Posted September 9, 2013 (edited) Bard, did you hear about my fairly recent jaunt on Chat Roulette. Letting the balls drop was the greatest. I want the details but I don't Bah, no. Don't get me wrong, in my head that is kind of funny, but ripping a girl's pictures isn't on. I'd come over and beat the bloody shit out of you if I found out anyone had done that to me. I said "reasonably attractive" Ohoooo somebody stop meh. I kid, don't kill me Edited September 9, 2013 by The Bard Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 9, 2013 The lady I asked out (wanted to take her to a castle garden which gets illuminated with different coloured lights, it's actually pretty awesome) answered: "A lot of my old classmates and me wanted to go there, no idea when exactly, so not sure about that. If it doesn't work out, we can go." Not holding my breath. She also kinda hinted, that I could go with the lot, but I politely declined, 'cause that's not what I want to do. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 9, 2013 (edited) I want the details but I don't I said "reasonably attractive" Ohoooo somebody stop meh. I kid, don't kill me EDIT: Saw the bit in white. Chilled out...slightly. GRRR. Edited September 9, 2013 by nightwolf Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 9, 2013 I don't know if you should go for it, but she sounds perfect for Bob. Plus he'd get another chance at a surprise proposal. Pugs = yes Chihuahua = no I would have to see which breed s dominant first. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 9, 2013 I want the details but I don't Yeah this is rather NSFW. I set the webcam into position of my genitals. I pull my legendarily large ball sack up over the top of my penis, encompassing everything. I pinned it in place with one of my hands, a thumb and finger holding up either side, and another finger "pinning" it in the middle, creating a crevice. With the low lighting, this created the gentle illusion of a vagina. I then entered chat roulette, targeting guys jacking off (i.e. everyone). I would "rub" my "vagina" using my free hand, circular motion, two middle fingers. I would then (of course, out of shot) lick my fingers, putting a lot of moisture on them, then continue to rub, and indeed simulate insertion by moving my hand in such a way that I was bending my fingers up and pushing my hand inwards (the fingers concealed by the rest of my hand), and then show my soaking wet fingers to the camera. I would then move my frisky hand out of position, and then "drop the balls" letting go of my entire penis and letting it all hang out. The reactions were absolutely FUCKING priceless, and I am a moron for not having recorded it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 9, 2013 The reactions were absolutely FUCKING priceless, and I am a moron for not having recorded it. Do it again. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 9, 2013 Do it again. This has to happen. But somehow make it so we don't see your dick and balls. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 9, 2013 Yeah, I definitely want to. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 9, 2013 She also kinda hinted, that I could go with the lot, but I politely declined, 'cause that's not what I want to do. Calm and in control, nice. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 9, 2013 (edited) Gym dude was definitely trying to catch my eye today. But I was in a rush. On the way out he winked at me. Boom. I'm just going to live vicariously through you. Actually, did keep catching eye contact with someone in Sainsburys earlier, but I'm so super socially awkward I'm not sure if I just looked weird. But I suppose its enrolment next week. NEW STUDENTS! Sorry... I really need to get into a job where students aren't the main people that I meet. #rambling #procrastinating Oh god I just realised this sums up my life right now: Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's D.O.A. IT'S HAPPENING. Edited September 9, 2013 by Ashley Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 9, 2013 Oh Rez...god damn. You are king troll. IT'S HAPPENING. This is present progressive. What you want is past perfect. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 10, 2013 Yeah, I definitely want to. Whatever possessed you to do it in the first place though?! Still, sounds bloody hilarious! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 10, 2013 Whatever possessed you to do it in the first place though?! It's me. The only reason I ever need. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 13, 2013 Talked to gym guy again. During the conversation I'm like 'What do you do outside?' And he's like 'when I'm not gyming?' As if I was asking what his interests were and I'm like 'Woah, I mean like do you do any sports or stuff along with the gym?' Fail me maybe. We were talking about cross-fit to start with so my mind was just think EXERCISE. Anyway, he just loves lifting. I was like, how do you keep it interesting? He started talking about changing routine and diet. And I was like 'I did a real dirty bulk at the beginning of the year and BOOM'. I liked saying 'dirty'. I'm still slightly hungover from yesterday at this point and a little heated ifyouknowwhatImean. We had a chuckle about stuffing your face with food. I said I might ask him about switching up my lifting routine, he said he could give me a few tips. And so concludes another chapter Daft-erotica. