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I've just been told by the doctors late last night and this morning that my Grandad has days left to live. I'm really sad. I shouldn't be surprised but I can't take it in. It's weird being told that you only have a few more days with someone until they're out of your life forever. I can never explain it to anybody.

 

:(

Came in here to complain about how I had a filling today that they didn't ground down enough causing me to be unable to rest but saw this :(

 

I'm sorry buddy. I've been there. We're all here for you during this time. Just try and spend as much time as you can and always remember the best times.

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Hermes

 

I'm glad that Debenham's have stepped up (which they are legally obliged to do, they are responsible for the item until it reaches your or your nominated neighbour, not Hermes nominated neighbour) and admitted fault, given you a refund etc.

 

Couriers really are a pain in the arse. Amazon Logistics are actually some of the best I've experienced which I'm very surprised about. They deliver evenings/weekends, they've phoned me when I'm not home to ask what to do, come back later even some times.

 

DHL are the best though with how they show you their delivery slot and where the driver currently is.

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I'm really sorry to hear that @Animal :( even if you were expecting it you can never be fully prepared for news like that.

 

I remember when I lost my grandparents on my mother's side years ago, I still miss them a lot to this very day...

 

All I can say is make those days count as I'm sure you will.

 

Of course I realise these words will probably be of little comfort to you right now, but we're here if you want to talk.

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my mum has 2 out of 3 DNA deformities which causes hemachromatosis (not developed the disease yet) and it runs in families.

 

I was tested today.. 2 weeks wait for the results......... :shakehead

 

@Animal - love and hugs to you, can't imagine what you're going through :-(

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my mum has 2 out of 3 DNA deformities which causes hemachromatosis (not developed the disease yet) and it runs in families.

 

I was tested today.. 2 weeks wait for the results......... :shakehead

 

I'm sorry to hear that Hannah. :(

 

Is there at least a chance that your mum might not develop the disease?

 

Either way, my best wishes to the both of you and the rest of your family.

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Came in here to complain about how I had a filling today that they didn't ground down enough causing me to be unable to rest but saw this :(

 

I'm sorry buddy. I've been there. We're all here for you during this time. Just try and spend as much time as you can and always remember the best times.

 

I'm practically here 24/7 now. I've not gone home in days. He picked up a bit so I'm happy about that. However, it's getting harder to wake him up and the doctors said that that will be likely when he'll never wake again. Either that or he'll forget how to breathe. It's just too cruel. I never imagined it'd be like this...

 

Oh and I'm sorry to hear you can't rest. I know someone with that problem and they tell me it's not nice. Is there no way you can go back and tell them to ground it down more?

 

I'm really sorry to hear that @Animal :( even if you were expecting it you can never be fully prepared for news like that.

 

I remember when I lost my grandparents on my mother's side years ago, I still miss them a lot to this very day...

 

All I can say is make those days count as I'm sure you will.

 

Of course I realise these words will probably be of little comfort to you right now, but we're here if you want to talk.

 

It's like we've known for months and months and we've been seeing him deteriorate but it's horrific to hear it again and again. He's like a second dad to me. There's never been a day that's gone by where I've never seen him or spoken to him. Heck, even when I was working 2 jobs and had no time to myself, I still spoke to him on the phone.

 

Any words are a comfort to me right now. It's weird but knowing people have gone through this and came out okay makes it a little better so thank you.

 

my mum has 2 out of 3 DNA deformities which causes hemachromatosis (not developed the disease yet) and it runs in families.

 

I was tested today.. 2 weeks wait for the results......... :shakehead

 

@Animal - love and hugs to you, can't imagine what you're going through :-(

 

Thanks, gurl. I'm sorry to hear that about your mom. I hope you're both okay and I wish you all the best for the results.

 

I weirdly cheered up a little putting the Christmas tree up in his room. I walked to the town centre, bought some baubles from Poundland and came back to the room to hang them up and I found one in my pocket- an Olaf bauble that I looked at. I forgot to put it back (I swear I totally forgot!). Anyway, told my Grandad the story and he laughed a little and he loves the tree (not a fan of Christmas but he likes a good tree). Colour scheme is just blue for Birmingham City and the Olaf bauble is at the top of the tree, pmsl.

