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Haden

Xpert 11: Season 14, Fresh Blood and Old Grudges

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Awesome! I got a much-needed second win.

 

Edit: Also, is it me or are there a unusually large amount of penalties this season?

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1-0 against Viagra today, not the best score-line but still, a win is a win.

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Mcoy has been sick the last few days so Cubic ended up playing a managerless side (never set tactics/formations/subs). Two players got injured which fucked things up even more, a striker came on for a defender and things smoothly went downhill from there.

 

Mcoy hates this game, when it wants to fuck you around it will end up a player or two getting injured every game (3 games in a row now) Mcoy can pretty much be counted as being relegated now as his main goalkeeper is out until the end of the month.

Edited by Brian Mcoy

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Godamnit. Another match, my whole team played brilliantly and yet I only have a draw to show for it. Lady luck does not appear to be on my side.

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Did not want a 2-2 draw but am still the only team in the top flight without a loss which is quite impressive.

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DFB3Liga.jpg

 

Men and women, bound together by love for the Beautiful Game.

 

Martinists Men 2 - 0 Complete Domstercool

 

The ham sandwich that manages the ‘Men was found congratulating himself and his loyal coach, a half eaten baked potato, for helping the team to a superb 2-0 drubbing over Complete Domstercool. A confident performance by the MM’s experienced defensive line-up locked down the opposition strikers, leaving midfielder Arcanu to slot home two impressive goals with strong support from the forwards.

 

Bayern Fish 3 - 1 Juicy Fruits

It was the Juicy Fruits who were left wondering what the meaning of life was after Bayern Fish smashed their fellow rookies with an assured performance. Despite possession being equally split it was the Fish who made the most of their chances, unpronounceable forwards Hammarskjöld and Niskanen splitting the scoring honours. The Juicy Fruits have since retired to their trianing camp, licking their delicious wounds made with real fruit.

 

Lededhead Dominatrix 2 - 2 AFC ReZs Rabies

 

The Rabies scrapped a lucky draw against he otherwise dominant Dominatrixi(?) thanks to a rabid, recently spayed offence that overcame a far better overall squad to make the best of their chances. Despite a solid and leather bound 4-4-2 system it was the Doms who had to come from behind, surprising Manger Rez in his rear with a close range shot in the box to equalise just before full time despite suffering the loss of one of their key strikers to injury.

 

DISCOUNTED VIAGRA 0 - 1 Recall United

 

It was a sad, painful, pathetic affair that occurred between Discounted Viagra and Recall United today. Like a pair of geriatrics who, thanks to the imperfect rejuvenating powers of modern medicine had decided to rediscover each others genitals, neither seemed willing or able to take it all the way. Neither defenders or attackers seemed able to locate either goal, fumbling desperately as if blinded by the glare of their own impotent incompetence. The first 45 minutes passed almost completely without incident, the only goal of the match finally coming 83 minutes in, 9 after a penalty miss. Frankly, both teams should be ashamed of themselves.

 

Most Important Result: Bayern Fish 3 - 1 Juicy Fruits put the Fish level with Recall United at the top with a game in hand.

Turned on Style: Martinists Men, soldiering on in spite of management coated in too much mayonnaise.

 

Player of the Day: Thorbjörn Niskanen of Bayern Fish, catapulting the team to the top with an electric performance including two goals.

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Lededhead Dominatrix 2 - 2 AFC ReZs Rabies

 

The Rabies scrapped a lucky draw against he otherwise dominant Dominatrixi(?) thanks to a rabid, recently spayed offence that overcame a far better overall squad to make the best of their chances. Despite a solid and leather bound 4-4-2 system it was the Doms who had to come from behind, surprising Manger Rez in his rear with a close range shot in the box to equalise just before full time despite suffering the loss of one of their key strikers to injury.

 

Outragous claims. Was 3 chances to my 7 I tell you. :p

 

Jeepers what is wrong with my keepers this season. My other keeper, my previous reserve is 5 skill and he played a 2! What a loser.

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Another away match, another draw. And I got another one on Friday. Not a good thing to get away draws if it's too many, it will make the home matches a lot more important to win if I want to stay at the top.

 

Haven't lost a match in six matches now, three wins and three draws.

