Xpert Eleven: Season 10

[Ellmeister]

How do you change a number?

 

EDIT: Figured it out. Never knew that!

 

Anyway, my xpert league finished today. I finished joint 1st with 30 points after pulling the team out of relegation after taking over from the middle of the season.

 

The bad news is that the original manager was so shit, he ruined my goal difference, meaning I narrowly lost out! With the goal difference of 1 goal meaning I didn't get into the play-offs The team who came first only won because I beat the original first place team twice!

Edited September 3, 2009 by Ellmeister

[gaggle64]

Just popped in to say - soz I don't post much here, love the write ups.

That is all.

[Haden]

 

	Audio

 

 

Dysonism F.C 4-0 Essex Elites

 

Dysonism faced the Elites in an interesting encounter and came away from it looking more and more like championship contenders. Dysonism started with a solid 4-4-2 while the Elites looked to go on the offensive with a 4-3-3 formation. Things started off badly for Dysonism as they had a defender injured and because of their less than ideal amount of defenders he was subbed for a forward, (Bakboord). The first half was uneventful with neither team looking much of a threat, however in the 63rd minute two of Dyson's veterans Stenholm and Brobeck combined in a breakaway to give Dysonism the lead. Dysonism's midfield shone with 3 more goals coming from either them directly or via their assistance. Spheeris scored the 4th goal showing after 157 games he can still score a mean free kick. Dysonism were superb the Elites are now on a really bad run and need to win a game soon to keep out of trouble.

 

Secret United 2-1 Haden United

 

Crunch game for both teams and a meeting of old rivals. Secret United were without star player Brusling and Haden United missed out on Agostini both out on suspension. Haden United displayed his full range of striking options with a 4-3-3 formation a tactic that seemed to have paid off as Weesle crossed in a beautiful corner for young prospect Marconossi to head in. Without their star Secret United have been accused of being a team without bite but in the 79th minute MacCalman struck a viscious free kick into the back of the net. He inspired his team yet again with a wonderful cross for Rafaelinho to head in. Secret United fans could hold their heads up high they did not need Brusling to pull out a much needed win. A cagey but engaging match that keeps the table tight.

 

Roostophe Rovers 0-0 Emo Blades

 

Emo Blades still have not scored a goal however they will have been pleased to take a point away from home against the Rovers. The Blades put out a 5-4-1 formation which effectively strangled the game. There were only two chances both for the Rovers and the Blades keeper Packham played the best match in his career to ensure neither one of those chances would be converted. This could be a result the Rovers look back on and wish they would have got more out of it depending on how tough the title race turns out to be. As for the Blades at some point they will need goals but for now this is a result they will take.

 

Rez Rabies 0-0 The Sixty Fourthers

 

Another side with relegation worries against another side vying for the title and another 0-0 result. Both teams played 4-4-2 and a few chances appeared but barely more than the Blades match. Soder commanded the Rabies defense and made it particularly difficult for the 64's attackers to get any headway. One bad note for the Rabies was that they lost defender Winblad for most of the month after a mis-timed tackle. They do have cover for him though and the result is a strong one for them and leaves the Essex Elites looking behind their backs.

 

Analysis

 

Most Important Result: Secret United 2-1 Haden United, puts Secret United back into the mid table melee without the help of Brusling and ends Haden United's unbeaten run.

 

Turned on the Style Award: Dysonism F.C. great attacking display maybe one of a future champion?

 

Player of the Day: Secret United, Davy MacCalman, inspired his team and shows there is life after Brusling.

 

 

Interview with Ellmeister!

 

A good start but things are toughening up a bit now next match home against Cube are you going to get back to winning ways?

 

Last season I managed to win both of my clashes against Cube, however this season may not be a repeat since my players are lacking the confidence after a few disappointing results. They try hard, and the effort definitely shows, but the results fail to reflect the passion put in by the boys. Cube I think is realising how hard the upper league is and is also hanging around the bottom half of the league currently so these matches may really make the difference between relegation and survival!

 

 

What are your aims for this season?

 

My aims are to simply survive. Another season in the lower league may benefit the development of my players, but I feel being able to last in the upper league against well-respected older teams with a comparatively new club will show how much a manager can do as well as the players.

 

You beat Roostophe Rovers any more scalps coming up do you think?

 

A double against Roostophe would do nicely! The "luck" claim was just a way of easing the supporters since the manager knows it was really determination, intelligence and skill that won that game. Hopefully a second win against Emo Blades and perhaps a win agaisnt ReZ's Rabies would be worth the most in value to me since these will be crucial points in surviving.

