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Man makes the schlong choice, cuts off own penis

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A man took a pair of scissors and snipped off his own member after a falling out with his girlfriend. As he attempted to preserve it for posterity, doctors later managed to sew it back on.

After an argument with his girlfriend over her not moving in with him, he returned home and there cut off his manhood, apparently as he wished to be done with women entirely.

The man (37) was found bleeding on the floor, and was soon conveyed to hospital. Doctors, having discovered that, for some reason even he cannot explain, he had put his severed penis on ice, then managed to reattach the member.

It is not clear whether the self-castrator will regain full use of the unwanted appendage, or indeed whether he is happy about still having it.

 

 

Police explain the failed eunuch’s situation: “He told us that apparently he did not need his penis since his girlfriend didn’t want to move in with him – after two broken marriages, he said he wanted to have nothing in common with women.â€

Regarding his mysterious refrigeration of his lost manhood, police have this to say: “This was one wise thing that he did, if we can at all speak about wisdom in a situation like that.â€

 

Can't link to where it's from- the site is most likely against forum rules.

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Um, he's done with women. Did he forget that it's for buggering men too?

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"after two broken marriages, he said he wanted to have nothing in common with women.”

 

Surely by having a penis he has less in common with women than without one.

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"after two broken marriages, he said he wanted to have nothing in common with women.â€

 

Surely by having a penis he has less in common with women than without one.

 

That's exactly what I thought. He'd have more in common if he chopped it off, lmao. I think he was having a mad moment obviously, I mean, who the f**k chops their cock off because your girlfriend won't move in with you? :confused:

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Gotta have balls to do something like that.

Didn't mention lopping those off... He planned on going round with no rod but leaving the sack?! ::shrug:

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How?! Scissors arn't very sharp. Not like it would've been a clean cut, he would have been hacking away at it surely :o

 

He wont have use of that again. He'll have to have one of those urinal bags or something. So i guess it worked, he will be done with women.

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He wont have use of that again. He'll have to have one of those urinal bags or something. So i guess it worked, he will be done with women.

They're reattaching it aren't they? He should be able to piss again surely. Getting it up again however... probably more complicated an operation.

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I'm amazed he survived tbh, wouldn't you suffer serious blood loss from doing something like that? I'd imagine it to be like opening up an artery because well, a lot of blood flows to that point at times lol.

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Oh god, that exists? I'm too afraid to google.

 

Edit: FUCK FUCK FUCK! I did it...

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Oh god, that exists? I'm too afraid to google.

 

Edit: FUCK FUCK FUCK! I did it...

 

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Oh god, that was a bit of a stupid mistake to make. >_<

 

Its not something you come across very often in a medical situation. I've only heard of one incidence (in my trust area) - penile cancer.

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That's so much better than the album version.

 

Almost a real song, not just a random combination of failed songs they loved the chorus of.

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