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Dyson

Becoming a 'grown up'

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In a bit of an off mood tonight, but have been feeling better in the past hour or so, which is probably why I ended up thinking about this kind of thing.

 

I'm now 19 years old, and have been for half a year. I'm starting to face the real world, can legally drive, buy my own house, get married, take out a loan, move out, whatever. The point is I'm supposedly a 'grown up' right now, but the problem is...I just don't feel like I've grown up at all.

 

When I look at all those things they all seem like things that people so much older than me should be doing, you know, the people we all see as grown ups. It's peculiar, and as I've grown up I've always felt this way.

 

Not to say I don't feel responsible or mature at all; I know I am can be both of those. But really I still feel like a child, or a kid, and I don't see how that's going to change.

 

So here's my question, N-E. To those that are the same sort of age as me, how do you feel about this? Do you feel the same as me or do you feel like you've become a 'grown up'? Can you see it changing if not?

 

And to the older members of N-E, does this feeling ever change? Or do those of you that have been living on this planet for many more years than me feel exactly the same way?

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I feel the same Dyson, only I've got 3 years on you! I still think of things like getting a proper job and buying a house are things that shouldn't concern me, but really they definitely should!

 

I left school 4 years ago and since then have just had a succession of crappy jobs! I don't honestly think the feeling will change until I actually start making something of myself, god knows when that'll be though!

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From my womb to my tomb

I guess I'll always be a child

 

(see, we can all quote lyrics)

 

Anyway when I look at some friends who were married and popped out some sproglings at an age younger than you wee Dyson yes I feel like im not taking the conventional grown up route but you know what? Fuck it. I am growing up in my own way. I am mature, but at which point are we merging mature with grown up? Im sure maybe in a few months when I have a job and renting my own place I will feel more grown up, but I've already done that anyway...

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I would say I am someway in the middle. I have a decent job, and I'm on my way to getting a car. I've grown the most mentally and emotionally. I've had to make a lot of decisions now that a lot of people don't have to face in their lifetime. The problems I deal with have perhaps matured me in a less than natural way, leaving me feeling a little bitter inside myself.

 

But on the other hand I still live with my parents and I'm nowhere near getting married and having kids. The idea of having my own house seems like a massive mountain to overcome. Maybe something I feel I'm not capable of.

 

I do feel different than when I was in school, but there's definitely a long way to go. I dunno if one could ever feel fully matured or complete..

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Oh I very much feel the same way, heh. I'm now 24 years old and still feel like a teenager or something, sometimes even a child (this is especially true when I'm in Disneyland for example =P ).

 

I still haven't gotten myself a diploma, came close once but gave up along the way. I should be getting a Bachelor's degree Friday, but I'd still like to go for my Masters, and possibly get a degree as a teacher as well. So by the time I leave school, I could be 26, heh. =P

 

Honestly none of that grown up stuff is my kind of thing. I still can't drive, I don't have a proper job, don't feel like moving out anytime soon (can't anyway while I'm still in school and don't have a job). Marrying and getting children aren't even really on my list of things for the future, especially that last one. X3

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In less than 3 months I'm going to be 20. I'm looking forward to that but I'm also dreading it a bit more.

 

I'll no longer be a teenager then. I'll pretty much become a man. And the sort of person I am now is nothing like I thought I would be when I was 10.

 

Most people my age drive, have a girlfriend/boyfriend, and know what they want to do in their life. I have none of these.

 

Not only that, but they've also done things I wish I could do. Many people have gone abroad on holiday many times whilst I only ever went to Wales (I haven't been over there for 5 years, though.). I've spent my entire life on this chuffing island and I'm pretty sick of it at the moment. I'm fed up of Britain.

 

I don't drive, I'm single, and am stuck on the dole without so much as a single clue as to what I plan to do. It's shite. Utter, utter, shite.

 

I can also see myself being in this same situation when I'm awaiting my 21st birthday. You could say I ought to pull my finger out of my arse and sort myself out but if you did I'd tell you to fuck off because I don't need you to tell me what I already know!

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I'm 19 in three days time and I've been thinking the same thing. I have no idea what to do because I've tried and failed to get a job for a year now.

 

I've passed my test but I can't drive which frustrates me more. I still feel the same as I was when I was 15 but a tad more wiser. I know what you mean though. Everyone my age are either engaged, going to university, still at college, got their own house, got kids...me? None of them. I've done college.

 

I've had girlfriends (most of them was hassle) and decided to just have fun while I can. I'm single too, some days I like it, some days I don't. Now, I just can't be bothered, lol.

 

I thought I'd have a job with my qualifications but it turns out all they want is experience now. Weirdly enough, when I was younger, I could imagine having my own house and stuff but now, I just can't see it. Funny what time does to you...

