Xpert 11: Season 14, Fresh Blood and Old Grudges

[Noodleman]

Wow I er...... wow

[Haden]

 

When do you think it will all become clear? Rovers have been taken over by the fear.

 

 

Madpool 1-5 Haden United

United scored a great away victory against in form Madpool beating them 5-1. Playing 4-5-1 Madpool tried to emulate their recent success with Quintal taking charge of their midfield. However United played a balanced 4-4-2 and looked proficient in all areas of the pitch. Mozzini scored first after 2 minutes with a great looping header, after this Durov who was in sparkling form set up both Weesle and Marconossi for a goal a piece before the half time whistle. Quintal set up Naranjo for a volleyed goal in the 2nd half but there was to be no fightback. Moscardi set up Durov for a powerful low shot then Moscardi lifted the ball in the box for Eveleens to nod in. United were on fire converting 5 chances out of 8 they made few mistakes. In all areas United looked stronger and were deserved winners, Madpools impressive midfield simply didn't show up today. Madpool after such a strong start will be deeply disappointed by this thrashing and will surely use their game off to recover from it.

 

Dysonism F.C 4-2 Roostophe Rovers

It is always a pleasure to report on Dysonism vs Rovers games. This game included Dyson has won 7 there has been 7 draws and Rovers has won 7, when you also consider most of these games have been high scoring attacking affairs, it is no wonder this rivalry is one if not the most anticipated game of the season. Dysonism played 3-5-2 against Rovers attacking 3-4-3, Rovers seemed to have the edge as they forced Twigg into a needless own goal to make it 1-0. Rovers kept things tight but Dysonism made it 1-1 just before half time as Sandford blasted in a superb long shot. Twigg made up for his mistake after the restart as he crossed it in for Arber to head in past a hapless Rovers defense. At this point the 3-5-2 formation really paid off, Dysonism made chance after chance as Rovers failed to contain them. Twigg skipped past two players and fired a goal into the top right hand corner, he ran over to the home fans screaming and pointing to the Dysonism logo, after a hard two games this goal meant a lot. Stenholm scored 10 minutes later as Dysonism threatened to make it a rout. However Sheldon scored his 49th goal with a long range effort to make it 4-2 and give Rovers some dignity in defeat. Dysonism shoot to the top of the league and look in the reports mind the side that has title contenders written all over them. Rovers on the other hand has 1 point in 3 matches and are really struggling for form, an away game to Bru gives them a chance to rise up against adversity.

DuDs Baggies 1-1 Essex Elites

 

Two sides that both desperately wanted a win had to settle with a draw that leaves them both worried. The Baggies came out with a 4-4-2 formation against the Elites 4-5-1. It was a very close game that the Elites fans thought they may have won as Brammer delivered a trademark freekick goal after 5 minutes. The game then became an ill tempered affair as 5 yellow cards were brandished as well as a Baggies player being badly injured. The pace of the game never really got going and both teams failed to impress their fans. However Baggies also scored just before the end via a direct free kick that Simpson curled in. This wasn't the best game but gained both of these sides their first point that may be valuable later on in the season.

 

Cubic County 0-1 Bayern Bru

 

Bru got a what could be crucial win against County in a extremely tight game. County played 4-3-3 with a very defensive attitude hoping to hit Bru on the break, Bru played 4-4-2 but couldn't muster many chances. It was Bru who were the better side on the day and the youth Helder rather than one of the veteran stars of Bru's midfield set up Kit to tap in a great cross from a corner. Dominating 64% of the possession Bru made with their strong midfield and sterling defense sure County had no way back into this game and both sides ended the game with 2 chances a piece. Bru move up to 2nd right on the heels of Dysonism, Bru now have a epic game against Rovers to cement their place as title contenders. While County sink into the relegation zone and must now prepare for a tough away game against the Elites.

 

Analysis

 

Most Important Result: Madpool 1-5 Haden United: Madpool had a chance to prove themselves as title contenders but didn't take it.

 

Turned on the Style Award: Dysonism F.C, Dysonism-Rovers matches always bring out the style and this one did to, Dysonism were incredible.

Player of the Day: Roman Durov, Haden United: Durov had the best game of his career making two goals, scoring one and nullifying Quintal.

Edited July 3, 2010 by Haden

[Twozzok]

Shit me, I did poorly against Recall. I forgot my tactics again, and the default goalie is a shit 3-skill with poor form.

