Posted March 25, 2014 Yayyyyyyyy Shani! He's been very honest with me, which is a positive thing, read the message while I was there. I know he's not gonna leave me. Its more like me being very protective of him. The whole breakup was apparently a whole misunderstanding (he said he wanted to stop house hunting just for a bit, she took it as stop being together) which she says she was only told of now (they broke up mid last year) and she was sorry etc. They had a lot of mutual friends which I believe made things very awkward. And he has trust issues because of that. I've had to pick up enough of the pieces shes left behind - he constantly thinks I'm going to leave him. And I don't want her to come into his life again and wreck the friendships he has managed to salvage from the first time around! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 25, 2014 I feel like this every day, it's such a bind when you're at work too dealing with people as customers and you want to just be yourself - more fun - but your workplace insists a certain amount of 'professionalism' - read as 'behave like a robot' - from you, it's a great shame too because I seem to find that a lot of customers - at least where I work - find it better if you just chat to them. Take yesterday for example, I had quite a few decent conversations with some nice people but because they're customers as well I have to mention certain things which my workplace is promoting and yeah... definite conversation killer. I just find it a shame because there can be quite a few nice people that I serve at work who I wouldn't mind meeting outside of the workplace but because of 'rules' etc it obviously never happens. Outside of work when out and about or just walking down the street anxiety tends to take over so I rarely stop to talk with anyone unless they happen to know me from somewhere which doesn't happen often... ...sometimes I think that I'm really better off alone. [/rant] Yeah that's not what I meant But I get it, must be annoying. I just meant I waited a few days before texting someone again because that felt like the non-crazy thing to do after not hearing back for a few days, but apparently they had phone problems (wouldn't be surprised as they're using an old phone while theirs is broke) and I should have got in touch sooner. And then bumped into them in central later. Which is kind of weird because I rarely bump into people in London (although not that weird as I was heading to dinner at the restaurant next to their work). Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 25, 2014 Yeah that's not what I meant But I get it, must be annoying. I just meant I waited a few days before texting someone again because that felt like the non-crazy thing to do after not hearing back for a few days Ah fair enough, yeah it is a bit... I hate being generally socially inept, I mean I suppose it's unfair of me to say that I have no social skills whatsoever but sometimes when it comes to interacting with people I can come across as a little... odd to say the least. I often find it to be more amusing than annoying though... most of the time anyway. The whole 'waiting 'X' amount of days to text' I've never really understood though, but then I am rubbish at it and I tend to avoid texting if possible, I get that it's a useful method of communication but I suppose I've just never really felt the need to send them very often at all other than if really necessary; like for instance if someone texts me and I can easily message them via my PC then I'll just do it that way. But if it's the only way of contacting the person then I can definitely understand it but I still don't get the need for 'rules' so long as you're not texting them all the time... one hundred plus messages a day or something... that'd be weird even by my standards. :p Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 25, 2014 How do you let others know that you like him/her. My two relationships from the past started with a kiss after several 'dates'/'meetings' so I have no idea how to approach the problem I currently have. And from the looks of it I don't seem to be able to convey to her that I am into her. What can you say... "I have feelings for you." "I like you...more than a friend". "I may have fallen in love with you." "Will you marry me?" "Let us make sweet, sweet love." "I want to tear your clothes off and put my enormous P in your vagee." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 25, 2014 Yayyyyyyyy Shani! He's been very honest with me, which is a positive thing, read the message while I was there. I know he's not gonna leave me. Its more like me being very protective of him. The whole breakup was apparently a whole misunderstanding (he said he wanted to stop house hunting just for a bit, she took it as stop being together) which she says she was only told of now (they broke up mid last year) and she was sorry etc. They had a lot of mutual friends which I believe made things very awkward. And he has trust issues because of that. I've had to pick up enough of the pieces shes left behind - he constantly thinks I'm going to leave him. And I don't want her to come into his life again and wreck the friendships he has managed to salvage from the first time around! It's perfectly normal to feel like that. I think I would feel the same way too if that happened to me. However, he knows what she's like now and you pretty much have her sussed and even if it got down to a fight, with what you lift, you'd only have to bitchslap her and her head would explode! Also, a question, how can he possibly think you'd leave him with the amount of sex you guys are doing?!?! How do you let others know that you like him/her. My two relationships from the past started with a kiss after several 'dates'/'meetings' so I have no idea how to approach the problem I currently have. And from the looks of it I don't seem to be able to convey to her that I am into her. What can you say... "I have feelings for you." "I like you...more than a friend". "I may have fallen in love with you." "Will you marry me?" "Let us make sweet, sweet love." "I want to tear your clothes off and put my enormous P in your vagee." Do not say those three and as for the last one, say "I want to rip off your clothes, smother you in whipped cream and chocolate from head to toe and see how many licks it takes to get you off!" Last of the romantics, me! