bad stuff thread.

[Ashley]

After 9 years it seems my ipod touch has finally died. Might look into getting a cheap android phone for music. I liked having a separate device that I knew would last some time and wouldn't drain my phone battery. Good thing I didn't have to wake up at a certain time this morning as I usually use it for the alarm.

 

Also the night before I suffered from what is apparently called Exploding Head Syndrome. At 4am it felt like a light bulb blew up in my head. Heard a load bang and saw a bright flash. Was quite terrifying to say the least.

[bob]

Did you check to see that your head hadn't actually exploded?

[Ashley]

Did you check to see that your head hadn't actually exploded?

 

Pretty sure it didn't. It's a dramatic name (although it does feel accurate) but apparently that's what its called!

[martinist]

Also the night before I suffered from what is apparently called Exploding Head Syndrome. At 4am it felt like a light bulb blew up in my head. Heard a load bang and saw a bright flash. Was quite terrifying to say the least.

 

I had that a few years ago. Got up to pee and as I was walking down the hall my vision went totally white and it sounded like there was a really strong wind blowing from behind me. Then it all stopped suddenly. Really wierd experience.

[stuwii]

Still looking for a job and it's getting very depressing , masters degree and can't find anything at all . Feeling very isolated and considering the year started with me kissing my now ex girlfriend it all seems like a very very sick joke . Thing is she was still at uni so it's also caused the collapse of my entire social network and I'm starting to think I've turned my life into a get by excercise .

[Daft]

I just have to get this out of my system...

 

Fuck people who talk around things instead of just being straightforward and coherent. I will go so far as to make things simple, giving people a binary choice of 'Yes' or 'No', but if you come back to me with more non-committal shit, you can go fuck yourself. You are worse than people who try to get on elevators before anyone gets off.

 

Example...

 

Me: 'Do you want to do 'X', yes or no?'

 

Moron: If we do 'X' then 'Z' and 'Y' might or might not happen, but doing 'X' is possible.

 

Me:

[drahkon]

@Daft sounds similar to the thing I hate most when I'm single.

 

Me: "Would you like to have a drink with me tonight?"

Her: "Hm, not sure. Maybe tomorrow but I don't know if I have time. Or maybe in two days. Or never. Or tonight. I don't know."

Me:

[drahkon]

Just got told that a former classmate has died. Suicide apparently.

 

After we'd finished school we didn't really stay in contact since we both went our own ways but still...

[S.C.G]

Just got told that a former classmate has died. Suicide apparently.

 

After we'd finished school we didn't really stay in contact since we both went our own ways but still...

 

That's pretty sad news regardless of how much time has passed, I mean you studied together and had that shared life experience.

 

Never good to hear such news, it reminded me when I found out that one of my tutors from when I went to college many years ago took his own life...

 

It was years after I'd left but it still has an effect on you; in my case I discovered it in the local newspaper.

 

I suppose there's not really much else to say other than that I hope you're doing alright though.

[Daft]

Today has not been a good day. I feel like I want to cry just to get it out of me. I so entirely hate being me sometimes.

 

/rant

[S.C.G]

Today has not been a good day. I feel like I want to cry just to get it out of me. I so entirely hate being me sometimes.

 

/rant

 

Not to sound all "me too!" but I feel like that quite often at times.

 

It can be difficult to let it out even if you want to.

 

Sometimes I suppose it's easier to hate being one's self than to love one's self.

 

Often I hear that advice about... "If you want to love then first you must learn to love yourself..." but then I think, that might be easy for someone to say if they've only known how to love themselves but never to hate.

 

Surely it's better to have a balance? If you love who you are sometimes but other times you hate yourself then surely you'll appreciate those days of love all the more...

 

Anyway, I just kind of started typing there and that happened! I don't know if I can call it good or bad advice, more ramblings I suppose but if it helped then I'm glad, if not then... I tried.

 

In any case, you're great! You don't need me to tell you that but I did anyway, so there! :p

[Daft]

I thought I was pretty good at loving myself. And then I basically had a massive fucking spiral of doubt that was compounded by someone's...very minimal responses (in my mind) so I started second guessing them – ridiculously from an objective standpoint. But I created this narrative in my head that was a worst case scenario kind of thing and when I'm on one of these trips... It's hard to stop me.

 

I actually think it's a kind of mania. I don't really want to armchair diagnose myself or belittle people who actually suffer from it but it feels like I have mania.

 

[S.C.G]

I thought I was pretty good at loving myself. And then I basically had a massive fucking spiral of doubt that was compounded by someone's...very minimal responses (in my mind) so I started second guessing them – ridiculously from an objective standpoint. But I created this narrative in my head that was a worst case scenario kind of thing and when I'm on one of these trips... It's hard to stop me.

 

I actually think it's a kind of mania. I don't really want to armchair diagnose myself or belittle people who actually suffer from it but it feels like I have mania.