 

Still, it put a smile on his face and I got a giggle out of him so I'm a tiny bit happy :) I feel guilty for being a bit happy but then him liking the tree makes me that way.

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I just wanted to thank everyone here for their support when I needed it and thank you all for well-wishing my Grandad. He passed away early Sunday morning with me, my dad and my mom around him. He wasn't alone. I feel like my heart is breaking in a million pieces again and again...R.I.P Grandad! :(

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I just wanted to thank everyone here for their support when I needed it and thank you all for well-wishing my Grandad. He passed away early Sunday morning with me, my dad and my mom around him. He wasn't alone. I feel like my heart is breaking in a million pieces again and again...R.I.P Grandad! :(

 

I'm truly sorry for your loss Animal. :(

 

At least you and your family were there for him, N-E is here for you if you need us.

 

R.I.P

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That is the best way for anybody to go. Surrounded by loved ones, and peacefully with (hopefully) no pain. I'm sure he had a great life. He was lucky to have such a fantastic grandson to see him through to the end.

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I'm so sorry to hear about your grandad Animal, losing someone you love is painful, but at least you were there for him through all this. That would have meant a lot to him.

 

It will be difficult now, but hopefully in the future you can look back on the good memories you have of your grandad and have them bring a smile to your face.

 

*hugs*

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I'm sorry to hear that Hannah. :(

 

Is there at least a chance that your mum might not develop the disease?

 

Either way, my best wishes to the both of you and the rest of your family.

 

There are 3 genetic mutations which can cause this condition, and apparently only having one means you're probably just a carrier. Having 2 means either/or (ie you have faulty genes, might not have it now but go to develop it in later years), and 3 is nearly a definite. So there's more chance than not that she will, especially in females hitting their menopause as they don't bleed the excess iron out through normal female means lol

 

Thanks, gurl. I'm sorry to hear that about your mom. I hope you're both okay and I wish you all the best for the results.

 

Thank you sweetness. Always thinking about others even through your suffering. Love you mate xo

 

Birmingham City

 

My mum would bloody love you, shes a big City fan lol :bowdown: (probably the only one in ballymena lol)

 

--

 

I'm ringing tomorrow to find out my iron results, then another week for the dna results (ohh its like jeremy kyle). Part of me is thinking it being positive would make sense out of a lot of things happening in my life, and the other part doesn't want to have this condition.

 

I'm just scattered all over the bloody place at the moment, my heads up my arse.... drugs are spacing me out completely and i'm really feeling quite ill and sore at the moment :-( I've no formal diagnosis apart from having a lot of immune system involvement... just very frustrating when you're 29, supposedly at the prime of your life and you struggle to do anything. ::shrug:

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Oh boy. Somebody found a gas leak yesterday morning and the whole building hasn't had heating or hot water since. The utility guys had 3 vans on the case immediately but they've basically got to put fresh pipes in because the existing ones are rotten. They've been at it all day yesterday and today but we'll be lucky to have hot water back before end of tomorrow. I want a shower. >.<

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I just wanted to thank everyone here for their support when I needed it and thank you all for well-wishing my Grandad. He passed away early Sunday morning with me, my dad and my mom around him. He wasn't alone. I feel like my heart is breaking in a million pieces again and again...R.I.P Grandad! :(

 

I'm sorry for your loss @Animal, losing family is never easy. But he was surrounded by those he loved and I'm sure he was very proud of you and will continue to be.

 

:heart:

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Bad stuff but eventual good stuff:

 

I was Christmas shopping today and got this pack of cards that look really nice, all artsy with a little boy in a santa hat in roald dahl kind of style but after buying them I thought of my nephew and started to go on another long-winded depressing tangent on how he's not here and all the excitement I had at the start of the year thinking of what Christmas will be like with a little kid in the house. I then thought damn if I'm thinking this then my brother will probably think the same when he see's the card. I got a new pack of cards.

