Kurtle Squad

Love? Relationships? Boy girl stuff? Complaints and appraisals! Gifs be welcome.

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Anyone got any tips for POF? I don't seem to get any responses versus tinder where I do rather well

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Could be worse. I hugged Maddie on our first date and poked her in the eye with my jacket. I'm still with her, although only God knows how I managed it.

 

One of my first dates with Ali I cut into a tomato and the juice squirted all over her!

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So, progress report, one of her friends spilled the beans to me today that the girl I hung out with yesterday has apparently taken an interest in me. Given my lack of confidence I can only assume this is all an elaborate joke, but I went ahead and asked her if she feels like hanging out later on in the week if she's free.

 

So apparently we're hanging out Saturday night but, just like yesterday, it's not just going to be the two of us. Luckily with how this language works, I was able to turn her message around slightly, it essentially translated to "Shall we invite ___?" (implying she wants me to invite them as the person in question doesn't speak Japanese) and instead of going "Sure" I said what basically means "It's okay to invite ____" (liberating myself from the role of inviting her). Waited to see how that would pan out, and like I said earlier, there's going to be a third person heh.

 

I'll see how this goes for a while, not sure if it's a cultural thing or not but if I can't get rid of the third wheel after a couple of attempts I'll just flat out ask if she's okay with it just being the two of us or just bail. Very weird stuff. The mutual friend of ours seems trustworthy and was really gunning for me to rally confidence and do something about it, but inviting the third person makes it seem like she's uninterested in that way? That'd be a red flag back in the UK.

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Could be worse. I hugged Maddie on our first date and poked her in the eye with my jacket. I'm still with her, although only God knows how I managed it.

 

Some might say she was blinded by love.

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So, just over a week ago before my holiday I did actually catch up with the person from work just before she left, I was on my break anyway so as she was leaving I mentioned that I have the week off and wondered if she wanted to hang out or whatever... (it came out as something dumb like that)

 

She said that she's kind of busy at the moment what with work, life and that she only really gets one full day off... so I said OK, no worries but here... *passes a piece of paper with name/number on* if you do get a chance to then give me a call if you like.

 

And I think I said something like... You're a really nice person, then it was kind of like awkward, anyway... see you later, bye. :red:

 

The next day though... she was definitely avoiding eye contact and seeming like she didn't want to talk so I just kept my head down, got through the day (as I knew I was on holiday after that) but damn did I feel awful. :hmm:

 

I've had a week off now, I'm back to work tomorrow and am going in ealier than usual as I'm helping them out but I'm kind of dreading it now a bit, perhaps a week will have been long enough... maybe it will have been "forgotten" but I just really hope that I haven't made things super awkward now, if I have then I know that I'm going to feel awful about it, I probably should as well on some level. :(

 

What do you reckon? Should I just not mention it unless it's mentioned? If things are weird then I think I should maybe apologise if I get the chance at least... perhaps it'll be fine though and I'm just worrying about nothing. ::shrug:

 

Suffice to say, I never seem to learn... but I wouldn't have done it if I didn't think there was a chance, looking back now though I just wonder if it was all in my head. :indeed:

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I was in a similar situation ages ago and I just carried on as if nothing happened. No need to bring it up unless she does. Why make things more awkward than it needs to be?

 

For me, things just went back to normal after a while. Stayed friends and no awkwardness.

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You're right Goafer, I'll just try and carry on as normal. :)

 

I don't think it's that bad, it's just my tendency to overthink things. :p

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So, progress report, one of her friends spilled the beans to me today that the girl I hung out with yesterday has apparently taken an interest in me. Given my lack of confidence I can only assume this is all an elaborate joke, but I went ahead and asked her if she feels like hanging out later on in the week if she's free.

 

So apparently we're hanging out Saturday night but, just like yesterday, it's not just going to be the two of us. Luckily with how this language works, I was able to turn her message around slightly, it essentially translated to "Shall we invite ___?" (implying she wants me to invite them as the person in question doesn't speak Japanese) and instead of going "Sure" I said what basically means "It's okay to invite ____" (liberating myself from the role of inviting her). Waited to see how that would pan out, and like I said earlier, there's going to be a third person heh.