[Roostophe]

Ell, in our return fixture, I'm going to do to you what Basil Fawlty did to that Mini. :awesome:

[Haden]

	Audio

 

MadDog United 3-3 Edd Kirby Athletic

 

United after their great win against Noodle F.C. looked to push on against bottom of the table Athletic. United set to dominate possession with a 3-5-2 formation their star midfielder Carey seemed to prove this tactic was a good one as he shot in a great goal after 24 minutes. However United failed to convert many of the chances they made and Athletic began to cause them to look unsteady, 2 minutes after half time they hit back with a breakaway scored by 18 year old McKenna in his first game for the club. Carey set up two goals after this to give United a 3-1 lead. Athletic desperate for points fought for their lives and United's defense began to fall apart. Athletic scored in the 61st and 72nd minute and kept pushing forward against a now retreating United. In the end the game ended in a draw with both teams who desperately needed a win failing to get one, the return fixture should be fascinating.

 

Silverdale FC 4-0 Soap Box Utd

 

Silverdale FC faced abandoned Soap Box Utd and predictably scored an impressive victory. 24 year old star Sidwell had a superme game setting up and then scoring a goal within 18 minutes to put Silverdale in a comfortable 2-0 lead. The home side then relaxed with the result assured and did not create to many more chances. Sadly midfielder Caskey had a bad first game of the season for Silverdale but the performance of Sidwell more than made up for it. Two more goals were scored one by Sidwell and Silverdale cruised into the promotion zone.

 

Made of Win 5-2 Party at Richters

 

Made of Win finally lived up to their name as they scored their first win this Tuesday. It was against Richters a side that has crashed to 3 straight defeats after a superb first game and are suspected as being an abandoned team and prime relegation candidates. Never the less it was Richters who struck first and second! Richters scored twice before half time leaving Made of Win in shock however Ellefson headed in a crucial goal just before half time. After the break it was quickly 2-2 then a couple of injuries seemed to expose the weakness of Richters lack of management as a striker with a defender. After this the goals crashed in with Winston giving a particularly good display for the team. A solid win that will hopefully kick start Made of Win's campaign.

 

Tin Can Club 3-2 Happenstance FC

 

Happenstance FC had the chance to push to the top spot in the league, however Tin Can Club instead blew the league wide open in a thrilling game. Star Happenstance legend Burbage seemed unsettled at the start of the game and gained a yellow card after 2 minutes and then seemed to awkwardly trip and injured himself after 14. However Happenstance were not discouraged and used their 4-3-3 formation effectively with transfer star Ronaldo scoring his 2nd goal of the campaign and then Gregor putting Happenstance 2-0 up. Almost immediately after half time Tin Can Club struck back then Gottskalk made it 2-2 at 74 mins. Both teams knowing the significance of this result went at each other to and fro. However it was Oskarsson the 26 year old defender for Tin Can Club who scored the crucial winner with his first ever goal for the club a short range short with 3 minutes left to go! A superb win for Tin Can Club.

 

 

Analysis

 

Most Important Result: Tin Can Club 3-2 Happenstance FC, a vital match that divides the league into two halves and gives us 4 strong favorites for the title.

 

Turned on the Style Award: Made of Win, a great 2nd half display with 4 goals and numerous chances.

 

Player of the Day: Edd Kirby Athletic's, Daniel McKenna, the 18 year old scored two goals for his club and inspired them to never give up and gain a point, in his first ever game

[DuD]

Looking for a Jaffas win tomorrow (only if i manage to win my game of course ).

[Twozzok]

Unfortunately, my team was mullered by Mcoys, and my two fave players are out of action. I've decided to test out tactics and give my lesser used players some experience, so don't get your hopes up :p

[Cube]

NOOO! All because of a penalty in the 1st minute. Someone definitely bribed the ref.

[Happenstance]

Nice to see Happenstance FC win again. Need to get this team more consistant though if I want to get promoted.

[jayseven]

Well... Yeah. I have let in the least goals, but haven't scored any. Lost three times, all were 1-0 which is always annoying. My new striker turns out to be shite, too. FAaaaaaaaaag. May try and sell him and get someone else :P

[Twozzok]

Blergh, draw, I bet i could have won if he had actually set his offence to through plays like he did the last few games

[gaggle64]

Phew, a narrow win (at home too) but I'll take it. There may only be Me, Dyson and possibly Haden in the hunt but those other teams aren't likely to just roll over. It's neck & neck between me and Dyson as I see it right now, but we'll see how things stand after the halfway point.