Edited by Animal

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I'm 30 in 2 months and I want to cry... I still think I'm 18... it's depressing... To a certain extent I've got nothing to complain about and come to realise that all the preconceptions of age are absolute bullshit but ultimately it doesn't help how you feel... Some people get their careers and wives/husbands before their 21, some never do; as long as you're happy and (more importantly in my eyes) fulfilled then that's all that matters. But 19 is still insanely insanely young! I didn't go to uni til I was 21!!!

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I'm 20 years old, but I still feel as stupid as was as a 12 year old. Maturing means more freedom, but also more responsibility. And responsibility is still something I haven't quite gotten used to.

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i think it all depends with me. i mean, on my own, in ideal circumstances, i act like im 10. i play video games, run around screaming, have stupid conversations with my mates. certainly i have none of the typical adult trappings, wife, kids, house and carreer all seem a long way off, though im getting closer to a car. i have no idea were im going in life.

 

i think part of it is i dont want to be old. i reject the idea that i have to do away with childish things, that i should swap squash for coffee, that i should care if my beds made or that i need a mortgage. i refuse to fall into routine and can't stand planning out meals in advance. mature people seem to get off on all this.

 

that said, when the situation requires it, i can be an adult. i can make polite and appropriate conversation, i can organise myself to avoid being late to arrangements. certainly, if a situation turns potentaly dangerous i will defuse it. i can carry myself in a respectable manner and im not afraid to face consiquences for my actions, which i find a real sign of maturity.

 

i don't ever want to get old, not if it means getting like my parents. sitting in front of the TV every single night, no friends, dependence on wine, unable to ever do anything spur of the moment. it would be like prison.

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Well I'm 23 - will be 24 in just over a week >.< - I have a reasonable job which I've been in for four years or so now, even that is scary when I think about it... :/ I'm single, not necessarilly a bad thing but then I haven't had much 'experience' either >.> and I still play Videogames regularly but I mean, come on... that's never gonna change. :heh:

 

I feel reasonably mature tbh, but I don't feel grown-up as such and tbf I'm not sure if I ever will, I mean having a job is classed as a grown up thing so that's something I guess as it's responsibility and those go hand in hand I suppose, I can cook pretty well but tbh Idk if that makes me grown-up or w/e.

 

Honestly I really don't know, I can't say it's something I haven't thought about, more something I've thought about a lot and for all that thinking I still just don't know ::shrug: so erm yeah... conclusive. :blank:

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I've just turned 18, and I'm also scared about "growing up". But I'm not worried about it. Till about a year ago, I had no diea what I wanted to do after the gymnasium, but now I have a pretty concrete plan for the next years of my life. Still, I'm dreading the day I have to move away from my parents.

 

I dunno what I'm trying to say. Don't worry about age and all that. I know exactly how it is to feel like you are "behind" your peers regarding what you have experienced and achieved, but I've almost learnt now that your life moves at its own pace. Trying to force it won't do any good. Though you shouldn't let that prevent you some just jumping into something new.

 

So yeah, I still don't know what I'm trying to say. Hope it helps you somewhat, anyway.

 

EDIT: Also, I don't think you should let go of "being childish" if you don't want to. I think it's great that "older" (:heh:) people can still find their inner child.

Edited by Dannyboy-the-Dane

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I'm 23 and I have no intention of "growing up" any time soon. You're only young once and I intend to make it last as long as I can. Although I refuse to become that 40 year old who still thinks he's down with the kids.

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I'm 30 in 2 months and I want to cry... I still think I'm 18... it's depressing... To a certain extent I've got nothing to complain about and come to realise that all the preconceptions of age are absolute bullshit but ultimately it doesn't help how you feel... Some people get their careers and wives/husbands before their 21, some never do; as long as you're happy and (more importantly in my eyes) fulfilled then that's all that matters. But 19 is still insanely insanely young! I didn't go to uni til I was 21!!!

 

Old man five!!! I could have quite easily written the same post you did, but I'm about a year older. :(

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I'm 17 and in under a month I will be an 18 year old and actually I feel like an adult. I can be both immature and mature. I'm immature in the sense that I can still laugh over someone farting and love to play videogames yet im very mature in the way that i see things and life itself. I think a few things that have happened in the last few years have perhaps made me grow up faster than I once would have and have made me more wise about things but in a way that's worked to my advantage as a few years ago I couldn't see myself ever growing up. I'm not quite sure where my life is heading right now but through a sudden wave of inspiration i'm feeling rather optimistic at the moment.

 

So yeah, I'm actually feeling quite grown up yet im still very childish and in a way i'm quite glad as I wouldn't ever want to lose my childish side.

