Posted January 18, 2014 *insert pretty much any Breaking Bad comic here* Important Note: Do not read Breaking Bad comics if you haven't finished watching Breaking Bad. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 18, 2014 Reading the Wiki summaries for the Quirky Tales by Paul Jennings, and it sounds like the musings of a lunatic. Sneeze'n CoffinA girl's mother remarries an undertaker, which embarrasses the girl because he always drives in his hearse, and also because he tells her younger brother that his coffins are boats. As a result, the girl's younger brother launched the coffin into the water, thinking it was a boat and ends up disgracing the family but the undertaker didn't even care, which also makes the girl's life been messed up. When the undertaker brings a corpse from work and the girl gets locked in the room with the corpse, the story sure gets interesting. Santa Claws A boy visits a hypnotist on Christmas Day because he somehow gets a small mouth that is the size of a marble. The boy explains through writing that while taking his younger brother Christmas shopping, they encountered a Santa Claus that had claws for fingernails and gave them, as well as their older sister, two wishes. A Dozen Bloomin' Roses A boy buys flowers, but is very embarrassed about it; so on the train ride home, he lets himself get run over. His girlfriend then somehow grows his flowers on her hand. Tonsil Eye 'Tis A boy who is obsessed with garden gnomes gets a gnome with a face in its mouth. After getting the face out of the gnome's mouth, the boy ends up getting the face in his own mouth, as well as an eye growing on his finger. Unhappily Ever After A principal who enjoys giving the strap to troublemakers, as well as people who insult him, goes for a boat ride, but when he gets trapped in a current, he is forced to watch images of people doing to others what those others do to them. Spooks Incorporated Two boys enjoy 'pretending' to be ghosts and haunting houses so that their owners will 'sell' them. But when they create a mechanical headless chicken to scare off the owner of a local Melbourne pub, they find out that the pub really is haunted- by the real headless chicken! The Copy A boy who has a doctor for a friend visits the doctor every day to see his inventions. The doctor's latest invention is a machine that can copy people. The boy ends up copying himself so he can take down a bully, but his copy ends up stealing his tea, his girlfriend, and finally his life. Stuffed A young man works by clearing cane toads from peoples' yards end releasing them in a swamp - despite the cane toad's status as an invasive species in Australia, he actually loves toads and ends up having two of them for pets. A man who lives near him sells souvenirs, but he ends up becoming a toad clearer himself. But he is different - he enjoys killing the toads and stuffing them for his new line of souvenirs. No Is Yes A man has kept his 14-year-old daughter Linda locked up in his house for her entire life; he is the only person with whom she has interacted, and he has deliberately communicated with her in 'mixed-up English', using words in opposite contexts (e.g. interchanging the words 'yes' and 'no') to demonstrate a point about the way a person learns to speak. A young plumber visits and is horrified, and the father gives him permission to attempt explain the experiment to Linda, convinced that she will not be able to comprehend what he is telling her; he tries several times, and as the story progresses she shows signs of beginning to understand what her father has done. At the climax of the story, the house burns down with Linda's father trapped inside. When the fireman asks Linda if anyone is inside the house, she tells him 'no'; but, her meaning is left ambiguous. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quirky_Tails Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 18, 2014 Reading the Wiki summaries for the Quirky Tales by Paul Jennings, and it sounds like the musings of a lunatic. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quirky_Tails Haha, that's brilliant. It's like someone read them as a kid and tried to write them up 20 years later from memory or something. Having said that from the few Paul Jennings's stories I read they're usually a bit quirky anyway, so those might all be accurate descriptions! Slightly tempted to try and find them... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 18, 2014 Haha, that's brilliant. It's like someone read them as a kid and tried to write them up 20 years later from memory or something. Having said that from the few Paul Jennings's stories I read they're usually a bit quirky anyway, so those might all be accurate descriptions! Slightly tempted to try and find them... Yeah, I tried explaining what little of Tonsil Eye 'Tis I remembed to a friend a while back. They looked at me as if I was insane. *blank stares* "No, they're really good; honest." *more blank stares* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 18, 2014 I only had one of his books as a kid, I remember one of my primary school teachers had a few and that's what put me onto him. Didn't know for years(and until recognising the story) that he basically made Round the Twist! I just had a look through some of the other stories from his other books and they're rather similarly vague/bizarre in their descriptions! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 19, 2014 Oh wow, now I feel ancient. Those were the days. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 19, 2014 Oh wow, now I feel ancient. Those were the days. Good lord, I'm 24 and I really do feel old now. I did pretty much everything from that list at least once Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 19, 2014 *Typing sound* I remember ICQ being revolutionary (for me) because it actually told you when someone was typing a response. Excitement, followed by disappointment when the response was "brb" and they disappeared for an hour. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 20, 2014 The book, which still doesn't have a release date. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 20, 2014 Reading the Wiki summaries for the Quirky Tales by Paul Jennings, and it sounds like the musings of a lunatic. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quirky_Tails I'm currently working my way through a collection of Edgar Allan Poe books and this seems much more entertaining. Poe is rather boring. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 20, 2014 The weather according to the UKIP A morning kiss between two consenting adults will lead to drizzle on higher ground The early sunshine in the Cotswolds has been replaced by cloud after a man spent a suspiciously long time grooming his facial hair Temperatures will plummet as a result of a man in Cumbria enthusiastically browsing through a home furnishings catalogue Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 20, 2014 I'm currently working my way through a collection of Edgar Allan Poe books and this seems much more entertaining. Poe is rather boring. Dropped me some hard pounds on a number of Paul Jennings books this morning off PLayTrade as a result of these posts! I was ALMOST going to go a library but that was a bit too much effort and more importantly my local library doesn't sort of have them. The weather according to the UKIP That's brilliant. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 21, 2014 Dropped me some hard pounds on a number of Paul Jennings books this morning off PLayTrade as a result of these posts! I was ALMOST going to go a library but that was a bit too much effort and more importantly my local library doesn't sort of have them. Thankfully this book is on the 101 Classic Book Collection for lé DS. I wouldn't mind reading some more classics but I just can't find the effort to start reading one of them. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 21, 2014 The book, which still doesn't have a release date. Oh man. That just reminds me how bad the wait is for this book. (Everyone should read the first two books in the Kingkiller Chronicles, btw). Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 22, 2014 http://www.stunnish.com/guy-writes-greatest-complaint-letter-to-airline/ Dude displeased about being sat next to a fat guy on a plane, reply shizzle here: http://richwiskendrinks.blogspot.com.au/2013/12/dear-jetstar.html The picture on the top link probably isn't the chap in question, but if it was someone of similar size I would be rather miffed too. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 23, 2014 (edited) Plenty more here Edited January 23, 2014 by Dog-amoto Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 24, 2014 For anyone who uses conference calls at work. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 24, 2014 For anyone who uses conference calls at work. Amazingly familiar. Loved the dog bit. Today I sat in a conference call and was basically that dude that says nothing, until the farewells. Thank the heavens for smartphones. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
