Posted April 28, 2009 This is a Mistresses inspired debate. A couple have been married for 12 years. They are trying for a baby but find it might never happen. The guy is crushed to hear the news and becomes distant. The wife cheats and gets pregnant with the other guys kid. Do you... As the man: A: Forgive her and try to raise the baby together B: Make her abort C: Dump her As the woman: A: Keep the baby and try to make it work B: Keep the baby and leave him C: Abort the baby to stay with him D: Abort the baby and leave him Personally, as a man, i'd make her get rid of it. I know its horrible, but theres no way the marriage can work with that thing hanging around. The constant reminder of the betrayal would be too much to bear. How could you ever love it like your own child? As for the girl, if they want to keep the baby then i'm afraid that would be the end of the marriage. Would i force them? No, but i would make it clear what i wanted. I'm not heartless am i? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 28, 2009 (edited) This is a Mistresses inspired debate. A couple have been married for 12 years. They are trying for a baby but find it might never happen. The guy is crushed to hear the news and becomes distant. The wife cheats and gets pregnant with the other guys kid. Do you... As the man: A: Forgive her and try to raise the baby together B: Make her abort B. Ask/Beg her to abort. C: Dump her As the woman: A: Keep the baby and try to make it work B: Keep the baby and leave him C: Abort the baby to stay with him D: Abort the baby and leave him Personally, as a man, i'd make her get rid of it. I know its horrible, but theres no way the marriage can work with that thing hanging around. The constant reminder of the betrayal would be too much to bear. How could you ever love it like your own child? As for the girl, if they want to keep the baby then i'm afraid that would be the end of the marriage. Would i force them? No, but i would make it clear what i wanted. I'm not heartless am i? WHAT ABOUT OHANA?! sorry guys, but as the "MAN" - you don't have the option of making the woman do anything. i'm super pro-choice, but it's not the guy's choice at all. in fact i cant think of a circumstance where it would rightfully be the GUY'S choice if the woman aborted her baby or not. i think if i were the guy - i would go with A. i'm assuming that even though i've somehow turned into a man i'm still super awesome - so i'd be strong enough to love the child and raise it. women learn to love their rape-babies after all.. though being really stingy i'd be on to child support to have the biological father tapped for maintenance cash... you knock my wife up it's gunna cost ya! and the woman? i dunno - maybe A, maybe C. in both cases it's kinda the guy's decision as to whether he's gunna be able to forgive the cheating and the fact that she even GOT pregnant with another man... that's gotta really mess you up when you've recently found out you're shootin' blanks... O_o you forgot the jerry springer option: JS) pretend it's his child and have him raise it as his own only to take him on a TV show when the kid's 18 to tell him he's been wasting his time, money and love. JERRY! JERRY! Edited April 28, 2009 by bluey Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 28, 2009 D. Kill myself. Nah, if there was a kid involved as well as the cheating I would very likely dump. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 28, 2009 WHAT ABOUT OHANA?! sorry guys, but as the "MAN" - you don't have the option of making the woman do anything. i'm super pro-choice, but it's not the guy's choice at all. in fact i cant think of a circumstance where it would rightfully be the GUY'S choice if the woman aborted her baby or not. i think if i were the guy - i would go with A. i'm assuming that even though i've somehow turned into a man i'm still super awesome - so i'd be strong enough to love the child and raise it. women learn to love their rape-babies after all.. and the woman? i dunno - probably A. you forgot the jerry springer option: JS) pretend it's his child and have him raise it as his own only to take him on a TV show when the kid's 18 to tell him he's been wasting his time, money and love. JERRY! JERRY! Haha, true! Jerry Springer is a definite option :p And yeah, i agree with it being the woman's choice, but they need to know where you stand, and begging them would be hard to do after such betrayal. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 28, 2009 D. FAAAAAAAAAAAAALCOOOON PUNCH! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 28, 2009 I'm all for working together and trying to keep a marriage going, but I think that adultery is one of those things that can just be an immediate deal breaker. For me it would be difficult. I sometimes get annoyed just thinking about my wife's ex-boyfriends so to know that she had cheated on me would be close to unbearable. Adding to that, another man's child would suck so bad. It would be a constant reminder of the affair. Sometimes it is hard to love your own kids, nevermind someone else's. So I'd rule out A. Abortion is eeeeeeevil so that goes out for me. Giving the child up for adoption on the other hand, would be an option. Conclusion: Adopt out baby or dump wife. Both sad; affairs aren't cool, and they mess up partnerships and kids. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 28, 2009 Sometimes it is hard to love your own kids, nevermind someone else's. fantastic. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 28, 2009 D. FAAAAAAAAAAAAALCOOOON PUNCH! Awesome, I need to find a link to that webcomic strip. Well this kinda happened to me except she was just my girlfriend, but either way, after she left me for the other chap things went sour and she was looking to come back to me. Personally I would go with the end it option, since I think it would be hard to bring up fruit that isn't from your own loins. off topic: Where the heck is Squirtle? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 28, 2009 Awesome, I need to find a link to that webcomic strip. Well this kinda happened to me except she was just my girlfriend, but either way, after she left me for the other chap things went sour and she was looking to come back to me. Personally I would go with the end it option, since I think it would be hard to bring up fruit that isn't from your own loins. off topic: Where the heck is Squirtle? 