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Raining_again

What do you feeear?

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I'm talking like PROPER fear... not like.....zomg daddy long legs....narghhg *bats it away*

 

I mean stuff that scares you to the depth of your heart.

 

 

Hallucinations.... (hold the phone call to the psych ward) which are medication related. Because of this I CANNOT sleep in the dark. I was a little worried when we had a power cut on Saturday night.. to say the least. Leading to about 2 hours sleep, and a hideous migraine when I woke up.

 

That pre-doctors appointment where you know shit is about to go down. Tomorrow I am going to see a neurologist.. and the fear of what they may say makes me feel like there is a ten ton weight on my shoulders. The last time I had a positive diagnosis I was so scared I just broke down (in the middle of the office lol)

 

When you get told you've got the worst case of something that the doctor has ever seen. When you're one of the first to go on a treatment in that clinic. When you get told you have to learn to inject yourself... and when the treatment stops working or poisons your body.

 

 

tl;dr - daddy long legs are scawieeee

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Coincidentally about twenty minutes ago I had "the fear" moment when I though "shit, I'm actually moving to London in a few days".

 

But that's not something I generally fear.

 

Heights. I get that uneasy feeling in my feet. I can go up them (for skyscraper views and the like) but I'm not comfortable about them. I think I'm scared of falling from a height, because even in shopping centres (for example) I get nervy around the edge if its a straight drop.

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My parents were killed by a daddy long legs... you're so insensitive...

 

o______O

 

*scared times a million*

 

Seriously though, I'm so massively terrified of daddy long legs - worse than any other insect... I can push a queen bee out of a window but I can't even be in the same room as a daddy long legs..

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I'm scared of dying alone

 

 

I want to take at least 10 of those fuckers with me

 

I am actually scared of that. I'm not scared of dying because we're all going to die eventually but it's the thought of your last moments on earth alone, it scares me.

 

I'm not absolutely petrified of this but I feel uneasy in the dark. I'll jump at everything and anything. I hate the dark so much.

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Right now? Right now, I'm most of all afraid to stand on my own legs in life. This is due to the autistic traits I still have, namely facing huge changes that my mind can't handle all at once. Moving away from home, starting uni, heck, even learning to drive, it all scares me shitless. There are so many things coming at me at once, so much growing up to do and so much responsibility to take. I just don't feel ready. I don't feel ready at all. But I also know I probably never will.

 

Cripes, my pulse is rising just thinking about it all ...

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I'm scared of dying alone

 

Yep, i'm scared of that as well. I don't particulary wish to die alone.

 

I'm not really scared of anything else too much, i do fear being "jumped" at night.

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Lack of existence/death (not the pain of, the fact we all experience, yet can on no level ever comprehend it in a satisfactory or comforting way).

 

But I've emo'd out on that on his forum many times so will spare you.

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I hate spiders, insects, generally things like that. Heights, even though i love rollercoasters, it's just the ascent i hate, rest of it i love.

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Well i'm terrified of Whales (Blue Whale, Sperm Whale, Humpback Whale in particular)

 

i cant think of any reasoning as to why, other than the fact they are fucking huge, then that makes me think how large / deep / endless the sea is, and that freaks me out too.

 

 

OR i blame Pinochio (the disney version) that fucking Whale in that film must of done it as i watched that film alot when i was younger.

 

 

 

In terms of emotional fears, i allways allways fear about my Mum and Dads safety and well being.

 

I've only moved out from their house this year and obviously before that i had lived with them for 23 years, so when i got home from school, college, work, going out they are allways there. But now when i get home i go to a new house with my girlfriend, and thats a great feeling know she's there and safe, but i still need to fully get used to the fact that Parents arent there.

 

i know thats weird, i'm sure it'll pass.

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I fear the thought of someone finding my hard drive.

lol

 

Nothing scares me just by thinking about it but that's because I'm a beast. I'd be terrified of a lot of things face to face though.

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Losing people I care about I guess. (I.e they die) I've never been in that position, and I'm not sure how I'd handle that.

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Aw, Raineeng, you'll be fine. Goodluck!

 

I fucking hate mice, rats or anything rodenty. I turn into a big sissy girl when I see one. Its the tails, the feet, the faces...really don't like them.

 

Buttt, that isn't entirely answering Raineeng's thread question. Probably losing my parents/grand parents. They're both old, and have quite a lot of health issues and stuff. So, I guess it will only be a matter of time before I get a phone-call or I'm actually there and something happens. Yeah, that's quite scary.

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I fear flies. Fucking things.

 

I fear death of somebody I know. It's horrible.

 

Most of all, I fear not being able to breathe. I still remember nightmares I had a kid where I felt like my face was being sucked into a pillow. Worst nightmares I've ever had.

Drowning is a death I do not wish.

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I fear people can't see past the fact that I'm overweight.

 

:(

 

Went to the neurology appointment today. What a pointless waste of time.

 

Apparently the fact that i'm having severe episodes of panic-attack like exhaustion, migraines, hallucinations, double vision, inability to focus, and general fatigue, including difficulty with breathing... is because I'm fat..? And then suggested...caffeine. What doctor in their right mind suggests caffeine to someone with hallucinations and panic attacks..

 

I'm just astonished. I'm so close to heading towards a mental breakdown without him writing me off as ... useless.

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I fear people can't see past the fact that I'm overweight.

 

:(

 

Went to the neurology appointment today. What a pointless waste of time.

 

Apparently the fact that i'm having severe episodes of panic-attack like exhaustion, migraines, hallucinations, double vision, inability to focus, and general fatigue, including difficulty with breathing... is because I'm fat..? And then suggested...caffeine. What doctor in their right mind suggests caffeine to someone with hallucinations and panic attacks..

 

I'm just astonished. I'm so close to heading towards a mental breakdown without him writing me off as ... useless.

You're NOT useless, and you know you're not! Don't let such moronic statements from morons like him get you down.

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Yeah, that doctor sounds shady. Definitely not someone I would pay attention to.

We're talking about a man whose obligation is to care for his patients' health. If he stops caring about those patients because of their weight, then there is something very wrong with his opinions, work ethic and general value as a person.

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