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Hope i dont have the same problem tomorrow at Alton Towers, that could be problematic!

 

I'd love to be there when the staff come round to push the harness down.

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My girlfriend and I spent some hours together this evening.

After she'd kissed me goodbye, she smiled and said: "We'll make this work. We can do this."

 

That made me very happy :)

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My girlfriend and I spent some hours together this evening.

After she'd kissed me goodbye, she smiled and said: "We'll make this work. We can do this."

 

That made me very happy :)

 

you-rock.jpg

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So she got back to me. And she said she doesn't think we should be together. She apologised for taking so long since she cares a lot about me and didn't want to hurt me, but she also wanted to be honest with me, which I of course appreciate very much and said as such. She said that she really likes what we have now and that she hoped this wouldn't ruin anything between us, and I said that that's of course the last thing I want. She also said that should her feelings ever change, she'd let me know, and while I figure that's unlikely, it was a nice gesture by her, and I thanked her for it.

 

It was in all respects the kindest and "best" rejection I could've hoped for, and I honestly thought I was mentally prepared for it ... but I must admit it hit me harder than I expected. I didn't express this to her since the last thing I wanted to do was to make it harder for her or create any awkwardness between us, but particularly after getting home I really felt it. A flashback of all the same old feelings of self-doubt, self-loathing and self-pity that I battled with a couple of years ago ... it was like getting a bucketload in the face of the same cold water you'd been drowning in previously. Of course I knew I hadn't just completely got rid of all that insecurity, but I was surprised that all those feelings returned so strongly, even if it was only for a short time. I guess my self-esteem still needs a lot of work.

 

Anyway, we're still close friends, I now know how she feels, and I can say that I had the balls to actually act on my feelings and tell a girl I like her. At some point in the future I'll hopefully be able to look back on this as a victory. Because right now it doesn't really feel as such. :heh:

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Ah, yes, because we're still in high school and thus incapable of dealing with our feelings in a mature way. It's not like we have a close friendship that can actually handle honesty. :indeed:

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YEAH ELLMEISTER YOU PENIS.

 

I concur. (With Ell)

 

 

Things are never the same afterwards, no matter how much you try and convince yourself they will be. There's always that thought in your head, or pang of jealousy if you see her with another guy.

 

The worst thing that you can do is see her regularly as you won't get over her and be able to move on.

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Well, that may be your experience. I have personally remainded perfectly close and unawkward friends with people I've had feelings for before, so I'm not the least bit worried about that.

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Admittedly I'm best friends with people I've had feelings for before, which I now no longer do. Those people didn't know though.

 

The girl I did admit to (in our "group") and ended up getting with a few times, we now barely speak except when we're altogether as a group and just chatting generally.

 

By all means you can act "maturely" as opposed to me (and Charlie) who obviously can't :p

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Admittedly I'm best friends with people I've had feelings for before, which I now no longer do. Those people didn't know though.

 

The girl I did admit to (in our "group") and ended up getting with a few times, we now barely speak except when we're altogether as a group and just chatting generally.

 

By all means you can act "maturely" as opposed to me (and Charlie) who obviously can't :p

 

Watch this space, come a few years time he'll think back to this moment and say "damn, those dudes were right!". :P

 

I only have 1 rule: never stay friends with an ex.

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Watch this space, come a few years time he'll think back to this moment and say "damn, those dudes were right!". :P

 

I only have 1 rule: never stay friends with an ex.

 

I wouldn't say never stay friends, it just hasn't happened for me yet!

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Well, it seems like we have very different views on this matter. Who knows, maybe I'll come back at some point with a changed mind and agree with you guys. :heh: But presently I am entirely convinced you're wrong, and I shall continue with my life accordingly. :)

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So you're ignoring someone's opinion on the internet about your life?

 

I'm not sure that's allowed DBD.

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I'd love to be there when the staff come round to push the harness down.