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 25, 2014 "I want to tear your clothes off and put my enormous P in your vagee." This one, always this one. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 26, 2014 What can you say... "I have feelings for you." "I like you...more than a friend". "I may have fallen in love with you." "Will you marry me?" "Let us make sweet, sweet love." "I want to tear your clothes off and put my enormous P in your vagee." I reckon it's much easier to do something rather than say something. It sounds twee but hold her hand. It's a pretty simple act that's implicit and not intimidating. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 26, 2014 (edited) And just to clarify: when holding her hand do not move it towards your crotch. That's third date material. Although stupid jokes aside, that is a good suggestion. Iiiiiiiiiiiiiii'm starting to like someone :/ and there's someone else I might like (or I should say, I see the potential for) but they're currently away so I can't find out if its reciprocal. For now we wait... Edited March 26, 2014 by Ashley Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 26, 2014 I always find the hand holding really awkward. I'm mainly talking about the initiation of hand holding; but also, when you hold somebody's hand, and nobody says anything, it feels really awkward to me, as if it should be acknowledged. "So we're holding hand now." "Yep." "Super." "Swell." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 26, 2014 I reckon it's much easier to do something rather than say something. It sounds twee but hold her hand. It's a pretty simple act that's implicit and not intimidating. Yeah, might be a good idea, @MoogleViper raises a good point, though. Maybe a bit awkward if there's no interest from the lady. And just to clarify: when holding her hand do not move it towards your crotch. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 26, 2014 Maybe a bit awkward if there's no interest from the lady. I think with a kiss or something else, it's a bit easier for her to (kindly) reject you. Feels a bit less so with hand holding. But maybe (read:definitely) I'm over thinking it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 27, 2014 (edited) My boyfriend and I went on a month break last year. It will be 2 years in June. Long story but It was put in a spot where I had to choose between them or my boyfriend and I don't think they would ever talk to me again if we knew we were back together. So when we got back together, I never told them. Don't really care if they know I'm back with him. I don't know if they know I'm back with him or not cause I don't mention him around them. Its really frustrating cause I shouldn't have to choose between friends or my boyfriend. Why can't I have both? Edited March 27, 2014 by ChloboShoka Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 27, 2014 Your friends don't sound like very good friends if they refuse to speak to you because of who you're going out with. Why don't they like your boyfriend? What did he do? Is he Nick Clegg? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 27, 2014 My boyfriend and I went on a month break last year. It will be 2 years in June. Long story but It was put in a spot where I had to choose between them or my boyfriend and I don't think they would ever talk to me again if we knew we were back together. So when we got back together, I never told them. Don't really care if they know I'm back with him. I don't know if they know I'm back with him or not cause I don't mention him around them. Its really frustrating cause I shouldn't have to choose between friends or my boyfriend. Why can't I have both? Sound like you need either better friends or a better boyfriend. I'd hazard a guess that you know which it is. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 27, 2014 (edited) Too many differences and drama. Don't want to go through it again. My online friends and my boyfriend stay as far away from each other as possible. I'm hoping they'd forget about each other and things would diffuse. Edited March 27, 2014 by ChloboShoka Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 27, 2014 Always ditch the one/s that are forcing you to choose. Or secrecy. Secrecy is cool and sexy. You're basically James Bond if you have secrets. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 27, 2014 So me and my guy almost broke up this week. My track record is fucking abysmal. So basically we brought up something I'm 100% on and he wasn't. He didn't realise just how adamant I was, he didn't agree and we nearly ended it right there. Thankfully, we're still together and its like that conversation didn't happen, we talked it through, realised it was absolutely fine and we're continuing on. Its a bit weird handling a relationship like a god damn adult, but its made me really appreciate him. But this week has kind of suck as a result. