tapedeck

How to meet new people...

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Sounds simple but I'm struggling with meeting new folk and this is one of my 2011 aims.

 

Where I live is a bit of a down-beat area where nothing seems to happen, but I'm sick of people using that as an excuse for nothing to do.

Now, being 27 it seems that I'm in a strange place too. A lot of my friends have settled down (which I have no intention of doing at the moment) and so they have new aims in life which usually includes having children or watching TV shows in the house.

 

So, I'm currently finding myself on my own more than usual and have just started to look at events that are on locally. Now I just need to get my social cap on and try to meet folk at these events, trying to worm my way into being some kind of regular Joe. I think the hardest part is doing it on my own. Attending places on your own is a bit daunting and feels like it would actually put people off when they see you on your tod. Also: don't want to come across as desperate or a hanger on. And so these are the psychological barriers I'm currently telling to go away.

 

So, how do you meet new people? I'm up for trying most things and hope to really build a new social circle this year.

Edited by tapedeck

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So, how do you meet new people? I'm up for trying most things and hope to really build a new social circle this year.

 

I don't. :heh: I suck at meeting new people out on the town unless we're introduced by fellow acquaintances. It's a field of expertise I intend to improve on as well.

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I would dread going to somewhere on my own. I would take somebody with me, and then meet new people while you're with them.

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Get off your ass and take to the streets, tapeworm!

Serious, I never got the "meeting people" problem. All you have to do is exist near people, basically.

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All you need to do is meet one awesome person and they'll act as a kind of gateway to loads of other awesome people. Then make yourself available and be friendly and some of these new people introduce you to new people and so on. Lots of ands in that sentence.

 

But what if you don't know an awesome person?

 

As long as you're yourself and not some kind of mega asshole, you'll get there. Just don't always expect to make incredible new friends half drunk out of your mind in a club. It happens in certain circles, but not in all of them. There are people everywhere in the world, so start embracing opportunities.

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Get off your ass and take to the streets, tapeworm!

Serious, I never got the "meeting people" problem. All you have to do is exist near people, basically.

 

There are psychological barriers, though, and few people are lucky enough to be unaffected by them. :heh:

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Is there something you're interested in but have never really pursued? If so then join a local club for whatever it is and take things from there, you should meet a good few people into the same sort of things as you and then you can build out from there - pretty much exactly as Scoop says.

 

Meeting people in real life from the internet is also not as bad as it sounds. I've done that a fair bit and it usually ends up pretty well.

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Yeah, I'm 1,81m and 85Kgs, I wear a panda for a backpack, a trilby hat, stupid shirts with nonsensical phrases I make up on the spot, I wear tights with shorts in winter and all my shorts are bright colours like orange /yellow /red... So yeah, I don't think I'm a very inhibited person, now that you mention it.

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Yeah, I'm 1,81m and 85Kgs, I wear a panda for a backpack, a trilby hat, stupid shirts with nonsensical phrases I make up on the spot, I wear tights with shorts in winter and all my shorts are bright colours like orange /yellow /red... So yeah, I don't think I'm a very inhibited person, now that you mention it.

 

... Um, was that comment aimed at me, or ...? :confused:

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... Um, was that comment aimed at me, or ...? :confused:

 

I think he just likes posting about how he's better/different to us.

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I think he just likes posting about how he's better/different to us.

 

AB08775.jpg?v=1&c=IWSAsset&k=2&d=A5C9C13351D9C3B78AD8A4B253316B6B3B85EDCC7376E7E5BCC630B5FEF7E15D

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Yeah, I'm 1,81m and 85Kgs, I wear a panda for a backpack, a trilby hat, stupid shirts with nonsensical phrases I make up on the spot, I wear tights with shorts in winter and all my shorts are bright colours like orange /yellow /red... So yeah, I don't think I'm a very inhibited person, now that you mention it.

 

I sometimes wonder if you're like this in person.

 

Its somewhat interesting, not insulting, although it does beg for another topic.

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I think he just likes posting about how he's better/different to us.

 

Objectively better.

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I think he just likes posting about how he's better/different to us.

 

Oh come on, how does that make me better? If anything, it makes me worse!

 

I was just observing how I might not be the right person to discuss this, since I'm caustically extroverted.

 

I sometimes wonder if you're like this in person.

Considering I was talking about clothes, how else would you expect me to be like that? In fiction? oO

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I've met most of my "random" friends (ie. friends that I haven't met through school or uni or family) from nights out / people I've slept with. But I suppose thats only because there exists a gay "community", which makes it easier to randomly become friends with people.

 

But yeah, join clubs.