Edited by Tales

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Stunned by that result. My keeper played the best game of his career (13!) only to be outdone by fellow relegation potentials Eddage. Tales, sitting 2nd in the league, gets manager of the round for drawing with me... I played my 18 4 forward and he didn't show much potential.

 

Most of my players are between 7 and 11 in dev. values, and I think I am on target to get the best change report everrr!

 

I've also bought a 21 6 forward, which might appear silly... well it is... but long-term is all I'm thinking! He'll be at the least at 25 10.

 

Week off for me now! I suppose I could do a quadruple report...

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Three wins in a row is pretty promising. I should hopefully be able to keep myself out of the relegation zone from now on.

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Eurgh no idea what to do!

 

Hopefully I can turn things around soon, 1 point out of 5 games, embarrassing :p

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Argh, so annoyed! I thought yesterday was Monday as I wasn't working on Monday and forgot to set my tactics!

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premier-league-badge.gif

 

The pretty football.

The bad tackling.

The attack.

The nice manager.

The cruel dirty tricks.

Scenario by Top League NE League.

 

 

Mcoys Sons 0-1 Cubic County

 

County scored a huge victory with in an intriguing match against the Sons. The Sons played 4-5-1 and against County's 4-3-3 dominated chances made 7-2 as well as possession 60-40. However Harris who has struggled to hit his top form that was last seen in season 10, looked isolated and out of form. Disaster struck the Sons in the 2nd half as their number one goalie Porta was involved in a collision with the post and had to be stretched off. Tetova came on but looked nervy from the outset despite keeping a clean sheet against Bru earlier on in the season. 12 minutes before time a County corner came in was hit away but landed at the feet of Maupas who turned his marker and curled it into the top right corner to the delight of traveling fans. Valle who turned in the corner produced an outstanding display in defense throughout the game and has to be credited with Countys victory as much as Maupas. For Sons this was a lost opportunity, County were good but Sons tactics were ineffective although bad luck had a part to play with the injury. For County this away win combined with an away win against the Elites is making County fans a more than a little bit optimistic.

 

Dysonism F.C 2-2 Madpool

 

Madpool solidified their top half credentials with an impressive draw against the high flying Dysonism F.C. Playing 4-5-1 against Dysonism's 3-4-3 Madpool had to win the midfield battle and it looked like they were doing this at first. Naranjo headed in a corner in the 1st half to put Madpool unexpectedly up. Spirito threaded a pass through to Boland who easily found the net for his 3rd goal of the season minutes after Madpool struck. Madpool had been making the majority of chances but it was Dysonism who put the pressure on early in the 2nd half. After a bad tackle in the box Stenholm ricocheted a penalty in off the post to put Dysonism in the lead. In the 67th minute star Dysonism midfielder Sandford pulled up with what looked like a hamstring injury, it was later confirmed that he will miss out on 2 weeks of football. Taking advantage of such a key loss Madpool pressed on and were rewarded with a penalty of their own after some last gasp Dysonism defending. Quintal Madpools talisman this season made no mistake as he placed the ball into the top right hand corner. It was Madpool who looked the more likely after this but Dysonism held out for the draw. This was a great result for Madpool who are looking more and more like top 3 contenders every match. Dysonism are still unbeaten but the result along with the injury to Sandford will not please their manager.

Roostophe Rovers 2-1 Essex Elites

 

Two recent champions that have been in poor form recently met today. Both sides played 3-5-2 hinting at an open creative game but the 1st half yielded only 1 chance. It was a set piece free kick played in by Monington that found Mortimer who hit in on the half volley for the opening goal. The Elites defense looked lost at times and Rovers exploited this when Mortimer picked out the young striker Agbonlahor who struck in a long range shot that flew in past the Elites goalie. Ling scored via a breakaway in the 60th minute to put the Elites back into the match. However the Rovers defense looked very disciplined with Bruijn in goal enjoying a particularly good game. For Rovers this was a crucial win that is needed to drive themselves out of the danger zone. The Elites champions last season look flat and out of ideas and badly needing 3 points.

 

Haden United 2-1 Bayern Bru

 

In what is regarded as a classic grudge match United just edged a win against Bru in a even game. Mozzini who is rising to every game this season whipped in a great corner that found the head of youth striker Sbaccanti who headed United ahead on the 5 minute mark. The game took a turn for the worse after a couple of yellow cards and injuries led up to a penalty for Bru. Crowley made no mistake as he punted it down the middle. However while both teams looked even it was United that was more creative with 5 chances against 2 Bru efforts. In the 2nd half one of these United efforts made a goal, Durov floated in a great free kick that Sbaccanti got a toe poke to, sending the home crowd into a rapture. United closed the game out after this and after such a bad defeat to Dysonism this win was badly needed. For Bru it is a missed opportunity to knock out a title rival and top the table.