 

Was touch and go for a while! haha. Absolutely amazing day

 

The problem with staying friends is she will always wonder if she is leading you on, therefor might choose not to see you for your own good no matter what you say. It can work though, if you meet somebody else/prove some other way that you're not still pining for her.

Edited by Jav_NE

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I wouldn't say never stay friends, it just hasn't happened for me yet!

 

I'm still 'friends' with one of my exs. Seen her once in the last year and that was when I bumped into her on a night out. Before that we went out for a few drinks.

 

I didn't invite her to my bday this year (dun dun DUN!). She didn't invite me to hers.

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I've still been friends with someone after telling her my feelings, and she just wanted to be friends. I haven't spoken to her in ages, but that's more to do with me moving to a different area.

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I concur. (With Ell)

 

 

Things are never the same afterwards, no matter how much you try and convince yourself they will be. There's always that thought in your head, or pang of jealousy if you see her with another guy.

 

The worst thing that you can do is see her regularly as you won't get over her and be able to move on.

 

There would have been a time when I agreed with you but after actually going through this with three different girls, it does fade. At first, it is awkward, it's only natural that it would be but it fades and the time that it fades depends wholly on yourself and your friend.

 

@Dannyboy\-the\-Dane

The one thing you want for them is to be happy even if they're not with you. I still like my ex a little bit even though I know in my heart I could never be with her but I know she's found someone and I'm happy for her. There was a time when it did hurt me but it fades and eventually you just feel happy she's found someone and you know you will.

 

I've also been in your situation before, Dannyboy. I asked my friend out and got shot down with the "You're my brother" line, which is a dreadful line to use by the way, girls! She started dating my best friend and I was like "Oh...right..." and then ended up dumping him too. In the end, I knew it was for the best and that it wasn't meant to be so I never let it get to me. Skip to recent times, she's a lesbian! haha. So basically, she might be a lesbian! :p

 

Nah, on a serious note, the best thing to do is move your target onto someone else. You asked her, she said no, don't let that get to you. Out of the entire population, you asked ONE girl out. There might be someone worse than her, there might be someone better but one thing I can tell you for certain: You won't find out unless you ask them out. Just proper put yourself out there and flirt with other girls, you'll soon forget it (in a good way) and just be friends again.

 

It's entirely possible to stay friends with your ex. I'm friends with four of mine, two of them I'm great friends with and we still get on even now. One's happy with her fiancee and two children and the other is single but I'd never go there again. We talk a lot though and their families always ask how I am and stuff. Some are malicious and some end on good terms. I've just been fortunate enough to have almost half of mine end on good terms.

Edited by Animal

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I already feel loads better today. My mood took a dive yesterday, but today, surprisingly enough, I already feel like taking on the world again. In a strange way I'm actually more relaxed around my friend now since I'm no longer wondering if there could be something there or not.

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I already feel loads better today. My mood took a dive yesterday, but today, surprisingly enough, I already feel like taking on the world again. In a strange way I'm actually more relaxed around my friend now since I'm no longer wondering if there could be something there or not.

 

That would happen. As I said, it depends on the person how fast it moves on. Seems like you're getting there already! :D

 

Just talk to other girls and show them your sonic screwdriver in your Doctor Who costume, haha.

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I asked my friend out and got shot down with the "You're my brother" line, which is a dreadful line to use by the way, girls!

I'm not sure why girls think it matters if you're related. It's like, I know I'm your brother! The whole reason I'm asking you out is because we kind of look alike.

Edited by Magnus

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So you're ignoring someone's opinion on the internet about your life?

 

I'm not sure that's allowed DBD.

 

I laughed way more than I should have at that. Brilliant.

 

Speaking from my own experience, I find that staying friends with people you used to fancy/go out with - There's nearly always something that stays under the surface in one way or another. It might not be longing or regret or any of those things, but just the knowledge sometimes seems to translate itself into a tangible feeling of sorts, of which a better description eludes me. Not always the case mind you, so I reckon @Dannyboy\-the\-Dane is completely right to feel confident that it shouldn't be the case.

 

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