 

I tend to be the one people turn to when they have a problem, im often diffusing situations and being the one who gives out the advice and im pretty surprised as i thought i would never grow mature enough to do those things.

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I never feel proper. Like...a lot of people (boys) in my year seem proper to me. Not adult, but I don't know. More able (in my mind's eye) to adapt to independant life, as I see it.

 

In a way, I hate the fact I'm pursuing art in further education, as I see very little stability coming from it. But then I'm a bit of a pessimist.

 

Stability is one thing I think I really crave, deep down. Or at least constancy. Obviously I love creativity and change on the surface, but it's scary too.

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For me, as a teenager I never felt like one but more of an adult, especially given the company I was surrounded with, which became more apparent at college. But as I've moved on from then to Uni, I've sort of stepped back. I don't feel fully grown up, and I doubt anyone ever does because there will always be a part of people that remains part child mainly linked to memories, but I do feel like an adult and Uni is certainly the place that has confounded it.

 

Going to Uni, it's sort of 'refined' who I am so to say and I just feel more grown up but not to the full extent. Having changed to study English at Uni, I'm really unsure of where I'll go/end up with life but that's all part of the experience of growning up.

 

I've grown in terms of my independance, although I still remain at home with my parents for the time being. There are things that I still see as being far off such as getting married, kids, a house and driving but I'm gradually moving towards them and some of them I'm wanting to really take the leap towards.

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I kinda feel like a grown up, although I feel like I'm in a stage of transition at the moment. I'm 22, and have just moved back home with my parents, after four years of being away at uni. So, I know I can make it on my own now, which is great, and I really have just gone back home as it'll make things a bit easier to save up. In Brighton, I was drained financially, so here I have a good base and can concentrate on just finding a teaching job.

 

You could say I've gone backwards in order to go forwards. Like rugby. I know this year will be a strange one, and it already feels a bit weird being in the house with parents again. I'm a 22 year old living like an 18 year old, kinda. In some ways. I know in my mind that I'm 22 and do feel older, but I know that going home has been somewhat of a backwards step. It's a sacrifice that I know I had to make, and I know I won't be here forever. My plan is to get this damn job, save like hell, and hopefully venture out on my own again. I just need that building block.

 

So, I do feel grown up, but I still feel in that transition phase. I won't feel like I have "made it" until I have my job, first of all, and until I then have my own place. I see friends moving in with their partners, and in jobs and stuff, and moving away, but I guess things are a little different with me, given the fact that I'm also in a long distance relationship.

 

If I'm 25 and still living at home, then I'll be worried about what the future holds for me!

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I've got another two (or three) years of uni left before I have to worry about growing up!

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The life I lived from High school, year 9 onwards, hasn't changed in the slightest. Things have changed around me but I haven't.

I can certainly act mature, and become more grown up. But I don't really want to right now.

When this summer finishes, that's when I make my move. I'm leaving this house and moving into my accommodation for Uni. Then I plan to live there over the summer after Uni whilst hopefully having a job in the town. I plan to go on a holiday providing I have money during that summer. Then third year will hopefully be a placement. Final year of Uni after that. Then I have major plans after that, but the problem is all money.

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This topic is awesome, for a while now I've been asking myself the same questions. All my mates moved away for uni, and I regularly see updates and pictures on facebook, whilst I lived at home to study. Everyone seems to be going places, yet I still feel as I have done for years now. Same old me, still at home, doing what I want.

 

I often ask myself whether I've grown up, but then I try to justify myself, for example I pay rent, even though I'm at home. I don't really feel any different than I did when I was back at school, obviously I'm not as stupid (I hope) but I definitely don't feel 'grown up' even though I am 21.

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Well I'll say Im 18, can drive, in a good relationship for the past 3 months... but still I feel in no way grown up.

 

I had a realisation the other day which weirdly came from reading the sport section (I couldn't give less of a damn about sport, just a random flick) and read about Ronaldo being signed to Man U at 18. Now this in itself would rarely impress or interest me, but then when I think how unexciting my life's been, at 18, it's a bit like woah...

 

Still, travelling, uni coming up, plenty of time to grow.

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I'm 22 at the moment, will be 23 in about 3 weeks time. I still live at home, have no car and currently no g/f. I feel older, but i'm still a kid at heart.

 

The sound of moving out and "Living On My Own" doesn't sound too daunting to me, yes it does sound scary and all that. But i am of the age where this isn't so bad.

 

I just won't move out until A/ my mates have money and wish to or B/ i find a nice female

Edited by Jimbob

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moving out and living on my own dosent sound scary at all. it sounds perfect.

 

It doesn't sound scary to me either, just financially impossible at the moment.

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