 

I'll see how this goes for a while, not sure if it's a cultural thing or not but if I can't get rid of the third wheel after a couple of attempts I'll just flat out ask if she's okay with it just being the two of us or just bail. Very weird stuff. The mutual friend of ours seems trustworthy and was really gunning for me to rally confidence and do something about it, but inviting the third person makes it seem like she's uninterested in that way? That'd be a red flag back in the UK.

 

I wouldn't say it's too weird for things like this to happen here. The culture of group dating here is pretty ingrained as the way things work. Rather than getting rid of the 3rd person I'd imagine you'd have better luck adding someone else and push it in the direction of two pairs rather than one group of three.

 

Also, sounds like a right pain if the two people aren't bilingual (though I may be mis-reading the above).

 

For someone with a supposed lack of confidence you seem to be quite the fast mover... :D

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I wouldn't say it's too weird for things like this to happen here. The culture of group dating here is pretty ingrained as the way things work. Rather than getting rid of the 3rd person I'd imagine you'd have better luck adding someone else and push it in the direction of two pairs rather than one group of three.

 

Also' date=' sounds like a right pain if the two people aren't bilingual (though I may be mis-reading the above).

 

For someone with a supposed lack of confidence you seem to be quite the fast mover... :D[/quote']

 

Last time I was here I ended up dating an American so I didn't get to experience much of the dating culture, though this brings in a new hurdle. The girl she's inviting has a boyfriend but we don't know for certain if she's coming, so I'm just going to roll with whatever happens and try to overlook my lack of self confidence and actually pay attention to hints.

 

Girl I'm making a move on speaks very little English and wants practice, girl she's inviting along doesn't speak any Japanese at all. Hope that clarifies things, and how I might end up as interpreter for the night heh

 

Her friend definitely pushed the idea in to my head to at least arrange something. Not exactly a loss if nothing happens, but maybe I can at least work out whether there's something there or not from it.

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Yeah I'd say just go along with it and see where things end up. The one great thing is you can always play the culture-clash card when/if things go wrong.

 

How do you guys all know each other?

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Yeah I'd say just go along with it and see where things end up. The one great thing is you can always play the culture-clash card when/if things go wrong.

 

How do you guys all know each other?

 

Genius idea, I'll definitely have to play that!

 

So I'm currently at a guest house until I get a job and a decent pay coming through each month before I go apartment searching. The girl I've got my sights on (And apparently has her sights set on me) was a guest of someone who lives here when they had a party the other weekend, I couldn't make it due to other plans but when I got back they were all still there and me and her sat talking for a couple of hours.

 

As much as I don't really dig not having my own private shower or toilet, meeting people this quickly and easily is a good perk, even if I already have friends in this city already.

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And here Serebii worried about getting stabbed in the eye all these years.

I should have known, it's the way to love!

 

All those years wasted worrying...

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So, just over a week ago before my holiday I did actually catch up with the person from work just before she left, I was on my break anyway so as she was leaving I mentioned that I have the week off and wondered if she wanted to hang out or whatever... (it came out as something dumb like that)

 

She said that she's kind of busy at the moment what with work, life and that she only really gets one full day off... so I said OK, no worries but here... *passes a piece of paper with name/number on* if you do get a chance to then give me a call if you like.

 

And I think I said something like... You're a really nice person, then it was kind of like awkward, anyway... see you later, bye. :red:

 

The next day though... she was definitely avoiding eye contact and seeming like she didn't want to talk so I just kept my head down, got through the day (as I knew I was on holiday after that) but damn did I feel awful. :hmm:

 

I've had a week off now, I'm back to work tomorrow and am going in ealier than usual as I'm helping them out but I'm kind of dreading it now a bit, perhaps a week will have been long enough... maybe it will have been "forgotten" but I just really hope that I haven't made things super awkward now, if I have then I know that I'm going to feel awful about it, I probably should as well on some level. :(

 

What do you reckon? Should I just not mention it unless it's mentioned? If things are weird then I think I should maybe apologise if I get the chance at least... perhaps it'll be fine though and I'm just worrying about nothing. ::shrug:

 

Suffice to say, I never seem to learn... but I wouldn't have done it if I didn't think there was a chance, looking back now though I just wonder if it was all in my head. :indeed:

 

Only has to be as awkward as you make it. It sounds like it's not a possibility right now so write it off and carry on as usual. A couple of my good female friends now are actually girls I asked out at some point even if nothing came of it. If anything it makes everything even easier as the awkwardness of not knowing is all out of the way! Don't mention it, don't apologise - just don't think of it as a possibility and carry on as normal.