[Noodleman]

unlucky draw, but I would have been delighted with 10 points from 5 games at the start of the season

[DuD]

Kind of happy with a 0-0 draw, considering my squad was severely stetched due to shite form.

[Ellmeister]

Just trying to keep away from relegation, this win will help, cheers Cube!

 

Rooster, I'm guessing that means make sweet sweet love to it?

[Mr_Odwin]

Knowing that you're playing a dead team means playing a youth squad is very easy to do. Today a load of youth got some valuable xp and we won too!

[jayseven]

Phew, a narrow win (at home too) but I'll take it. There may only be Me, Dyson and possibly Haden in the hunt but those other teams aren't likely to just roll over. It's neck & neck between me and Dyson as I see it right now, but we'll see how things stand after the halfway point.

 

Was it the first time you beat me, too? I'm pretty sure I have quite a good record against you.

[Roostophe]

Was it the first time you beat me, too? I'm pretty sure I have quite a good record against you.

 

Well, VIP-exclusive-statistics state thus:

 

The Sixty-Fourthers wins: 1

Emo Blades wins: 2

Draws: 4

 

So that is gaggle's first time beating you.

[Haden]

Wow 1-1 draw with those stats really?

 

Shame nevermind as long as I finish mid table and get some good change reports I will be happy.

 

To be fair Rez did guess all my tactics guess that counts for something.

[Brian Mcoy]

Mcoy observed today and had the time for his players to get a small break.

[Dyson]

Aw, a draw. Still, me and 64ers have an awesome fight on for first place at the moment

[Haden]

 

	Audio

Haden United 1-1 AFC Rez Rabies

 

Haden United hosted rivals Rabies hoping to push their season forward after recent setbacks while Rabies tried to gain points to move out of the relegation zone. United played an aggressive 3-4-3 formation hoping to take the game to the Rabies and it paid off as a penalty was given to United and converted by young star Marconossi. However after this chances seemed to drift away as Rabies began to hold onto more possesion and limit chances for both teams. It seemed that United would gain a 1-0 win but in the 84th minute Rabies star Wiberg lived up to his reputation for quickness and broke away from United's defense to gain Rabies a crucial away draw. Rabies needs wins but will take away draws and United seem to be lacking team cohesion to finish teams off.

 

Dysonism F.C. 1-1 Secret United

United had their star player Brusling back for this match and they seemed to want to draw upon him as they played a midfield heavy 4-5-1 formation. Dysonism who had been so impressive in matches were lacking somewhat in the first half. Only one chance was created as the game became a battle of the midfields. In the 2nd half it seemed United may have won it as future star midfielder MacCalman set up a headed goal for veteran star Brusling. As United were preparing to win a superb away victory young striker Boland sprinted away from United's deference 5 minutes before the end of time to score his 2nd goal of the season. An impressive spectacle the return match will be one to watch out for if both teams open up more.

 

Essex Elites 2-1 Cube FC

 

This match was always going to be a critical one for both teams, the first match between two promoted sides. Withing 1 minute the Elites broke the hearts of Cube FC as a penalty was given and converted. Cube FC then had two players given yellow cards as desperation started to creep into the team. Cube FC kept pushing forward again and again but Marples sealed the fate of Cube FC in the 68th minute as he broke away to make it 2-0. Veteran Ashby gave Cube FC a consolation goal in the 93rd minute but it was to little to late. The win pushes the Elites to 3rd in the league and leaves Cube rock bottom in the league.

 

The Sixty-Fourthers 1-0 Emo Blades

 

The top team in the league took on another team who also lie at the bottom of the table. While Emo Blades have conceded only 3 goals they have not scored 1 goal in 5 games. Again the manager played a defensive 5-4-1 formation. The Blades defense was indeed a rock for the first half keeping the 64s who are known for their balanced style of play at bay. However when Goblecoqe headed in his first goal of the season from a inswining cross the Blades had nothing to hit back with. New signing Zeca had a good match but was simply to isolated to make the most of his chances. The Blades are at a crisis point and need to start fielding attacking displays to match their defensive quality. The win puts the 64's up to the top of the league and as we are a 1/3 of the way through the season is something they will be very happy with.

 

Analysis

 

Most Important Result: Essex Elites 2-1 Cube FC, the Elites badly needed a victory and they got one.

Turned on the Style Award: Secret United, great midfield play nearly got them an unexpected away win.