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 28, 2014 (edited) I know right? Being a rational and calculating person sucks sometimes. So I had dinner with that lady just now. She came over to my town and we went to a nice little restaurant, had something to eat. She missed her train so I offered her to stay at my place for a while, we spent some time there, she admired my DVD/Blu-Ray collection and borrowed several movies And then I drove her to the train station. I had an amazing time. I really want to tell her how I feel but as Rummy said: That scares the fuck out of me. Haven't had that problem in a long time now Well as I said - it's better now than later. I've had a terrible two weeks playing over in my mind; and I haven't even seen her since that weekend I mentioned(assuming I did). She's been shitter at replying to texts in the last few months as it is, but in the past two weeks I've had almost nothing from her in the past week and a half despite texting(nothing of note mind, just same old stuff) both on the weekend and a couple days ago now. Besides all of this it's actually just bloody annoying not replying to texts! Naturally I've weirded myself out wondering if she's either avoiding me, ignoring me, or...well, who knows. Shit just don't make sense and I can't stop bloody thinking about it. I'm even fucking dreaming about it! I've not even done anything and ALREADY I feel like shit's gone south, which is making it harder for me to keep my resolve to actually do/say something. On that note @drahkon - well. I can't advise but I'd say Daft's suggestion's a good one if you can do it without being too awkward - you hold someone's hand and it's harmless, they can easily pull away as well if it's weird/etc. My current plan is basically to hope she actually talks to me, sort something out with just us(possibly at mine, but not like that) and just tell her I like her. Appparently it's obvious to our other friends, I don't think it's going to come as a major suprise to her. I'm just in a fucking limbo right now and it's doing my goddamn nut in. EDIT: Now I've accidentally gone full stalker and told her sister to tell her to bloody text me back! Seems she can like my shit on facebook but not bloody text back WHY WOULD YOU NOT RESPOND TO A TEXT IN ANY CIRCUMSTANCE. Edited March 28, 2014 by Rummy Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 29, 2014 EDIT: Now I've accidentally gone full stalker and told her sister to tell her to bloody text me back! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 29, 2014 Your friends don't sound like very good friends if they refuse to speak to you because of who you're going out with. Why don't they like your boyfriend? What did he do? Is he Nick Clegg? Sound like you need either better friends or a better boyfriend. I'd hazard a guess that you know which it is. It's not quite as simple as that though. One of my friends was in a long relationship with a totally unsuitable individual. He repeatedly cheated on her whilst at the same time borrowed money off her and sold her sob stories that had her paying for everything. He was repeatedly caught out and multiple dramas unfolded - usually on Facebook. In the end I started to talking to her less and less because all you heard was tears one day, then the next day when you called her to see if she was OK all she would do is talk about how wonderful he was. Eventually people did stop talking to her as much due to the situation. Thankfully she is now out of that mess. But it's not always a black and white situation of the 'evil friends' who are trying to ruin the perfect relationship. Sometimes it takes a good and strong friend to be the one to tell someone the truth and give the harsh but sound advice. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 29, 2014 It's not quite as simple as that though. One of my friends was in a long relationship with a totally unsuitable individual. He repeatedly cheated on her whilst at the same time borrowed money off her and sold her sob stories that had her paying for everything. He was repeatedly caught out and multiple dramas unfolded - usually on Facebook. In the end I started to talking to her less and less because all you heard was tears one day, then the next day when you called her to see if she was OK all she would do is talk about how wonderful he was. Eventually people did stop talking to her as much due to the situation. Thankfully she is now out of that mess. But it's not always a black and white situation of the 'evil friends' who are trying to ruin the perfect relationship. Sometimes it takes a good and strong friend to be the one to tell someone the truth and give the harsh but sound advice. My post would still be entirely correct in that situation. She needed a better boyfriend. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 29, 2014 I was wanting opinions from you guys on a relationship situation My Girlfriend and I have just moved in together (2nd week in Feb) and its been going well, only she's lost her job and is now job seeking. She's also in the TA and they've offered her a temporary job running a vehicle garage (basically she's the receptionist and signs out vehicles) for 6 month, 5 days a week on the equivalent of £20k over the year (so whatever that works out as per month)........The down side is its in Donington which is 2.5/3 hours away, so for that 6 months she'd have to live there and can see me when she has days off, if she comes up and i'm not working I understand its money, and something extra to add to a CV,but we've just moved in together and i think its a bit much to effectively move out for 6 months, when were seeing if we can live together before buying a house, not to mention when she comes back she'll still have to find a proper full time job. So i've told her this and she's turned it down, but she can change her mind before the 11th of April, and her TA mates are telling her i'm holding back her TA career Am i wrong? I think half of this is i see the TA for what it is a hobby for her, she freely admits she couldn't be a regular soldier, so she knows its an occasional weekend thing, so it seems a waste doing this for 6 months eitherway as it only progresses her hobby, whilst allows her to avoid finding a full time career, which she is shit scared she won't find Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 29, 2014 And what happens in a few months time, when she hasn't managed to find a job, and she's getting depressed, and you're getting frustrated that she's not working, and that you're paying the bills, and it's putting a strain on your relationship? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 29, 2014 territorial army. Its a part time army employment where you can work in a normal job and get called up as required Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
