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How Much Toilet Paper is TOO MUCH?

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This has been bugging me all day today.

 

Say you go over to someone's house and use their facilities... just how much paper is considered a greedy wipe? At home I'll wrap my hand and wipe with a generous amount, but at a guest's house what is acceptable?

 

One measly square is the conservative dream, but it a risks a potential tear-through and the dreaded Cadbury Finger, so HOW MUCH IS OKAY? This needs answering. I'm currently at a friend's house, shitting myself after shitting myself debating this.

 

 

 

 

... okay, I'm not a friend's house. I still want your thoughts though.

 

 

This has been another quality discussion thread from your pal The3rdChil- Scoop.

Edited by Guy
Because I always edit my posts.

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Two squares, Scoop. You're a bad friend if you use more than that. Toilet paper doesn't grow on trees.

 

 

This has been another quality post from your sexy pal The5thChil- Magnus.

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I always thought if there's something you couldn't use too much of was toilet paper?

 

.......just don't block your toilet.

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I can't believe anyone would actually care, it's not like toilet paper is expensive.

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If they were poor or cheap, they would be using newspaper or a nearby family pet.

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Very carefully.

 

 

If they were poor or cheap, they would be using newspaper or a nearby family pet.

"How many wipes with the family dog are too many?"

 

Newspaper might be a viable alternative for Scoop next time, though. Then he wouldn't have to worry about wasting toilet paper.

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Let me just say this is one of the funniest threads I have ever seen, the laughs per post ratio is very high.

 

It depends on the friend, and how many rolls there are in the toilet. 3 or 4 of them is enough.

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The whole roll.

 

 

That's too much. Do I win?

 

Well Captein, you do use a whole roll to write the shopping list on.

 

(btw new RA comic is up)

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I once had to make a friend wipe his brown Eye of Sauron with a sheet of newspaper. He didn't want to come around much after that.

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I once had to make a friend wipe his brown Eye of Sauron with a sheet of newspaper. He didn't want to come around much after that.

 

It feels like an appropriate time to re-tell a story that you may have missed. Last year Goafer and some friends of mine went on a theme park weekend. Due to not being able to find a camp site that accepted groups of males we were forced to sleep in a layby on the second night.

 

Phil pissing on the BBQ.

 

7616_257374480580_509970580_8837787_1500191_n.jpg

 

Phil taking a dump on the BBQ. He didn't even ask if anyone had any tissue.

 

7616_257374510580_509970580_8837793_5622408_n.jpg

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This thread is quickly turning into gold... en brown, texture like sun.

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You cannot say that without posting the song itself. One of my favourite songs. Fucking amazing. Have never linked it to faeces before, but its a comparison I won't leave behind on future listens.

 

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How can you wipe your arse with 1 or even 2 sheets?

 

Exactly my thoughts. You must have immensely precise and non-messy poo if two sheets are enough to take care of the exit pipe.

 

 

I swear it seems familiar, but thanks for (re)introducing me! Great song! :D

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Nah, 2's too little, 4 does the job nicely - fold in half & half again.

 

(Plus another 4 if you need)

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Who cares about the amount of toilet roll, if I'm shitting at someone elses house I more worried about whether they've got air freshner!

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All my friends have upgraded to the "three shells" method. I've still got no idea how the fuck it works.

 

Plus Wesley Snipes seems hell bent on fucking my shit up (not literally).

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I've not taken a dump at a mates house in a long time, so i wouldn't know the exact quantity of bog roll to use. I just use what i use, it is there to be used. I just make sure i leave some for the next person. Enough to not make them change the roll, but enough to make sure i don't either.

 

But what is more important, is the air freshner. Don't use too much, and don't use too little. You don't want them knowing that the turd stank, or you just took a turd do ya.

Edited by Jimbob

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You don't want them knowing that ...... you just took a turd do ya.

 

Yeah, just tell them you were having a quick wank instead, much less embarrassing.

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