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Get off your ass and take to the streets, tapeworm!

Serious, I never got the "meeting people" problem. All you have to do is exist near people, basically.

 

I see where you're coming from with this yet also perhaps think that some form of sensitivity or understanding is needed too.

I'm an extremely outgoing, sociable person yet only recently have my ore friends dwindled away due to, as said, them suddenly becoming family orientated. I guess most of us go through this change where you can almost be left behind as you have differing attitudes/ideas.

It can also be a rude awakening even knocking an extroverts nature. I guess I feel at this moment in time that it's hard to "start all over again" and due to focusing so much on my career I now know I need to focus on my social life.

 

Sometimes the very fact that there are so many people around you can make you feel more alone. But it's not like I'm depressed as I'm taking action. :bouncy:

 

So yeah, taking to the streets (or joining clubs) is something I'm really going do. I've been trying to get back into playing in a band for a while which would be perfect, and, as I'm not really one to go out drinking/clubbing, I'm looking at more college courses to fit in with my existing course.

 

What I was looking at getting from this thread was an idea of how others have met people,purely for interests sake. This would then assure me of being on the right path whilst offering new ideas to really hammer home 2011 as THE year when I sorted my social life out.

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What I was looking at getting from this thread was an idea of how others have met people,purely for interests sake. This would then assure me of being on the right path whilst offering new ideas to really hammer home 2011 as THE year when I sorted my social life out.

 

The best way I've found to meet new people was college courses. Met some awesome people through the photography course I did. The bonus is that everyone will be there for the same thing, so finding something to talk about isn't a problem. I assume the same is true for clubs.

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I've met most of my "random" friends (ie. friends that I haven't met through school or uni or family) from nights out / people I've slept with. But I suppose thats only because there exists a gay "community", which makes it easier to randomly become friends with people.

 

But yeah, join clubs.

 

This is incredibly true. I wouldn't have half the number of friends I do now were I not gay, it's just far easier to meet and make friends. Literally everyone here, who's gay, appears to in some way link to someone else. Therefore by meeting one, you're bound to end up with at least 3 more friends. Though saying that, it's also a total pain having everyone know everything about you, without even actually knowing them. You sleep with someone, then realise they're actually good friends with so and so.

 

Gays fail.

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Join a sports club! They'll have regular nights where they play each week and you'll be able to chat to people. Chances are a few of them will go out for a drink or something afterwards so you can get involved in that too. It IS daunting going by yourself but you have to jump at these opportunities!

 

Recently I went out on a double date sort of thing with one of my friends brothers and 2 girls he knew, one of which he was 'with' so the other one was 'mine' (so to speak). Anyway, I'd met the brother a few times but hadn't properly spoken to him before that. Since that night I'm really good friends with the brother and talk to him loads.

 

Just last night I went with the girl I'm seeing round to one of her friends houses for a 'night in'. I met this girl about a month ago and I'm getting on really well with her so wanted to meet her friends. Ended up having a good time and no doubt I'll be getting some Facebook friend requests soon as I got on with everyone (and everyone knows that a FB friend is a real friend...).

 

 

And this is me, who used to be really quiet and spend me whole life on this website!

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I joined/co-founded a juggling society in my 2nd year at uni, because post-halls stagnation was setting in. Met a solid group of like-minded friends, some of whom were and still are shite at all forms of juggling trickery, but they too were on the lookout for new friends. In my 4th year I attempted to join a chess club - managed to go along once and met some really interesting people, but unfortunately work persisted in giving me shifts every wednesday that coincided with the starting time of the club.

 

One great thing about clubs is that you'll find a good range of skilled people there - for example, at the chess club there were some geniuses who studied the game heavily, then there were people like me who were simply eager to learn more. Most clubs are ecstatic at noobs showing their face, and if you look hard enough you'll find all sorts of clubs. Book clubs, movie clubs, etc. Even think about starting one up for a hobby or interest you have.

 

Another thing is to look at forums that are centered around your area. You can join up and chat and meet folks at your local pub hassle-free!

 

Since I moved back to brighton I've become less active socially. My girlfriend and her best mate are forever organising things for us to do, but largely I don't keep in touch with anyone. There's a chess club up the road that I may consider joining -- my dad used to go there quite a lot so it'd be interesting to see if anyone makes the connection.

 

Rambleramble!

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I am not very good at meeting new people, they normally aproch me first, sometimes though I make expections... It depends where I am. but someone posted a good way of getting friends, get to know someone that knows a lot of people then get them to introduce you to those people. Having a common interest helps too, I attend whats called a 'moot' which is a pagan social gathering for like minded people.

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