 

As for not doing it if you didn't think there was a chance - kinda as above sometimes just do it anyway to get it out of the way(obvs don't neccessarily just ask out every girl you meet, but like...if there's any interest on your part do it and get it over with sort of thing).

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Yeah, in my experience it's really only as awkward as people make it. I've expressed interest in, asked out and even gone on dates with friends without it going anywhere, and I've never had any awkwardness; for me the awkwardness stems from the uncertainty - how does she feel about me, is there any reciprocal interest, etc. Once I know how she feels, I'm all good; and I never feel like I've been met with awkwardness, either - in fact, in none of the cases has it negatively impacted the friendship to any extent that I've noticed. If anything, I feel like the openness and honesty often diminishes any potential awkwardness. (I have typed the word "awkwardness" far too many times in this paragraph.)

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Well, today was the day, and fuck me what a disaster aha. So just a recap for those who didn't see or can't remember, got tipped off that a certain cutie I had taken an interest in has taken an interest in me so I invited her to hang out for lunch and go to the arcade. She invited a girl to come with us who's also a friend of mine, some one who can't speak Japanese whilst she can't speak English.

 

So I spent most of the time translating back and forth which was a pain in the ass, but fuck the lunch was so embarrassing. Figured I'd go for some nice pork rice bowl and it came with some miso soup, fucking A. But no, it's served in one of those weird bowls that has another bowl covering the top and thanks to the beauty of physics, the heat created a seal and as soon as I pried it open the fucker went all over me. I asked both of them to kill me, but unfortunately I still seem to be living.

 

Game center was pretty good, but out of consideration for the other girl who doesn't really like games, we didn't really hit up like the rhythm games like we were intending to and stuck to safe bets like Mario Kart and the crane games. Hit up the local park and chilled for a while as it was a bizarrely warm day for October, 25 degrees around 1pm. Still doing my translating shit so no one was left out, but ironically after it all ended I felt like the one left out because of all of the leg work I had to do to maintain the conversation.

 

A fun yet embarrassing day, but in the end pretty disappointing as it turned out I was the third wheel when I was the one who came up with idea to go out aha. Going to pull the plug on putting in any more effort as I think what she was interested in was the fact that I speak English and Japanese rather than interested in me as a person (very common issue from my experience in Japan), so I'm going to test the water by retreating a bit and seeing how she reacts. It wouldn't have felt too bad if I actually learned more about her so I could work out if I actually dig her, but oh well!

 

A barmaid from a bar I frequent got in touch asking me to hang out on Saturday but I had plans already, so we might be seeing each other this week. Guess I'll see how that goes instead!

Edited by Debug Mode

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Thought I may have had a breakthrough on Friday night , turns out I was incorrect . My god this is harder than uni . Starting to get the feeling I have wasted a year of my life now . Not ideal

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I'm going to test the water by retreating a bit and seeing how she reacts. It wouldn't have felt too bad if I actually learned more about her so I could work out if I actually dig her, but oh well!

 

A barmaid from a bar I frequent got in touch asking me to hang out on Saturday but I had plans already, so we might be seeing each other this week. Guess I'll see how that goes instead!

Seems like a good approach. Also sounds like women are just flinging themselves at you over there :p I'd take your time, be calm and cool and it you'll find something good soon enough. The process of the date itself gets better with experience, just think: you'll never point a soup lid at yourself (or a date!) again ;) The hard part is usually finding people and getting started, and you seem to have that bit down.

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Finally had a grown up discussion :D all good.

 

Woo!

 

And for those who are less succesfull, here's some dating advice:

 

cat_face.gif

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And for those who are less succesfull, here's some dating advice:

 

cat_face.gif

 

Can confirm, works every time.

 

if you're the cat

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I can't seem to get any responses on POF but quite a lot on tinder . Same profile , any ideas what my issue could be ?

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I can't seem to get any responses on POF but quite a lot on tinder . Same profile , any ideas what my issue could be ?

Simple, on Tinder they have already matched with you, they want you to message them, they swipe through dozens of profiles at their own leisure. On PoF etc. they are totally buried in messages and only the best of the best even have a chance of standing out.

 

If it helps, I met my girlfriend (:p) on Tinder. Wasn't meant to be a thing for either of us, but ended up being a thing.

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