tapedeck

Dating/Relationships Thread.

Recommended Posts

Maybe this has been misconstrued somewhere along the line as none of what has been said has been (or is) about “changing who you are” JUST to get women.

That’s clearly just deceitful to yourself and others.

It’s just been about adding power to your personality and presentation. None of this is about deceit or tricking others. It’s about making this a part of who you are. Being more confident through body language, recognising when someone is attracted to you (or it’s “on”), knowing women seek emotion, seeing what players do that you may not...

 

All I have said are truths I have found and the tools that both help and actually work. I know it's crazy. I was sceptical but damn, it's unreal how much some things can actually work. We're cut from the same cloth in so many ways, is it really so bad to think that some things actually are feel-good for us all? Or are we still obsessed with being individual?

If someone wishes to use tools for deceit then that says more about them than the tools given. This is just a teaching/information thread afterall.

Obviously: Learning tweaks the details; it doesn’t completely rip the picture up and make you a new person. If you go out and do something new then that’s only good for you as a human being.

 

There’s a famous saying along the lines of:

“If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten."

 

I hit a point where I was crying myself to sleep, doubting myself as a person, becoming a recluse, thinking about becoming celibate and blahblahblah.

Then I realised that life isn’t a rehearsal and, as I kept failing I just had to learn a new skill. By making it about something else (like a lesson I could learn) it helped me turn the pain into something manageable, something which existed on paper and not in my emotions. I wanted to beat the pain, to make it go away.

This failure in my life was important to me. I had to get it handled. I’m only in the first grade but everything at the moment hints to me having a more positive relationship with the current wonderful woman I’ve decided should spend time with me.

 

Still, some cracking info/stories have been dished out. A nicely simmering debate about something we ALL have our own experiences of. Sweet!

 

I think it's not so much about being someone you're not as it's about helping yourself become more confident. Being confident and resting in yourself (love that expression) are from what I can gather huge plusses when trying to gain the attention of the opposite gender.

 

QFT. :bowdown:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Shouldn't we all be, like, listening most to the dudes who have luck with the opposite sex? Liek, get DiemetriX in here and just do the opposite of what everyone else has said so far.

No offence to DiemetriX, but going by his past posts he seems rather dissatisfied with his string of short-term relationships. And then you have people like Jav who're still with the same person for 4 years, through thick and thin. Who really has the luck?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Shouldn't we all be, like, listening most to the dudes who have luck with the opposite sex? Liek, get DiemetriX in here and just do the opposite of what everyone else has said so far.

 

Definitely need DiemetriX in here. The man has a different chick every time he posts.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
No offence to DiemetriX, but going by his past posts he seems rather dissatisfied with his string of short-term relationships. And then you have people like Jav who're still with the same person for 4 years, through thick and thin. Who really has the luck?

I think if you offer either alternative to anyone in this thread they'll dream of one and long for the other. All everyone in this thread'll agree on is that both of them have all of the luck.

 

I just find it humorous that a bunch of (majorly) men are sitting around with their emotions for poker chips, banking on there actually being some sort of all-encompassing solution for the conundrum that is 'woman'.

 

I stick by my original evaluation; go out more. Socialise lots. Be yourself. Eventually a girl will fall for you, and because men are who they are, they will of course fall straight back.

 

I maintain that this thread comprises of a lot of young doods that are still in diapers when it comes to interacting with society. I am indeed edging my words with salt to see who will bite the blade, but I pre-emptively strike at their blow with a reassurance that I don't believe i know the least bit about girls, and in that, at least, I find comfort and confidence.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

well.. in august ill have been with nando for 4 years :).... and im only 20 so i think thats pretty damn impressive!

 

now.. why he stuck with me i dunno... im argumentative, lazy, messy, impatient... we have zip all in common bar a few films and music (game - nahhh only james bond n such!)

 

i guess opposites do attract :p

 

but yeh - we met online so the point of this post is - meeting online made it less uncomfortable the first time we had our first date cause i knew him pretty well in an informal environment....

 

.. and i did kinda half stalk him before we went out for about 6 months... didnt tell him that till we'd be going out a year :P

Edited by My Buttons are Magic!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I think if you offer either alternative to anyone in this thread they'll dream of one and long for the other. All everyone in this thread'll agree on is that both of them have all of the luck.