 

Player of the Day: Rez Rabies, Michael Wiberg, scored a amazing goal at the death to gain his team a much needed point.

[Roostophe]

Fuck me, my third Xpert Daily press release!

 

Fans turn on manager...

The manager of A.F.C. Walmley appeared in court yesterday after attacking a Walmley fan who broke into his office and tried to set fire to his office, while he was in it.

 

Of course, it was clearly in self-defense, but as everybody is still peeved about last season's relegation (after two promotions in three seasons), the entire Walmley supporter's club has turned on the manager.

 

In fact, even the jury, magistrates and the judge himself were all Walmley supporters most displeased at the club's slump. This led to the manager being given FOUR HUNDRED hours of community service.

 

"It was all for nothing." said the fuming manager, who we found picking up litter on the side of the M6 motorway. "That nutter still burnt my beautiful bonsai tree.

 

"Thankfully, he got nowhere near my Japanese anime DVD collection. I'd be doing time in prison for manslaughter if that happened.

 

"And I'd be in a worse position. Simply because all the other inmates would be Jason Biggs, and I'd be the pie. I don't want that!

 

"These fans have got to understand it isn't freaking easy to manage a team like this one. The players might be good, but they're getting on now. It's only a matter of time before I give them a pipe and slippers and say 'Alright, now sod off, Grandad. Happy retirement, old coot!'. I need to get some decent youngsters in.

 

"If I don't do this right, we'll end up in Division 7 again and my manager rating will slip quicker than a greased-up fat kid going down a helter-skelter!"

 

Look for it in the Xpert Daily Golden League tab.

 

Oh, and I played the first game of the season today. I lost 5-1 to some bastard Birmingham City fan!

[Haden]

	Audio

 

Soap Box Utd 0-4 Tin Can Club

 

Tin Can Club unbeaten run continued as they trounced the abandoned Soap Box Utd. Knowing they were probably in for an easy game Tin Can Club played a 3-4-3 formation and went straight for Utd. Johannsson shot a blistering effort in from just outside the box for his 4th goal in 5 games. Just before half time young prospect Egill picked up a semi serious injury that will see him out of action for Tin Can Club for a week. However Tin Can Club found new life in the 2nd half and scored 3 more goals 1 shot and 2 bullet like headers. They are now top of the league with 13 points gained out of a possible 15.

 

MadDog United 1-0 Silverdale FC

 

MadDog United are perhaps best known for their shock win against Noodle FC away but today notched up another good victory against high flying Silverdale FC. United favored a cautious approach playing 5-4-1 while Silverdale played a more aggressive 4-3-3 formation. However United's midfield led by Hadley retained possesion and made it hard for Silverdale to push forward. United's defense was led by the inspirational Jeeves who surely had the best match of his 29 game career at United. Not only did he frustrate Silverdale's attack but after 17 minutes whipped in a magnificent curling corner for Carey to head in. Silverdale had nothing left to fight back with and still lack a big win against a top tier side, their next match at home to Noodle is a big test. As for MadDog they still have elements to improve on but are getting the right results after a shaky start.

 

Edd Kirby Athletic 0-0 Noodle FC

 

The only team without a win Athletic took on high flyers Noodle FC. The game was from the get go a high tempered affair with some of Noodle FC's stars including Zakay and Robinho getting yellow cards very early in the game. Noodle FC had big issues with the referee who made a number of contensted calls and in the end Noodle had 4 players booked. Zakay seemed to let it get to his head and had a terrible game. Noodle FC had most of the possession and 6 chances to 1 but could never get past Atheltic's keeper Bain. Who had the match of his life making several incredible saves and frustrating Noodle FC again and again. However Atheltics striking pair had an abysmal match with their youthful midfield also struggling to keep up to pace. A game which both sides may look back on and wish they had gotten more.

 

Happenstance FC 6-0 Party at Richters

 

Richters are now officially an abandoned team so Happenstance FC knew they would have an easy match ahead of them. However they took it on in style. Burbage was his usual outstanding self, commanding the midfield setting up Alejo for his 4th and 5th goals of the season within 13 minutes before scoring one for himself 2 minutes after that. Burbage then set up another goal on the 30 minute mark and headed one in the top corner 3 minutes later. Does he know he is 32 years old? Ronaldo made it 6 after shooting home a penalty late in the game, but then injured himself moments later. However he should be fit again soon, a minor concern for Happenstance FC who now have the best goal difference in the league and seem destined to go straight back up to the Premier League.

