude on your avatar how to please the ladies: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 23, 2011 (edited) True but usually I don't exactly do the chasing since I don't know when I go in The Friend Zone. I've mostly been the chased so I wouldn't even know how to start the conversation off and the last thing I want is to be The Brother, which is the problem I'm kind of having since I think I overthink it. Because sometimes I just think 'what if she likes me and I don't have her number' or something like that. What would I do then? Would I ask for her number or what? Sorry, late night musings and all that, haha. Don't read about the friend zone, nice guys come last, ladder theory, and all of that (all written by bitter men who give up too easily imo - instead of sitting around theorising about attraction, go out and attract someone... /rant). It'll become something like a self-fulfilling prophecy! Just ask for a number no matter what. If you get a no, just thank her for the chat, wish her a nice day, and move on without dwelling on it. Actually, I just thought of a cooler way - say that you had a nice chat and would like to keep in touch, so how about swapping numbers/meeting up again/going somewhere? That way it's not a one-sided phone number hunt! If someone's nasty or makes you feel bad about refusing to give their number, then you can happily move on because you don't want to go out with a mean person, anyway. Go out and start chatting to people! Don't take it too seriously or put pressure on yourself - aim for a nice chat rather than an ultimate soulmate encounter, and you'll be fine Edited November 23, 2011 by EddieColeslaw Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 23, 2011 Since I lost weight I just get approached (IRL or Facebook) by people all the time. People not looking for anything serious/heavy. It's prime. *dances out of room to the tune of...* [/REALLYunhelpful] Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 23, 2011 I'm sorry Henry. I just couldn't help myself So confused about my current sitch. I know if it was someone else I would have told them to chuck it but pff. I just kind of want to shake him. [/rambling out loud] Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 23, 2011 I've mostly been the chased so I wouldn't even know how to start the conversation off "Daddy's home" or Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 23, 2011 I know how you feel, I’m not exactly a smooth operator myself. The thing is, you’ll miss a lot of opportunities if you always need a proper excuse to start a conversation. Just say hi, and well just babble. Coherently. If you know what I mean . If you fail miserably, take comfort in the fact you’ll only experience a bit of awkwardness for a minute, then you’ll never have to see her again. Anyway, take a cue from the dude on your avatar how to please the ladies: Yeah, I need to get myself in that mindset. It's the awkwardness I fear really but you're right, she's a complete stranger so why does it matter anyway? Also, Animal is just a legend, haha. Don't read about the friend zone, nice guys come last, ladder theory, and all of that (all written by bitter men who give up too easily imo - instead of sitting around theorising about attraction, go out and attract someone... /rant). It'll become something like a self-fulfilling prophecy! Just ask for a number no matter what. If you get a no, just thank her for the chat, wish her a nice day, and move on without dwelling on it. Actually, I just thought of a cooler way - say that you had a nice chat and would like to keep in touch, so how about swapping numbers/meeting up again/going somewhere? That way it's not a one-sided phone number hunt! If someone's nasty or makes you feel bad about refusing to give their number, then you can happily move on because you don't want to go out with a mean person, anyway. Go out and start chatting to people! Don't take it too seriously or put pressure on yourself - aim for a nice chat rather than an ultimate soulmate encounter, and you'll be fine I must be honest and say The Friend Zone or The Brother thing is something I've experienced...too many times...There were some girls I asked out and they said "I think of you as a brother" and others that say "Nah, I just think of you as a friend". I'm not bitter against it or anything and I like the friendship for the most part but it's a little awkward since they know you like them more than friends and it's not easy being attracted to someone more than they are to you and it's hardly the same. The idea's a really good one, I think I could do that. It's something I need to be brave in and just do without a moment's hesitation - since that's the very thing that stops me. I might actually try it today, haha. It's strange though because I never used to be like this. I was always flirting and talking to girls and things like that but now I actually think about the outcome and stuff (I did think about it before but I didn't really care). Thank you guys for the advice and pep talk, really needed it. Basically, just go in, talk and after a chat, ask for a number? Sounds easier said than done but not impossible So confused about my current sitch. I know if it was someone else I would have told them to chuck it but pff. I just kind of want to shake him. [/rambling out loud] 'sup brah? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 23, 2011 Don't read about the friend zone, nice guys come last, ladder theory, and all of that (all written by bitter men who give up too easily imo - instead of sitting around theorising about attraction, go out and attract someone... /rant). It'll become something like a self-fulfilling prophecy! Just ask for a number no matter what. If you get a no, just thank her for the chat, wish her a nice day, and move on without dwelling on it. Actually, I just thought of a cooler way - say that you had a nice chat and would like to keep in touch, so how about swapping numbers/meeting up again/going somewhere? That way it's not a one-sided phone number hunt! If someone's nasty or makes you feel bad about refusing to give their number, then you can happily move on because you don't want to go out with a mean person, anyway. Go out and start chatting to people! Don't take it too seriously or put pressure on yourself - aim for a nice chat rather than an ultimate soulmate encounter, and you'll be fine A very inspiring post - this is something I must start doing. Although I would have no idea what to say after the initial "hi" (if I even had enough courage for that). Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 23, 2011 A very inspiring post - this is something I must start doing. Although I would have no idea what to say after the initial "hi" (if I even had enough courage for that). Glad to be of some help! Talk about something in the immediate surroundings to establish a feeling of having something in common That's why in a shop/concert/event is good, because you immediately have something to talk about. Once you get talking, let your personality do the work. You're all on your own from here, since I'm not a guy and don't have any actual experience of chatting up a girl :p Just...be smiley and friendly. DON'T appear nervous or (nonendearingly) awkward, it's extremely off-putting. And don't give up!