[Tales]

Could we get that list of manager and team names in the first post again? Thanks.

 

Looking forward to my match tomorrow. I got two victories at home and two draws at away against four middle and upper league players so tomorrow's match, probably the weakest in terms of econ value, should be solid win for me. 8 points in four matches should go a long way to keep me in the middle league.

 

Edit: Ok, this is annoying. I can only bid once? I found a player I liked, made a bid, only to be told someone bid higher, and now I can't make another bid. Why didn't they just tell me right away there was a higher bid so I don't make a lower one. I just went with the number that was already in the box and thought that was ok for now.

[gaggle64]

 

Three rounds in - are you starting to feel the pressure?

 

Complete Domstercool 4 - 2 DISCOUNTED VIAGRA

 

Blood, death, mayhem and cats and dogs living together, it was 9/11 time a thousand between the Domstercools and the Viagras with four bookings, two major injuries and six goals stretched across the full 90 minutes of play. Basically all the worse parts of the Bible. Viagar scored first after the CDs lost a key forward to plague of locusts, only for Viagra to suffer the same loss to a sea of frogs. This left the DCs free to passover the oppositions defence with goals coming thick and fast like mana from heaven, each one immaculate in conception.

 

Martinists Men 1 - 2 Lededhead Dominatrix

 

So little happened between the Men and the Dominatrixi(?) that it was as if Dan Brown himself had written it. With no bookings, no injuries and three of the blandest goals that have ever been produced it instantly became a huge internet sensation with elderly users and tweens alike. Ron Howard has been commissioned by Hollywood executives to direct the dramatisation, starring Tom Hanks and Jim Carrey as two sides of the Ham Sandwich.

 

 

Rising Pheonix 1- 5 AFC ReZs Rabies

 

Confusion reigned at the Rising Stadium as the Pheonixs and Rabies went head to head in near-identical strips. At first it was believed to be a tight 3-all draw between the two sides until extensive video reviews highlighted the minute differences in opposing strips, revealing a crushing 5 goal victory for the Rabies. Meanwhile in the stands fans rioted, turned on one another and ended up commiserating or celebrating for days with opposing supporters. In on case a man was found to be living with someone else’s family for several days before anyone realised his mistake.

 

Juicy Fruits 1 - 4 Recall United

 

The Juicys lost their flavour against Recall Utd, failing to win their third consecutive victory while Recall barrelled to almost the top of the table. An early penalty miss by Ruud Jordan set the tone as the Juicys spent the rest of the match being picked apart like a ripe pomegranate. Recall dominated possession and score 4 excellent goals with a single consolation goal all the promising rookie side had to show for their efforts.

 

Most Important Result: Martinists Men 1 - 2 Lededhead Dominatrix

A dull but solid victory to get on top.

Turned on Style: AFC ReZs Rabies with a crushing victory to score their first points.

 

Player of the Day: Ross Siddall, scoring and setting up two more to help Complete Domstercool to a badly needed victory.

Edited July 5, 2010 by gaggle64

[jayseven]

Tales; with bidding the golden rule is to alyways enter the maximum amount you're willing to bid - you'll always avoid that frustration!

[DuD]

Nearly forgot to set tactics for todays game with MC-Oy... My 1st win. Hells Yeah

[Cube]

The first half of that match was extremely intense, first Elm brought it to 2-0 in 21 minutes, then 13 minutes later I had equalised the game. And during that time my keeper was injured (I seem to recall someone telling me that I shouldn't have bothered with a reserve keeper as they're rarely injured) - so two of my keepers are now injured.

 

The second half was dull until I stole it in the last minute. Essex Elites seemed to have tired themselves out by putting us under pressure in the first half.

[Jimbob]

3rd win for Recall, but it came at a cost though. Had a striker sent off.

[jayseven]

A closer game, this time. Noodle didn't put out his strongest side and I think in the end all that got him the W was the home advantage (and my striker that has one good game in twelve...).

[Rowan]

Another injury But I'll take that draw and run away with it.

[Shorty]

Goddamn, 4-3, tense action.

 

When I say "4-3" obviously I mean "3-4" from where I'm sitting.

 

[Charlie]

I absolutely destroyed Roostophe today.

[Mr_Odwin]

(I seem to recall someone telling me that I shouldn't have bothered with a reserve keeper as they're rarely injured) - so two of my keepers are now injured.

 

 

I just think your money would have been better spent on a younger keeper. Your old 10 played as a 5 and probably got a teeny tiny amount of development. A 19 5 might have played similarly and would have got 30-40% of his development today.