 

Shit like this happens every day, the tiniest of things can set you off emotionally. I was looking through the yearly playlist and making my top songs of 2015 (because I do really lame things like that :p) and when it come to the March/April songs ugh, it felt like my heart had been ripped out. Every song from those few months was a distraction at the time but is torture to listen to now.

 

But these last few weeks I've finally let myself THINK and have actually started dealing with things in my head. Since he died in March and I had that fucking awful honour of carrying his tiny coffin in the funeral I have not let myself think for a second. If I've been out of work then I've had stuff on constantly, earphones blasting when doing housework or walking the dog, always something set up and ready to watch when im setting down to eat food, reddit on the toilet, streaming The Office endlessly whenever I'm going to sleep (it's a comfort thing now after the fourth or fifth run), retail therapy to the extreme, so many fucking games, some of which I've accidently bought twice and some I forget I even have, DVD's and series all over the place, so much fucking wine but I finally shut everything up two weeks ago.

 

I was about to go to bed but the wifi was playing up, no office, then the power went off, no series or dvds, I went to play a podcast on my phone but the battery was super low. I finally thought fuck it, I'll sleep with nothing. That's when it happened, it always feels like I'm jumping in a swamp and the more I think, the deeper I sink and harder it is to get out.

 

I remember the days I'd blocked out, like mom telling me she had to identify the baby again after the autopsy, the fucking disgusting nightmares ive had, the messed up things like how i cant look at a newborn baby without thinking "is it dead?". It's not until you write these things you realised just how messed up you let yourself get. I let myself turn into such a hateful bastard when I saw people parading their kids on facebook but it wasnt their fault, so I simply limit my use of it now.

 

I still remember the confused call from my brother on that morning, in tears trying to make out what he was saying. I knew from the fact the baby was due and the fact my brother was fucking crying uncontrollably that it wasnt good so i ran to their house at 7am hysterically to find the door locked and no cars there. I remember ringing my mom sat outside the house barely able to get words out when she told me shed sent a taxi to get me to the hospital. Walking in the looked perfect, I held him and it genuinely just looked like he was sleeping. seeing my brother and sister in law hold him looking so proud but so heartbroken, being in a room with all my family just crying and not saying anything, it was so bizarre and fucking weird.

 

I spent most of last week in bed, thinking there's not much reason to get up, what am I even working towards, what's the point in the constant routine of forcing myself to be happy and forcing myself to do things and forcing myself to be sociable when all I want to do is stay in bed. But that's when I did a lot of thinking and I needed that week to just let myself explode and let all of the shit out that I'd been blocking for the past 6 months.

 

Anyway, I feel slightly better now after allowing myself to be free. Right now it feels as though when you step out of a club youve been in for hours, you got so used to the constant noise that you didn't really notice it, but the relief when you get outside into the silence is amazing.

 

There's been plenty of other shit on my mind these last few months that I can't get into, but coming to terms with one of the majour traumas, or at least accepting it's real and not living in a fantasy bubble, is something.

 

I won'y contstantly mourn on it though, I think it's good that I /can/ escape and still enjoy myself but I am gonna make a conscious effort to allow myself every few days or so to just think over things and put them into perspective. Re-Calibrate my mind so to speak :p

 

So my view of Christmas has been all over the place. Some days I think "ugh, lets get this bullshit over with quickly" then other days I think I should make more of an effort to make sure we all have fun this time of year as its been utter shit. I dunno, I did a lot of christmas shopping today anyway and I'm gonna get some wrapping done.

 

So a lot of bad stuff but as I said, I've come to terms with it which is good, and I've curbed my drinking to just with friends again, as I'd got in an awful habit of using it as a form of getting lost in entertainment on my evenings in and blocking out other thoughts. The last thing I need to do is put myself on the road to alcoholism.

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My Nan's had to go back into hospital with various infections and a blood clot after her hip operation a few weeks ago. At the moment they dont want to operate on her because she is too weak but even if she's stronger its still a risk. My mum seems to be hopeful that all the antibiotics will help and then we can just control it by drinking a lot of water (which to be fair did work the last time, its just because after she broke her hip she wasnt well enough to keep drinking regularly) but ive got to say, I'm starting to get that feeling that she might not come out of hospital this time.