 

 

Analysis

 

Most Important Result: Dysonism F.C 2-2 Madpool, a great away draw for Madpool who are improving each season.

Turned on the Style Award: Madpool, 10 chances and 2 goals away to Dysonism their midfield is full of style.

Player of the Day: Favio Sbaccanti, Haden United, the young striker scored a really important 2 goals to earn his side the win.

Edited by Haden

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Yeah so I've sucked at reports this season. Doing only TWO!! Sorry haden. I'll do some sort of hench end-of-season report if I don't do more regular ones.

 

Sidebar; FUCK YOU TRANSFERS! I bought a 21 6 forward, planning to couple him with a 28 9, but I was out-bidded TWO MINUTES before teh transfew window closed. Wanker. In future I'm going to do all my shopping at 22:50.

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I love it when someone's tactic of using "pressure" goes horribly wrong.

 

In my latest Xpert match, I was losing 1-0 up until the 74th minute. In the next 18 minutes I scored four goals.

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DFB3Liga.jpg

 

Things are getting tough, it's time to put on your best moves.

 

Recall United 2 - 1 Complete Domstercool

 

Recall United secured their domination of the league with their fifth win on the trot. The Domstercools meanwhile continued to struggle, suffering two bad injuries during play. However, they did manage a goal from their only effort on goal from Uno Altstarnd. Recall meanwhile despite a dominant victory will still have to ponder it’s offensive technique, scoring just two from a full ten chances.

AFC ReZs Rabies 2 - 1 DISCOUNTED VIAGRA

 

It was surprisingly gentlemanly game between the Rabies and Viagra. Only one injury marred an otherwise genteel if one-sided affair as the Viagra eased to a 2-1 victory. The DVs had the best of possesion and chances, starting with an early header from the perennially unpronounceable Johan Fjällström, with a superb counter-attacking score early in the second from Konrad Gladh. Koga for the Rabies took a solid consolation goal to finish a respectable 2-1. “He’s been very good recently.†The proud, doting, overweight mother of Rabies manager Rez said after the game. “He’s even stopped fiddling with his balls in public. Our boy’s growing up!â€

 

Juicy Fruits 4 - 0 Rising Pheonix

 

The Pheonixs looked well a truly extinguished following yet another disastrous performance against the Juicy Fruits. The Fruits dominated play from end to end, starting with a superb long shot from by Ruud Jordan in the first half. The Pheonixs managed to hold until early in the second half before an own goal by Theobald Keown signalled their rapid capitulation. Two more goals from the Fruits shattered their morale completely, an injury to Keown serving only as salt for their wounds.

 

Bayern Fish 1 - 2 Lededhead Dominatrix

 

The Fishes epic rookie winning streak was finally torpedoed beneath the waterline as the Dominatrixi(?) took a lucky victory late in the game. Throughout the match the Doms marginally seemed the weaker side struggling against the BFs vastly superior offensive capabilities. The Lededheads had obvious been saying their prayers to whatever twisted leather-coated god they worship however and scrapped a late winning header in the 80th minute, Chenery scoring off a superb cross from Bromander.

 

Most Important Result: Bayern Fish 1 - 2 Lededhead Dominatrix halting a runaway success story in it’s tracks.

 

Turned on Style: Juicy Fruits, completely bossing the struggling Rising Pheonix.

 

Player of the Day: Uno Altstrand for Complete Domstercool, a rare shining light in an otherwise broken and disorganised side.

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Cube; just to let you know, this friendly is going to be very... silly :P I'm giving my youth the experience. Though I do have Packham in goal, I do not expect anything from this match :P

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Cube; just to let you know, this friendly is going to be very... silly :P I'm giving my youth the experience. Though I do have Packham in goal, I do not expect anything from this match :P

 

Said match wasn't as silly as I had hoped. I wanted an 8-6 or something crazy.

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Ah no it was never going to be a high-scoring one on my end. One of my strikers I played got a whopping 3 dev. value from that friendly!

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