1) no, no you really dont need to link anything. no no no. 2) that sucks!! i guess while the guy doesnt have much of a say in whether the baby gets borned or not (all babies want to get borned!) it's the guy's decision whether the relationship gets aborted or not. 3) that drawing of squirtle was rubbish Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 28, 2009 Its quite simple for the man side of things, the relationship must end. Even if the female aborts the child to save the marriage she was the one doing the cheating. And besides, the man is heartbroken and that takes years to heal. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 28, 2009 <-- A wild Squirtle has appeared! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 28, 2009 Um, adopt the baby? make her abort? I think you're forgetting that it's not your baby and you don't have a right to do either o_o Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 28, 2009 Um, adopt the baby? make her abort? I think you're forgetting that it's not your baby and you don't have a right to do either o_o Its not necessarily about the baby, more the future of the relationship. As you're not the father, no you dont have any right over the baby technically, but on the flip side, the other man shouldnt have the right to contribute to a decision that influences a marriage. Nice thread rip btw, and EEVIL's picture wont work, so its even better :p Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 28, 2009 I would end it. Couldn't ever be with anyone that cheated on me. It's a horrible thing to do to someone. D. Kill myself. E. kill her (and him) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 28, 2009 WHAT ABOUT OHANA?! sorry guys, but as the "MAN" - you don't have the option of making the woman do anything. i'm super pro-choice, but it's not the guy's choice at all. in fact i cant think of a circumstance where it would rightfully be the GUY'S choice if the woman aborted her baby or not. Surely it should be a mutual decision where both parties get a 50 50 say in it? Considering the man has to help support the child no matter what is decided they should get a say in what happens. Having said that, I don't believe in abortions anyway apart from in extreme cases such as rape or where the mother is in potential danger. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 28, 2009 Surely it should be a mutual decision where both parties get a 50 50 say in it? Considering the man has to help support the child no matter what is decided they should get a say in what happens. I thought that, then I realised that it wasn't his baby. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 28, 2009 Um, adopt the baby? make her abort? I think you're forgetting that it's not your baby and you don't have a right to do either o_o I was the one that brought up adoption, and my two end options would be adoption, or ending the relationship. Obviously the adoption part is only an option if the lady was up for it. Everyone's conclusions here are based on the assumption that the partner goes along with it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 28, 2009 F. Descent into a mad, depressed rage of tears, lose the wife, child, job, friends, family, house, dignity. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 28, 2009 Well, I've been in the position before where the female did cheat, but luckily no baby was involved, as that would have made the situation a lot worse. However, it wasn't a great situation to be in. It's very trying and testing, and you've lost that trust. In order to bring up a child, you need to not be at war with your female, as that would just make things a lot harder than they need to be. I think it wouldn't be a nice entry into this world if the child emerged kicking and screaming, and was put into a household where the parents were kicking and screaming. Honestly, it would depend on how much I wanted to be with that person. Knowing me, if I loved that person, helping her bring up the kid would be part of the package, so you just swallow your pride and do your best for that kid. It wouldn't be easy, but if you were to bring up the kid as your own, then you're the one that kid is going to be calling Dad. That matters a lot more to me than where the kid came from. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 28, 2009 I would end it. Couldn't ever be with anyone that cheated on me. It's a horrible thing to do to someone. That's exactly what I'd do. E. kill her (and him) "You bitter?" "Yup, bit him too" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 28, 2009 Reading them at a glance I thought A on both counts. I don't doubt the situation would be different were it real for myself. Nice thread rip btw, and EEVIL's picture wont work, so its even better :p Bitch. Nothing a bit of sly editing can't fix. You'll barely notice the difference. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 28, 2009 (edited) WHAT ABOUT OHANA?! sorry guys, but as the "MAN" - you don't have the option of making the woman do anything. i'm super pro-choice, but it's not the guy's choice at all. in fact i cant think of a circumstance where it would rightfully be the GUY'S choice if the woman aborted her baby or not. I see that point of view. but then, if the man has no responsibility for the baby at that point, why does he suddenly gain responsibility when the baby is born and he's asked to pay to support this child? Either a guy has responsibility from start to finish, or he should have no responsibility at all, surely? On topic, it obviously depends on a lot of factors, but I hope that I would dump her regardless, I suppose it depends on the exact circumstances, but I'd probably cut off at that point and leave baby stuff to the parents. Edited April 28, 2009 by Pestneb Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 28, 2009 i wasnt talking about the guy having a responsability for the kid - just that he nad absolutely no right to TELL the woman to abort or not. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 28, 2009 Different scenario. If they had worn protection but still conceived, what rights would a father have? Should he have a decision as to whether or not to abort the child? Should he be forced to pay child support? If he doesn't want it aborted, should the woman be allowed to abort it? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
