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Captain Falcon

Apologies

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Yesterday was a friend of mine's birthday... and unfortunately I forgot. What makes it worse is that last year, I had a little moan about her forgetting my birthday even though they are just one week apart but this time is was me who dropped the ball.

 

She sent me a text just after 10 informing me of the fact and I felt really bad about it. I replied to her text in my traditional fashion (i.e. lengthy) and then I sent a short one too. She still sounded a bit annoyed so I sent her a message on Facebook too but heard nothing back.

 

So it's 11 now and I'm feeling really bad at this point so I'm wondering what I can do...

 

And then it hits me, I'll get her a birthday card. Yes it is only her birthday for 1 more hour and no I'm not entirely sure where she lives - I know the street, having taken her home from work, but not the house number. Making good use of BTs online phonebook, I find the house number, so I know where I'm going now at least. But before I can go, I need to get my dad's car moved and that requires waking him from his sleep... not good.

 

Right, I've got my car out - now I need a card. Luckily Tesco is open 24/7 and is just a couple of miles away... in the opposite direction. Roads are quiet which is good and I get there fairly quickly.

 

The front has a picture of a dog and the caption reads something along the lines of "with these eyes I can get away with anything" which I thought might just work.

 

I get my card, write a little message inside and then I'm off - it's just another 10 miles to her house.

 

I get to the street and I'm struggling to find the house - house numbers aren't easy to read in the dark and at a distance (ask Rez - he'll back me up!). Fortunately, I know what car she drives, even though I've never seen it myself, and after a bit of walk up and down, I find the place.

 

And so I pop the card through the letterbox at 11.51 - so it's still technically her birthday - and I hope that will make her forgive me if just a little and put a smile on her face when she wakes up in the morning and sees it.

 

 

And so yeah, the point of the thread was really how far do you go to apologise to someone and what does it take to earn your forgiveness. Do you like to hold grudges or are you easily swayed on such matters?

Edited by Captain Falcon

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Great story, I bet she'll forgive you instantly after seeing the card. If you did get the right house that is ;)

 

I will pretty much accept any apology that sounds sincere. I generally don't hold grudges but no one has really wronged me in any real way that I can remember.

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Great story, I bet she'll forgive you instantly after seeing the card. If you did get the right house that is ;)

 

I will pretty much accept any apology that sounds sincere. I generally don't hold grudges but no one has really wronged me in any real way that I can remember.

 

I should have put a note on the back of the envelope saying to please deliver to Ms X if I've got the wrong house - as it stands it's just got her first name on the front of the thing.

 

I think sometimes I let people off too easily. I think I am so desperate to believe they are sorry, because it's easier than seeing them for who they really are, that I'll let them get away with it. But then something like that is probably telling of the relationship of the whole. To call it a sham may be a bit harsh but perhaps it isn't really what you thought it was and never will be as a result.

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I'm actually incapable of staying annoyed at someone for more than a few hours, however angry I seem at the time. That said, it takes an awful lot to actual get me annoyed with anyone. On the other hand, I hate the idea of anyone being annoyed with me, especially when it's for something I've done unintentionally.

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I'm actually incapable of staying annoyed at someone for more than a few hours, however angry I seem at the time. That said, it takes an awful lot to actual get me annoyed with anyone. On the other hand, I hate the idea of anyone being annoyed with me, especially when it's for something I've done unintentionally.

 

Must you always speak my mind so easily? :heh:

 

Anyway, that is a great apology, Captain. I'm sure she'll forgive you.

(As long as you got the right house, of course)

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(ask Rez - he'll back me up!)

 

It's true folks. It really is.

 

Thats a great apology though. Damn, I'll be surprised if you don't get laid, let alone just forgiven. :p

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That was very nice of you, Captain. I hope she forgives you. :)

 

Like other here, it seems, I find it very hard to be annoyed with people. I just don't like having bad feelings with someone. If they've wronged me, I'd rather just forget about it and move on. I really want to believe that people have no intentions of screwing me over, though I know that's optimistic. I'm of course wary that I'm not being totally screwed, but otherwise I won't waste my time with negative feelings.

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People find it hard to be annoyed with people? That's the easy part. It's forgiving them that's hard. I'm more of a forget kind of guy than a forgive kind of guy. But then again usually people aren't actually sorry. I can't think of a time when somebody has been truly sorry to me.

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I'm actually incapable of staying annoyed at someone for more than a few hours, however angry I seem at the time. That said, it takes an awful lot to actual get me annoyed with anyone. On the other hand, I hate the idea of anyone being annoyed with me, especially when it's for something I've done unintentionally.

 

That was very nice of you, Captain. I hope she forgives you. :)

 

Like other here, it seems, I find it very hard to be annoyed with people. I just don't like having bad feelings with someone. If they've wronged me, I'd rather just forget about it and move on. I really want to believe that people have no intentions of screwing me over, though I know that's optimistic. I'm of course wary that I'm not being totally screwed, but otherwise I won't waste my time with negative feelings.

I'm the same as these 2 people here. Being annoyed at people is too much work. The only people I can get annoyed at are the ones that annoy me constantly.

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People find it hard to be annoyed with people? That's the easy part. It's forgiving them that's hard. I'm more of a forget kind of guy than a forgive kind of guy. But then again usually people aren't actually sorry. I can't think of a time when somebody has been truly sorry to me.

Tell it brother.

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Basically, I tend to not get annoyed at petty things, like a forgotten birthday or a lost pen (I hate it when people don't take care of the stuff I lend them, but it's so petty, holding a grudge because someone else lost my pen).

