Kurtle Squad

Love? Relationships? Boy girl stuff? Complaints and appraisals! Gifs be welcome.

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Completely hypothetical question: let's say, for example, the only time you see someone is in a place where it seems odd to ask someone out (for example, a doctor's surgery as she's the receptionist), what would be the best way to ask if she wants to grab some dinner/drinks?

 

And should I ask if she wants KFC?

 

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To answer your question in that scenario the only acceptable pick up is, "are you a Doctor? because you cured my erectile dysfunction!"

or

"Can i take your temperature? because you are looking hot today" (optional say it like Too-Day and do a sassy black woman finger snap and an mmmHmmmm)

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I suppose I should just ask. I've got an appointment on Friday, so no harm in doing so.

 

It's not a completely random person - I knew her in school.

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I suppose I should just ask. I've got an appointment on Friday, so no harm in doing so.

 

It's not a completely random person - I knew her in school.

 

You've got a good basis then and starting point on the conversation, ask a few questions about what she's done since school etc, but make sure to ask very very close to you being called into your appointment, then just as you are called you can tell her how nice it was to chat and you'd like to do it again, offer coffee or something similar - that way the appointments limits potential for awkward chat, getting too much info and provides a get out if she says something that turns you off (e.g married, has 12 children, eats babies ::shrug:)

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Or chat with her before you go in for the appointment, and then ask her on your way out.

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Or chat with her before you go in for the appointment, and then ask her on your way out.

 

Definitely better to ask on the way out. Just in case it is herpes.

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Or chat with her before you go in for the appointment, and then ask her on your way out.

 

*imagines scenario* Damn that's smooth. Yes, do this!

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So I went on the date on Sunday. We went to Pizza Hut and both of us shared a big-ass Ultimate Meat Feast pizza (both of us said it was our favourite) with cheesy bites and bottomless drinks. It came to £25 and was practically wanting to pay for it. After I told her a million times I'm paying, I actually finally paid for a date.

 

So we looked around the town centre, holding hands (because we cute as fuck like dat) and she wanted to stop in this coffee shop where she ordered two massive deluxe hot chocolates and told me she was definitely paying for them. I got my money out but she gave the assistant her money so she ended up paying.

 

Walked her to her car, spoke a little, had a few nice kisses and said goodbye.

 

Very nice date :)

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So I went on the date on Sunday. We went to Pizza Hut and both of us shared a big-ass Ultimate Meat Feast pizza (both of us said it was our favourite) with cheesy bites and bottomless drinks. It came to £25 and was practically wanting to pay for it. After I told her a million times I'm paying, I actually finally paid for a date.

 

So we looked around the town centre, holding hands (because we cute as fuck like dat) and she wanted to stop in this coffee shop where she ordered two massive deluxe hot chocolates and told me she was definitely paying for them. I got my money out but she gave the assistant her money so she ended up paying.

 

Walked her to her car, spoke a little, had a few nice kisses and said goodbye.

 

Very nice date :)

 

Sounds like an excellent date. Nicely done!

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So I went on the date on Sunday. We went to Pizza Hut and both of us shared a big-ass Ultimate Meat Feast pizza (both of us said it was our favourite) with cheesy bites and bottomless drinks. It came to £25 and was practically wanting to pay for it. After I told her a million times I'm paying, I actually finally paid for a date.

 

So we looked around the town centre, holding hands (because we cute as fuck like dat) and she wanted to stop in this coffee shop where she ordered two massive deluxe hot chocolates and told me she was definitely paying for them. I got my money out but she gave the assistant her money so she ended up paying.

 

Walked her to her car, spoke a little, had a few nice kisses and said goodbye.

 

Very nice date :)

 

Shit mate, no KFC?

 

Sounds good pal, well played.

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So I went on the date on Sunday. We went to Pizza Hut and both of us shared a big-ass Ultimate Meat Feast pizza (both of us said it was our favourite) with cheesy bites and bottomless drinks. It came to £25 and was practically wanting to pay for it. After I told her a million times I'm paying, I actually finally paid for a date.

 

So we looked around the town centre, holding hands (because we cute as fuck like dat) and she wanted to stop in this coffee shop where she ordered two massive deluxe hot chocolates and told me she was definitely paying for them. I got my money out but she gave the assistant her money so she ended up paying.

 

Walked her to her car, spoke a little, had a few nice kisses and said goodbye.

 

Very nice date :)

 

fastshow_zps2aqdzzm6.gif

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She wasn't there today. I am disappoint.

 

I'm going to see if I can get her number from someone.

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As you wish:

 

So I message this girl from Hong Kong on tinder with my classic opening line:

"Would you rather: A - go for a meal with me; B - go for a drink with me; or C - skip the date and head straight back to yours?"

 

She responded with, "If you had asked me the other day it would have been C, but as it is B sounds nice." I ask he why and she said, "Just following some friendly advice. I like sex and I'm not weird about it, but the game must be played."

 

So at this point I already know I'm onto a winner.

 

While arranging to go for a drink she said, "I'm pretty broke, so you might be required to come straight to mine".

 

In the end I arrange to go for a drink at a local cafe bar near her place. But on the way there she messages me and tells me to go to her place instead. So I nip into Sainsbury's for a bottle of wine and head there. When I arrive she gets a spliff and leads me to her room. She said, "Sorry about the mess, I've been meaning to clean up." Which is normally girls-speak for, "I spent 4 hours cleaning but still feel the need to say this."

 

That wasn't the case. Her room was a real mess. She didn't have a bed, just a mattress on the floor. It was like a crack den (I imagine). We sat on her bed, talking and listening to music. She has a kitten, which kept biting her and her technique to stop this was to loudly miaow at the kitten. I'm sure that's a bona fide technique but it's still strange to be chatting to somebody who's loudly miaowing every sentence.

 

I open the wine. She said she doesn't have any wine glasses. I said I'm not fussy and a mug or something would do. So she gets a dirty mug off her desk and says, "It's got some coffee dried in the bottom but it should be OK." At this point I'm thinking I've made a huge mistake.

 

However after drinking some wine we start kissing. After about a minute she undoes my jeans and starts blowing me. Honest to god this blowjob was sensational; porn star good. At one point she deep throated it all the way.

 

After a while we switch roles, and she's loving it. Then the sex was fantastic, she was such a nympho. Doing it for ages in every position. At one point she grabbed my hand and got me to choke her (I've never understood choking).

 

After about an hour I'm getting pretty knackered (I struggle to finish when wearing a johnny), so I pull out, keep her going with my fingers while I get myself to the point of no return. Then put it back in her to finish off. Not the best of endings but still an incredible night.

 

Then we cuddled naked for a while before going to get a KFC.

 

 

 

Don't say I didn't warn you.

 

I'm not sure I've read a story of this calibre on these forums since before the Xsorbit days. Thank you :) Seems there is no awkwardness that a 2 piece feed won't fix...

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Well, I haven't been able to contact this girl. However, I have found out that she's pregnant.

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Reading the thread naow. I don't think I was actively posting when that went up! Eenuh and Fink flirting in this thread... had they started dating yet or is your thread also responsible for them two hooking up...?!

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Reading the thread naow. I don't think I was actively posting when that went up! Eenuh and Fink flirting in this thread... had they started dating yet or is your thread also responsible for them two hooking up...?!

 

If I recall correctly they've been together for six years ago this must have been just before. If I'm correct.

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LOL, I didn't actually mean The Peeps : peace:

 

I see you don't quite grasp the high level humour of ReZourceman.

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