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 14, 2013 Going through a weird phase with my girlfriend at the moment. We've been together about 18 months and whilst I love her to bits, I'm feeling a bit...bored? We go to Uni together (well, she's a staff member there) and during the year we'd see each other most nights however this summer I've gone back home and we haven't seen each other for two weeks. She's clearly missing me a lot but I literally haven't at all..does that make me a bad boyfriend? I've been working pretty much full time and have been going to the gym most days so I don't have loads of time to sit around and be bored, which might explain why she misses me a lot right now (she's got her own flat). I'm just a bit worried that our relationship has become ike a routine for me because I'm not that 'excited' when I see her anymore. Normally I'd be missing the sex like crazy at this point (I don't think I've gone two weeks without sex for at least 4 years) but I'm not at all now which I find bizarre. To make things even more frustrating, there's a girl at work who was flirting with me loads during my time there. Normally I wouldn't bother flirting back but with her I just felt like a needed a bit of fun that meant nothing. We had a work night out last week and she was all over me for the whole night (holding my hand, always running over to see me, making sure we were next to each other on the dance floor) and when she left she gave me a quick kiss (which I really do feel terrible about, however I need to stress that I was completely fucked off my face this point). I've found out today that she really likes me however obviously I'm keeping my distance completely because firstly I've got a girlfriend and secondly I'm heading back to Uni tomorrow. But even then, I'm actually finding it difficult to not message her because like, I just want a bit of attention and dare I say it, a laugh with someone of the opposite sex? Alternatively, it may be that I've now realised that I'm going into my masters year of Uni and that I have missed out on a colossal amount of p*ssy over the last 3 years because I've been in relationships at the time. Mid-mid life crisis? I dunno. Ouch, my brain. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 14, 2013 I thought your girlfriend was a cool lady, but I have a tendency to get really really bored if I'm around the same person day after day. Seems like you just need to spend a little time apart, and you'll inevitably wind up missing her company. Did you live with her, or as close as? I find that living with your girlfriend leaves so little time for you to do all of the things you want to pursue on your own, so maybe you're feeling that you haven't had sufficient time to develop your own interests as a result of being around her persistently? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 14, 2013 (edited) I've had enough wine and enough melancholic indie music to make me all reflective on life. Kind of feel like a 'relationship' right now. Shame I don't like my friend that liked me in that way (if we ignore that she's moving to Canada). Would be nice. Oh well. I guess I just feel lonely rather than alone. Edited September 14, 2013 by Ashley Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 15, 2013 Silly mare. Hopefully you feel better this morning. I realised that perhaps if I ever did change my mind on not being single, my 'list' of things has gotten out of control. I now don't like the idea of dating anyone who doesn't have a car and/or motorbike. Oh lord. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 15, 2013 my problem is that i'm SUPER picky with men. But I'm not much of a looker myself so its hard to find men that I like, who like me back. Its like yeah, I could probably settle for someone I just don't connect with, but I'd never be happy and it wouldn't be fair on them. So I'll stay single and hope the right guy comes along soon Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 15, 2013 my problem is that i'm SUPER picky with men. But I'm not much of a looker myself so its hard to find men that I like, who like me back. Its like yeah, I could probably settle for someone I just don't connect with, but I'd never be happy and it wouldn't be fair on them. So I'll stay single and hope the right guy comes along soon Eh, things might change. Well, I'd like to think they would. Not going for someone because they don't have a car...is well, I know its stupid. But after driving my non-driving friends/exes around for years, I'm a bit sick of it, can I not be the designated driver for once, please? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 15, 2013 They're your friends/ exes though. You could always tell them you're not a fucking chauffeur. I don't get the whole culture of being coy with friends. I don't really consider someone a friend unless I can tell them to fuck off without hurting their feelings. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 15, 2013 Eh, things might change. Well, I'd like to think they would. Not going for someone because they don't have a car...is well, I know its stupid. But after driving my non-driving friends/exes around for years, I'm a bit sick of it, can I not be the designated driver for once, please? The level of stupidity depends on the extent that you'd take it. "I'd rather not date somebody who doesn't have a car." - reasonable "There's this guy I really like, but he doesn't have a car so it's a no." - stupid Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
