Posted June 18, 2013 I need an @Ike update. Shits like crack. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 19, 2013 I got nuttin'. Sorry to disappoint you. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 19, 2013 Feel so blurgh at the moment... About 6 weeks ago my girlfriend ended things with me, kinda out of the blue, I mean I knew there was something troubling her but wasn't expecting the axe. The reason she gave was that she was suffering from depression and didn't want to put me through it because she knew that subconsciously she would try to sabotage the relationship (something she has apparently done before). She said if we stayed together I would just end up feeling bitter and resentful towards her because of what she might do to me and apparently I was too nice a person and didn't deserve that. Obviously I found this hard to take, I mean we'd been together 8 months and I hoped that after that amount of time she would've felt like she could talk about her problems with me, or at least feel our relationship was worth putting up a bit of a fight for, but no, she just seemingly gave up at the first sign of trouble. She told me a few days later that it broke her heart and she absolutely still loved me but had to focus on getting herself better before she can get me better. So I thought give her a bit of space for a while and maybe things would work out again... Fast forward to yesterday when I stumble across the fact that she is already in a new relationship. So in the space of basically a month she had got over her depression (I had previously asked her if there was a chance things would work out again when she was better and she told me she didn't know because it would take a long time), which was so bad she was having psychotherapy, got over all her feelings towards me and started a new relationship with some guy who lives in Bournemouth (over 2 hours away from where we both live; Bristol). I literally felt sick all day yesterday, didn't eat anything, wanted to punch things... It's not even because I thought we would get back together again, over the last week I had more or less settled on the fact that we probably wouldn't. I had kinda moved on and rather than missing her per se it was just being in a relationship that I was missing. All I wanted was closure, something that she had never really given me and that she seemed unwilling to do so since she wouldn't talk to me. Needless to say I've got that closure now but not exactly the way I wanted it. It just makes me think that the whole depression thing was some shitty excuse to end things with me and that I'm the one who's done something wrong as she didn't want to be in a relationship me. Of course she's told me that that obviously isn't the case... I obviously still have some feelings towards her and I genuinely want her to be happy but at the same time I want this new relationship to crash and burn. The fact she has jumped into it so quickly and it's long distance kind of makes me think that she's just got into the next possible relationship as a rebound thing. Spoke to my house mate about it (he's been friends with her for years and is how we met) and he is pretty certain that it wont last. I've just finished second year of uni as well so at the moment have nothing to do to take my mind off things. I'm moving to Plymouth in September to do my third year and honestly I just want to go now. I want to get out of Bristol because it just reminds me of her, however I'm stuck here until September which means I've got a summer of suck (and not the kind of sucking I was hoping for) ahead of me :/ /essay tl:dr Women suck, everything sucks, I'm sad Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 19, 2013 Hard lines, Eddage. It may not be how you want to view it, but you could look at it as a blessing in disguise. At least you know now what she's like than having stayed in a relationship and not finding out until much further down the line. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 19, 2013 That sounds like an absolute cop out by your ex! Have you talked to her since finding out or plan to? I would want to know how that came about after what she said before! I was just wondering the other day where you'd disappeared to and BOOM you're back. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 19, 2013 Man, that's ridiculous. I think Moogle has a point, you may have just dodged a bullet on that one - though given you've been together 8 months, it may have grazed you. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 19, 2013 Yeah Eddage, thats a fucking weak sauce bull shit excuse for ending a relationship. More fool her for pulling such shit. Now come NE meet and we'll make you forget ALLLLL about her. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 19, 2013 (edited) That sounds like an absolute cop out by your ex! Have you talked to her since finding out or plan to? I would want to know how that came about after what she said before! Oh yes I've spoken to her! About half an hour after I found out i sent her the following... "Well you've certainly moved on pretty fucking quickly... So was all the bullshit about not being able to be in a relationship true or was it just some lie to get out of one with me?" Needless to say she wasn't impressed with this and sent some shit back about how she hadn't planned it but she met this guy and they just clicked. She then went on to try and make me out to be the bad guy with how I'd not given her the space she asked for and how it wasn't okay that I turned up at her house unexpectedly... A little more back story... It was her birthday about three weeks after we broke up and I had already gotten her a present as I ordered it from Hong Kong. At this stage things still looked like they may work out again so I wanted her to have it (also didn't really want it sitting on my desk acting as a constant reminder ). So I tried to arrange to meet up with her to give her the present (that was literally all I wanted to do) but she just kept telling me that she would have to look at her shifts and get back to me when she finished work. This went on for over a week with her constantly blowing me off and I started to realise that she didn't want to see me. I was fine with this but thought she could've had the decency to tell me. The night before I went to hers I asked her one last time and actually told her to tell me if she didn't want to see me and that if that was the case I would just leave her alone for good. Once again she spouted some bullshit about how she was constantly busy and working six days a week etc and that she'd text me the next day when she'd figured out when she had time. Roll onto the next day (last Tuesday) and all over Facebook she's going on about having a day off work and wanted to know if anyone wanted to do something fun. This made me very angry, it made me think that clearly she had no intention of meeting up with me and that saying she had no free time was bullshit. This was when I decided I would just take the present to hers, drop it off and then leave, that way it would be over. Honestly at this stage I had given up on us getting back together, all I wanted was some closure, something she'd never had the courtesy to give me and so on the bus to hers I decided to write a few things done in a letter to get them off my chest and try and speed up the process - give her a chance to finally tell me it's 100% over! So back to yesterday's exchanges. Like I said she tried to put blame on me, but as far as I'm concerned my impromptu visit was justified she also had a go at me about the letter, saying it was really fucking offensive and that I accused her of fabricating a mental illness. Now I'll admit that some of the things I wrote were a bit harsh but I would never accuse anyone of such a thing! She did apologise for how fast it was but then later in another text she said that she wasn't actually sorry because he makes her happy - so showing some class there Some other things were said and then she just said that she shouldn't have to explain herself to my anyway, and if I'm going to continue trying to make her feel guilty when she has done nothing wrong then she'd like me to leave her alone. I told her not to worry and that I would definitely leave her alone and then sent her the longest most passive aggressive guilt trip of a text saying how everything I had done that she didn't like was a direct result of her actions. Whilst I didn't say it as such I basically said that everything was her fault. Funnily enough she never replied to this So that's the full story, yes I regret some of the things I did/said but everyone I have spoken to sad that I was pretty much justified in my actions (well apart from the ex...) Actually, scrap that I don't regret anything, she pushed me to everything I did, all I wanted was honesty and closure and she didn't once have the courtesy to provide me with this. I know I said earlier that I want her to be happy but you can scrap that as well, I hope her new relationship blows up in her face and she realises how much of an idiot she has been and that she's made a mistake, just so I can tell her to fuck off! /even longer essay I was just wondering the other day where you'd disappeared to and BOOM you're back. Back indeed. Haven't really been around (apart from the odd post) for a couple of years now! I plan on staying though! Man, that's ridiculous. I think Moogle has a point, you may have just dodged a bullet on that one - though given you've been together 8 months, it may have grazed you. Definitely grazed, badly! She was the first girl I've been in love with and it basically ended with my worst fear realised - that any relationship I get into the girls just gonna get bored of me and leave. That's why I've avoided them before now... Yeah Eddage, thats a fucking weak sauce bull shit excuse for ending a relationship. More fool her for pulling such shit. Now come NE meet and we'll make you forget ALLLLL about her. I don't even want to know how you're gonna make me forget about her... I may come to the meet but it depends on funding, as things stand I wouldn't be able to afford it Edited June 19, 2013 by Eddage Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 19, 2013 I don't even want to know how you're gonna make me forget about her... I may come to the meet but it depends on funding, as things stand I wouldn't be able to afford it Use your recently approved overdraft! :p Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 19, 2013 That's needed for bills, so many bills! Oh and going out on Saturday night and getting trashed! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 19, 2013 Actually, scrap that I don't regret anything, she pushed me to everything I did, all I wanted was honesty and closure and she didn't once have the courtesy to provide me with this. I know I said earlier that I want her to be happy but you can scrap that as well, I hope her new relationship blows up in her face and she realises how much of an idiot she has been and that she's made a mistake, just so I can tell her to fuck off! Oh and going out on Saturday night and getting trashed! Best idea ever. Will do that, as well. And as soon as I'm drunk I'll start talking to girls like last Saturday. Let the games begin! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 19, 2013 Best idea ever. Will do that, as well. And as soon as I'm drunk I'll start talking to girls like last Saturday. Let the games begin! Going with my housemate and some of his friends so hopefully there'll be some new lady girls to meet! The trouble is I literally have no idea how to talk to women I mean, I've been successful at clubs in the past but literally every time I have I don't actually know what I've said/done. I'll remember seeing a girl then my next memory will be making out with her! I'm obviously some sort of Casanova esque genius when I'm drunk but I'd really like to know what I do to get the action. I JUST WANT TO KNOW MY SECRET DAMMIT! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 19, 2013 I JUST WANT TO KNOW MY SECRET DAMMIT! If you find out, tell me! I remember, last Saturday, I talked to this girl. Well, let me use one of my favourite memes: She always was around where I was dancing, coming closer from time to time, then moving away again, smiling a bit. Later I saw her sitting around, so I decided to talk to her. You know, introducing, "here with friends?" blah. And then? What do you do then? No idea, so I somehow got the conversation to a point where we were talking about the school we apparently both went to. Great. Talking about fucking school. Then the topic: "Jobs". Told her I quit mine, to go to university. Great. Then she seemed to lose interest. Great. So yeah, no idea what to talk about. But hey...I talked to a girl I didn't know. Never done that before. Think I should just dance with girls. No talking. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 19, 2013 Oh yes I've spoken to her! About half an hour after I found out i sent her the following... "Well you've certainly moved on pretty fucking quickly... So was all the bullshit about not being able to be in a relationship true or was it just some lie to get out of one with me?" Needless to say she wasn't impressed with this and sent some shit back about how she hadn't planned it but she met this guy and they just clicked. She then went on to try and make me out to be the bad guy with how I'd not given her the space she asked for and how it wasn't okay that I turned up at her house unexpectedly... A little more back story... It was her birthday about three weeks after we broke up and I had already gotten her a present as I ordered it from Hong Kong. At this stage things still looked like they may work out again so I wanted her to have it (also didn't really want it sitting on my desk acting as a constant reminder ). So I tried to arrange to meet up with her to give her the present (that was literally all I wanted to do) but she just kept telling me that she would have to look at her shifts and get back to me when she finished work. This went on for over a week with her constantly blowing me off and I started to realise that she didn't want to see me. I was fine with this but thought she could've had the decency to tell me. The night before I went to hers I asked her one last time and actually told her to tell me if she didn't want to see me and that if that was the case I would just leave her alone for good. Once again she spouted some bullshit about how she was constantly busy and working six days a week etc and that she'd text me the next day when she'd figured out when she had time. Roll onto the next day (last Tuesday) and all over Facebook she's going on about having a day off work and wanted to know if anyone wanted to do something fun. This made me very angry, it made me think that clearly she had no intention of meeting up with me and that saying she had no free time was bullshit. This was when I decided I would just take the present to hers, drop it off and then leave, that way it would be over. Honestly at this stage I had given up on us getting back together, all I wanted was some closure, something she'd never had the courtesy to give me and so on the bus to hers I decided to write a few things done in a letter to get them off my chest and try and speed up the process - give her a chance to finally tell me it's 100% over! So back to yesterday's exchanges. Like I said she tried to put blame on me, but as far as I'm concerned my impromptu visit was justified she also had a go at me about the letter, saying it was really fucking offensive and that I accused her of fabricating a mental illness. Now I'll admit that some of the things I wrote were a bit harsh but I would never accuse anyone of such a thing! She did apologise for how fast it was but then later in another text she said that she wasn't actually sorry because he makes her happy - so showing some class there Some other things were said and then she just said that she shouldn't have to explain herself to my anyway, and if I'm going to continue trying to make her feel guilty when she has done nothing wrong then she'd like me to leave her alone. I told her not to worry and that I would definitely leave her alone and then sent her the longest most passive aggressive guilt trip of a text saying how everything I had done that she didn't like was a direct result of her actions. Whilst I didn't say it as such I basically said that everything was her fault. Funnily enough she never replied to this So that's the full story, yes I regret some of the things I did/said but everyone I have spoken to sad that I was pretty much justified in my actions (well apart from the ex...) Actually, scrap that I don't regret anything, she pushed me to everything I did, all I wanted was honesty and closure and she didn't once have the courtesy to provide me with this. I know I said earlier that I want her to be happy but you can scrap that as well, I hope her new relationship blows up in her face and she realises how much of an idiot she has been and that she's made a mistake, just so I can tell her to fuck off! /even longer essay Back indeed. Haven't really been around (apart from the odd post) for a couple of years now! I plan on staying though! Definitely grazed, badly! She was the first girl I've been in love with and it basically ended with my worst fear realised - that any relationship I get into the girls just gonna get bored of me and leave. That's why I've avoided them before now... I don't even want to know how you're gonna make me forget about her... I may come to the meet but it depends on funding, as things stand I wouldn't be able to afford it Jesus Fucking Christ, that's horrible. Good riddance, though I'm very sorry to hear she was your first love; that's a tough pill to swallow. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 19, 2013 @Eddage, I know it hurts right now and you're angry but as everybody on here has already said, you're better off without her! She sounds like a shitty person, mate! Someone better'll come along, someone who'll appreciate you and stuff! Don't worry, son, she'll get her come-uppance one day but right now, just feel sorry for the bloke she's with, he has no clue about her whereas you do. You're free and that poor bloke is trapped with her. In the long run, you're the winner here. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 20, 2013 Cheers for the kind words guys! I know I'm better off without her but that doesn't make it hurt any less. Once again I can't sleep, as soon as I try to shut off she just comes back into my head and I feel like shit again :/ Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 20, 2013 @Eddage Message her and say "Glad to see you got over your depression so quickly, great news!" Make her feel bad about it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 20, 2013 I think I should probably lay off the guilt tripping messages, well any messages actually. Don't want to seem obsessed! I've more or less said that to her anyway. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 20, 2013 (edited) I'll be honest when I first read that @Eddage all I could think was 'what a cunt'. You've definitely dodged the bullet on this one. Not saying she neccessarily fabricated the mental illness, but she certainly seems to have used it in part as some sort of excuse and most likely overplayed it to help her case. It's easy for us all to say how much of a dick she is but I know it'll be hard for you to not be angry about(tbh, you're right to be angry, embrace it for a little bit rather than fight it). Out of interest, how much would it actually end up costing you to get to the meet? Maybe it'd be just the sort of mad thing worth punting on atm. You're right though, lay off the messages. Cut the contact. Get her out of your life, delete her number, delete her facebook - delete her altogether. She's done the one thing she was apparently trying to avoid doing to you by breaking up with you and acting like this. She WILL always spin it back round to you being at fault, she won't take responsibility and the more you engage the more you're gonna get wound up with and in it. You probably wanna fight, argue your case, prove that you're right and that she's to blame at least a bit - it won't work. You'll get nothing form it except more shit heaped on yourself. Cut her off man, trust me. You won't forget, but you need as little reminders as possible. Edited June 20, 2013 by Rummy Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 20, 2013 I'll be honest when I first read that @Eddage all I could think was 'what a cunt'. You've definitely dodged the bullet on this one. Not saying she neccessarily fabricated the mental illness, but she certainly seems to have used it in part as some sort of excuse and most likely overplayed it to help her case. It's easy for us all to say how much of a dick she is but I know it'll be hard for you to not be angry about(tbh, you're right to be angry, embrace it for a little bit rather than fight it). Out of interest, how much would it actually end up costing you to get to the meet? Maybe it'd be just the sort of mad thing worth punting on atm. You're right though, lay off the messages. Cut the contact. Get her out of your life, delete her number, delete her facebook - delete her altogether. She's done the one thing she was apparently trying to avoid doing to you by breaking up with you and acting like this. She WILL always spin it back round to you being at fault, she won't take responsibility and the more you engage the more you're gonna get wound up with and in it. You probably wanna fight, argue your case, prove that you're right and that she's to blame at least a bit - it won't work. You'll get nothing form it except more shit heaped on yourself. Cut her off man, trust me. You won't forget, but you need as little reminders as possible. Don't worry I have cut her out completely! With regards to the meet... As things stand I have no chance of going, I don't know how much it would cost but I don't have a job so all money I have will be going on bills. If I get a job pretty quickly then I'm almost certain I'll go. @Retro_Link are you going to the meet? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 21, 2013 @Eddage really sorry to read about all this man!! :/ (and to just be finding out about it, haven't been in this thread for a while) Can always PM/Facebook me if you want to chat about anything ever! I can't afford to go to the meet atm... hopefully something might change within a month though. Feel like you need a boost though, you should try and make it... or maybe there's something else we can think about doing sometime soon. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 21, 2013 Both of you at the meet. Everything's cheaper in twos. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 21, 2013 You know what you need Eddage, you need to go out, get drunk, and find a nice young lady who appreciates you for running the largest pokemon site in the world. #MissionSerebii You also both need to NEMeet it up. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 21, 2013 You know what you need Eddage, you need to go out, get drunk, and find a nice young lady who appreciates you for running the largest pokemon site in the world. #MissionSerebii You also both need to NEMeet it up. Haha, forgot all about #MissionSerebii, going out tomorrow with the housemate and some of his friends so may well try it! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