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 23, 2011 Glad to be of some help! Talk about something in the immediate surroundings to establish a feeling of having something in common That's why in a shop/concert/event is good, because you immediately have something to talk about. Once you get talking, let your personality do the work. You're all on your own from here, since I'm not a guy and don't have any actual experience of chatting up a girl :p Just...be smiley and friendly. DON'T appear nervous or (nonendearingly) awkward, it's extremely off-putting. And don't give up!! I think I can handle that. Talking is no problem but it's what to talk about that is but yeah, it's better in places where you go since you can talk about whatever is in the environment, as you said. Thanks Eddie! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 23, 2011 I have an interesting little story on that topic. I met a girl on the bus not too long ago who was travelling with her cat (I assume it had just been at the vet), and my love for cats eventually trumphed the awkwardness of speaking to a stranger on the bus, so I commented on how calm her cat seemed for a bus ride. We then had a nice little chat, and I was surprised at how easily the conversation flowed once it had been opened, especially considering how awkward I can be in such situations. Flirting was never the thing on my mind, I just thought her cat was cute, and I think that's why there was none of the typical awkwardness or fear of rejection. I think that's the important thing - to just relax and not worry too much. What is there to lose? And once you relax, you start to rest in yourself and open up, and then there's suddenly a world of possibilities. Now to actually learn to practice that in real life. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 23, 2011 Is it just me, or does anyone else get the impression that Eddie gets chatted up a lot? :p I have an interesting little story on that topic. I met a girl on the bus not too long ago who was travelling with her cat (I assume it had just been at the vet) Maybe if you'd asked her out, you'd found out that she takes her cat with her everywhere. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 23, 2011 I have an interesting little story on that topic. I met a girl on the bus not too long ago who was travelling with her cat (I assume it had just been at the vet), and my love for cats eventually trumphed the awkwardness of speaking to a stranger on the bus, so I commented on how calm her cat seemed for a bus ride. We then had a nice little chat, and I was surprised at how easily the conversation flowed once it had been opened, especially considering how awkward I can be in such situations. Flirting was never the thing on my mind, I just thought her cat was cute, and I think that's why there was none of the typical awkwardness or fear of rejection. I think that's the important thing - to just relax and not worry too much. What is there to lose? And once you relax, you start to rest in yourself and open up, and then there's suddenly a world of possibilities. It's strange that it went well for you. I usually get a very different reaction when I open a conversation by talking about a girl's pussy. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 23, 2011 It's strange that it went well for you. I usually get a very different reaction when I open a conversation by talking about a girl's pussy. And the inevitable slap when you ask if you can stroke it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 23, 2011 And the inevitable slap when you ask if you can stroke it. And the inevitable call to the police when I suggest cutting it up to make strings for my violin. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 23, 2011 Question: Do girls find glasses attractive, unattractive, or are they totally indifferent? I know this question assumes a generalisation of gender opinion, but I guess if I get a wide enough sample of answers, I can aggregate to get a decent indication of my chances Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 23, 2011 Question: Do girls find glasses attractive, unattractive, or are they totally indifferent? I know this question assumes a generalisation of gender opinion, but I guess if I get a wide enough sample of answers, I can aggregate to get a decent indication of my chances Depends on the person. Some people look good with glasses, some look better without. Might depend on the glasses too. I don't know. =P Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 23, 2011 'sup brah? Long story. Can't be bothered to explain other than apparently the amount of alcohol affects someone's attraction to me. Question: Do girls find glasses attractive, unattractive, or are they totally indifferent? I know this question assumes a generalisation of gender opinion, but I guess if I get a wide enough sample of answers, I can aggregate to get a decent indication of my chances My housemate likes hipster glasses...is that sample representative enough for you? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 23, 2011 Is it just me, or does anyone else get the impression that Eddie gets chatted up a lot? :p Do you think this is a case of "pics or it hasn't happened?" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 23, 2011 Depends on the person. Some people look good with glasses, some look better without. Might depend on the glasses too. I don't know. =P Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 23, 2011 You're right Michael. That chipmunk does look more attractive than you. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 23, 2011 (edited) If you were going for “mafia scumnag” you’ve totally succeeded . Edit: On the subject of glasses: when looking at girls I think I generally prefer girls without glasses, but as always I make exceptions. Some girls simply look totally hot with glasses, and I can’t imagine them without them. I assume it’s the other way around as well. Like Eenuh says, it depends on the person. But if they bother you, you can always wear contacts.. I wear glasses, but I like ’m, and I’d never put up with the inconvenience of contacts. Just make sure you pick the right pair of glasses for you, treat them as an accessory, because that’s what they are. Pick them like you pick your clothing. I never liked my glasses before, untill I consciously picked one (designer brand) myself. Edited November 23, 2011 by Sméagol Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 23, 2011 Maybe if you'd asked her out, you'd found out that she takes her cat with her everywhere. I don't think so, since she said it was quite stressed despite seeming calm. So I hope she doesn't take it with her everywhere! It's strange that it went well for you. I usually get a very different reaction when I open a conversation by talking about a girl's pussy. I knew this was coming. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 23, 2011 I love how you're bending down to get in the picture even though you're in it by a metre and Mario is twice your size. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 23, 2011 glasses; hot no teethbrushing; not not not not hot... (but then I'd go mental if someone took my very expensive sonic toothbrush, so possibly biased) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