 

Analysis

 

Most Important Result:*MadDog United 1-0 Silverdale FC, good game which made the league more competitive and it is still hard to guess how many promotion candidates there are.

 

Turned on the Style Award:*Happenstance FC, Burbage had a field day superb dominant display.

 

Player of the Day:*Edd Kirby Athletic's, Marshall Bain, had the game of his life to keep his team in the match and gained his team a point. Honorable mention should be made to Jeeves of MadDog United who also had a great game.

 

1st Sep Division 1 results. So sorry guys I feel like a drunken Dad that keeps telling this son hes going to quit. I will catch up this week a double header is coming, been back at work but also admittedly playing L4D. Anyway hope you enjoy has an interview with Mcoy so its not all bad! Plus a great intro song you guys get a different one every week unlike the other loser leagues

 

	Audio

 

Mcoys Sons 1-1 Jaffa Munchers

 

Mcoys Sons look to be one of the favorites to be promoted but went against a well organized Munchers squad. The Sons were determined to play attacking football and it looked to have paid off as Heckingbottom blasted in a well crafted goal after 15 minutes. The visitors began to chase the game and gained two yellow cards for their troubles. Just before half time multi talented Munchers striker Gasbo pounced on a ball in the penalty area to even things up. The game descended into frantic action as it resumed both teams pushing and pushing. Neither team had the cutting edge but in the chaos 3 players were injured and goal scorer Gasbo was given a straight red for dangerous play. After such exertion both teams may have been disappointed with the draw.

 

DuD's Baggies 3-1 Complete Domstercool

 

DuD's Baggies had a crucial match today against the league leaders and their home crowd gave them their complete support. However things started badly as a freekick was shot into the box and headed in by Miles to give Domstercool the lead. A moment of inspiration by Forsyth gave Elliot the chance to break away and tie things up before half time. As the second half began the Baggies seemed full of spirit and created more chances, it was Standen though who shot in a screamer of a free kick to give the Baggies the lead. After this the Baggies contained play and the game was finished off in the 91st minute by a half volley from Forsyth. A crucial win for the Baggies who more than proved themselves against the league leaders.

 

Mike Strikes FC 0-1 Recall United

 

Recall United are a team that are noted for a great defensive record but also not the best attacking record to compliment it. They faced off away against managerless Strikes FC but chose to still go with a 5-4-1 formation. As well as fielding what some may consider their worse striker, Godden. Things looked grim for Recall as they dominated possession but failed to find a killer edge to score. It seemed the game would end 0-0 until Streep broke away in the 87th minute with a goal that settled the nerves of both the manager and fans.

 

Tellstorm 5-1 The Adorable Vikings

 

Another team without a manager and another defeat for them. However this one was never in doubt. Tellstorm dominated possession with over 60% in both halves and scored after 7 minutes soon after they had a penalty which was blasted high and wide by their captain. However in the 2nd half the game was sealed by a flurry of goals, Jakobsson scoring the last one with a lovely chip over the keeper to round off a great performance that gives Tellstorm their first victory.

 

Analysis

 

Most Important Result: DuD's Baggies 3-1 Complete Domstercool, DuD Baggies always seem to feature in important games, they made a huge mark with this victory a great result that opens the promotion race up.

 

Turned on the Style Award: Tellstorm, a flurry of games meant their first victory was a glorious one.

 

Player of the Day: DuD's Baggies, Marvin Standen, headed a strong defense then sealed the win with a blistering free kick.

 

Mcoy Interview!

 

How is your season going so far in your opinion? You still haven't lost a game.

 

Mcoy has yet to really make much of an impact, Mcoy picked up 6 points against 2 teams that everyone is bound to win against. Mcoy has 2 draws and a win under his belt with no real significant win so far, Mcoy thinks it's too early to make an opinion.

 

Who do you see as your big rivals?

 

Mcoy considers the Jaffa Munchers as his arch rivals after last years embarresment from the cheating scum. Mcoy held them to a 1 - 1 draw today even after their aggressive play injured his player.

Are you ready for the challenges of higher leagues?

 

Mcoy is not sure, Mcoy has not lost a game and his players have performed well however Mcoy is sure one more year of training would not do any harm, Mcoy has a lot of youths and players who have not got their heart and skill that are required yet.

 

Thats a wrap good luck in todays games! I have free interview spots PM me if you wanna feature.

[jayseven]

If someone (ReZ?) could text my my result tomorrow so i can also pass it onto Haden, it'd really be appreciated!