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My Nan's had to go back into hospital with various infections and a blood clot after her hip operation a few weeks ago. At the moment they dont want to operate on her because she is too weak but even if she's stronger its still a risk. My mum seems to be hopeful that all the antibiotics will help and then we can just control it by drinking a lot of water (which to be fair did work the last time, its just because after she broke her hip she wasnt well enough to keep drinking regularly) but ive got to say, I'm starting to get that feeling that she might not come out of hospital this time.

 

Well the doctor is really happy with how my Nan is responding to the antibiotics and doesnt think she will need the surgery after all. The reason this is still in the bad thread is because they have now found another blood clot in her shoulder which could potentially travel down into her lungs/heart and kill her. To stop that they need to do a simple procedure to insert a filter to keep it from happening. This is an incredibly low risk procedure that doesnt even have to be done by a surgeon but my Nan is refusing to have it, claiming they want to experiment on her and shes asking to be moved hospitals. We are going to visit her again tonight to try and convince her as its basically this or she could very well die. This is exactly the kind of stuff that lead to my Nan going back into hospital to begin with, she is incredibly arrogant, thinks she knows best and ignores doctor's advice.

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I'm having to be so fucking careful at browsing this site now. I'm using tapatalk, which shows you the first line of the latest post in a thread (and for some reason, it doesn't recognise Spoiler tags), so I have to slowly check if the Star Wars thread has new posts, then scroll past quickly to avoid seeing anything. It's hard guys.

 

Life's hard.

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I'm having to be so fucking careful at browsing this site now. I'm using tapatalk, which shows you the first line of the latest post in a thread (and for some reason, it doesn't recognise Spoiler tags), so I have to slowly check if the Star Wars thread has new posts, then scroll past quickly to avoid seeing anything. It's hard guys.

 

Life's hard.

 

Yeah, that's something Tapatalk really needs. I would have thought spoiler tags are popular enough across forums to have warranted support by now.

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So we did Secret Santa at work today...

 

...and my Secret Santa either forgot or couldn't be bothered with me. Everyone else was there opening what turned out to be a lot of very thoughtful gifts and there was me sitting pretending like I didn't give a crap.

 

And doing a bad job pf pretending at that. I genuinely thought I made enough of an impact on people's lives hree to generate enough respect and love, but obviously I'm just nobody.

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So we did Secret Santa at work today...

 

...and my Secret Santa either forgot or couldn't be bothered with me. Everyone else was there opening what turned out to be a lot of very thoughtful gifts and there was me sitting pretending like I didn't give a crap.

 

And doing a bad job pf pretending at that. I genuinely thought I made enough of an impact on people's lives hree to generate enough respect and love, but obviously I'm just nobody.

 

That fucking sucks. What happened? When it transpired that you didn't have one? What did they say? How many people were in it? Did anyone blush?

 

This is pretty much why I disassociate myself as far as possible from Secret Santa. Everything goes wrong. It's bullshit.

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So we did Secret Santa at work today...

 

...and my Secret Santa either forgot or couldn't be bothered with me. Everyone else was there opening what turned out to be a lot of very thoughtful gifts and there was me sitting pretending like I didn't give a crap.

 

And doing a bad job of pretending at that. I genuinely thought I made enough of an impact on people's lives here to generate enough respect and love, but obviously I'm just nobody.

 

That's awful Iun. :(

 

I've never bothered going in for any Secret Santa, mainly because I just assume it will either go wrong or the gift will probably be naff etc...

 

Anyway, I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling down about it; never think that you're nobody though because that's simply not true.

 

You're still the stuff of legends personified to me. :awesome:

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That's nothing. I got socks this year. FUCKING SOCKS.

 

To make matters worse, a colleague got a fucking X Wing model.

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That's nothing. I got socks this year. FUCKING SOCKS.

 

To make matters worse, a colleague got a fucking X Wing model.

 

What was the budget?

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