 

 

For what it's worth, I've always thought that you are good at it, to the point that I'd find it quite inspirational on some level; sometimes hearing someone's positive outlook on themself can have a positive effect on those around them, so long as it comes across as genuine love and not too much on the side of narcissism... :wink: (it can be a fine line sometimes but I think yours is the former rather than the latter, anyway I'm not judging either way just trying to provide some perspective)

 

But yeah, the spirals of doubt... those thoughts and dialogues which can play out in the mind until you mentally hit an all time low and feel like having a meltdown? I can relate to that, maybe not in the same way but on some level... I have Asperger Syndrome (I've probably mentioned it before here and there, I lose track) so I'm used to abstract thought processes and developing "coping mechanisms" as I like to call them, it's not always easy though.

 

Perhaps your own diagnosis is correct, perhaps not, it's not for me to say either way... ultimately you know your own mind best though, I wouldn't say that you're belittling anyone though, at least you're trying to explain how you feel which is good as it can help.

 

I follow you though, sometimes it's difficult to stop these spiralling thought processes and you've just got to ride it out, I hope things even themselves out for you soon though and if you want/need to talk/vent then I'm/we're here.

[Blade]

@Daft hope you are okay buddy.

[Daft]

Thanks @S\.C\.G I really appreciate your input.

 

I think it's only a very minor blip but it's indicative of shit that I still need to get sorted. So I'm going to be positive and say that realisation is a good one to have. For starters I think I need to learn to slow down and basically stop blowing everything up in my head.

 

It's that frustrating cliche that you can't see the wood from the trees until you're in the clear.

[Fierce_LiNk]

Just got told that a former classmate has died. Suicide apparently.

 

After we'd finished school we didn't really stay in contact since we both went our own ways but still...

 

Today has not been a good day. I feel like I want to cry just to get it out of me. I so entirely hate being me sometimes.

 

/rant

 

I thought I was pretty good at loving myself. And then I basically had a massive fucking spiral of doubt that was compounded by someone's...very minimal responses (in my mind) so I started second guessing them – ridiculously from an objective standpoint. But I created this narrative in my head that was a worst case scenario kind of thing and when I'm on one of these trips... It's hard to stop me.

 

I actually think it's a kind of mania. I don't really want to armchair diagnose myself or belittle people who actually suffer from it but it feels like I have mania.

 

 

Just read these posts. Take care, guys.

[drahkon]

Thanks @S\.C\.G. and @Fierce_LiNk

 

The funeral of my former classmate is tomorrow and I had to leave work early just now because I couldn't concentrate.

 

I'm really not good with funerals...well, who is, I guess...

[gaggle64]

Sorry to hear folks are feeling ground down, hope it looks brighter for you all soon.

 

I must admit going back to the job hunt rigmarole so soon is starting to take it's toll, I've worked hard on my mental health over the past year but it feels like some of the bad stuff is starting to creep back in. Objectively minor problems are starting to feel bigger again. I know that, one way or the other, it's all going to be OK but life sure can make it hard to let yourself feel like it.

 

[Jimbob]

Spent the best part of an hour trying to regain access to my email account last night, some bugger had hacked it. Would have been quicker if the entire process didn't loop itself and gave me the correct page. Got it back, changed all the passwords just after 1am.

[Happenstance]

Had a tooth ache (kind of) for a couple of weeks now. I'm pretty sure its a gum infection as its not a specific tooth but the jaw. I just hate going to the dentist so have been trying to sort it myself with hot salt water which usually helps. Its been up and down but last night was worse than usual. I'm going to give it another day or so to calm back down and if it doesnt I'll finally ring the dentist

[killthenet]

Trump now only 2% behind in the polls, and ahead in Ohio and Florida - two of the key battlegrounds - with only a week to go until the election.

[Fierce_LiNk]

Trump now only 2% behind in the polls, and ahead in Ohio and Florida - two of the key battlegrounds - with only a week to go until the election.

 

I'm shocked at that. The email scandal is really fucking with Hillary's plans.

 

I think both candidates are awful, though. Neither should be President and they are two poor choices to represent their country.

[killthenet]

I'm shocked at that. The email scandal is really fucking with Hillary's plans.

 

I think both candidates are awful, though. Neither should be President and they are two poor choices to represent their country.

 

Totally agree, both of them are unfit to lead a nation but things will certainly be less bleak if Hillary can hang on. The fact that it's even a possibility that she could lose to someone as odious as Trump says everything about how disliked she is.

[Fierce_LiNk]

Totally agree, both of them are unfit to lead a nation but things will certainly be less bleak if Hillary can hang on. The fact that it's even a possibility that she could lose to someone as odious as Trump says everything about how disliked she is.

 

It's mind-blowing how Trump is even getting this far. It displays everything that I hate about US politics. The mantra of US politics seems to be that "if you throw enough money at it, it'll work/win" which I just don't agree with. It doesn't mean the best candidate is right for the country. It's about greedy (rich) people who already have tons of power obtaining even more power and the money that comes with it.

[killthenet]

It's mind-blowing how Trump is even getting this far. It displays everything that I hate about US politics. The mantra of US politics seems to be that "if you throw enough money at it, it'll work/win" which I just don't agree with. It doesn't mean the best candidate is right for the country. It's about greedy (rich) people who already have tons of power obtaining even more power and the money that comes with it.

 

Yet perversely it's the disillusioned poor that are the driving force behind Trump's success, they seem to think Trump is going to bring back jobs and reinvigorate the deprived inner cities, but Trump is far more likely to increase the divide between rich and poor than anything else.