 

In other, more serious, times, it can be difficult to forgive someone, but the longer you go without forgiving that person, the more the situation worsens. Soon enough, you won't even remember why you distrust this person so much, only that you do, and he who was once your friend is now an enemy you avoid.

 

As long as I don't forget this, forgiving someone becomes easier. You may feel it is not a sincere action at first, but once you convince yourself that it is something you need to do, you have taken the first step towards true forgiveness. And once your heart truly forgives this person, you will realize that maintaining your friendship was the best thing you could've done.

 

I am not saying you should forget the wrongs committed against you, or instantly forgive every person that says "I'm sorry". Was it a matter of incompetence? Tactlessness? Malice? Lower your expectations for the incompetent from then on and explain your issues to the tactless, as doing so can only strengthen your friendship (or even motivate them to improve themselves). Do away with the malicious, as those aren't worthy of your friendship, or your forgiveness.

 

Just my two cents, anyway.

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Damn, I'll be surprised if you don't get laid, let alone just forgiven. :p

 

Well she has a boyfriend who she's been with forever and I don't see her like that anyway - I see her as the big sister I could have always done with.

 

Well, I'm not totally convinced it's done the job.

 

She sent me a message at 8:30 this morning, thus waking me,telling me not to worry about it, which immediately makes me worry, and thanked for the card saying I didn't need to do that.

 

I replied saying I didn't need to but I wanted to, in order to show how sorry I was and how much I value her friendship. To which she replied to say it was nice but that she still couldn't believe I forgot... which makes two of us.

 

Oh well... not much more I can do about it now.

Edited by Captain Falcon

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Well she has a boyfriend who she's been with forever and I don't see her like that anyway - I see her as the big sister I could have always done with.

 

Well, I'm totally convinced it's done the job.

 

She sent me a message at 8:30 this morning, thus waking me,telling me not to worry about it, which immediately makes me worry, and thanked for the card saying I didnt need to do that.

 

I replied saying I didnt need to but I wanted to, in order to show how sorry I was and how much I value her friendship. To which she replied to say it was nice but that she still couldn't believe I forgot... which makes two of us.

 

Oh well... not much more I can do about it now.

 

Hopefully it'll blow over in a couple of days, she just needs a chance to cool off I imagine.

 

I'm pretty much in the same mindset as Moogle. I prefer to forget things and not speak of them than go through the rounds of forgiving and apologies etc. I don't see the point because it's usually just words - unlike your case Mr. Falcon.

 

I don't think I've done anything in a while I've needed to apologise about, I'm usually pretty careful about my friends and especially my family that it's not really been an issue.

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Sounds like she's being a massive bitch to me dude. You need to give her an ultimatum, accept a very sweet apology and get the fuck over it or the G-man is out the door.

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Sounds like she's being a massive bitch to me dude. You need to give her an ultimatum, accept a very sweet apology and get the fuck over it or the G-man is out the door.

 

She's a bitch because a friend forgot her birthday?

 

Christ..

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I wish my birthday had been forgotten this year :hmm:

 

That's a really nice apology though.. she's gotta appreciate the effort :smile:

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She's a bitch because a friend forgot her birthday?

 

Christ..

 

No, she's a bitch for reacting like a bitch.

 

Christ..

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Sounds like she's being a massive bitch to me dude. You need to give her an ultimatum, accept a very sweet apology and get the fuck over it or the G-man is out the door.

 

That's well harsh dude and you know I'm not an ultimatum kind of guy.

 

I guess her reaction is a reflection on the faith she had in me as a person. And I let her down...

 

I mean she didn't remember my birthday with out prompting but she did wish me a happy one unlike someone who still didnt after I said... but she admits to being bad at remembering whereas I made a big point how I knew when all my close friends birthdays are.

 

I've had to apologise loads the last few days. Must be doing something wrong....

 

I normally find just being myself ends up with me constantly apologising whether I'm in the wrong or right.

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I've had to apologise loads the last few days. Must be doing something wrong....

 

..honest to goodness, sometimes you just can't win :mad:

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AMEN brother!

..honest to goodness, sometimes you just can't win :mad:

 

That's well harsh dude and you know I'm not an ultimatum kind of guy.

 

I guess her reaction is a reflection on the faith she had in me as a person. And I let her down...

 

I mean she didn't remember my birthday with out prompting but she did wish me a happy one unlike someone who still didnt after I said... but she admits to being bad at remembering whereas I made a big point how I knew when all my close friends birthdays are.

 

 

 

I normally find just being myself ends up with me constantly apologising whether I'm in the wrong or right.

Exactly, I'm being the way I've always been, but now it seems to get me in trouble, out of nowhere.

Edited by Diageo
Automerged Doublepost

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I certainly wouldn't worry about it any more Falcon.

 

People make mistakes/forget things (your freind did last year)...

 

You've already gone out of your way to make up for it and if she's still in a mood about it, well then that's her problem really... she needs to grow up a bit/get some perspective.

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Bit unreasonable her getting bent out of shape after she forgot yours. After having yours forgotten, you should have really been owed a "you may forget my bday and i'm not allowed to get pissed off" pass, for this year at least.

 

Cool apology though - what a lovely friend you are. :hehe:

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I wish my birthday had been forgotten this year :hmm:

 

That's a really nice apology though.. she's gotta appreciate the effort :smile:

 

At least you got some recognition greg! :P

 

 

Yeah CP, nicely done! Made the effort but a follow-up box of chocolates would have been nice too ;)

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