 

I just find it humorous that a bunch of (majorly) men are sitting around with their emotions for poker chips, banking on there actually being some sort of all-encompassing solution for the conundrum that is 'woman'.

 

I stick by my original evaluation; go out more. Socialise lots. Be yourself. Eventually a girl will fall for you, and because men are who they are, they will of course fall straight back.

 

I maintain that this thread comprises of a lot of young doods that are still in diapers when it comes to interacting with society. I am indeed edging my words with salt to see who will bite the blade, but I pre-emptively strike at their blow with a reassurance that I don't believe i know the least bit about girls, and in that, at least, I find comfort and confidence.

I wasn't really challenging your post — I assumed it was angled for entertainment — just playing devil's advocate. And at the same time pointing out that success is relative.

 

I agree that a lot of the talk in this thread is a by-product of inexperience. And people shouldn't take offence at that, firstly because it's patently true but also because it isn't a big deal. Hell, I haven't had much first-hand experience with relationships, the only reason I consider my advice worth a damn being that I boycotted¹ life as a teenager to be the perennial outsider instead; you can learn an awful lot from the outside looking in if you pay attention, especially if everyone comes to you for advice.

 

Overall I think people worry too much, plain and simple. Running after a relationship, any relationship, hoping it'll be some sort of silver bullet for all their problems. Chasing a rainbow because they think they should. Worried they'll always be alone, oblivious to all the people around them that actually care. It's all a bit silly. And that's okay, everyone's allowed to be so, but I'd feel bad if I didn't at least try to say, "Hey, maybe you should take a step back? You can't really appreciate anything when you're standing that close." No one listens, of course; I doubt I would. Actually scratch that, I definitely don't listen to myself! But maybe this self-styled loser can give someone else a leg up sometime, and when they're on the top of the world I'll be right there to borrow money.

 

 

¹That isn't the right word, really. At the time I'd have given anything not to constantly see through things, left to be young and oblivious as nature intended.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

if you want a woman in her late 30's, all you need is to offer her your sperm. they wnt babies so bad theyd fuck a tramp to get em.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
if you want a woman in her late 30's, all you need is to offer her your sperm. they wnt babies so bad theyd fuck a tramp to get em.

 

Thanks for that piece of insightful knowledge - I'm sure all the young ones here are looking for people in their late 30s.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'd quite like to tap my housemate's mother and she's in her early fifties I believe. You would too if you saw her. MILFtastic.

 

Sorry what were we talking about?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Thanks for that piece of insightful knowledge - I'm sure all the young ones here are looking for people in their late 30s.

 

your welcome :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
your welcome :)

 

Well I don't consider myself particularly young, so I should be grateful for your tips (if not now, in a couple of years maybe..).

Edited by Captain Falcon

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Not the conventional love story but this is mine:

 

Was on a night out with some mates on a thursday night. Got on the bus on the way home, a bunch of girls got on. Got chatting to one of them and seemed to have a lot in common. We both ended up getting off the same bus stop. I said to her maybe see you next week and she was like yeah maybe you will.

 

Never got her number or anything and didn't really think much of it. So anyway next week came, went out again and yet again saw her on the bus on the way home. She was on her own this time so came and sat with me. We ended up chatting more and this time I offered to walk her home from the bus stop which then subsequently lead to some kisses and bang 4 years into the future we live together.

 

So screw clubbing and dating websites. Buses are the way to go :)

 

Dude, that is a truly beautiful story. Fuck Notting Hill, this story tops that. If only Hugh Grant was in the starring role, instead of Alan Shearer. Aaaahahaha.

 

I joke. ;) *blows kiss*

 

Your actually being the selector. (And acting like you have value as a relationship isn't needed/your not needy - it's like your using the female line of "we can be friends" on them.)

I guess it comes across like your weighing them up and keeping them on their toes. Very powerful.

 

 

Ooo, me being the selector? Never really thought of it like that, heh.

 

I think ever relationship or girl I come into contact with is down to chance, or an accident, haha. Take the current Mrs_LiNk, for example...that wasn't planned, but Disneyland does magical things to people.