[Twozzok]

holy shit. 6-4.

 

We either both played awesome, or both played horrendously.

[Tales]

That was a bloody match. Two penalty goals(one for each), a red card, a score at his own goal(it was the idiot's first match) and the winning goal at 91 minutes. Won 4-3.

 

Now I am at the top of the league while my fellow members from the lower league are at the bottom^^

 

The good thing about the youth that kicked the ball in the wrong net though, is that I paid 200 000 for him but he's worth 2 million A 17-4 has more than enough time to improve.

Edited July 6, 2010 by Tales

[ReZourceman]

Rising Pheonix 1- 5 AFC ReZs Rabies

 

Confusion reigned at the Rising Stadium as the Pheonixs and Rabies went head to head in near-identical strips. At first it was believed to be a tight 3-all draw between the two sides until extensive video reviews highlighted the minute differences in opposing strips, revealing a crushing 5 goal victory for the Rabies. Meanwhile in the stands fans rioted, turned on one another and ended up commiserating or celebrating for days with opposing supporters. In on case a man was found to be living with someone else’s family for several days before anyone realised his mistake.

 

LOL!

 

holy shit. 6-4.

 

We either both played awesome, or both played horrendously.

Both awesome tbh.

[Haden]

Damn was to predictable today, the game was almost a carbon copy of last seasons fixture.

[Ellmeister]

Eurgh, why is it all going wrong! Lost Brammar, my defense is shocking. Lucky last minute equaliser again thats two games in a row :p curse you all!

[DuD]

Financial event for my Xpert Team:

 

West Brom have developed something of a cult gay following, and their team calendars and posters have been selling like hot cakes. This generates 17 000 econ for the club in extra revenue.

[Charlie]

Dyson, was that you who punctured my balls? If so, it hardly affected my teams form at all!

[ReZourceman]

Dyson, was that you who punctured my balls?

 

I bet you say that to all the boys.

[Dyson]

Dyson, was that you who punctured my balls? If so, it hardly affected my teams form at all!

 

Nope, I've not been on for a few days! Just came on to see my 3-0 away victory which was sweeeeeeeeet. Not a clue who punctured your balls though, no trix for me this season... so far

[Haden]

 

Hey! No recent champions win!

 

 

 

DuDs Baggies 1-0 Mcoys Sons

 

Baggies recorded their first win in the top league with a vital close fought victory against fellow promotees the Sons. The Sons who have been pulling out some impressive victories recently decided to play two youth defenders in todays match, however to offset this they played a 5-3-2 formation. Baggies also played a 5-3-2 formation making this match destined to be a low scoring affair. It took a strike from the in form Baddeley that struck the post and went in to break the deadlock after 14 minutes. The Sons actually created more chances than the Baggies 5 to 3 however the Baggies defense especially their goalie Anderson looked unbeatable in the match. The match ended then with a single goal and an important tactical victory for the Baggies who gain a much needed win. The Sons youth focus remains important (they are the 3rd youngest side in the league) but they may rue missing out on a draw here.

Haden United 0-3 Dysonism F.C

 

United came out wanting to challenge the top side of the league so far Dysonism but left easily beaten. In a carbon copy of their match last season at Uniteds home ground, United lost 3-0 and were tactically outdone. United played 4-4-2 but failed to excel in any area while Dysonism playing 3-4-3 excelled in every area including defense. Sandford was simply masterful, while Mozzini, Durov and Dinsdale failed to make a impact. Sandford set up Boland then Twigg for goals in the first half. Sandford just before the death threaded one through to Stenholm who easily slotted it past the United goalie. Dysonism now in reality see to have only one side that can challenge them after disposing of Rovers and United so easily and that is Bayern Bru. United now have to pick themselves up as they face a huge game against Bru themselves.

 

Bayern Bru 3-0 Roostophe Rovers

 

Bru made a huge statement against the utterly out of sorts Rovers by winning easily 3-0. Rovers looked a shell of themselves as Bru ran rampage in front of delighted home fans. Creating 11 chances to an awful 1 Bru were in complete control of this match also gaining 60% possession. Brusling who yet again was sublime, set up Rundberg to head in the first goal. Heinze then threaded through MacCalman who made no mistake making it 2-0 on 35 minutes. A minute after the restart Bru killed the game off as yet again Brusling set up a goal, sending a through ball through to Kit who scored his 2nd goal of the season. Things went from bad to worse for Rovers as Tartara picked up two yellow cards in 11 minutes for two irritable challenges that drew dismay from away fans. Bru after a slow start are looking more and more like title contenders along with Dysonism. As for Rovers their season is beginning to fall apart badly and something needs to be changed quickly.

 

Essex Elites 2-3 Cubic County

 

In an absorbing match the current champions lost at home to veteran league hopper County. Both teams played 4-4-2 and the Elites seemed to have taken command early with 2 goals, Marples struck in a curler after 2 minutes while Ling hit in a corner for Gledhill to tuck away on the 21 minute mark. All routine so far, but 2 minutes later Dale linked up with Norcott who pinged one in off the edge of the box to score the 10th goal of his career. 11 minutes later Norcott scored the 11th goal of his career as the Elites marking was all over the place and Norcott turned and shot with the ball in the box. County put all the pressure on in the 2nd half but it seemed the Elites would be able to hold out for a draw. However in the dying seconds of the game Dale swung in a corner that Valle rose to and headed in for only the 2nd goal of his 94 match career but what a vital one! The Elites have had bad starts before but this one is looking a little serious as they need a win quickly. As for County their heads are now above the relegation zone and they face a important away fixture against Sons that could give them some real momentum.

 

 

Analysis

 

Most Important Result: Haden United 0-3 Dysonism F.C: one doesn't want to make predictions to early but is this the result that makes the league title a two horse race?

Turned on the Style Award: Bayern Bru: 11 chances 60% possession and 3 goals against former champs Rovers, pretty good!

 

Player of the Day: Lucian Sandford, Dysonism F.C: 3 assists and seemed to be playing on a different field to most of the players.

Edited July 8, 2010 by Haden

[gaggle64]

 

You gotta think about it before you set your tactics.

AFC ReZs Rabies 6 - 4 Juicy Fruits

 

A new strain of flu believed to be related to the H1N1 virus has to been discovered that mysteriously only afflicts football defenders, and only while three are present on the pitch at any one time. As result the offensive formations of both the Rabies and the Fruits were left to score completely at will, with the Rabies eventually finishing 2 goals ahead after breaking a gentlemen's agreement over the precise hour afternoon tea would conclude. The Fruits promptly dropped their monocles and demanded satisfaction. The duel will involve pistols and will take place on Monday noon, during the box social at Miss Haveshams country manor.

 

DISCOUNTED VIAGRA 0 - 0 Martinists Men

 

Nothing happened. Nothing goddamn happened. Everyone turned up, the players lined up, the ref blew his whistle and then 90 minutes of nothing happened. I haven’t seen this much inaction since my third marriage went flat after my vasectomy. I got in for free and I still want my money back. They had fake an alien invasion to make people leave the stadium. There’s a guy somewhere who thinks his grandmother is an alien brood mistress now. Jesus Christ in a G-string couldn’t have turned this into something worth watching. I mean... FUCK.

Recall United 3 - 1 Lededhead Dominatrix

 

Police are investigating after a football match somehow broke out during the Recall/Lededhead 11-side welter weight “Wrastle Royale.” Despite a strong first twenty minute where both sides showed excellent aggression and strong jabbing, particularly towards heads and groins, the referee was soon forced to yellow card several participants after some started kicking a ball around the stadium ring. Things reached a nadir when Rhian Deacon had to be sent off after making a deliberate header late in the match to put the Recalls three goals to one, causing the crowd to irrupt in a disgraceful display of good natured internationalism.

 

Rising Pheonix 0 - 3 Bayern Fish

 

The Fish swamped The Phoenixs on their own turf, extinguishing them completely running home three solid goals with no hint of a reply coming. The Phoenix simply dropped flat out of the sky as their entire field fell into almost complete disarray, with no real movement or team work evident on the field. Fish lined to take shots on goal but took time to make use of chances. Key Fish forward Rydman suffered an injury only for the substitute Bromander to eventually score the opener, a further two from others finally coming in the last three minutes to seal the win. Look, not all of these have to be funny, okay?

 

Most Important Result: Recall United 3 - 1 Lededhead Dominatrix, a solid win putting Recall United firmly at the top of the table.

 

Turned On Style: AFC ReZs Rabies – winning a veritable goal-fest with six of their best.

 

Player of the Day: Ronny Bromander for putting the Bayern Fish on the road to victory despite being a second choice substitute.