tapedeck

Dating/Relationships Thread.

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Heh, I always thought I was the only one who wondered how you know you are in love. Thanks for making me feel a bit more normal. X3

 

Well its not like love is something you can put in a glass and measure...

 

"Bingo! 10 litres - it must be true love! woo!" :bouncy:

 

If someone has the answer, I'd just love to be enlightened :heh:

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... It's difficult to say.

 

I mean, love has no definition. You just kinda know. You know you want to be there unconditionally for that person, you know that no matter what they ever did to you you'd forgive them, you know that you could accept them for who they are.

 

At least, that's how i feel >_>.

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... It's difficult to say.

 

I mean, love has no definition. You just kinda know. You know you want to be there unconditionally for that person, you know that no matter what they ever did to you you'd forgive them, you know that you could accept them for who they are.

 

At least, that's how i feel >_>.

But then, there are also varying degrees of love. I knew I was pretty deeply in love with my first crush, but I sure as heck know that I wouldn't be able to accept some things. To take an extreme example, if she had killed someone, for instance, I would seriously have to reconsider my feelings.

 

Though on the other hand, once the primary shock had settled, would I still have feelings for her? I might, though it's hard to tell. Maybe I would subconsciously repress the facts, as they wouldn't fit in with the glorified picture I have of her.

 

I don't know where I'm going with this ...

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Love is a good thing.

 

Love is emotional blackmail

 

in part. Not necessarily a bad thing, but felt it had to be said.

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... It's difficult to say.

 

I mean, love has no definition. You just kinda know. You know you want to be there unconditionally for that person, you know that no matter what they ever did to you you'd forgive them, you know that you could accept them for who they are.

 

At least, that's how i feel >_>.

 

Well see, that's how I felt with my ex (except there are things I don't think I could forgive someone), though in the end I realized I didn't really love him anymore. It might have been due to the circumstances we were in, or just the fact it wasn't meant to be, I don't know. But it made me wonder what love really is, as I was convinced I was in love with him for a long time (and I probably was, but the love just faded?). I find it confusing.

 

Also, I do agree that first loves stick with you, at least for me. Do to him living across the ocean I never see him anymore, but we are still on good terms and send an email every one or two months. Plus I still think about him very often too. Just something you can't forget about, not that I would want to.

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Love is a battlefield.

 

But seriously, no-one knows the answer to that question. Its a personal, emotional thing and you just have to trust your instincts. If you feel like you love someone, then you do. Its just life will test that love, and you may find that particular instance wasn't strong enough for you. So you move on. You now have a standard of love of sorts, as you know how you felt and you will in future base all loves on that first one, only you'll look for something that feels even stronger. How do you know its stronger? You dont. Life will test it again and it either holds or it doesnt, and the process continues, hopefully ending in you being with someone where the love does work.

 

Thing is, people try to quantify love, and i dont think you can. All types of love are different for everyone, its falling into one that works thats the key.

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No one can tell you that you're happy or sad, it's just how you feel. Love is the same.

 

If you think you're in love than you are in love. It's a feeling, so if you feel it then it's real. You might look back and ask, "Why did I even like that person?" But that doesn't change how you felt at the time, merely grants you some perspective. Maybe you found different, 'better' love later that made you question how you felt before, but even if the person wasn't who you thought they were you were still in love, even if it was with a lie or idea.

 

I think people get too wrapped up in romanticism and think of love as some kind of definitive state, some higher plane of being where everything is perfect. The truth is that love can be anything: euphoric, soul destroying, beautiful, painful, cherished, unwanted. It can be the best or worst thing that ever happens to you, and there's nothing you can do about it. As such I suppose my answer would be that love is scary, but there isn't any point worrying about it.

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Rubbish.

 

The ex/almost-current girly situation is looking set to be over sooner than later. For certain reasons, she's basically moving back to Brighton in a couple of weeks rather than the months she originally planned. I'm not doing the long-distance thing, so yeah. Back to working the field, i guess.

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You offering?

 

lolgayz.

 

um, no.

Sometimes I find it hard to keep track of who's actually gay in here ... :p

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Hey guys (And gals!) Long time no post here but I've an update on my seemingly never-ending escapade into the inner-world of dating/relationships.

 

I've been doing some serious dating and seeing multiple women at once over the last few months. Now, I've been 100% honest with all women involved stating that I do see other women and that I don't want to be in a relationship that 'ties me down'. (At least not in a kinky way.) Interestingly I've found that by even bringing the term 'relationship' up makes ME the instigator in that outcome becoming an actual reality. I've found that women are clever enough to KNOW if you're going to be relationship material or the relationship will be a long-term one. Therefore it's best not to even mention the word and just let things happen, it's also much more romantic and doesn't call out the relationship happening thus killing the subtext of it all.

I've also been holding every bit of power in all of these relationships. I've not manipulated any of these women by buying them presents, flowers or doing things just to get 'reward' from them. If I have been nice I've done it for the good and only occassionally - truly making the nice seem more powerful and keeping them on their toes.

This has actually been a bain on me as I've found that these women just won't leave me alone. Now, I'm not being arrogant about anything here - I'm just stating that the reality I've created for myself as a means to try something new in my social-world has actually (at times) been utterly exhausting.

 

I've had so much fun and I've spent more time with one amazing women moreso, yet we are having so much fun together that I've kind of 'weeded' out the other women and found that I can have my cake and eat it...which means that I'm getting the benefits of a semi-relationship AND having a killer social life with multiple attractive, intelligent women ALL because I've started working a 'couldn't care less' about an outcome/life in general attitude.

 

Anyway, I'm sure it could possibly create controversy that I would see multiple women but I've known many women who have done this in an effort to find out who is the 'real' man for them. I've just done this in reverse order. I've also found that by having a couldn't care less attitude about any outcome I am attracting multiple women and by being cocky and ball-busting I'm now in a situation where I have the relationship part of my life truly handled.

It actually feels like I can walk into any setting, engage in a fun/playful conversation with any women and show that I am a successful, non-needy, confident and great/funny guy and by getting these attributes across - walk away with a LOT of women who actually want me for the man I truly am.

 

Good times. I recommend really having fun with the women around you, tease them in a playful way - call her out on fashion, her drink choice, her phone, anything! You'll be truly rewarded! By being a little cocky and self-assured and ripping those around you in an almost jerky yet fun/playful manner your relationships with women will truly hit new heights.

 

Update over!

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I concur, Flink. Now, the real question is: Why won't God give his supernatural confidence to his loyal servants? (Read: Me!)

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