 

Actually, everyone should go there. Maybe we should move the forum meet there and have everyone pair up. "Now find a partner everyone!"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

SO this thread needs to be more than what it is. Can't we use this as a cesspool for advice/dilemmas that tend to congregate in the sexuality thread, rather than pish and moan the way we have done for 4 pages?

 

I'd start, but I think I'm being stalked onto this forum...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My advice? Watch Hitch :p

 

Most of what he says i've found to be true. Breaking the ice, getting through the barrier that gets you in to at least let them know who you are is pivotal. Then you just have to shine and hope you two have stuff in common/get on well on the first three dates and then the rest will be history.

 

But yeah, there's no real solution to women, or men for that matter. There are no guru's, no fail-safe methods. Its all just about taking chances. And if it doesn't work well, bitches be crazy, we know that.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Actually james I think you unintentionally gave me advice elsewhere and I may crank through this uni work and take a trip to Reading.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Actually, everyone should go there. Maybe we should move the forum meet there and have everyone pair up. "Now find a partner everyone!"
Disneyland meet would be epic! Though you do know if we follow you're plan it'll end up more of a gay love in, what with there only being like 5 lasses on N-E!

 

*Shotguns one of them*

 

Though not literally of course! they're already an endangered species on here!

Edited by Retro_Link

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Disneyland meet would be epic! Though you do know if we follow you're plan it'll end up more of a gay love in, what with there only being like 5 lasses on N-E!

 

*Shotguns one of them*

 

Though not literally of course! they're already an endangered species on here!

 

Wouldn't be too bad, I'd happily take an N-E lad for a wild time on Space Mountain.

 

I'm really not one to give any sort of advice as I sucked at starting relationships for most of my life. Only thing that worked for me was being bold. I was talking to girl in a club one night and she kept looking at me expectantly, I didn't know what to do so I went right in and just kissed her. Turned out she was only expecting me to ask for a phone number, but I must have done something right as two years later she's still around.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I dunno, the thought of trying to enforce horny guys upon owmen in a place designed for the amusement of children...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I dunno, the thought of trying to enforce horny guys upon owmen in a place designed for the amusement of children...

 

Take that back! Disneyland is for all ages! And Flinky is right, its a great place to take a partner. Lots of fun :)

 

An N-E meet would never happen though due to the costs and geography etc. Shame though.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Being with a partner is fine, a game of horny cat and mouse...?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I can definately vouch for Disneylandz being a great place to go on a date. (Just don't keep asking where Uncle Disney on ice is - it's not funny to Mickey and co.) :shakehead

 

Infact, doing something which involves you and the other person doing an activity together is the way to do dates. (Sex doesn't count - that's like pass go and collect 200 from the start.)

Going to the cinema is an old cliche that, in reality is going to enforce the idea that you sit there for around 2hrs and say nothing to each other. I often wonder how many women have been taken to the cinema for free. Be different and exciting. Make the activity the vehicle, and focus on having fun. After that it's amazing how things can proceed. Even if you take her to a comic store and discuss comics, it shows you have a passion and if you involve her in it = win! Plus if she doesn't like it she's probably 'fail'.

Oh, and never pay for everything. I've stated this numerous times but it's huge.

 

*Books a trip to see Uncle Diz on ice*

Strange, I've just noticed something I do!

 

I ALWAYS seem to talk to girls about Disney! Uusally ask them what there favourite Disney film is. Then I find a way to take the micky (mouse). Lion King = your a lioness and would claw my eyes out!

Cinderella, you wear raggy old clothes at home, Sleeping Beauty, your lazy...

 

Disney is prime-A pulling material and common ground from the off! : peace:

Edited by tapedeck

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This is all reminding me of this:

20090417.jpg

Incidentally I think I'll skip Disneyland - I'll only get drunk somehow and end up trying to chat up Donald's girlfriend or something. :heh:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have to agree with Tapedeck in that I personally don't feel that the cinema makes for a great activity for two people to do. Maybe once you're further down the line but as a first date, it's a no. The best thing to do on a first date would be something like going bowling or playing pool because if the girl/guy isn't very good, it means you can give them points/help by guiding them physically. This'll show whether someone is really into you or not as if it feels awkward doing this then it's probably not going to last long.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I reckon swimming is a pretty good date. Get to see each other with few clothes on and play about in the water. Just remember, no petting in the pool. :grin:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites